The Sky Voyager: Away Mission

[SkyGirl]

4 hours ago, MattSkywalker said:

Wow, I love how the goals are set up, and the characters so appropriately associated with them - perfect! You're gonna rock!

 

Thanks Matt!! I found that associating the characters with the goals puts a little additional pressure on me to actually work on them - I love all of the characters so much, and each of them (except maybe Harry Kim) has something about them that I want to emulate; so it's much nicer to think "I'm becoming more like Captain Janeway" or "I'm training hard like Tom Paris works on his Delta Flyer" than simply to think about cranking out pushups or filling out boring paperwork.   

[SkyGirl]

Rocky start to the day ... I stayed up later than I should have last night, partly because I was reading and thinking about some things, but then partly because I was scrambling around the kitchen trying to find a copy of a W-2 to bring to the license branch ... my sister calmly reminded me this morning that I signed up for electronic W-2's a couple of years ago, and that was why I couldn't find any of them.  *facepalm*

 

As a result of that, I woke up with the dog at 8:30AM, but I went back to bed because he had interrupted a sleep cycle and I felt dizzy and groggy ... didn't wake up for good again until after 10:30AM.  *heavy sigh*  Once I got myself fixed up and looking nice because I have an important meeting this afternoon, half my day was gone.

 

BUT. I'm going to pick up from here and jam-pack as much goodness and hard work into what's left of the day as I can. There are still 12 hours and 10 minutes until I have to head for bed. That's a lot of time to do stuff.   

[SkyGirl]

Not going make it to bed before 1AM tonight ... I only have seven stats problems to finish, but each problem can take 15-20 minutes, so it could be a while yet.    I did limit my dairy to only 1 serving today, so there's 1 point, and my liquid calories were at about 190-200 calories (1 cup of coffee and the milk in my cereal), so that's 1 point as well. I walked across campus and back to buy some makeup, but that was happenstance walking, so no points there. I did complete all my prayer dailies on Habitica, which is 1 point. So today's total is:

 

Neelix: 2 points

Chakotay: 1 point

Total: 3 points

 

The license branch was closed today, so I couldn't go get my permit renewed, and therefore couldn't fill out my NASA forms. It's going to be tough trying to squeeze that in between meetings tomorrow, but I only have three more days to complete the forms, and that's making me very nervous. Part of me knows that this is the Lord's will for me and He will work everything out ... but the other part says don't you dare mess this up with your lousy time management skills, Sky.

 

I had a wonderful meeting with my department head today about the internship, btw, and he was so happy and proud of me. He also laid my advisor's fears to rest by assuring her that he will provide whatever financial resources she needs to hire someone to replace me this summer and then fund me when I get back, so hopefully she can quit being so concerned and feel a little supportive for a change.    My department head did say I should still do a thesis, but he encouraged me to take an extra semester to make sure I do a good job on it, so that was a relief as well.

 

I'll try to move more tomorrow. I have an uneasy feeling that my schedule needs a great deal more help than just trying to get up earlier ... but one step at a time, I guess. I'm cursing myself for letting the weekend slip away yet again so I have to do this ridiculous working-into-the-night thing. I'm really sick of this.

 

 

[MattSkywalker]

17 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

 

Thanks Matt!! I found that associating the characters with the goals puts a little additional pressure on me to actually work on them - I love all of the characters so much, and each of them (except maybe Harry Kim) has something about them that I want to emulate; so it's much nicer to think "I'm becoming more like Captain Janeway" or "I'm training hard like Tom Paris works on his Delta Flyer" than simply to think about cranking out pushups or filling out boring paperwork.   

Well, that's brilliant idea! I may really try this in the future.

 

4 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

Part of me knows that this is the Lord's will for me and He will work everything out ... but the other part says don't you dare mess this up with your lousy time management skills, Sky.

Heh, know the feeling. :)) I've come to conclude that both are true - God wants something for us, but we also have to cooperate and do everything we can. Yet, if we screw up trying to do our best, He won't leave us on our own.

 

Btw, I'm also in the "late owl" club, so I know how hard can it be to reverse the habit of staying up late. I've learned it's important to not give up when you see you're failing (or circumstances are against you). That Proverb (24:16) is always helpful to remember: "though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again". No matter how many times you fail, get up and go for it again - even if you fail 30 times and succeed only 5 times, that's better than none, and is a slow but steady progress. Eventually, the number of failures will decrease and successes increase.

[Cheetah]

Congratulations on the internship!  Keeping a busy schedule is hard work, but I know you're up to the challenge.  You can do it!

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

On 3/15/2018 at 11:01 PM, SkyGirl said:

internship at NASA

 

So, I really do know a space cadet???  

 

Congratulations!!!!

[mediaguy99]

Super awesome set of defined goals, and congrats on working at NASA!  That's amazing.  I don't know where you'll be able to practice archery in Maryland but I am sure you can find somewhere.  I know there's lots of SCA folks there so someone MUST know

 

[Charlie_Quinn]

Congratulations on the internship! That's so cool! 

 

On 3/19/2018 at 3:39 PM, SkyGirl said:

I love all of the characters so much, and each of them (except maybe Harry Kim)

 

Haha! No one liked Harry Kim. 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

3 hours ago, Charlie_Quinn said:

Congratulations on the internship! That's so cool! 

 

 

Haha! No one liked Harry Kim. 

Not even Garret Wang liked Harry Kim.

[SkyGirl]

18 hours ago, MattSkywalker said:

Btw, I'm also in the "late owl" club, so I know how hard can it be to reverse the habit of staying up late. I've learned it's important to not give up when you see you're failing (or circumstances are against you). That Proverb (24:16) is always helpful to remember: "though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again". No matter how many times you fail, get up and go for it again - even if you fail 30 times and succeed only 5 times, that's better than none, and is a slow but steady progress. Eventually, the number of failures will decrease and successes increase.

 

You know, this is really encouraging. I let my schedule slide when I moved out of my parents' house almost two years ago, and I keep trying over and over to get up earlier and go to bed earlier; and I just can't seem to get it back on track. Thank you for the encouragement. I'll try again tomorrow!!   

 

15 hours ago, Cheetah said:

Congratulations on the internship!  Keeping a busy schedule is hard work, but I know you're up to the challenge.  You can do it!

 

Thanks, Cheetah, you rock!!   

 

14 hours ago, Chris-Tien Jinn said:

 

So, I really do know a space cadet???  

 

Congratulations!!!!

 

Wellll, not quite, but I'll probably do some writing about space cadets!!    Thank you so much!

 

11 hours ago, mediaguy99 said:

Super awesome set of defined goals, and congrats on working at NASA!  That's amazing.  I don't know where you'll be able to practice archery in Maryland but I am sure you can find somewhere.  I know there's lots of SCA folks there so someone MUST know

 

That'd be super awesome if I could!    Thanks for the congrats! I'm still absorbing the news, but I know it will start to sink in soon!

 

11 hours ago, Charlie_Quinn said:

Congratulations on the internship! That's so cool! 

 

Thanks Charlie!!

 

11 hours ago, Charlie_Quinn said:

Haha! No one liked Harry Kim. 

 

7 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Not even Garret Wang liked Harry Kim.

 

I know, poor Harry ... I don't dis-like him exactly; I just ... don't like him exactly, either. And then I feel bad about that.    His character was shafted by the writers - he wasn't allowed to grow like the others were. Heck, his character even said in an episode that he wasn't being allowed to grow and they still didn't let him grow. That's pretty bad.

[SkyGirl]

Quick summary so I can be in bed by 1AM and get POINTZZZ:

 

- Fail on dairy b/c I had a super spicy dinner and needed to guzzle milk to combat the chili oil

- Therefore, fail on liquid calories

- 2 sets of 15 pushups (mostly knees; I seem to have lost some strength, boo) = +2 Paris

- Journaling session b/c sad emotions = +2 Chakotay

 

Now to sleep!!

 

 

[MattSkywalker]

xD That's understandable (combating the chili oil w/ milk). If you can, maybe you can add some soya milk for those occasions. Good fighting for the sleep!

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

17 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

- Fail on dairy b/c I had a super spicy dinner and needed to guzzle milk to combat the chili oil

Mythbusters did an episode about what cools off chili burns. Milk was the only effective method.

[SkyGirl]

10 hours ago, MattSkywalker said:

xD That's understandable (combating the chili oil w/ milk). If you can, maybe you can add some soya milk for those occasions. Good fighting for the sleep!

 

4 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Mythbusters did an episode about what cools off chili burns. Milk was the only effective method.

 

Ooh, good question, would non-dairy milk actually work to combat the capsacin in the chili oil??  *trots off to research*

[SkyGirl]

I was technically in bed before 1AM last night, but I get basically negative points because my sister and I ended up talking until after 4AM ...  *facepalm*  I was having some saddies about a few things going on and she kindly talked through them with me, and I also had drunk a cup of coffee with dinner, which I completely forgot about. So, I'm exhausted, and will be headed for bed shortly.

 

Today was pretty good despite my being crabby and gritty-eyed all day ... I got my learner's permit renewed and vowed to the apathetic lady behind the desk that this was for the last time; once I got home, I filled out my NASA identity-verification documents, so I only have one set of funding paperwork left to fill out before everything is nailed down for the summer.    I'm so nervous that I could still mess this up somehow even with God's obvious help and work on my behalf, but so far that hasn't happened.

 

I also led my first Bible study this morning! I think I led the conversation a little too forcefully (because I always have so many thoughts and ideas that it's challenging not to just talk for hours about what I see), but I intentionally reined myself in and left spaces for people to ruminate, and overall I think it went well. I would like to get more practice!   

 

My advisor also emailed me today to remind me one last time that I am late with my thesis, and then said that, since her strategy to remind me every time she saw me was clearly not working, she was going to leave me to my own devices and just trust that I would come to her when I needed help.    I think she was being snarky and I was slightly hurt by that, but I'm also relieved that she won't be waving deadlines in my face every time we speak now, hopefully. I told her frankly that I'm late because I'm very tired and burned out and I hate my project, not because I'm unaware of the deadlines. She didn't have much to say about that, but I felt better saying it. 

 

And lastly, I've been struggling with my therapist's encouragement to try to name and experience my feelings without downplaying them, rationalizing them, or trivializing them ... there's a thing happening that I don't really feel like talking about, but basically, I think I should feel a certain way about it, but my emotions quite unexpectedly feel the opposite way. I see that weird contrast but don't quite have the skills to handle it just yet.    The thing she wants me to do is just to acknowledge, "I feel sad," or "I feel angry," or whatever it may be, and not add my usual, "but everything is going to be fine" or "but I know things are the way they should be" or "but I'm sorry because I know I shouldn't feel that way". I'm not quite there yet because I've qualified and judged my own emotions for such a long time - I have gotten to where I catch myself adding the qualifications, but I still can't stop myself from thinking them. I'm so good and encouraging others to accept their own feelings and not be afraid of them, but I still can't quite extend that grace to myself. I'll keep trying and I know I'll grow into it.

 

Tonight's points:

 

Awake before 9AM = +1 Tuvok

(Will be) in bed by 1AM = +1Tuvok

2 servings of dairy = +1 Neelix

All prayer dailies = +1 Chakotay

Renew learner's permit = +5 Janeway

Complete NASA registration = +5 Janeway

 

Totals:

+2 Tuvok

+1 Neelix

+1 Chakotay

+10 Janeway

 

I think even the Captain herself would be pleased with that total.   

 

 

[MattSkywalker]

6 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

I also led my first Bible study this morning! I think I led the conversation a little too forcefully (because I always have so many thoughts and ideas that it's challenging not to just talk for hours about what I see), but I intentionally reined myself in and left spaces for people to ruminate, and overall I think it went well. I would like to get more practice!   

Wow, congrats on doing this! I know from some Bible studies I led that it's tempting to talk and talk about what is exciting to you instead of engaging other people more, but as you said, one gets better with practice. Wish you many more blessed studies!

 

As for the sleep, well, there are some nights when good long conversations are needed, so that's not a big fail.

Btw, for what it's worth, I used soy milk to help with cayenne pepper and chili, and it did help.

[Cheetah]

23 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Milk was the only effective method.

 

Strawberries or apples work for me.  But I'm probably a freak.

 

 

 

You're doing great; keep up the good work!

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

18 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

My advisor also emailed me today to remind me one last time that I am late with my thesis, and then said that, since her strategy to remind me every time she saw me was clearly not working, she was going to leave me to my own devices and just trust that I would come to her when I needed help.    I think she was being snarky and I was slightly hurt by that, but I'm also relieved that she won't be waving deadlines in my face every time we speak now, hopefully. I told her frankly that I'm late because I'm very tired and burned out and I hate my project, not because I'm unaware of the deadlines. She didn't have much to say about that, but I felt better saying it. 

Good for you for speaking up for yourself. The Thesis might be late for this semester but you can get it done at your own pace, on your own time. Even if it takes an extra semester or two, as long as you register for the class you can keep working on it. Sometimes academics forget there's a world outside academia, and it doesn't occur to them people can have priorities other than the ones they think people should have. The fact that you said what you did is a good indicator of the progress you've made in being your own person.

 

18 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

And lastly, I've been struggling with my therapist's encouragement to try to name and experience my feelings without downplaying them, rationalizing them, or trivializing them ... there's a thing happening that I don't really feel like talking about, but basically, I think I should feel a certain way about it, but my emotions quite unexpectedly feel the opposite way. I see that weird contrast but don't quite have the skills to handle it just yet.    The thing she wants me to do is just to acknowledge, "I feel sad," or "I feel angry," or whatever it may be, and not add my usual, "but everything is going to be fine" or "but I know things are the way they should be" or "but I'm sorry because I know I shouldn't feel that way". I'm not quite there yet because I've qualified and judged my own emotions for such a long time - I have gotten to where I catch myself adding the qualifications, but I still can't stop myself from thinking them. I'm so good and encouraging others to accept their own feelings and not be afraid of them, but I still can't quite extend that grace to myself. I'll keep trying and I know I'll grow into it.

You are learning a new skill, and that takes time. You are expecting yourself to go from zero to mastery with no steps in between. The fact that you stop yourself from saying things is PROGRESS, and it's a GOOD THING and a sign you are ON THE RIGHT TRACK. Not thinking them will be a long way down the road. Merely recognizing that those qualifications exist would have been good progress, and now you've enabled your brain mouth filter to stop them. Not thinking them will come with time. Be patient with yourself and give yourself credit for all your hard work. I hope one day you are as proud of yourself as I am of you.

[SkyGirl]

15 hours ago, MattSkywalker said:

Wow, congrats on doing this! I know from some Bible studies I led that it's tempting to talk and talk about what is exciting to you instead of engaging other people more, but as you said, one gets better with practice. Wish you many more blessed studies!

 

As for the sleep, well, there are some nights when good long conversations are needed, so that's not a big fail.

Btw, for what it's worth, I used soy milk to help with cayenne pepper and chili, and it did help.

 

Thanks Matt, you're so encouraging.    And I'm glad to hear that soy milk worked for you - The Internet People, who are of course trustworthy experts on everything, did not give me any clear indication whether almond milk works or not. So at least I have soy milk to fall back on!

 

4 hours ago, Cheetah said:

 

Strawberries or apples work for me.  But I'm probably a freak.

You're doing great; keep up the good work!

 

No no, I read in my brief Internet research last night that there are other foods besides milk (casein) that can help with spicy things ... I don't remember seeing apples or strawberries, but I want to give them both a try!   

 

And thank you - you're doing great too! I love reading about the epicness that is your lift days - they always leave me speechless!!

 

 

 

3 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Good for you for speaking up for yourself. The Thesis might be late for this semester but you can get it done at your own pace, on your own time. Even if it takes an extra semester or two, as long as you register for the class you can keep working on it. Sometimes academics forget there's a world outside academia, and it doesn't occur to them people can have priorities other than the ones they think people should have. The fact that you said what you did is a good indicator of the progress you've made in being your own person.

 

Thanks Tank.    I know well that a lot of the time I could/should have spent on my thesis these last six months has been spent in processing and working on my personal growth and development, and I probably should have tried to find a better balance. But at the same time, all of the lessons I've been learning and skills I've been developing are going to make me a stronger professional and academic as well as a healthier person, so ... it was still good. And she's worried about her ability to fund me and the disappointment that I'm her first student who won't graduate on time - it has nothing to do with my career.

 

3 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

You are learning a new skill, and that takes time. You are expecting yourself to go from zero to mastery with no steps in between. The fact that you stop yourself from saying things is PROGRESS, and it's a GOOD THING and a sign you are ON THE RIGHT TRACK. Not thinking them will be a long way down the road. Merely recognizing that those qualifications exist would have been good progress, and now you've enabled your brain mouth filter to stop them. Not thinking them will come with time. Be patient with yourself and give yourself credit for all your hard work. I hope one day you are as proud of yourself as I am of you.

 

That means SO much to me. Truly. I'm always impatient to get to the mastery stage and I get frustrated with myself for not learning things faster, especially when I can see how the mastery step is supposed to work and just can't do it yet. But these are things I wouldn't have even known to talk about six months ago - allowing myself to feel sad without telling myself whether or not I should feel sad? Believing that God loves me even if I don't do anything for Him (and thereby freeing myself to do things for Him because I want to)? Choosing to apply for an internship I really want without asking for permission? Thinking about myself as a grown woman who is "old enough" for things like makeup that isn't the cheapest on the shelf, or not telling my parents every single thing I do, or being alone with a man I like and having no chaperone? All of these things would have been almost unthinkable not very long ago. It's like I'm cramming ten years' worth of growing up into one year. I'm not sure whether I'm quite proud of myself yet, but I certainly am pleasantly surprised at how I've handled it all without too much damage.

[SkyGirl]

Summary for today:

 

All foods tracked = +1 Neelix

< 200 liquid calories = +1 Neelix

TOTAL: +2 Neelix

 

 

Bedtimes wonky again ... lots of sugar ... accessed the official NASA student portal and found yet another set of paperwork awaiting me, so I'll be earning more points soon.   

 

Planning to get up early tomorrow and go get bagels and coffee for breakfast with my sister. And then write frantically the whole day.

[Cheetah]

5 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

write frantically

 

I do my best writing when I'm moments away from the deadline.  I'm sure you'll do great!

[Vonayen]

On 3/15/2018 at 10:01 PM, SkyGirl said:

All right, guys, it's time for the big announcement.

 

*draws a deep shaky breath*

 

*whispering*

 

I have been offered a science journalism internship at NASA.

 

 

 

YES. IT HAPPENED. IT'S REAL. I am fully funded, I have pressed the scary green "ACCEPT" button, and I am bound for Goddard Space Base in less than three months.

 

 

I don't really know what to think ... it took me two days to accept the offer because its magnitude was so terrifying and I was hit by a wave of oh-my-goodness-someone-please-tell-me-this-is-the-right-decision-I-don't-trust-my-own-judgment-anymore-because-I-have-done-something-so-arrogantly-daring ... but it seems very clear that the Lord has opened all the doors (funding, family and friend support, enthusiastic welcomes from the folks at NASA and congratulations from the funding board), and this is such a freakishly once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that even my anxiety couldn't stop me from accepting.   

 

I'm scared, I'm shocked, I'm in awe - and somewhere underneath all that, I think I'm happy?? I'm feeling a bit numb at the moment ...    It's going to be so much amazing that I can barely wrap my head around it right now - writing and photography and multimedia production and interviewing awesome scientists and experiencing three months of living on my own for the first time ever - in the Washington, D.C. metro area, no less!!   

 

So I know for certain that the focuses of this challenge and the next two will be 1) getting my schedule under control and preparing myself for rising early and working 8- or 9- or 10-hour days, 2) preparing my finances to bear the blow of moving to a location whose cost of living is about 200% higher than mine, 3) getting my driver's license ASAP, and 4) reestablishing an exercise routine and losing a little weight before I move. I don't have much more than that right now, but those need to be the primo number-one focus from here on out.

 

Tomorrow I'm going to celebrate with a little bit of ice cream and cookies - not too many, but this is a special occasion!!       

WOW!!!!! Most Impressive.  I really look forward to hearing more about your internship.. It is an awesome opportunity!!! 

[SkyGirl]

5 hours ago, Cheetah said:

I do my best writing when I'm moments away from the deadline.  I'm sure you'll do great!

 

I do too - that's one reason I think I'm going to be a good journalist, since they're always writing under pressure!   

 

So far I have a premise that is wowing even me with its beauty ... but it's going to be a challenge to write it up well in the allotted time. Just going to give it my best!

 

4 hours ago, Vonayen said:

WOW!!!!! Most Impressive.  I really look forward to hearing more about your internship.. It is an awesome opportunity!!! 

 

Thank you Vonayen!! I'm super pumped too!    

[SkyGirl]

Ooh, so much humble today ... one of my friends posted an awesome before-and-after picture on Facebook today (the woman has lost 9 inches in less than three months!!), and when I commented to tell her how amazing she looked, she replied that she has been so inspired by my fitness journey and my determination to "reach my full potential" that she started working out and eating right so she could be like me.

 

Meanwhile, I sit here with a belly full of sesame sticks and having not given myself a truly good workout in more than a week, feeling like:

 

 

 

I'd better get myself back in gear ... I always assumed my IRL friends didn't pay very close attention to my NF conversations or my health and fitness journey, but it seems I was wrong!

 

--------

 

Today's Summary:

 

< 2 servings dairy = +1 Neelix

< 200 liquid calories = +1 Neelix

Journaling session = +2 Chakotay

All prayer dailies on Habitica = +1 Chakotay

Half of next required set of NASA papers = +2.5 Janeway

 

Totals:

+2 Neelix, +3 Chakotay, +2.5 Janeway

[Elastigirl]

That is so nice and wonderful that you inspired your friend. Stop feeling guilty and take the time to realize that you inspired her and that's awesome. And you will keep inspiring her, not by being perfect, but by showing her how you manage your life and continue to move forward.