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Butternut steamed not fried


Butternut

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I’m going like I did last challenge. 

 

1. Chin up drills 

2. Make bed in morning 

3. Work journal 1 o’clock 

4. Deep fry free

5. Be lazy 

6. Save money on Beer 

 

 

1. My goal is to be able to do 3 hanging chin ups by the end of this month. 

2. Taking advice from the nerd king himself, take control of making my bed.

3. To stay organized I’ll write in my work journal at 1 to ensure I note everything that was talked about and little fires I tamed.

4. chips. Love em. But like a stop sign, we need restrictions. Deep fried food. I want to cut it out completely unless we go out. 

5. Be lazy. I lose all desire to do anything once I’m done making dinner. So instead of fighting it, I’ll work with it. To be lazy and relaxed, bills will have to be caught up, house picked up, and that DAMN kitchen cleaned!

6. Every day we go with out buying beer at the local craft beer store I'm giving myself $12.99 points 

 

All points will reflect how much of that I tackled for each thing. 

  • Like 5

"One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire-

"People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad

"People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." 

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3 hours ago, Butternut said:

Chin up drill points +6

Be lazy +1

Work journal +3

Oil free +5 (I said no to buying chips! Woah!)

Get it, Butternut! Saying no when buying is the most essential point, so congratulations on that one. (If you say yes when you buy, then you have to say no again and again every time you think about eating what you bought. Easier to just not have any around.) 

 

Best of luck with your challenge! You're gonna do great!

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10 hours ago, Butternut said:

Chin up drill points +6

Be lazy +1

Work journal +3

Oil free +5 (I said no to buying chips! Woah!)

 

I love your goals, these are a great way to remember everything you are accomplishing and understanding that you need downtime. Great job on day one. Keep it up.

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You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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Thank you guys for your words and encouragement!

 

Today was weird, I woke up in a weird state, I woke up late which made me late, which my day planned turned upside down.

 

now that I sit here in my room, reflecting on the day.... What happened?  Why did I purposely eat things I didn

t want to eat? I brought a lunch! I didn't have to eat you damn everything bagel! But I did...  

 

As I was driving back to base, I got into a thought, do I self sabotage to be mad at myself? I'm so used to calling myself names, not believing in myself, telling myself "you suck" that I find all the reason to be mad, to be anxious, and/or to cry.  My whole child hood consist of not being good enough, that as I grow older those habitual memories of what I was told and what I told myself repeatedly comes back, but as adult Butternut now.

 

Ive had 3 weeks where I've been truly happy. A kind of happy that you can't remember how it felt to be that happy all the time. I've been focusing on these days to keep that happy feeling. Now that I'm here, on this day, where I sat in the parking lot of my job, crying like a 7 year old girl because I just didn't want to face my day. I didn't want to show my face to my employees. I just wanted to crawl home and go back to sleep. But I moved on, I dried my tears and went to fucking work. I couldn't be the victim today, I can't.

 

But today I wanted to be. That's why I ate a bagel. Why I made a latte with that gross sugar free stuff, why I made another bagel with 6 little butters and a cream cheese.  Now after eating all that, I'm the victim,  I can start feeling sorry for myself, wondering why I'm so stupid. 

 

As as I sit here reflecting my day, I wonder but feel my path is getting clear.

  • Sad 4

"One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire-

"People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad

"People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." 

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Work journal points +8

Be lazy points +2

Dry points +5

Oil free points +3

 

 

I am soooooore from my workout yesterday! 

 

And my my husband was still in be when I left to work.. ^_^ 

  • Like 3

"One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire-

"People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad

"People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." 

Link to comment
10 hours ago, Butternut said:

Thank you guys for your words and encouragement!

 

Today was weird, I woke up in a weird state, I woke up late which made me late, which my day planned turned upside down.

 

now that I sit here in my room, reflecting on the day.... What happened?  Why did I purposely eat things I didn

t want to eat? I brought a lunch! I didn't have to eat you damn everything bagel! But I did...  

 

As I was driving back to base, I got into a thought, do I self sabotage to be mad at myself? I'm so used to calling myself names, not believing in myself, telling myself "you suck" that I find all the reason to be mad, to be anxious, and/or to cry.  My whole child hood consist of not being good enough, that as I grow older those habitual memories of what I was told and what I told myself repeatedly comes back, but as adult Butternut now.

 

Ive had 3 weeks where I've been truly happy. A kind of happy that you can't remember how it felt to be that happy all the time. I've been focusing on these days to keep that happy feeling. Now that I'm here, on this day, where I sat in the parking lot of my job, crying like a 7 year old girl because I just didn't want to face my day. I didn't want to show my face to my employees. I just wanted to crawl home and go back to sleep. But I moved on, I dried my tears and went to fucking work. I couldn't be the victim today, I can't.

 

But today I wanted to be. That's why I ate a bagel. Why I made a latte with that gross sugar free stuff, why I made another bagel with 6 little butters and a cream cheese.  Now after eating all that, I'm the victim,  I can start feeling sorry for myself, wondering why I'm so stupid. 

 

As as I sit here reflecting my day, I wonder but feel my path is getting clear.

 

 

Oh Butternut.


I totally understand this. The number of days I have sat in my car, trying to convince myself to go into a job that treats me like dirt, and while i don't have employees, I have a bazillion people who think my job is to work for them alone. And the name thing and not being good enough, oh hon. I TOTALLY GET IT. I spent a good part of last challenge realizing that I need to be better than I am all the time. I know it now, but I haven't changed the script, I am not as good as everyone in my own head, so I have to work 4 times harder to feel like I might be there.

 

As I sit here I am starting to wonder if that was why Rogue was always my favorite X-man. She had such hardships with her parents, with her powers, without even being able to touch another person, and she seemed to handle it so well. So much better than I ever did. I dunno, just a moment of a thought.


I wish I had words to make it better. I wish I had a way to say "Here is the magic words that will help" But I don't. All I can say is I am here as you work on sorting this out and how to break the behavior. I am still trying to break mine. Hopefully today will be better. But know your not alone on this path.

 

*Hugs*

  • Like 2

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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14 hours ago, Butternut said:

As I was driving back to base, I got into a thought, do I self sabotage to be mad at myself? I'm so used to calling myself names, not believing in myself, telling myself "you suck" that I find all the reason to be mad, to be anxious, and/or to cry.  My whole child hood consist of not being good enough, that as I grow older those habitual memories of what I was told and what I told myself repeatedly comes back, but as adult Butternut now.

 

Ive had 3 weeks where I've been truly happy. A kind of happy that you can't remember how it felt to be that happy all the time. I've been focusing on these days to keep that happy feeling. Now that I'm here, on this day, where I sat in the parking lot of my job, crying like a 7 year old girl because I just didn't want to face my day. I didn't want to show my face to my employees. I just wanted to crawl home and go back to sleep. But I moved on, I dried my tears and went to fucking work. I couldn't be the victim today, I can't.

 

But today I wanted to be. That's why I ate a bagel. Why I made a latte with that gross sugar free stuff, why I made another bagel with 6 little butters and a cream cheese.  Now after eating all that, I'm the victim,  I can start feeling sorry for myself, wondering why I'm so stupid. 

 

Sorry to hear you had a sad day, Butternut. Your story hits home for me too; self-sabotage is something I am all too familiar with. Failing is easier than succeeding, it is familiar and comfortable. And all of that reminded me of a quote... "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."

 

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@Bean Sidhe thank you, it’s all good. Do you ever have those days where you just have to have your moment. You have to have it because you know you have to keep going. You have to just let stress win for a day so you can restore for the next day. It poured into my day today but I allowed to have my moment. For 1 hour. To feel all my anxiety and cry. I feel ready to handle it again, I know I may feel overwhelmed again but I will persist.

 

10 hours ago, Plazmotic said:

 

Sorry to hear you had a sad day, Butternut. Your story hits home for me too; self-sabotage is something I am all too familiar with. Failing is easier than succeeding, it is familiar and comfortable. And all of that reminded me of a quote... "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."

 

 

Yes, I like how you say failing is easier, it’s almost comforting...

 

can you explain that quote? 

  • Like 3

"One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire-

"People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad

"People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." 

Link to comment
8 hours ago, Butternut said:

@Bean Sidhe thank you, it’s all good. Do you ever have those days where you just have to have your moment. You have to have it because you know you have to keep going. You have to just let stress win for a day so you can restore for the next day. It poured into my day today but I allowed to have my moment. For 1 hour. To feel all my anxiety and cry. I feel ready to handle it again, I know I may feel overwhelmed again but I will persist.

 

Oh Butternut, I do get it. I have the days where I just need to cry (And today is starting one of them but that is another issue). Sometimes just admitting "I am having a day, or a moment" can help and then you can move on. And at least for me, sometimes hearing that I am not alone, or that someone understands, is a huge help. Knowing that its not just me that has these moments, these days, can help make the day a bit easier, and that is all I was trying to do. I hope today is a better day for you.

It may happen again, but you will still get up, put on the "We got this even if ti feels like we don't" Cloak and continue forward. Because there are not many other good options

  • Like 3

You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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9 hours ago, Butternut said:

can you explain that quote? 

The full quote is kind of religious so I'm not fully on board, but here's the whole thing...

 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

 

I interpret those first few lines as meaning: "sometimes we set ourselves up in a pattern of failure and hate ourselves for it, and this happens not because we are doomed to failure, but because failure is easier than the breath-taking success we are capable of, if only we weren't so afraid."

 

Personally, I have this crappy mentality related to perfectionism (that I'm trying to change) where I think to myself "if I can't do something perfectly, I'm not going to try at all". I've never been comfortable with the feelings that come with praise and attention from others, so... I half-ass my way through life.

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13 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

 

Oh Butternut, I do get it. I have the days where I just need to cry (And today is starting one of them but that is another issue). Sometimes just admitting "I am having a day, or a moment" can help and then you can move on. And at least for me, sometimes hearing that I am not alone, or that someone understands, is a huge help. Knowing that its not just me that has these moments, these days, can help make the day a bit easier, and that is all I was trying to do. I hope today is a better day for you.

It may happen again, but you will still get up, put on the "We got this even if ti feels like we don't" Cloak and continue forward. Because there are not many other good options

 

Yes! I’ve gotten some strength by realizing that I don’t need to stop the stress because the stress is ALWAYS GOING TO BE HERE!! I’m going to learn how to handle it.

 

12 hours ago, Plazmotic said:

The full quote is kind of religious so I'm not fully on board, but here's the whole thing...

 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

 

I interpret those first few lines as meaning: "sometimes we set ourselves up in a pattern of failure and hate ourselves for it, and this happens not because we are doomed to failure, but because failure is easier than the breath-taking success we are capable of, if only we weren't so afraid."

 

Personally, I have this crappy mentality related to perfectionism (that I'm trying to change) where I think to myself "if I can't do something perfectly, I'm not going to try at all". I've never been comfortable with the feelings that come with praise and attention from others, so... I half-ass my way through life.

 

Interesting.  Where do you think that comes from? Why can’t we easily overcome our childhood roles?

 

i too grew up with negativity from my 3 siblings and mother. I’m almost thirty and I still tell myself I’m fat, dumb, and annoying just like my brother and sisters would.... 

 

  • Sad 1

"One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire-

"People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad

"People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." 

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Yesterday

work iournal +2

 

 

Today

Be lazy points +2

chin up drills +5

Work journal +3

Make bed points +5

 

today with all this snow I made walking tacos with Fritos and I bought dark horse raspberry ale...  

 

it snowed alllll day! String bean and I shoveled the drive way. 

  • Like 3

"One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire-

"People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad

"People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." 

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3 hours ago, Butternut said:

Interesting.  Where do you think that comes from? Why can’t we easily overcome our childhood roles?

 

i too grew up with negativity from my 3 siblings and mother. I’m almost thirty and I still tell myself I’m fat, dumb, and annoying just like my brother and sisters would.... 

 

I think a lot of it has to do with internalizing those messages. You get told something often enough, you start to believe it, right? And then after a while, it becomes so ingrained in your personality, defying that expectation just feels totally out of reach. Why bother trying to be better when you know how worthless and incapable you are? Failure's no fun. So maybe we hold ourselves back from being our best because trying and failing is so much scarier than the comfort of mediocrity. And that self-sabotage in turn reinforces all those negative things we think we know about ourselves. 

 

This is why therapists and self-help experts will tell you to try to notice those undercutting voices that tell you all those bad things about yourself, and replace them with kinder alternatives. They'll tell you to practice not judging yourself, since it only holds you back. Self-love sure is hard, though. For myself, I rarely notice when I tell myself the bad things, since that's just the normal lens through which I experience the world. Noticing them is like trying to notice every heartbeat. They just happen. 

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21 hours ago, Wobbegong said:

So maybe we hold ourselves back from being our best because trying and failing is so much scarier than the comfort of mediocrity. And that self-sabotage in turn reinforces all those negative things we think we know about ourselves. 

 

 

Very good point. I like this. 

 

7 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

One challenge I had a positive thinking goal. Basically, when I noticed that type of negative self talk, I'd rephrase it into something positive. It's hard, but you do start noticing the negative stuff more the more you do it. And eventually the negative stuff starts to chill out a little.

 

This is very hard.  

 

I want to work at having more compassion for my negative feelings. I mean like @Wobbegong points out, it’s negative talk gets ingrained in us. This negative talk was ingrained when I was just a little girl. 

 

I look at my 7 year old and I can’t imagine saying the things that were said to me. 

 

So instead of fighting those feelings, because again, they are ingrained, I’m going to allow them and have compassion. 

 

Thanks guys for your input. It helps my thoughts widen the thinking!

 

 

  • Like 4

"One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire-

"People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad

"People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." 

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Lazy points +1(worked hard at it but totally bombed the kitchen because of watching The Return of the King)

 

chin up drill points +8 (AWESOME WORK OUT AT THE GYM! Thank you Daft Punk for assisting me)

 

Work journal +4

 

Make bed points +3

 

I have not been that dry this week..

 

Im gonna get better. I have too! My immune system can’t take that 1-2 beets a night. I eventually get the flu... The starting of the challenge is technically in 2 days, so this week was my trial run :-P 

 

  • Like 2

"One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire-

"People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad

"People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." 

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This is very hard.  
 
I want to work at having more compassion for my negative feelings. I mean like [mention=52508]Wobbegong[/mention] points out, it’s negative talk gets ingrained in us. This negative talk was ingrained when I was just a little girl. 
 
I look at my 7 year old and I can’t imagine saying the things that were said to me. 
 
So instead of fighting those feelings, because again, they are ingrained, I’m going to allow them and have compassion. 
 
Thanks guys for your input. It helps my thoughts widen the thinking!
 
 


You might have seen it when you passed in my challenge, but it was not the main focus. I am trying to shut the negative voices in my head without noticing them. Each morning I put my hand on my heart and say 'Good morning Diadhuit, I love you'. sometimes I have to do it more than once as the voice comes out nasty or fleble, but I think it is improving...
  • Like 2

Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

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8 hours ago, Diadhuit said:


 

 


You might have seen it when you passed in my challenge, but it was not the main focus. I am trying to shut the negative voices in my head without noticing them. Each morning I put my hand on my heart and say 'Good morning Diadhuit, I love you'. sometimes I have to do it more than once as the voice comes out nasty or fleble, but I think it is improving...

 

 

Woah! That’s interesting.

 

Did you feel silly doing it the first few times? 

  • Like 2

"One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire-

"People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad

"People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." 

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3 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

Yes, of course! I still do :)
That's why I need to do it over: first time feels awkward, second feels |'m a soldier giving orders, third is acceptable :D

 

Lol. I bet. I just feel so.. kiddish about it. Mr. Butternut does a lot of affirmation but I have never found repeating things help me...

 

But then again I’ve never committed and/or stayed consistent.

 

Ive heard a podcast with Evan Bramd saying there’s certain pressure points to hold onto while you say your affirmations.

 

Thanks for sharing, it’s so weird that in real life people we meet, work with, etc., don’t realize we all go through same emotional shame and fear.

  • Like 3

"One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire-

"People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad

"People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." 

Link to comment

Chin up drills +5

lazy points +8

oil free +3

Make bed points +4

 

I ended having a vodka and cranberry. I only did one shot and I sipped on it for 3 hours. 

 

I wasnt planning on working out but I woke up and wanted to stretch but instead did some animal walk warm ups and stretched with lil Squash and yoga poses. 

 

Im really digging animal walks. I have a long narrow living room and it works out great!

  • Like 3

"One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire-

"People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad

"People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." 

Link to comment



 
Lol. I bet. I just feel so.. kiddish about it. Mr. Butternut does a lot of affirmation but I have never found repeating things help me...
 
But then again I’ve never committed and/or stayed consistent.
 
Ive heard a podcast with Evan Bramd saying there’s certain pressure points to hold onto while you say your affirmations.
 
Thanks for sharing, it’s so weird that in real life people we meet, work with, etc., don’t realize we all go through same emotional shame and fear.


I never heard of pressure points, but it's true that I use body reminders for my meditations lately (heart for this, fingertips for others)

I also have a trick to know what is going on in other people lives: when they ask how are you respond with the truth (but keep it short, like 'ah, could be better, my washing machine broke' don't go into details), then ask the same question stressing the word you. If it is a person you have confidence with (even just a work-friend) and looks they are having a hard time ask again: how are you, for real? And be prepared to listen, looking at posture and espressions to interpret if they are telling you the truth and ask the hard questions, ask how does make you feel? Is there anything I can do? And, please, mean it! If you try that route avoid my mistakes of offering too many opinions (what about doing this?) and relating everything to my life (this huge thing happened to you? Ah, yes, this tiny one that happened to my cousin is similar, now I can understand you...)

This is hard at times, especially when too many people are asking your help. There is a tiny line between you offering friendship and help and you being dragged down by the world's problems...

It is very rewarding when you know piece of lives of people that are not you friends (my head of unit once told me that his mom was sick and his brother turned away, my line manager told me he is scared of talking in public)

There is one drawback: people don't understand if you are being friendly or flirty (at least that's what happens to me)
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Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

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