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Butternut

Butternut breaks out of the frost

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8 hours ago, Butternut said:

 

Thank you.. I wrote a really long post, but I just deleted it..  It felt good to get it all in front of me and I know what the right thing to do is.  I'm going to discuss it with my boss and hear his opinion.

 

But I must say, I think it's funny what people dont see they are the cause of the "Drama" and they "Don't have time for drama"

 

 

I may have done this a time or two (or 30). Sometimes its just good to get it out there for the universe to know your thoughts, and then keep them private.

 

Fully agree on the second part.

 

I may of used the Monkeys a few times. We tend to say SEP - Someone else's problem.
 

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18 hours ago, shoobie said:

OMG! I so need to copy you on the clean counter for the next challenge... It's a nightmare!!! Seriously!!! So ashamed of it! LOL

 

Letting go is never easy. Breathe... count to 10 (or 100)... Repeat after me: It is what it is.... and if all that fails...

 

Image result for not my circus not my monkeys meme

 

 

 

My new morning mantra

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Man...

 

today was reallllllly long.

 

I came home and laid on the couch..

 

my husband got me Girl Scout cookies... I haven’t had those in at least 8years.

 

so I woke up and ate 6 cookies...

and some left over chips from my sons D&D campaign, and two left over baked cabbage pork egg rolls..

 

one thing I really miss about being sugar free is how wide awake I was. But I’m just trying to find balance and being ok with my weight and who I am and what I eat.

 

ive always been a stress eater but also a stress eater who stresses what I eat! Does that make sense?

 

Im just allowing myself to have days like this. Who cares? How has society gotten us so stressed about what, when, and how we eat?

 

Anyways! 

 

Our bike tour is coming up in 12 weeks! I may have to switch some goals around because I need to start training!

 

72 miles baby! OOOW!

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1 hour ago, Butternut said:

Im just allowing myself to have days like this. Who cares? How has society gotten us so stressed about what, when, and how we eat?

 

1

I dunno. There's probably a nice historical fact that defined what we eat and the main meal and all of that. Last time I was here, I dunno what I was able to do that I kinda freed myself from all that... I was seeing food as nutrients and I wasn't following the Brazilian way of things (here lunch is the main meal -- and there's always rice and beans) I ate what I felt like and not necessarily a whole meal... I tried to keep it healthy and fresh, but that was about it -- Like instead of eating rice, beans, veggies and some sort of meat, I'd eat just the meat... or just the veggies.... depending on what I felt like eating. I wanna get back into that mindset. 

 

Being sugar free can make you feel tired for the first few days, but after a while, your body will adjust. 

 

You are doing great!!!! *hugs*

 

 

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ive always been a stress eater but also a stress eater who stresses what I eat! Does that make sense?


Yes! You expressed my unknown behaviour!

I am a firm believer that there is a 'right' amount of sugar and eating cookies when you are low energy is good if it doesn't become a daily habit (as it was becoming for me). So cookies and other stuff yesterday is good! But not if it is also today, tomorrow, always :)
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12 hours ago, Butternut said:

one thing I really miss about being sugar free is how wide awake I was. But I’m just trying to find balance and being ok with my weight and who I am and what I eat.
 

 Supposedly, this will pass. I say supposedly, since I have no idea, but that is what I heard. Your body is basically detoxing and it will take a bit, but once you get on the other side, it should feel better. And who knows, maybe I will try that next challenge.

I think admitting your tired is okay. Especially while your changing how you do things. I do wonder about how society has changed not only the when, how and what we eat, but the when, where. how and what we have to do all the time. Kids need to be in things to "grow"  (which is true for one of mine, but still) we became the culture of the busy, where we don't know what to do if we aren't running ourselves nuts. I say that, being just as guilty as the next. The question is, how do we change that mindset?

 

Sorry, I wandered off. I am back now.

I think your doing great Although I do understand this point way too well

 

12 hours ago, Butternut said:

ive always been a stress eater but also a stress eater who stresses what I eat! Does that make sense?

 

I just ot just be a stress eater. Now I do both which is so not helpful when there is some anxiety thrown in as well. Just keep trying and hopefully things will calm down soon.

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On 20.3.2018 at 11:58 PM, Butternut said:

ive always been a stress eater but also a stress eater who stresses what I eat! Does that make sense?

 

Im just allowing myself to have days like this. Who cares? How has society gotten us so stressed about what, when, and how we eat?

 

An absolutely sensible observation and one most would walk away from.

This is exactly why it's so hard to change our way of handling those moments, the picture of how we should be is just too vivid.

Allowing your self a break is a good thing, today is a new today and a new chance to act differently.

 

Sounds like you got a fine fleacircus on your agenda but you'll get your boss and coworkers in line!

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On 3/21/2018 at 7:25 AM, Bean Sidhe said:

 Supposedly, this will pass. I say supposedly, since I have no idea, but that is what I heard. Your body is basically detoxing and it will take a bit, but once you get on the other side, it should feel better. And who knows, maybe I will try that next challenge.

I think admitting your tired is okay. Especially while your changing how you do things. I do wonder about how society has changed not only the when, how and what we eat, but the when, where. how and what we have to do all the time. Kids need to be in things to "grow"  (which is true for one of mine, but still) we became the culture of the busy, where we don't know what to do if we aren't running ourselves nuts. I say that, being just as guilty as the next. The question is, how do we change that mindset?

 

Sorry, I wandered off. I am back now.

I think your doing great Although I do understand this point way too well

 

 

I just ot just be a stress eater. Now I do both which is so not helpful when there is some anxiety thrown in as well. Just keep trying and hopefully things will calm down soon.

 

I feel ya Bean!  Don’t be sorry for wandering off! We’re loving mothers that want our kids to have a better life. I was telling Mr. Butternut when we were debating the kids sports. I said I want to have control and show our kids that we do have control. 

 

It is so very hard to be out of the norm. What’s hard is knowing your kids might suffer as well because of your decision.

 

All of my sons friends are in sports so he has no one to hang out with after school or on Saturday’s because their all at sports events! 

 

But whos also there? Stressed out parents.

 

String Bean is 13 now, hes going to be gone in 5 years. I’m taking this time to prove to my kids that not being part of the norm is a sacrifice but sacrifice is worth it for the greater good.

 

The greater good is my kids are going to be able to be kids! We’re going to garden, be outside, finish making our board game, go on day trips together, stay up with a fire in our back yard, etc etc.. A Simple life. That’s what kids need and it’s up to us parents to give it to them.

 

its terrible our society has made us feel like it’s not possible. Our society makes us shame ourselves when we’re not crazy busy. That our kids need to be in gymnastics, soccer, baseball, etc. Oh and work 40-50 hours a week so you can afford the sport equipment and traveling time!!!!

 

Now I’m wandering off....

 

 

5 hours ago, Casbin said:

 

An absolutely sensible observation and one most would walk away from.

This is exactly why it's so hard to change our way of handling those moments, the picture of how we should be is just too vivid.

Allowing your self a break is a good thing, today is a new today and a new chance to act differently.

 

Sounds like you got a fine fleacircus on your agenda but you'll get your boss and coworkers in line!

 

Lol!!! Flea circus, I love it!

 

i like that, a “vivid” it’s so very true. And I can’t keep up with the standard my mind makes me out to be! I’m a human.

 

Yes my agenda is getting there. 

 

I had to let the assistant go. And tonight I’m lettig the other girl involved go.

 

I was going to give the assistant a 2nd chance and I told her what I expected out of her as a manager and she needed to think about it and tell me if she can follow my direction on Wednesday.

 

That night she texted my coworkers saying out landish things and upsetting the team.

 

I had no choice. 

 

It really sucked because I know her life situation, husband lost his job, almost left her, she really wanted to be apart of the company.  But she couldn’t look herself in the mirror and truly see she was causing the trouble.

 

I can’t have someone like that for our positive environment. 

 

She also called up my boss boss telling him lies and made him question me, which is fine because I have the truth.

 

But it’s the mirror fact of what full blown narcissist do. Create suffering and point out everyone’s fault (true or not true) so no one looks at them. 

 

But it eventually it catches up to them and they can’t see it but everyone else can.

 

It’s really sad. I’m really just hurt that I can’t help her. I tried, hoping their was a glimpse of human in her. Guiding her out of situations, giving her expectations of what a manager is, but she went her own route with drama and pain following her.

 

and I’m the bad guy. And I have to fire the innocent girl involved that got wrapped up in this assistance manipulation.

 

I’m having a really weird day. 

 

But life will move on. Sacrifice is worth it for the greater good. 

 

Fear has stopped me in the past and now I know what I did wrong, how I ignored the warning signs of the narcissist, and I didn’t watch my words enough. 

 

The new manager is going to come in and close with me tonight (since now I’m closing all weekend) and I’m training him everyday next week until Sunday!

And the crew won’t have to feel hostility at work anymore. 

 

 

Oh and my weird day too is because tonight was the family dance at Little Squashes school. And now we can’t go because I have to work. 

 

It’ll be alright. She’s a strong cookie and so am I.

 

This will past and become a scar to never forget.

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1 hour ago, Butternut said:

All of my sons friends are in sports so he has no one to hang out with after school or on Saturday’s because their all at sports events! 

 

...

 

The greater good is my kids are going to be able to be kids! We’re going to garden, be outside, finish making our board game, go on day trips together, stay up with a fire in our back yard, etc etc.. A Simple life. That’s what kids need and it’s up to us parents to give it to them.

 

its terrible our society has made us feel like it’s not possible. Our society makes us shame ourselves when we’re not crazy busy. That our kids need to be in gymnastics, soccer, baseball, etc. Oh and work 40-50 hours a week so you can afford the sport equipment and traveling time!!!!

I’ve seen those overscheduled teens and how tired/stressed both they and their parents are. The crux is that they’re treating school like a job; in order to get into a good college or university they need a good “resume” full of skills and experiences that makes them look good on paper.

 

If I have kids, I don’t think I’ll care much how good they look on paper. Who cares about your resume?! I know I don’t. What matters more is laughter and companionship and bonds that last a lifetime.

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1 hour ago, Plazmotic said:

I’ve seen those overscheduled teens and how tired/stressed both they and their parents are. The crux is that they’re treating school like a job; in order to get into a good college or university they need a good “resume” full of skills and experiences that makes them look good on paper.

 

If I have kids, I don’t think I’ll care much how good they look on paper. Who cares about your resume?! I know I don’t. What matters more is laughter and companionship and bonds that last a lifetime.

 

I couldn’t agree more. 

 

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So my next 9 days I’m going to be working, 3 closing then 6 openings.

 

I need something to focus on. 

 

I think I’m going too low carb because I’m craving sugar like mad and I’m overly exhausted.

 

the stress in the last 3 days hasn’t help but somethings up.

 

I don’t want to say “No sugar” yet because I need to just be a human... but should I?

 

I need some advice.

 

i was thinking about my goal to use my BiteSnap that @Tateman is using. And just focus on taking a picture of everything I consume instead of restriction. 

 

But it I also believe in discipline =freedom.

 

im going to stick to my goals now but somethings gotta help me stay motivated during theses next 9 days.

 

Ive been working since Monday so I want to beat this stress.

 

Stress Vs. Butternut 

 

I want to win (and not get sick or find myself at the bottom of a large white chocolate hazelnut breve every day) 

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Sugar is a tough one. It is like caffeine for me, where I still had cravings for a week or so after stopping it. You could try eliminating certain kinds of sugars. Like maybe no processed sugars. Then you can still eat fruits that have natural sugar in them. I know that when I did Whole30, there was no processed sugars I ate, but I still craved sweets. Mostly because I woudl get things like Dates and eat them. On Keto, I haven't had any real sugars, and no fruit really. Some things like tomatoes, but no real sugary fruits. I haven't had as much cravings. Really I don't get that hungry either. Sometimes, if my numbers are off I still do.

 

My wife has a sweet tooth, so I have been lookign into some desserts type items that can be keto friendly. I think after New York, she is going to give it a try too. Though, I worry I will start getting that sweet craving back if I have desserts around that I know I can eat.

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Yesterday’s points 

Counter +6

No clothes +4

 

Didnt go to the gym at all this week. Needed a rest week. I was body exhausted tired, almost flu feeling. 

 

But yestrtday I used my BiteSnap yesterday and I’ve never paid attention to calories but last night before getting home at 11 pm I still needed 700 calories for the day....

 

It made me realize maybe I haven’t been eating enough.

 

I work out hard at the gym, I’m pretty low carb, but I’m thinking I need to rethink how I eat and that’s probably why I had this week of exhaustion. 

 

If im burning 400-600 calories at the gyms, only eating 1000 calories all together... doing that since January, it’s no wonder someone puts pizza or pie I. Front of me I eat the hell out of it!!

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23 hours ago, Butternut said:

 

I feel ya Bean!  Don’t be sorry for wandering off! We’re loving mothers that want our kids to have a better life. I was telling Mr. Butternut when we were debating the kids sports. I said I want to have control and show our kids that we do have control. 

 

It is so very hard to be out of the norm. What’s hard is knowing your kids might suffer as well because of your decision.

 

All of my sons friends are in sports so he has no one to hang out with after school or on Saturday’s because their all at sports events! 

 

But whos also there? Stressed out parents.

 

String Bean is 13 now, hes going to be gone in 5 years. I’m taking this time to prove to my kids that not being part of the norm is a sacrifice but sacrifice is worth it for the greater good.

 

The greater good is my kids are going to be able to be kids! We’re going to garden, be outside, finish making our board game, go on day trips together, stay up with a fire in our back yard, etc etc.. A Simple life. That’s what kids need and it’s up to us parents to give it to them.

 

its terrible our society has made us feel like it’s not possible. Our society makes us shame ourselves when we’re not crazy busy. That our kids need to be in gymnastics, soccer, baseball, etc. Oh and work 40-50 hours a week so you can afford the sport equipment and traveling time!!!!

 

Now I’m wandering off....

 

This I totally understand.

The difference is I am letting Eldest agent do it because honestly, he needs to be around people more. he has 3 years of high school left and he needs to learn to work WITH people, socialize with people which is hard for him. And he never wanted to before, so now he wants to and I am trying to encourage it so he has real friends and learns how to read people. But it does make things more chaotic here so we are balancing that aspect of it.

 

But most families don't have reasons like this, so its  a matter of that whole resume thing. Its all got to look good on paper and then the kids are stressed out juggling everything, the parents are stressed out juggling more, and everyone blinks and the kids are gone. The song Cat's in the cradle is scarily accurate.

Anyway, all we can do is try to do what is best for our kids and hope everything turns out okay. Some days I am not sure I am doing that, but other days, it feels like we are.

On another note

 

Maybe you are just eating too little and that is the problem and the cause of the sugar cravings. Maybe watch for a few days and see what the averages are. If its low, try adding some more calories and see if it helps.

 

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23 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

 

This I totally understand.

The difference is I am letting Eldest agent do it because honestly, he needs to be around people more. he has 3 years of high school left and he needs to learn to work WITH people, socialize with people which is hard for him. And he never wanted to before, so now he wants to and I am trying to encourage it so he has real friends and learns how to read people. But it does make things more chaotic here so we are balancing that aspect of it.

 

But most families don't have reasons like this, so its  a matter of that whole resume thing. Its all got to look good on paper and then the kids are stressed out juggling everything, the parents are stressed out juggling more, and everyone blinks and the kids are gone. The song Cat's in the cradle is scarily accurate.

Anyway, all we can do is try to do what is best for our kids and hope everything turns out okay. Some days I am not sure I am doing that, but other days, it feels like we are.

On another note

 

Maybe you are just eating too little and that is the problem and the cause of the sugar cravings. Maybe watch for a few days and see what the averages are. If its low, try adding some more calories and see if it helps.

 

 

Absouletly!

 

I hope my opinion didn’t offend you! Because I totally agree with putting kids in for their social, working with groups, and how to work with humiliation (losing, not being as good, etc.)

 

I must say I totally believe kids should be involved, its been overly involved I’m talkig about.

 

Our kids are in Ju jitsu and that’s enough right now.

 

String Bean is going into highschool in 2 years and I won’t care what he gets into (we’ll depends) but that stuff is at the school, right after school with games every 1-2 week games.

 

Any way, I just had to say that! 

 

Calories... I’m believing this is the case!

 

im totally stoked because I feel I’m on a break through, so this week I’m going to be able to cut out the sugar smarter 

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Kind of falling off the face of here but in around! Keeping my goals intact but I have a question !

 

Hi!

 

Mr. Butternut and I are training differently every month.

 

In 2 weeks we’re going to do training like we’re training for a MMA fight. (We’re not for real but we’re just doing it for fun)

 

He’s making the workout plan, I’m doing the diet plan.

 

Were both fairly low carb. He does wheat & sugar but I don’t, I’m fairly paleo (accepting beer 2-3 a week and brown rice once in a while) I understand we’ll need carbs and eat lean....

 

But any suggestions or resources? 

 

I know beer may have to go away but I’m ok with it! 

 

Im doing lots of reading and wanted to pick some brains here :)

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On 3/25/2018 at 7:43 AM, Butternut said:

 

Absouletly!

 

I hope my opinion didn’t offend you! Because I totally agree with putting kids in for their social, working with groups, and how to work with humiliation (losing, not being as good, etc.)

 

I must say I totally believe kids should be involved, its been overly involved I’m talkig about.

 

Our kids are in Ju jitsu and that’s enough right now.

 

String Bean is going into highschool in 2 years and I won’t care what he gets into (we’ll depends) but that stuff is at the school, right after school with games every 1-2 week games.

 

Any way, I just had to say that! 

 

Calories... I’m believing this is the case!

 

im totally stoked because I feel I’m on a break through, so this week I’m going to be able to cut out the sugar smarter 

 

Oh man I feel horrible. I never saw this.

no you did not offend me at all. I think we both agree here. My big thing is, Eldest Agent has issues that can only be worked through by putting him in MORE things, which is a pain, but it is helping. But I really look forward to summer when things should calm down some.

 

Anyway, Just wanted to pop in and say hi. I wish I had some ideas about the training nad food. Honestly, I can't do paleo (Nut allergy cuts way too many foods out) so I don't have nay ideas there. I am curious if you have gotten any cool suggestions

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