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ixaera

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W2D6 (Saturday)

 

1. Lift things according to program

Rest day

 

2. Eat 90+g protein

72g

 

3. Eat 2 veggies & a fruit a day

Cucumber, lettuce, seaweed in my poke bowl for lunch, 2 clementines, then dinner had onions and tomato and cilantro and alloco (plantain)

 

4. Don't go over 

1750/1550  

*makes face at self* --I have basically just been eating what I want which isn't always BAD per se, I just end up with lower protein than goal and more calories than goal

 

5. Don't cut yet, either

--

 

6. Write 2000 words a week!

Just over 1300 today, should be able to finish it off easily tomorrow. The "why do you even bother" gremlins attacked today and I had to shoo them away with "it's ok to write even if it sucks and you'll never get anything out there"

 

Today was pretty awesome in terms of productivity and relaxation. Tomorrow I'm going to do light bench day, go to the grocery store, and I HOPE watch Black Panther, but our movie plans often fall through. Either way, we're gonna eat within food guidelines darnit.

 

So, all this late night updating means I never remember to talk about my day's shenanigans because by the time I'm here, I'm tired and not thinking about it. Like, I bring work clothes to the gym in the morning to change into and Friday I thought what I had was my company logo polo and an undershirt (as it shows a bit too much cleavage for work for my own comfort) but what I REALLY brought was that polo and a dress somehow, so I ended up with the polo and just having a hoodie zipped up all day :S

 

Also, I finally after YEARS of brainstorming off and on have an idea for altering the ankle tattoo I got when I was 19. (It's a little basic crescent & star, in a non-traditional configuration.) I don't hate it, but I don't relate to it like I once did and I think I want to put art there instead. So, that might be happening sometime this spring or summer.

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Doing some TDEE math, I've averaged 1767 since the bulk began, which adds up to about 2.5 lbs acceleration by now, and I've gained roughly 5. Assuming a TDEE of 1550, I should have gained about 2+ish lbs if I stuck to 1700 on average, which means my TDEE calculation is still right about on track. (Because 67 more calories on average is about 5600 total extra)

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On 2/24/2018 at 11:58 PM, ixaera said:
  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

 

6. Write 2000 words a week!

Just over 1300 today, should be able to finish it off easily tomorrow. The "why do you even bother" gremlins attacked today and I had to shoo them away with "it's ok to write even if it sucks and you'll never get anything out there"

 

I don't write but I read the book Big Magic (which is focused on writing-based creativity) and I really enjoyed it. It doesn't sound like you need any extra encouragement, I just thought I'd drop a book recommendation. I feel like it helped give myself permission to do things even when I'm #notallthatgreat at them.

 

On 2/24/2018 at 11:58 PM, ixaera said:

Also, I finally after YEARS of brainstorming off and on have an idea for altering the ankle tattoo I got when I was 19. (It's a little basic crescent & star, in a non-traditional configuration.) I don't hate it, but I don't relate to it like I once did and I think I want to put art there instead. So, that might be happening sometime this spring or summer.

 

yasssss tattoos are the literal bae

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Jǫrð, Delvian Nomad - Level 12 { Battle Log }

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On 2/24/2018 at 12:17 PM, ixaera said:

 

I don't know if other places sell them but the Murphy's Deli that's on site at work has them (along with Starbucks coffee, so maybe Starbucks has these???)

But it's basically a bottom made of crushed graham cracker, coconut filling, choco chips, and some other stuff. I didn't see seven layers, more like 2, but I'm not going to quibble about the name when it tastes so good. (If you don't like coconut shreds you won't like this, though, it's full of coconut)

yessss these used to be my moms go-to dessert to make for parties. i lurve them. the "layers" are graham cracker, butter, chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, coconut, walnuts, and sweetened condensed milk

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On 2/24/2018 at 11:58 PM, ixaera said:

Also, I finally after YEARS of brainstorming off and on have an idea for altering the ankle tattoo I got when I was 19. (It's a little basic crescent & star, in a non-traditional configuration.) I don't hate it, but I don't relate to it like I once did and I think I want to put art there instead. So, that might be happening sometime this spring or summer.

 

HECKYEAH

 

It really does take a Heckin' Big Think for that kinda stuff, huh...

i am not waiting for a hero.  i saved myself long ago.

Level 50 Bardic Time-Mage; of the Furious Heart

STR.55  DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65

"Well...in the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't.

You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair...
...But that's the way things are. The choice is yours."

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4 hours ago, Taddea Zhaan said:

 

I don't write but I read the book Big Magic (which is focused on writing-based creativity) and I really enjoyed it. It doesn't sound like you need any extra encouragement, I just thought I'd drop a book recommendation. I feel like it helped give myself permission to do things even when I'm #notallthatgreat at them.

Seconding Big Magic - helped me get through the "why do you even bother" gremlins with dance.

 

Speaking of gremlins, any chance you read any of Brene Brown's work, Ix? I've listened to a couple of her audio books and I really liked the imagery of gremlins as the personification of my perfectionism (first time I'd encountered them, not sure if it started with a different author somewhere else).

 

3 hours ago, CourtnieMarie said:

yessss these used to be my moms go-to dessert to make for parties. i lurve them. the "layers" are graham cracker, butter, chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, coconut, walnuts, and sweetened condensed milk

My favorite part of the holiday cookie season. Also, I LOL every time we make them at the thought of butter being a layer.

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 Ballroom dancer, data nerd, calisthenics dabbler

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12 hours ago, Taddea Zhaan said:

 

I don't write but I read the book Big Magic (which is focused on writing-based creativity) and I really enjoyed it. It doesn't sound like you need any extra encouragement, I just thought I'd drop a book recommendation. I feel like it helped give myself permission to do things even when I'm #notallthatgreat at them.

 

8 hours ago, MikeWazowski said:

Seconding Big Magic - helped me get through the "why do you even bother" gremlins with dance.

 

noted! putting it on my list :3

 

12 hours ago, Taddea Zhaan said:

 

yasssss tattoos are the literal bae

 

9 hours ago, shaar said:

 

HECKYEAH

 

It really does take a Heckin' Big Think for that kinda stuff, huh...

Super Big Thinking Brain it needs

 

I've probably been thinking about it for years off and on and just never settle on anything that will both cover up or use the old thing and still appeal to me, so I'm happy for the breakthrough \o/

 

12 hours ago, CourtnieMarie said:

yessss these used to be my moms go-to dessert to make for parties. i lurve them. the "layers" are graham cracker, butter, chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, coconut, walnuts, and sweetened condensed milk

 

8 hours ago, MikeWazowski said:

My favorite part of the holiday cookie season. Also, I LOL every time we make them at the thought of butter being a layer.

 

Ahhh so layers actually = ingredients, GOTCHA. They're effing delicious though. Treat city. Butter is also my favorite layer re: toast

 

8 hours ago, MikeWazowski said:

Speaking of gremlins, any chance you read any of Brene Brown's work, Ix? I've listened to a couple of her audio books and I really liked the imagery of gremlins as the personification of my perfectionism (first time I'd encountered them, not sure if it started with a different author somewhere else).

 

Nope, what this??

 

tenor.gif?itemid=7641101

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I had a multitude of ideas for what song to post for Sunday, so many really, and I ended up just picking something that if you don't already know about, you should (if you like this sort of thing, this sort of thing being Amanda Palmer playing a ukelele, and also Radiohead). My other choices were less particularly delightful to me, the sort of thing I super enjoy but could also potentially live without sharing. And there's two weeks to decide to post one of the runners up, too. (Basically every day I either get an earworm or hear a song and go "this is today's theme song" and it fights vs other songs in a thunderdome in my head and one wins and ends up here)

 

W2D7 (Sunday)

 

1. Lift things according to program

Shoulder/arm day is basically nothing during this block--just light bench + a few accessories. Done, easy. Elbow feels fine.

 

2. Eat 90+g protein

109g

 

3. Eat 2 veggies & a fruit a day

Chipotle beans, Chipotle guac, broccoli, win on a technicality b/c avocado is botanically a fruit 

 

4. Don't go over 

1797/1700  

Well, we're getting closer I guess. I'm broken obviously

 

5. Don't cut yet, either

--

 

6. Write 2000 words a week!

About 800 or so. Wasn't wound up enough to keep going, sadly.

 

I spent most of the day watching Lost Girl and playing FFXIV no ragrats

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Spoiler

 

have yourself some dubstep circus music

 

W3D1 (Monday)

 

1. Lift things according to program

Squats day. Did I mention I got a personal trainer? I did that. Anyway, a 3x3 at 115 that could have been a 3x5 at 115. Then I said "I need 4 sets of hamstrings and 2 sets of abs" and he puts me on the reverse hyper. I could not master this solo in the past but I have now learned, not that it matters BECAUSE it is horribly awful on my back. I felt my back, so I stopped, and I have been in a bad place backwise ALL day. Not hobbling or immobile, just slow and very achey and careful. It sucks and I need it to be better by Friday for deadlifts please

 

2. Eat 90+g protein

95g

 

3. Eat 2 veggies & a fruit a day

Mixed cup of fruit at breakfast, salad at lunch, that's all unless wintogreen life savers count in which case I had a billion

 

4. Don't go over 

1739/1850  

It kinda looks like I'm normalizing around 1750 I guess. I'll wrangle this rabbit soon. Little bastard got away from me for a bit. 

 

5. Don't cut yet, either

I am feeling super fluffy

 

tenor.gif?itemid=3439312

^me

 

6. Write 2000 words a week!

nothing yet, probably not til at least thursday

 

Today I got SupportAnnoyed twice, accidentally broke up rabbit sex (sorry rabbits), and had my first workday where I spent 90% of it busy because I had so many replies to tickets I'm working. Still slow at grabbing new ones though. :/

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TRIPLE POST TRIFECTA

 

Today's theme music is circus-related because this week tomorrow and the day after that I'm working 11 hour days isn't that nice

 

(This is not a big deal to me as a thing, but I will be VERY TIRED AFTER SUCH LONG DAYS and probably it will be a little bit crazy juggling my existing tickets plus supporting the thing that's being rolled out and I'm being devoted to)

 

On the plus side, work party Friday to celebrate the UNVEILING OF THE NEW FLOOR (my team is moving floors) and then I HAVE to go home early b/c I'll have no place to sit between 5pm Friday and Monday.

 

And now I'm off to do some back rehab and then rest the ASS out of it

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2 hours ago, ixaera said:

Butter is also my favorite layer re: toast

SAME. Or maybe peanut butter.

 

2 hours ago, ixaera said:

 

Nope, what this??

 

tenor.gif?itemid=7641101

So she’s a shame and vulnerability researcher from Houston (TEXAS!!) and has a bunch of books, but I started with “The Power of Vulnerability” on audiobook and found it to have a ton of food for thought in how I could show up to more of my personal relationships as my full self and own my imperfections. Still working on it a lot, but it’s one I love going back to on Audible. She also had one specifically on perfectionism “The Gifts of Imperfection” which I suspect is also good and is next up on my audiobooking list I think. She’s a great speaker, and she’s a nerdy, introverted perfectionist so her work really speaks to me on that level. If you wanna check her out and haven’t tried audible yet, I can share the audiobook I have and it’s free for you to download and listen to.

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 Ballroom dancer, data nerd, calisthenics dabbler

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10 hours ago, ixaera said:

1. Lift things according to program

Squats day. Did I mention I got a personal trainer? I did that.

 

when did that happen? how are you feeling about it? are they knowledgeable and awesome?

 

10 hours ago, ixaera said:

and he puts me on the reverse hyper. I could not master this solo in the past but I have now learned, not that it matters BECAUSE it is horribly awful on my back. I felt my back, so I stopped, and I have been in a bad place backwise ALL day. Not hobbling or immobile, just slow and very achey and careful. It sucks and I need it to be better by Friday for deadlifts please

 

that doesn't sound good. I assume he knows about thebigouch?

 

10 hours ago, ixaera said:

3. Eat 2 veggies & a fruit a day

Mixed cup of fruit at breakfast, salad at lunch, that's all unless wintogreen life savers count in which case I had a billion

 

maybe 1 lifesaver doesn't count, but a billion definitely does

 

10 hours ago, ixaera said:

Today I got SupportAnnoyed twice, accidentally broke up rabbit sex (sorry rabbits),

 

no comment

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Jǫrð, Delvian Nomad - Level 12 { Battle Log }

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i loved that circus dubstep and am excited for more! i am sorry though that the reason for circus themed music is your stress levels...

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12 hours ago, ixaera said:

Today I got SupportAnnoyed twice, accidentally broke up rabbit sex (sorry rabbits), and had my first workday where I spent 90% of it busy because I had so many replies to tickets I'm working. Still slow at grabbing new ones though. :/

 

giphy.gif

 

I think I have been SupportAnnoyed a few times.....it ain't pretty. Was it related to the 90% busy rate by chance?

I hope you told those rabbits to Get A Room.

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On 2/27/2018 at 6:12 AM, Taddea Zhaan said:

that doesn't sound good. I assume he knows about thebigouch?

 

Yeah, I told him I had picked a 16 week program for powerbuilding especially because it isn't stressful on the back most weeks. To his credit, there's a lot of junk on the internet about the reverse hyper being great for back injuries. UNFORTUNATELY, back injuries vary a lot person to person (as we nerds know!) so sometimes something that works well for a lot of people is crap for a few. I think now that he knows the reverse hyper was a bad idea (not his fault at all of course) he's interested in figuring out what I can do that will also strengthen the stuff that keeps my back strong. 

 

Because boy howdy yesterday was actual hell. I wasn't comfortable working remote or taking off sick on a rollout day and being so new, so I went to work with a lidocaine 5% patch on, which I was convinced until now wasn't working because I felt like warm shit all day. The conference room chairs were the very very bad kind, and no good kinds anywhere near to roll in. I stood up a bit, but there was also no good stand up and work area, so I just went to the bathroom every 45 minutes to get walking in (more like waddling) and to do a stretch I found that seems to help me a little bit. Also for whatever reason, sitting on that toilet felt 100% fine and that's embarrassing but there we have it folks.

 

It was an 11 hour day, after which I came home, fed the cat, showered, took a cyclo and after trying the flat on my belly position on the floor that often helps (it didn't much) I nearly killed myself getting up then went to bed, because laying on my side seems to be mostly pain free. Not much sciatica to speak of at least. Just an all consuming dull, heavy ache in the lumbar. Weee.

 

Don't know yet if bench day is getting skipped. Those days don't hit my back much and if I avoid picking up dumbbells and just use machines it's probably ok? If not I can just leave. Friday deadlifts is LIKELY out at this rate, though I actually may go in and do bodyweight squats and something light in the deadlift realm. Manuevering the trapbar today would be out of the question, but by Friday maybe it won't suck. If it does, I may just try the hack squat machine on empty? I don' t know, but pulldowns and t-bar rows might be totally fine.

 

Today I still feel like warm shit, though slightly better than yesterday when my every other thought until 3 pm was "how the flying fuck am i supposed to get through this day?"

 

If nothing else, at least I know I can fuckin' do anything

 

On 2/26/2018 at 9:43 PM, MikeWazowski said:

So she’s a shame and vulnerability researcher from Houston (TEXAS!!) and has a bunch of books, but I started with “The Power of Vulnerability” on audiobook and found it to have a ton of food for thought in how I could show up to more of my personal relationships as my full self and own my imperfections. Still working on it a lot, but it’s one I love going back to on Audible. She also had one specifically on perfectionism “The Gifts of Imperfection” which I suspect is also good and is next up on my audiobooking list I think. She’s a great speaker, and she’s a nerdy, introverted perfectionist so her work really speaks to me on that level. If you wanna check her out and haven’t tried audible yet, I can share the audiobook I have and it’s free for you to download and listen to.

 

I will look out for the text-based book! I am not an audio book sort, my mind frequently wanders so I'm better off with text or I miss huge important things.

 

On 2/27/2018 at 8:54 AM, Urgan said:

I think I have been SupportAnnoyed a few times.....it ain't pretty. Was it related to the 90% busy rate by chance?

I hope you told those rabbits to Get A Room.

 

Being busy probably saved me for a change. One of them was a client who had never interacted with me before. He gave me a "user" id, then I did some digging and found I needed to add a "company" id. So I ask him for the company id and he goes "it's right there in the description" then copy pastes the user id *eyeroll*

 

I super hate when people are like that. I get when someone asks for something you've provided it's annoying, but it's your own fault if your terminology doesn't line up. Rather than be rude he could have said "Oh, the user id IS the company id". THEN, yesterday, I updated a different ticket for the same guy and he goes "but that user can get in it's the SUB users that can't" ... I know... but the main user needs a setting for the sub users to have access :| ASSUMING MAKES YOU A WHAT

 

The other thing is an internal guy who irritates everyone, not just me. He keeps futzing around with MY tickets. GET OUT MY TICKET 

 

At least I didn't have to go in butt early again, and if my back gets to hell levels later I'll just ask to go home. I tell myself. But I'll probably tough it out because I'm a dumbass that way sometimes.

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4 minutes ago, ixaera said:

The other thing is an internal guy who irritates everyone, not just me. He keeps futzing around with MY tickets. GET OUT MY TICKET 

 

This is justifiable homicide. I had a coworker like that back in the day, only he would maliciously edit tickets. I learned to check the audit trail and stop work on them if I saw his name.

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Shows: 

Games: God of War, Kingdom Hearts 3, Destiny 2

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3 minutes ago, ixaera said:

Because boy howdy yesterday was actual hell. I wasn't comfortable working remote or taking off sick on a rollout day and being so new, so I went to work with a lidocaine 5% patch on, which I was convinced until now wasn't working because I felt like warm shit all day. The conference room chairs were the very very bad kind, and no good kinds anywhere near to roll in. I stood up a bit, but there was also no good stand up and work area, so I just went to the bathroom every 45 minutes to get walking in (more like waddling) and to do a stretch I found that seems to help me a little bit. Also for whatever reason, sitting on that toilet felt 100% fine and that's embarrassing but there we have it folks.

 

Shouldn't be embarrassing, the height of the chair, length of the seat, or something else was messing with you, clearly. It's hard when you're new and you have Special Needs on a high stress day/week/month.

 

5 minutes ago, ixaera said:

Being busy probably saved me for a change. One of them was a client who had never interacted with me before. He gave me a "user" id, then I did some digging and found I needed to add a "company" id. So I ask him for the company id and he goes "it's right there in the description" then copy pastes the user id *eyeroll*

 

I super hate when people are like that. I get when someone asks for something you've provided it's annoying, but it's your own fault if your terminology doesn't line up. Rather than be rude he could have said "Oh, the user id IS the company id". THEN, yesterday, I updated a different ticket for the same guy and he goes "but that user can get in it's the SUB users that can't" ... I know... but the main user needs a setting for the sub users to have access :| ASSUMING MAKES YOU A WHAT

 

OMG I have had this very same interaction with clients and it is one of life's little pains. AKA why you can't put me client-facing anymore. Not if you value the status quo.

 

6 minutes ago, ixaera said:

The other thing is an internal guy who irritates everyone, not just me. He keeps futzing around with MY tickets. GET OUT MY TICKET 

 

2 minutes ago, Grumble said:

 

This is justifiable homicide. I had a coworker like that back in the day, only he would maliciously edit tickets. I learned to check the audit trail and stop work on them if I saw his name.

GET OUT MY STORY. I second that it's begging for a throat punch at the VERY least.

 

giphy.gif

 

8 minutes ago, ixaera said:

At least I didn't have to go in butt early again, and if my back gets to hell levels later I'll just ask to go home. I tell myself. But I'll probably tough it out because I'm a dumbass that way sometimes.

 

YAY small favors. Hopefully your back quiets down so you won't have to make the choice, but if it's that or re-irritation there's only one option!

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Level 13 Shape-shifting Warrior Monk

STR:45 | DEX:18 | STA:10 | CON:37 | WIS:37 | CHA:27

The stronger the body the more it obeys, the weaker the body the more it commands. -- Siegmund Klein

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I need you to know I've added Jesus Hornblower Christ into my daily rotation of exasperated expressions and it's VERY FULFILLING

 

Thank you and that is all for now~

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i am not waiting for a hero.  i saved myself long ago.

Level 50 Bardic Time-Mage; of the Furious Heart

STR.55  DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65

"Well...in the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't.

You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair...
...But that's the way things are. The choice is yours."

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4 hours ago, ixaera said:

If nothing else, at least I know I can fuckin' do anything

yeah you can. i really hope you get some relief though!

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10 hours ago, Urgan said:

OMG I have had this very same interaction with clients and it is one of life's little pains. AKA why you can't put me client-facing anymore. Not if you value the status quo.

 

This guy. I got into work today and he had responded with some excited thank yous. Yeah you better bro

 

10 hours ago, Urgan said:

YAY small favors. Hopefully your back quiets down so you won't have to make the choice, but if it's that or re-irritation there's only one option!

 

It has been slowly on the up and up today, which is helping my mood some. I was down in the dumps because I couldn't think of a whole lot that was worse than constant 6-7ish level pain WHILE ALSO WORKING (working on urgent tickets at that, not just plain working)

 

I mean, there's certainly worse, but it was hard to think of those things in the moment.

 

8 hours ago, Grumble said:

Helpdesk solidarity.

Bro Code Love GIF - BroCode Bro Love GIFs

 

tenor.gif?itemid=5059950

 

7 hours ago, calanthrophy said:

 

Sounds like it's time to initiate your company's new Work From Toilet program.

 

hahahhaaha omg I read this originally in the bathroom, too

 

8 hours ago, shaar said:

I need you to know I've added Jesus Hornblower Christ into my daily rotation of exasperated expressions and it's VERY FULFILLING

 

Thank you and that is all for now~

 

tenor.gif?itemid=5641626

 

6 hours ago, CourtnieMarie said:

yeah you can. i really hope you get some relief though!

 

4 hours ago, JustCallMeAmber said:

Trademark or t-shirt this, plz.

 

Also hope you feel better!

 

It might already be out there in the world lemme look

 

Welp google failed me. There's always cafe xpress~

 

Today was less "I don't know how I can go another hour feeling this way without somehow dying" and more "ow, blech" which is an improvement even though it's not great. I'm skipping bench tomorrow to give my back like 3 more hours of pain-free position time. Whether I do it on Friday depends on how I feel in 24 hours. I'm taking another cyclo and lying down super early.

 

Thanks for letting me complain about my back issues you guys. I get frustrated because it means programming hiccups. Like, as of now I'm totally unsure if I can squat next week or deadlift next time deadlift is coming up. Like, I might have to just take a light day (go as high as it lets me without issue) and reset or something I have no idea what to do about programming when this happens. I DO have a personal trainer now so I guess I can run that one past him.

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Spoiler

 

Here's a pop song that gets stuck in my  head a lot

 

W3D2 (Tuesday)

 

1. Lift things according to program

Rest

 

2. Eat 90+g protein

86g

Better than I thought I would do, actually. I was stuck in a conference room all day with only the food provided. 

 

3. Eat 2 veggies & a fruit a day

Salad with lunch, that's it.

 

4. Don't go over 

1833/1550  

I stress ate those mini hershey's chocolate krackels. I probably ate half the big bag they brought.

 

5. Don't cut yet, either

I am feeling super fluffy--still true today

 

6. Write 2000 words a week!

No

 

I've already basically told the story of Tuesday, which consisted of waking up and going "oh no"

 

Image result for oh no gif

 

My lumbar is the Kool Aid man

 

So, in THEORY I could be like "hey work I can't move super well and it's in my best interest to maybe be still all day sprinkled with some rehab work" but it's just not good timing at all (I mean, is it ever tho?) so I decided to suffer

 

It went okay considering the pain was at that point where thinking is super difficult, but I THOUGHT and got through the 11 hour day, somehow. Not quite Frodo throwing One Ring into the Mt Doom territory but I'm sure I would have told you I was at least Sam Wise feeling sad about his friendship territory yesterday.

 

And that's enough expounding on stupid pain. I complain at length, but now my cyclo is kicking in and I'm gonna go be very still for a long time.

 

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complain away! where else do we get to complain about these things completely un-judged? i hope you start feeling better. i know it's stressful to have your program be out of whack but these things happen so try not to let it get to your mood. you've got enough mood depleting things happening that changing up your lifting program doesn't have to be one of them! lifting should be mood-boosting :D 

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