In space, no one can hear Plazmotic scream

[Plazmotic]

My old log was getting kind of ponderous so I started a new one. This will be a place for me to ramble on about my moods and plans and life-happenings, even if no one is listening.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Drinking lots of tea today, as usual it’s the lemon tea. Tired though; husband came back home last night and was snoring up a storm. *Marge Simpson noise*

 

Have to drop by a friend’s house after work today, I forgot my wedding rings at her place over the weekend. We had a good talk when I was there. I need to start doing more stuff in my life that requires interacting with other people and strangers, I’ve been living in a too-comfortable bubble for years now. Heh, if I just gave the OCR place a chance I’d be able to kill two birds with one stone… exercise AND new people!

 

 

[Plazmotic]

Trying to stay hopeful and positive in the face of life’s relentless tomfoolery. Don’t know what else to say really. I’m just repeating to myself that it’s the hormones messing with my brain, my thoughts aren’t legitimate right now, this will clear up in a week or so.

[Plazmotic]

I had a dream last night that for some reason I took a trip to Korea (I blame @Jlailin LOL). In this dream, I was walking through a shopping mall in Seoul and was approached to take part in a reality show where the participants would be required to sing and dance, and the winner would get their own commercial on TV.

 

I agreed and found myself in a huge room lined with tables, almost a hundred beautiful girls inside. I watched as the coaches demonstrated the choreography and I blanched; I have a great sense of rhythm and style but I’m no good when it comes to following structured sequenced moves. Then the coaches walked us through the songs we would be singing and I blanched again; I have a good voice but the Korean words were incomprehensibly complicated.

 

It’s weird that even in my dreams, I saw the things about myself that make me proud (my ability to casually sing and dance) turned into skills that aren’t good enough to bring me success.

[Plazmotic]

... I just realized I came to work without a lick of eye makeup.

 

DDD:

 

Emergency makeup kit to the rescue! Travel-sized mascara and eyeliner FTW.

[Jlailin]

On 3/6/2018 at 2:58 PM, Plazmotic said:

I had a dream last night that for some reason I took a trip to Korea (I blame @Jlailin LOL). In this dream, I was walking through a shopping mall in Seoul and was approached to take part in a reality show where the participants would be required to sing and dance, and the winner would get their own commercial on TV.

 

I agreed and found myself in a huge room lined with tables, almost a hundred beautiful girls inside. I watched as the coaches demonstrated the choreography and I blanched; I have a great sense of rhythm and style but I’m no good when it comes to following structured sequenced moves. Then the coaches walked us through the songs we would be singing and I blanched again; I have a good voice but the Korean words were incomprehensibly complicated.

 

It’s weird that even in my dreams, I saw the things about myself that make me proud (my ability to casually sing and dance) turned into skills that aren’t good enough to bring me success.

Haha!  I actually had a Korea dream recently too!  (...Although this isn't too surprising since it's been happening weekly ever since I started kpop dance classes xD)  I can't exactly remember what happened to me in this last one other than I kept hearing Gashina, Beat of Angel, Shine We Are, and Atlantis Princess playing on loop.   

 

On 3/7/2018 at 12:16 PM, Plazmotic said:

... I just realized I came to work without a lick of eye makeup.

 

DDD:

 

Emergency makeup kit to the rescue! Travel-sized mascara and eyeliner FTW.

Yay for emergency makeup kits!  ...I used to wear make up to work, and I still do if I wear my contacts instead of glasses (I feel like my eyes look weird without something around them.  However, these days I've become utterly lazy and just shove my glasses on my face and call it good.  xD    

[Plazmotic]

As I mentioned in my challenge thread, it’s been confirmed I’m pregnant again. Right now I’m feeling fuzzy-headed and at times nauseous with cramping and back pain, and I’m like “I FEEL LIKE CRAP THIS IS GREAT!”

[Jlailin]

3 minutes ago, Plazmotic said:

As I mentioned in my challenge thread, it’s been confirmed I’m pregnant again. Right now I’m feeling fuzzy-headed and at times nauseous with cramping and back pain, and I’m like “I FEEL LIKE CRAP THIS IS GREAT!”

Omg, yay!  Congratulations!    I hope you feel less like crap soon and that the baby is healthy and well~!  I've never been pregnant, but my pregnant friend would often suck on candied ginger for the nausea.  She said it helped, but it tasted very gingery, which is alright if you like ginger.  ...but if you don't like ginger, you'll probably hate it.  >_>         

 

...And for some silly reason, I didn't realize that this was your battle log and not your challenge thread.    Gonna go pop over there to catch up.  

[Plazmotic]

8 minutes ago, Jlailin said:

Omg, yay!  Congratulations!    I hope you feel less like crap soon and that the baby is healthy and well~! 

Thank you!

 

This is a brand new daily log so there’s a lot of context from my old thread missing here… basically I’ve been trying to have a baby since Oct. 2015 and was mostly infertile the whole time (I was 35 at the time), punctuated by one miscarriage per year since 2016 (that’s 3 in all). The ups and down have had a major impact on my nutrition and activity levels, obviously.

[Jlailin]

20 minutes ago, Plazmotic said:

Thank you!

 

This is a brand new daily log so there’s a lot of context from my old thread missing here… basically I’ve been trying to have a baby since Oct. 2015 and was mostly infertile the whole time (I was 35 at the time), punctuated by one miscarriage per year since 2016 (that’s 3 in all). The ups and down have had a major impact on my nutrition and activity levels, obviously.

Oh man, you've been on a long journey!  *hug*  I can't imagine the yo-yo of emotions you've been through to get here.  I'm sending all the prayers, well wishes, and hopes that this baby and you make it through this pregnancy happy and healthy! <3     

[Plazmotic]

TMI: talking about pregnancy and lady parts

Spoiler

 

Did my third blood test this morning and I’m anxiously waiting for the results. I’m feeling nauseous which counts as a good thing, but I’m also not as bloated or constipated which could be a bad sign? I DON’T KNOW GUYS. I’m not going to stop unnecessarily freaking out until I get bad news or get to full term successfully.

 

Part of my treatment from the fertility clinic is progesterone pessaries. This means I take wax bullets of progesterone and stick them up my hoohaa every night. Then the wax melts due to body heat and… yeah. My underwear is getting reckt right now. I tried wearing pantyliners but it’s been a week and now my poor lady bits were so chafed and swollen and irritated and I think I might have an infection/cyst now? Bahhhhhh. All I know is that I am SO SORE down there. Thinking of calling my OBGYN and pre-emptively getting the issue fixed; I’ll have to transfer over to her care anyway once the first ultrasound is completed.

 

 

It’s effing cold in the office today, my hands are ice cold.

[Jlailin]

Have you ever tried THINX underwear?  It was designed a replacement for pads/tampons, but I think it would work for your purpose too.  ...Or there's also the diva cups, which you could insert to catch the wax.  

 

And boo on the cyst.  Those are painful and so annoying to deal with.  Hot compresses are amazing.  If you are able to, a hot towel or one of those rice sock heat packs are great at speeding the process along.  Moist heat is what you're looking for.  It's hard to do during the day because of location, so when I had a cyst down there, I just tossed a compress on right before I went to bed.  

 

...I have actually brought finger-less gloves to my office during the winter.  XD  You may look crazy, but at least your hands will be toasty!    

[Plazmotic]

1 hour ago, Jlailin said:

Have you ever tried THINX underwear?  It was designed a replacement for pads/tampons, but I think it would work for your purpose to

My naturopath recommended something similar, a local lady makes cloth pads so I’ve been thinking about ordering them. My body just can’t handle any kind of pads anymore (the first miscarriage wrecked me for life that way).

 

1 hour ago, Jlailin said:

And boo on the cyst.  Those are painful and so annoying to deal with.  Hot compresses are amazing.  If you are able to, a hot towel or one of those rice sock heat packs are great at speeding the process along.  Moist heat is what you're looking for.  It's hard to do during the day because of location, so when I had a cyst down there, I just tossed a compress on right before I went to bed.  

Thank you so much for the advice! My fertility doctor told me to do Epsom salt baths 2x a day but I barely have time to shower at the end of the day, much less time to sit in the tub for 20 minutes a day. A warm compress before bed is much more doable.

[Plazmotic]

I’m having a hard time telling if my nauseous feelings are legit. Half the time I’m like “I can’t tell if I’m nauseous or hungry” and other times I wonder if it’s just a psychological bias.

 

More TMI about my lady parts:

Spoiler

The annoying thing about my delicate parts being swollen/chafed by feminine products PLUS also having an inflamed cyst is that the treatment for the two things are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. Like, for the swelling I need a cold compress and maybe some OTC hydrocortisone, but the cyst requires a warm compress and maybe medical intervention. Feeling better today than yesterday though, at least I can walk.

 

Yesterday I told my boss and HR about my new job, but I haven’t given them a formal letter because I’m waiting for the conditions (reference checks) to clear at my new place first. But now I’m in the weird spot where the knowledge is out there but none of my coworkers know and it feels slightly deceitful. I’ve never left a company like this before, HOW DO?

[Plazmotic]

SO!

 

I’ve decided that I’m not going to do a the next challenge but I’ve got a few rituals I want to firm up before I get back into challenges:

 

1.       Continue my Intermittent Fasting (10am to 8pm)**

2.       Continue eating 1 freggie with every meal.

3.       No drinking pop or juice during weekdays.

4.       Nightly flossing before bed. (shoutout to @MaD MaLKaV let’s do this!)

 

** I’m early enough in my pregnancy that this shouldn’t be an issue, but I will throw this out the window the moment a medical professional tells me to.

 

BONUS GOAL – I should have word this week that the condition of my job offer have been completed, once that’s through I have to go back to using my Tuesdays and Thursdays for 1) writing my novel, and 2) working on the online web development course I signed up for. This will be tougher to complete once I start my new job though, so we'll see where the chips fall after that.

[Jlailin]

3 hours ago, Plazmotic said:

the treatment for the two things are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

...oh wow, of course they are.  >_<  Umm... can you maybe take ibuprofen for the swelling instead?  I have no idea if you can take that during pregnancy though.  ...There's also anti chafe cream that might help with stopping that part of the problem from getting worse.  I hope you find a method to be able to treat both things!

 

3 hours ago, Plazmotic said:

I’m having a hard time telling if my nauseous feelings are legit. Half the time I’m like “I can’t tell if I’m nauseous or hungry” and other times I wonder if it’s just a psychological bias.

When I've been sick and nauseous before, my mother would make me nibble on crackers even if I insisted I wasn't hungry--turned she was always right and I just needed to nibble food slowly.  Crackers, plain white rice, and dry toast have always been good for me reduce my nausea and/or fill my stomach.

 

1 hour ago, Plazmotic said:

SO!

 

I’ve decided that I’m not going to do a the next challenge but I’ve got a few rituals I want to firm up before I get back into challenges:

 

1.       Continue my Intermittent Fasting (10am to 8pm)**

2.       Continue eating 1 freggie with every meal.

3.       No drinking pop or juice during weekdays.

4.       Nightly flossing before bed. (shoutout to @MaD MaLKaV let’s do this!)

 

** I’m early enough in my pregnancy that this shouldn’t be an issue, but I will throw this out the window the moment a medical professional tells me to.

 

BONUS GOAL – I should have word this week that the condition of my job offer have been completed, once that’s through I have to go back to using my Tuesdays and Thursdays for 1) writing my novel, and 2) working on the online web development course I signed up for. This will be tougher to complete once I start my new job though, so we'll see where the chips fall after that.

Sounds like great goals!  When you continue to build habits until they feel natural always feels like such an accomplishment--like you look at your life and wonder how you did it any other way before.  Best of luck!   

 

 

[Plazmotic]

4 minutes ago, Jlailin said:

I hope you find a method to be able to treat both things!

Wearing comfy leggings instead of dress pants to work has done wonders within only 12 hours. To quote Homer Simpson: “DON’T YOU HATE PANTS?” Yes, yes I do.  

 

6 minutes ago, Jlailin said:

Crackers, plain white rice, and dry toast have always been good for me reduce my nausea and/or fill my stomach.

I’m finding that eating any kind of meal will make me feel a lot better, it’s my pre-lunch empty stomach that gives me the most problems. I just had a hearty bowl of homecooked Indianized ramen (i.e. plain ramen noodles cooked with cauliflower, broccoli, and garam masala instead of MSG) and it’s made a huge difference, feeling more settled now.

 

11 minutes ago, Jlailin said:

When you continue to build habits until they feel natural always feels like such an accomplishment--like you look at your life and wonder how you did it any other way before. 

I love this too! I ought to go back and see what good habits I’ve developed since I started here at NF. Two big ones that come to mind are intermittent fasting and limiting my coffee intake/contents.

[Plazmotic]

Yesterday: completed 3 out of 4 items. Missed out on flossing because I kinda forgot that it was a ritual I'm trying to implement. Tonight, I begin!

 

The clinic said everything was okay on Monday but since then I’ve been feeling not as crappy internally… like, my boobs hurt less and my moods are stable and cramps aren’t too bad. Even with the nausea I’m dubious as to whether everything is working out okay in there.

 

In any case, I need to get serious about doing sitz baths at least daily like all of my doctors have been telling me. I start tonight, like with my flossing ritual. That should hopefully clear up the cyst, HOPEFULLY. If I don’t see results by Saturday night, I’m escalating the problem. Daily pain is no way to live.

[Plazmotic]

Yesterday:

 

Intermittent Fasting 10am to 8pm - DONE

1 freggie with every meal - DONE (Lunch was leftover homemade kung pao chicken, dinner was chili seasoned chicken breast with mango chipotle vegetables)

No drinking pop or juice during weekdays - DONE

Nightly flossing before bed - INCOMPLETE (At least I got a sitz bath in before going to bed, but doing that distracted me from my flossing plan woooops.)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I was having a discussion with my family last night about nutrition and eating right. My mom had mentioned that research now says red meat is bad, bottled water contains microplastics, etc. and I replied that worrying about what food will hurt you is mostly a waste of time because opinions change every few years anyway, just eat what you like and live your life. My brother replied “no, we all eat badly and need to improve our habits” and my sister added “yeah, counting calories is super helpful in managing your what you eat”.

 

So part of me is like YOU HEALTH FREAKS ARE SO JUDGEY, and the other part of me knows that I’ve strayed from the eating patterns my family taught me because I’ve become influenced by my in-laws (but especially my husband) into eating things I know I shouldn’t, like chips and bacon. When it comes to food and exercise, my husband is not going to lift me up to be the best that I can be, he’d rather I come wallow in the mud with him.

 

BUT. Speaking of wallowing in the mud, I managed to talk my husband into going on an afternoon walk with me when he came home from work.

 

Him: “But it’s cold outside!”

Me: “You can wear your winter coat.”

Him: “But I’m hungry!”

Me: “We can walk to the grocery store and pick out a snack.”

Him: “But I’m hungry nowwwww.”

Me: “Then go eat some fruit and nuts before we go.”

Him: “Fiiiine.”

 

It was definitely still kinda too cold to go for a walk, he was right about that.

[Plazmotic]

Was worried all morning yesterday that I felt pretty great, then in the afternoon the nausea came roaring back and reassured me. Also reminded myself that nausea isn’t always supposed to be so prevalent this early, it’s more a week’s 6-9 issue. Trying not to sweat things too much, I’ll reserve my worrying for blood test and ultrasound days or something, all other days are stress-free zones!

 

Yesterday I was trying to pinpoint what this mild morning sickness reminds me of and then I figured it out. When I was a kid I’d take these long road trips with my family. Near the end I’d be hungry but out of snacks, I’d tried reading in the car but that gave me motion-sickness, and I’d just feel kind of suffocated and weary. That’s what morning sickness feels like, LOL… trapped in a car with motion-sickness and no snacks.

 

Today I am feeling far more ill than the day before, crampy with mild nausea and hunger. Plus for some reason my right ankle, hip, and knee are achy, like there’s a storm a’comin’ and I can feel it in my bones.  

[Plazmotic]

Yesterday:

 

Intermittent Fasting 10am to 8pm - DONE (Actually we had dinner at 6pm and didn't eat anything else after that because it was heavy Afghani food)

1 freggie with every meal - DONE 

No drinking pop or juice during weekdays - DONE

Nightly flossing before bed - DONE (Both flossing and brushing got done. Was too exhausted for a sitz bath tho.)

[Plazmotic]

Tomorrow I am going to the nerdiest of nerd events: Comicon! Not going to cosplay, instead I will just wear my Superman t-shirt. My husband and brother are coming with me. Note to self: withdraw cash tonight so that I can go nuts at Artists’ Alley. After Comicon, we’re going out for dinner/drinks to celebrate St. Patty’s. I will have to come up with some kind of casual lie to explain to my brother why I won’t be drinking.

 

Other things that have to get done once Friyay arrives:

-          Set up appointment with our accountant to submit taxes

-          Laundry

-          Watch more Jessica Jones

[Plazmotic]

General weekend update:

 

Friday - IF completed, only had freggies with lunch, forgot to floss

Saturday - IF missed, freggies with every meal, flossed

Sunday - IF missed, freggies with every meal, flossed

 

Points of note:

 

1. Friday night we watched Theory of Everything in commemoration of Stephen Hawking. Really good movie, I like that it portrayed that Hawking was brilliant but also a cheeky little shit.

 

2. Saturday went to Comic Con! So many cool costumes to be seen, also saw one of my buddies who was dressed as Red X from Teen Titans. In the evening we went out for dinner and I had the most delicious cauliflower & sunchoke soup, mmm.

 

3. Puttered around on Sunday, I was mostly inside and it was nice to have a day where I barely wore shoes LOL. Had another blood test and the results were hella encouraging, my HCG levels are robust still!

[Plazmotic]

And now, the weather yesterday’s results:

 

Intermittent Fasting – ummmm, I think that I may have to throw this out the window due to my progressing morning sickness. An empty stomach makes me hella nauseous, so I’ve begun nibbling on small bites outside my prescribed window. Hopefully once the MS eases off I can go back to proper IF.

Freggies – Salad with lunch and a banana with dinner.

Flossing – Didn’t get to it, but brushed my teeth at least?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Grrrr, I have a cold. I’m not surprised honestly, just annoyed. It’s due to the a combination of “went to convention on the weekend where all the germs are” + “pregnancy supresses your immune system” unfortunately.

 

Feeling not as nauseous and sore boobed today, but still a little queasiness remains.

 

Accidently drank an extra cup of black tea yesterday, bad Plazmotic! This is bad because I’m not supposed to have too much caffeine in pregnancy, plus black tea in the evening makes it impossible for me to sleep properly at night… which is exactly what happened.

 

Tired. Cranky. Waiting for the work day to end so that I can go shopping for new boots and Tylenol.

[Jlailin]

2 hours ago, Plazmotic said:

Grrrr, I have a cold. I’m not surprised honestly, just annoyed. It’s due to the a combination of “went to convention on the weekend where all the germs are” + “pregnancy supresses your immune system” unfortunately.

Noooo!  Don't get sick too!  *chases all the sick germs away*  I hope you get well soon~!

 

2 hours ago, Plazmotic said:

Accidently drank an extra cup of black tea yesterday, bad Plazmotic! This is bad because I’m not supposed to have too much caffeine in pregnancy, plus black tea in the evening makes it impossible for me to sleep properly at night… which is exactly what happened.

I hate when I do this too.  I've got a rule that I'm not allowed any caffeinated beverages past noon unless I'm deliberately trying to stay up late.  All my afternoon teas are herbal.  ...but sometimes I just crave the taste of coffee or earl grey, and then I regret my decisions all evenings as I count the leaf shadows on my ceiling.   

 

2 hours ago, Plazmotic said:

Tired. Cranky. Waiting for the work day to end so that I can go shopping for new boots and Tylenol.

New boots!  Shopping will hopefully make you feel better!  ...The tylenol should too.  XD  Hope you feel better soon!   

[Plazmotic]

13 minutes ago, Jlailin said:

New boots!  Shopping will hopefully make you feel better!

I hope so, I need these new boots asap! I put my boots on at the end of the day yesterday and the heel straight up cracked open like a walnut.