LadyShello Becomes a Beautiful Butterfly

[Shello]

 

2018 is a year of big change for me and a lot is happening during this challenge.  During the last challenge, my husband and I decided to divorce and I've struggled to stick to my goals.  I need to keep my goals simple since I have so much going on. I also want to continue to make some progress on my 2018 Roadmap so I've got a simpliified goal for each area of my Roadmap. 

 

Weeks 1&2: The Cocoon

For the first two weeks of the challenge, my husband and I are continuing to share the same house.  So far things are amicable but obviously a bit tense.  I am in a space of avoidance and I am OK with that and plan to embrace it.  I will use these two weeks to just exist in my own space, on my own terms, and try to focus on my goals.

 

Weeks 3&4: A Beautiful Butterfly

By week 3 LS should be in the process of moving into his own place.  I'll have the space to emerge from my cocoon, spread my wings, and explore my new reality.  The goals will be the same as the previous 2 weeks but my challenges will be different and I'll have to find my new 'norm' to address them.

 

The Goals

The plan is to keep it simple.  I have a single goal for each area from my Roadmap.  I will not even pretend that I will be able to manage all of them, all the time, all at once.  A day counts as a pass if I accomplish at least 1 of the following goals.

There is no food goal this time around.  In the past, having a weekend on my own with my husband was always a trigger to eat whatever I wanted.  SInce all my time will be on my own I'll need to learn how to handle that trigger. Between that and still trying to not eat my feelings I am anticipating a lot of challenges with food.  But rather than trying to reign them in, I'm just going to allow myself the space to eat what I want but try not to eat like a dickhead. (This starts week 1 - I am spending my week 0 eating like a complete ass)

 

Rangering Goal: Move Daily

We've put our membership at the fancy gym on hold for the time being so deadlifts are not in the cards at the moment.  I still have a strong cardio focus I need to incorporate more strength routines too.  My core is getting really squishy so that will likely be a focus as well.  It doesn't really matter what I do, as long as I do something.  

 

Domestic Rangering Goal: Tidy Home

I've created my own modified version of FlyLady's house cleaning schedule.  I have some daily and weekly cleaning tasks as well as some targeted area tasks that I'll rotate.  This is really a dry run to see how the plan works.  One of the things I like the most about FlyLady's philosophy is not to worry about missed chores.  Each day is a new day, with a new task list.  There is no going back to 'make up' missed chores.  It will all come around again the next day, next week, or the next month.  

 

Relationship Rangering Goal: Strong Mom

This is going to be a rough month for the kids so I need to make sure I am taking care of their mental well being.  I have no idea what this goal should look like but I know it needs to be done.

 

Financial Rangering Goal: A New Budget

So much for the budget I came up based on last year's data.  We are in the process of splitting our finances so I need to pay close attention so that all our money is directly to the right place fairly, the bills the get paid, and I am prepared to pay all my own bills with all my own money by week 3.  

 

 

 

 

 

[deftona]

Following of course You're already a beautiful butterfly in my eyes  

[jonfirestar]

Following to see you fly! 

[Plazmotic]

Of course, following  <3

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Following. Have the kids been told yet?

[Shello]

16 hours ago, deftona said:

Following of course You're already a beautiful butterfly in my eyes  

Aww shucks... Thanks.  But I'll be a brand new beautiful butterfly.

 

14 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

Following to see you fly! 

Thanks! 

 

11 hours ago, Plazmotic said:

Of course, following  <3

Lovely to have you. 

 

7 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Following. Have the kids been told yet?

Not yet.  Qbert is still in Thailand.  Our plan is to tell them shortly after he gets back.  I am looking forward to having it out in the open but I am dreading the conversation. 

[Emerald Eagle]

Following! 

 

[Yasha92]

Following~

I learned the other day that catapillers completely dissolve in their cocoon into a jelly and then from there reform into a butterfly, but the butterfly still remembers being a catapiller once it hatches. Very interesting stuff.


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[Snarkyfishguts]

Following! These are good goals, friend. You got this!

[Sloth the Enduring]

Following for the dissolving into goo.


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[Shello]

On 3/15/2018 at 10:50 PM, EmeraldEagle said:

Following! 

 

Butterflies and puppies!  What a great combination.  

 

On 3/16/2018 at 3:32 PM, Yasha92 said:

Following~

I learned the other day that catapillers completely dissolve in their cocoon into a jelly and then from there reform into a butterfly, but the butterfly still remembers being a catapiller once it hatches. Very interesting stuff.


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How do they know what a butterfly remembers?

 

On 3/18/2018 at 8:14 AM, Snarkyfishguts said:

Following! These are good goals, friend. You got this!

Thanks!  Glad you are here. 

 

On 3/18/2018 at 8:22 AM, Sloth the Enduring said:

Following for the dissolving into goo.


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There will definitely be goo. 

[Shello]

Sunday

My challenge officially starts today.  I used Sunday to prep some food for the week and get ready to get back to work.  I had a lovely vacation but taking care of 3 kids ranging from 1-5 years old, at the beginning of daylight savings time, was more tiring than I expected. 

 

I made some time to do some shopping for myself Sunday too.  I had such a hard time finding trousers but I hit the jackpot and found 3 lovely pairs for work.  I also picked up a few tops and sweaters for work and spent entirely too much money.  But they make me feel fabulous so who am I to say no?   

 

We also decided to tell Peach our news last night.  She has been asking questions and she also saw all the boxes LS had packed up in the basement.  She took it well.  There were some tears but we reassured her that both of us will be around, she still has a family just in 2 homes, and she gets two rooms, etc.  We let her go off and vent with her bestie and then she spent most of the rest of the evening on her own in her room - although that is normal.  I was reading and ready to hit the hay a bit early last night but she came into my room because she couldnt sleep.  We sat in the dark for 2 hours while she processed, asked questions, rambled, etc.  It was good for her to be able to talk openly about it and I'm glad she can come to me.  It was also soul crushing.  But I have faith that she is strong and can work through this.  Plus I have a therapist at the ready.  

 

 

Week 1 Projection

 

Rangering Goal: Move Daily

I ate like a complete ass while on vacation.  I put on essentially the equivalent to my Christmas weight again.  Boo!  I plan to make it to the gym and/or go for a moderate to high intensity walk at least 2x this week and I'll throw in some core and booty work once or twice.  My back is a bit kinked up too so I'd like to get some yoga in to help with that and alleviate stress.  

 

Domestic Rangering Goal: Tidy Home

This week's focus is the bedrooms and upstairs bathrooms.  I'll work on the giving my room and the master bath the once over and delegate some chores to the kids for their rooms and their bathroom.  

 

Relationship Rangering Goal: Strong Mom

The focus this week will be on assessing their moods and being available to talk without pushing them to talk when they are not ready.  

 

Financial Rangering Goal: A New Budget

Girl, stop spending money!  We split finances in a week.  I feel like I have money but until all that is finalized it is hard to prepare a new budget.  I need to stop spending until I know what I have to work with.  I am hereby placing a ban on the purchase of any non essentials and I will report purchases here. 

[Plazmotic]

1 hour ago, LadyShello said:

How do they know what a butterfly remembers?

https://www.wired.com/2008/03/butterflies-rem/

 

Butterflies are amazing little creatures. Too bad I am scared of them.

[thekatisalie]

On 3/14/2018 at 11:19 PM, LadyShello said:

Domestic Rangering Goal: Tidy Home

I've created my own modified version of FlyLady's house cleaning schedule. 

 

Share the thing? Cause... I needs it.

 

Also *HUGE HUGS* you're slaying handling this all. I'm excited to watch you emerge into your butterfly

 

[Shello]

25 minutes ago, therealkat said:

 

Share the thing? Cause... I needs it.

 

Also *HUGE HUGS* you're slaying handling this all. I'm excited to watch you emerge into your butterfly

 

I love that image.  Thanks. 

 

Here is my modified Flylady routine.   There is a daily chore list, a weekly chore list, and then a zone designated for each week/portion of the month.  The weekly blessing chore list should take no more than an hour.  I've jotted down my cleaning list for each zone but my goal is for it to be manageable and not overwhelming.  I'll edit as I go.  There are also bonuses for each zone.  THe Flylady website has a mission for each day of the week (M-F) that are associated to the current zone.  They are small-ish cleaning jobs that don't need to be done all the time so.  I will probably just pick one for each time I work a zone rather than 1 day.  FlyLady has too much time on her hands.  

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I'm glad peach took it well when you told her.

[Shello]

15 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I'm glad peach took it well when you told her.

Me too.  We told Qbert and he seemed to take it even better.  

[Shello]

Monday

It was a busy day as always.  I fully intended to still get some daily movement in but after work, class, and scouts, we still wanted to sit and hear from Qbert about his Thailand trip and then we had to tell him our news.  I was pretty wrecked after all that so I just chilled for what little remained of the evening.  Qbert took the news well, I think.  He masked his response in humor so its really difficult to tell.  He expressed that he hoped he could get more quality time with LS from all this.  I hope he gets it but it also made me feel a little jealous.  

 

Being back in my routine helped with making better food choices, although I didn't prep anything for dinners this week so that left a gaping hole that I needed to fill with a box of Kraft mac and Cheese.  Breakfast was half an english muffin with peanut butter, lunch was my eggs, hashrown, and sausage skillet thing.  For a snack I had some peanut butter-scotch rice krispy bars.  Dinner was most of a box of mac and cheese.  I should have stopped there but after talking with Qbert, I decided to finish my day with a bowl of ice cream for no good reason whatsoever, except ice cream.  

 

I completely spaced on any cleaning chores.  So nothing from the daily list got done.  

[deftona]

I'm really glad Qbert took the news well, I know that was bothering you. I understand you feeling jealous too. Well, I am not sure I do, but I wanted to let you know that whatever you feel right now is ok and completely valid. 

Still here if you need me <3 

[Shello]

Garlic butter skirt steak, corn bread, and roasted asparagus.


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[deftona]

That looks freaking delicious. 

[Shello]

6 hours ago, deftona said:

That looks freaking delicious. 

It freaking was.   

[Shello]

17 hours ago, deftona said:

I'm really glad Qbert took the news well, I know that was bothering you. I understand you feeling jealous too. Well, I am not sure I do, but I wanted to let you know that whatever you feel right now is ok and completely valid. 

Still here if you need me <3 

I think I was just overthinking, as usual.  It was along the lines of why doesn't he want to spend more quality time with me....  

[deftona]

3 minutes ago, LadyShello said:

I think I was just overthinking, as usual.  It was along the lines of why doesn't he want to spend more quality time with me....  

 

Maybe he feels like you're already a solid, steady presence in his life? 

[Shello]

Week 1 Day 2

Move Daily

I struggled to get some activity in.  I did have tohelp LS go through some things for him to pack.  This wasn't high intensity at all but it kept me from sitting and it kept me too busy to get any proper movement in so I'm counting it.  

 

Food was decent-ish yesterday.  Breakfast was half english muffin with PB, lunch was the egg skillet thing, peanut butter-scotch rice krispy bar for a snack.  I was still hungry so I tried an apple I had brought.  It was the worst apple I've ever tried to eat so I threw it out and grabbed some Famous Amos cookies from the snack cart.  Dinner was pictured above and it was amazing.  I did finish off the day with half a container of girl scout lemonade cookies.  My scale is not my friend right now.  

 

Tidy Home

Not only did I neglect any daily chores, but it was Qbert's day to get the dishes done and he flaked on it.  

 

Strong Mom

Nothing I particularly did yesterday but Qbert did talk to LS about our situation a bit yesterday.  He  had been thinking this might happen for a couple of years.  He said we are both more worried about other people instead of ourselves so we didn't see it.  So much for him being the oblivious one.  

 

I also learned my kids conspired to Snapchat stalk us when we started therapy.  We didn't come out and tell them what we were doing and just kept saying we had 'appointments'.  They figured they could determine my location if I logged into Snapchat.  So while I was waiting for one of our sessions, she sent me a snap.  When I checked it, they got my location from snapchat and then googled the place we were at.  My kids are so freaking smart.  

 

A New Budget

I only bought some celery since I forgot on my regular shopping trip.  It was a necessity.