traaki battles the fomo monster.

[traaki]

Last month's theme was NO. Saying no more, noticing opportunities to say no, and removing distractions and input. 

 

The theme I set up for March was "f*ck yeah or no".  I want to do stuff I only feel f*ck yeah about. But, I'm struggling a bit with this philosophy.  a) I have to do boring stuff like go to work.  b) I get tired of "f*ck yeah" all the time. 

 

Instead, I want to focus on mindfulness, processing, and being intentional about what comes into my life. The same as before, but an amped up version of "no". Combat the FOMO. I want to involve myself in experiences that are good enough I want to live them twice, I want to keep being aware of how much I take on, and I want to be a little bit bored. I want more downtime than I know what to do with...it's not my strong suit. 

 

Q1: Salad every day!

Same as last challenge--a salad every work day (4 days a week). Last month was pretty easy but I want some more time to settle into this habit.

 

Q2: Skill practice/flexibility work

Last challenge I wanted to do one session of skill practice/flexibility work per week. This challenge I'd like to do two sessions per week. 

 

Q3: Daily Social Media Check-in

Last challenge I set up some tracking and kept my social media use down during work hours. It was pretty effective, but it didn't touch any social stuff I did on my phone or my home laptop. 

 

I just want to track if I've accessed Twitter or Facebook on any device, each day.  How many days can I go without checking in? I found last challenge that the longer I went without going to Twitter/FB, the less interesting it was to me. And I want to track why I went to social media each time. 

I've also tried to turn off my Google Now feed on my phone...but it isn't working. So I want to track how often I go there.  

 

Q4: Daily Writing

Write every day for 15 minutes. Any kind of writing. The end.

 

I haven't been getting enough sleep so FIRST AND FOREMOST that has to stop. But I'm pretty good at regulating that, so no official quest. 

 

--

 

A few obstacles: 

• My partner's parents are coming to visit for a week
• I'm going to a HUGE HUGE conference the last week of the challenge. It's always crazy intense and exhausting, and as I've gotten more involved in the community, it gets more and more exhausting. I'm already overwhelmed trying to figure out where I'm going to be when. So, I'm going to do a special challenge week like I did last year, adjusted based on what I learned: 

  • Goal 1: Stay hydrated (3 nalgenes per day)

    Goal 2: Lie down on the floor for ten minutes every day. 

    Goal 3: Bring sneakers so you can work out in the swanky hotel gym. 

    Goal 4: Check-in with my conference buddies at least once a day. 

[Manarelle]

I can't find the article, but I read about how the 24-hour news/media thing is actually not informative, it just panders to the lizard brain/ "new, shiny" fix. The first [x number] reports of news, be it in hours, days, or weeks (depending on the size of the story), is usually just speculation. Social media especially is a good way to get partial snippets that just lure you in, so you need to keep reading to get the whole story (and let's face it, it's usually bad/ demoralizing/ negative stories). Once you disengage, you don't have all the little puzzle pieces, so you're less likely to keep following for the next piece that's promising to fill in the whole picture... but doesn't. 

 

Just my two cents: I've set up a google alert for topics/ ideas I really want to follow, and get a weekly digest. That was I skip all the negative click-bait, and usually get a more complete picture by waiting until facts are confirmed. If something worth knowing immediately happens, generally, someone else will alert you to it. Otherwise, you're just missing confusion and negativity. 

 

/puts soapboax away. Anyway. Following. You've got this. 

[traaki]

On 3/16/2018 at 6:04 PM, Manarelle said:

I can't find the article, but I read about how the 24-hour news/media thing is actually not informative, it just panders to the lizard brain/ "new, shiny" fix. The first [x number] reports of news, be it in hours, days, or weeks (depending on the size of the story), is usually just speculation. Social media especially is a good way to get partial snippets that just lure you in, so you need to keep reading to get the whole story (and let's face it, it's usually bad/ demoralizing/ negative stories). Once you disengage, you don't have all the little puzzle pieces, so you're less likely to keep following for the next piece that's promising to fill in the whole picture... but doesn't. 

 

Just my two cents: I've set up a google alert for topics/ ideas I really want to follow, and get a weekly digest. That was I skip all the negative click-bait, and usually get a more complete picture by waiting until facts are confirmed. If something worth knowing immediately happens, generally, someone else will alert you to it. Otherwise, you're just missing confusion and negativity. 

 

/puts soapboax away. Anyway. Following. You've got this. 

Thank you for that.  It really resonates with my experience. I've been wanting to find a way to be engaged with the stuff that matters but not the rest of it so maybe I'll try the Google alerts. I'll have to figure out the right topics but that seems do-able. That's basically how I use(d) Google Now on my phone, where it would surface info related to things I've searched for. But it's a never-ending rabbithole of new stuff, and I don't want to mindlessly consume news on that page--it has a real feeling of "If I don't read this now, it might be gone the next time I look!" (FOMO MONSTER) whereas the Google Alerts are all safely tucked in my inbox. 

 

 And it's a good thing to realize/remember how much of this stuff is piecemeal and going to just drag me farther down the hole. 

[RogueLibrarian]

[traaki]

Q1: Salad every day! (3/5)

I got excited about some left-over pad see ew and ate that for lunch, and yesterday we went out for lunch and my sister chose a place that has one thing I LOVE LOVE LOVE on it that's not a salad. But at work I'm doing a good job of having salads available and eating them most of the days. Also getting better at identifying little odds and ends that make the salad more delicious (ooh look at this quinoa stuff, better put that on my salad!).

 

Q2: Skill practice/flexibility work

I haven't done any so far this week. I'm planning to take a dance class tomorrow night which I'm going to count as two sessions because I think it's like 2.5 hours total. 

 

Q3: Daily Social Media Check-in 

KILLING IT.  I've gone to Twitter a few times, but it's always been for a purpose (responding to someone, mostly) and I haven't stayed on to browse.  Even a couple times when I opened a link to a twitter thread of interest, I just closed it without reading.  I haven't been on facebook at all (I got surprise-linked to FB but again just closed out without browsing). Google Now I've had a few habitual flicks to that screen but every time have just flicked right back.  I noticed that if I go on Twitter to respond to someone on my phone, I immediately check Google Now!  TRICKSY.  Most of the top level stuff on GN has been totally uninteresting to me, so that helps. There was one article I was intrigued by but that really was not going to improve my life in any substantial way, and though I had FOMO, I didn't click and, lo, I've lived to see another day!  

 

I've been spending a touch more time on instagram, but not a ton--it feels okay so far. 

 

Q4: Daily Writing (5/5) 

I've been writing every day! Mostly journaling but a bit of creative writing & poetry. I have never in my life been able to figure out a good rhythm for daily writing, it always squiggles around in my schedule. The only reliable time has been right before bed but that can get real wonky with my sleep schedule so I don't love it.

[karinajean]

Hey in for salad challenge!! I have a salad on my desk and I mean to eat it. you know. as part of my afternoon snack.

[RogueLibrarian]

On 3/23/2018 at 2:19 PM, traaki said:

I've been writing every day! Mostly journaling but a bit of creative writing & poetry. I have never in my life been able to figure out a good rhythm for daily writing, it always squiggles around in my schedule. The only reliable time has been right before bed but that can get real wonky with my sleep schedule so I don't love it.

 

Me too. I've been writing over my lunch break most days, but that means I don't get much of a mental break during the workday. I usually spend about 15 minutes watching Youtube videos while I actually eat, and then half an hour or so actually writing.

[traaki]

On 3/26/2018 at 1:17 PM, RogueLibrarian said:

 

Me too. I've been writing over my lunch break most days, but that means I don't get much of a mental break during the workday. I usually spend about 15 minutes watching Youtube videos while I actually eat, and then half an hour or so actually writing.

I've been sprinkling it in in my pomodoro breaks at work (I....don't really take a lunch break which I know is bad etc).  It does get it done but yeah, the mental break thing would be nice.  

 

AND NOW A CHECK-IN. WEEK TWO REPORTING:

 

Q1: Salad every day! (3/5)

Okay, I am still pretty proud of this.  The two days I failed were travel/vacation days and I basically am giving myself a break on those days. Friday I was working remotely from a hotel room but had the foresight to pick up a pre-made salad and STILL HAD SALAD FOR LUNCH LIKE A BOSS. 

 

Today I am back from travelling and had no salad stuff available to me.  I went to the salad bar at the work cafeteria and got a salad--this is a first for me; I always opt for the hot meals because they're often still lots of veggies and lean protein. Basically I got the salad bar today just to prove to myself I could. Sadly, I have no idea how much salad is the right amount and am still starving. Anybody have tips on how to eyeball amount of salad? My first guideline will be to remember this is a Big Ass Salad and try to overestimate. 

 

Q2: Skill practice/flexibility work (1/2)

I did one day of stretching outside my normal workouts. I think I'm just...not super inspired right now. We've had a lot of company and it makes me self-conscious. But I will try to get one in this coming week. 

 

Q3: Daily Social Media Check-in 

I'm now starting to experience the sense of "I don't know what you're talking about" that I used to have when I was less tuned in. I don't like that feeling, but I've learned that it's better to just ask than to fake like I know what people are talking about (what a bad habit I've developed!) Talked to my partner about it and I may start setting aside strictly limited time to a) read the paper or b} read Twitter. I like getting some news from social media because I find things from people who aren't like me. But I never know what I'm going to get and my distrust of algorithmic newsfeeds is growing by the day. So I'm not going to add any new stuff in. Overall I've gotten some HUGE things done that have been languishing for ages (got my taxes done! Submitted a dragon story! Applied to a new job!) and while I can't promise it's because of less social media time, I'm preetttttttty sure it's because of less social media time. 

 

Q4: Daily Writing (5/5) 

As mentioned above, I got a dragon story done and submitted!  I AM SO BAD AT FICTION, Y'ALL.  SO BAD.  It's painful.  But I'm super super proud of myself for getting that story in a place where I could submit it, even though it was kind of embarrassing and bad. I'm just proud of myself for making it happen and not chickening out.

 

I've also been using 4thewords (Thanks, RL!) and it's been compelling so far. I broke a streak on day 4 when a quest needed me to get to day 5 and was SO BEREFT. In a good way. I also just lost my first battle because I shot for a higher word count over a longer time period and well, turns out that's not so good during the work day! Lessons learned. XP gained. 

 

OVERALL: This is my last challenge week before the Giant Conference That Wrecks/Enriches My Life next week, when I'll be doing a whooooole different schedule.  

[@mu]

10 hours ago, traaki said:

Sadly, I have no idea how much salad is the right amount and am still starving. Anybody have tips on how to eyeball amount of salad? My first guideline will be to remember this is a Big Ass Salad and try to overestimate. 

 

It depends what sort of salad it is. The Big Ass sort of salad I do, there is a lot of stuff in it, including some chicken or cheese or eggs, nuts, grains, actual salad, herbs and veggies. With sauce and bread, I get full on a big plate. If it's just salad, I will also definitely starve, even if it's a big one.

 

10 hours ago, traaki said:

I'm just proud of myself for making it happen and not chickening out.

 

It is great to have put it out there! Overcoming the fear of showing where you are at is better than waiting for the great story to come out of the sky. Practice, practice! The key to so many things it seems...

[raptron]

6 hours ago, @mu said:

 

It depends what sort of salad it is. The Big Ass sort of salad I do, there is a lot of stuff in it, including some chicken or cheese or eggs, nuts, grains, actual salad, herbs and veggies. With sauce and bread, I get full on a big plate. If it's just salad, I will also definitely starve, even if it's a big one.

^^^ For sure. You gotta stock up on the non-leaf parts.

 

 

[@mu]

Oops that might have come out as a little gluttonous indeed 

[RogueLibrarian]

22 hours ago, traaki said:

 

STILL HAD SALAD FOR LUNCH LIKE A BOSS. 

 

THERE YA GO give yourself some experience points buddy

 

22 hours ago, traaki said:

Anybody have tips on how to eyeball amount of salad? My first guideline will be to remember this is a Big Ass Salad and try to overestimate. 

 

That is my tactic as well. I think @mu's right about adding stuff -- I usually add a can of chickpeas to mine for a little vegetarian protein, among other stuff. Croutons. Seeds. Crumbly cheese. Whatever.

 

22 hours ago, traaki said:

As mentioned above, I got a dragon story done and submitted!  I AM SO BAD AT FICTION, Y'ALL.  SO BAD.  It's painful.  But I'm super super proud of myself for getting that story in a place where I could submit it, even though it was kind of embarrassing and bad. I'm just proud of myself for making it happen and not chickening out.

 

Be proud of yourself! That's awesome. Do it. You lose nothing by submitting. Congratulations!

 

I have this image, I don't know where I got it from, that the good words are buried under a bunch of crap words. The only way to get to the buried good words is to write out all the crap words that are on top of them. I occasionally find this inspiring and occasionally it fills me with despair.

 

22 hours ago, traaki said:

I've also been using 4thewords (Thanks, RL!) and it's been compelling so far. I broke a streak on day 4 when a quest needed me to get to day 5 and was SO BEREFT. In a good way. I also just lost my first battle because I shot for a higher word count over a longer time period and well, turns out that's not so good during the work day! Lessons learned. XP gained. 

 

It's motivating, right? And when I get mad about losing a battle or something, I go -- hey wait, I just wrote a bunch. It literally does not matter that I didn't beat that pretend monster, because I have a bunch more words on the page.

 

(And you've just reminded me to go export a backup file. I try to remember to do that every day. I remember about twice a week.)

 

22 hours ago, traaki said:

OVERALL: This is my last challenge week before the Giant Conference That Wrecks/Enriches My Life next week, when I'll be doing a whooooole different schedule.  

 

I feel you. I'm glad I have no more conferences on the horizon until fall.

[Manarelle]

On 4/2/2018 at 5:48 PM, traaki said:

Okay, I am still pretty proud of this.  The two days I failed were travel/vacation days and I basically am giving myself a break on those days. Friday I was working remotely from a hotel room but had the foresight to pick up a pre-made salad and STILL HAD SALAD FOR LUNCH LIKE A BOSS. 

 

Seconding everyone above.... hella congrats on this. You are not like a boss.... you are a boss. Keep up the great work.

 

On 4/2/2018 at 5:48 PM, traaki said:

Overall I've gotten some HUGE things done that have been languishing for ages (got my taxes done! Submitted a dragon story! Applied to a new job!) and while I can't promise it's because of less social media time, I'm preetttttttty sure it's because of less social media time. 

 

Also congrats on this, that's a lot of stuff done, even if you try to be own on yourself for the details. Writing, like everything else, is all about practice. You did it, you've got this. Be your amazing self. 

 

Good luck with the conference!

[traaki]

On 4/3/2018 at 7:27 AM, raptron said:

^^^ For sure. You gotta stock up on the non-leaf parts.

 

On 4/3/2018 at 1:16 AM, @mu said:

It depends what sort of salad it is. The Big Ass sort of salad I do, there is a lot of stuff in it, including some chicken or cheese or eggs, nuts, grains, actual salad, herbs and veggies. With sauce and bread, I get full on a big plate. If it's just salad, I will also definitely starve, even if it's a big one.

 

23 hours ago, RogueLibrarian said:

That is my tactic as well. I think @mu's right about adding stuff -- I usually add a can of chickpeas to mine for a little vegetarian protein, among other stuff. Croutons. Seeds. Crumbly cheese. Whatever.

 

Today's big ass salad was much more successful; thank you all for the pointers!  I added even more chicken (though I like the idea of chickpeas....) plus some nuts and crunchy stuff. Also it was enormous.  

 

I will say, I hate talking to people at work about food and today was a perfect example of why:  I come to my desk with an enormous salad and my coworker says, "Look at you being so good!" Then I pull out my bag of jalapeno fritos, which I add very sparingly to my salad, and she says, "Well, sort of defeats the purpose!" And I think, no, it doesn't! The purpose is for this to taste good and power my body! Five fritos does not a disaster make! It just gets so tiresome to have to talk about what I'm eating with people who know almost nothing about my health or my body. In the past I've avoided this kind of daily salad and other healthy diet changes because I hate the random questions about it sooooo muuuuuuuuch.  So I'm really grateful to have you all around as my assassin-y, salad-eating brethren with whom I can talk openly. 

[traaki]

23 hours ago, RogueLibrarian said:

I have this image, I don't know where I got it from, that the good words are buried under a bunch of crap words. The only way to get to the buried good words is to write out all the crap words that are on top of them. I occasionally find this inspiring and occasionally it fills me with despair.

This is what I think as well!!!! Except I think of it as mining endless pounds of utter crap with an occasional gem. I don't know where I got it either but it's motivating when the words are terrible. I wonder why we both think this.

 

ALSO I never even thought about backing up 4TW, thank you so much for pointing that out!

[traaki]

6 hours ago, Manarelle said:

 

Seconding everyone above.... hella congrats on this. You are not like a boss.... you are a boss. Keep up the great work.

[RogueLibrarian]

3 minutes ago, traaki said:

So I'm really grateful to have you all around as my assassin-y, salad-eating brethren with whom I can talk openly. 

 

I'm making my pretty standard big-ass salad for dinner tonight. Lettuce, olives, chickpeas, tomatoes, onion, artichoke hearts, croutons, and whatever dressing is in the fridge (there are about five bottles in the fridge with a half-inch left at the bottom). It's nearly all canned or pre-bagged or whatever, so only the tomatoes and onions need chopping. I may also make an easy spinach/bean/rice thing (put in pan, sautee with some onion, garlic and seasonings) to take for lunches later in the week if I feel like it after doing a load of dishes.

 

1 minute ago, traaki said:

This is what I think as well!!!! Except I think of it as mining endless pounds of utter crap with an occasional gem. I don't know where I got it either but it's motivating when the words are terrible. I wonder why we both think this.

 

I feel sure I heard something like this from a professional writer at some point? But I could definitely not tell you who or when.

 

1 minute ago, traaki said:

ALSO I never even thought about backing up 4TW, thank you so much for pointing that out!

 

There's an Export button and you can save it as a Word file. Warning: My monthly time ended yesterday and for the first time since I've used 4tw, the Export button wasn't there. I was planning to re-up for another month, so it wasn't a big deal, but make sure you do an export when your time's almost up if you're not planning to renew.

[@mu]

11 hours ago, traaki said:

I will say, I hate talking to people at work about food and today was a perfect example of why:  I come to my desk with an enormous salad and my coworker says, "Look at you being so good!" Then I pull out my bag of jalapeno fritos, which I add very sparingly to my salad, and she says, "Well, sort of defeats the purpose!" And I think, no, it doesn't! The purpose is for this to taste good and power my body! Five fritos does not a disaster make! It just gets so tiresome to have to talk about what I'm eating with people who know almost nothing about my health or my body. In the past I've avoided this kind of daily salad and other healthy diet changes because I hate the random questions about it sooooo muuuuuuuuch.  So I'm really grateful to have you all around as my assassin-y, salad-eating brethren with whom I can talk openly. 

 

Ha yes I can get a little annoyed by this sort of comments too. I usually don't reply or I would go for some teasing e.g. "Wow that's a huge serving!" => "Well actually I'm a bit on the lower side today, I'm not training, pity hey". For "Well, sort of defeats the purpose!" , I might say something like "You're right, that's probably too much salad" 
 

[raptron]

If your comment on someone's food isn't "oh that looks good!" or asking for a recipe, don't fucking say it. HOW HARD IS THIS FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND? 

[Ba'sini'on]

It's really annoying when family comments on it. They won't change their habits but that gives them the right to critique how you are eating to lose weight. "You shouldn't be having dressing on your salad at all when you already have cheese sprinkled on it. That's way to many calories." Well look who's the expert on nutrition! At the end of the day, you're the boss and they aren't. 

[traaki]

23 hours ago, RogueLibrarian said:

Lettuce, olives, chickpeas, tomatoes, onion, artichoke hearts, croutons, and whatever dressing is in the fridge

This sounds so good. Definitely trying to expand my "canned things that go on salad" repertoire. I found a can of eggplants and tomatoes with herbs at Trader Joe's that's up next. 

 

Also thank you a million for the 4tw heads-up about the subscription length. 

[RogueLibrarian]

2 minutes ago, traaki said:

This sounds so good. Definitely trying to expand my "canned things that go on salad" repertoire. I found a can of eggplants and tomatoes with herbs at Trader Joe's that's up next. 

 

It was pretty good (and there's leftovers tonight; we had a veg burger with it) EXCEPT I FORGOT MUSHROOMS. I am a mushroom fiend. I put mushrooms on everything. I don't know how this happened.

 

2 minutes ago, traaki said:

Also thank you a million for the 4tw heads-up about the subscription length. 

 

I don't know if that was a glitch, or what. Previously I've been able to export a copy even in read-only mode. 

[traaki]

5 hours ago, raptron said:

If your comment on someone's food isn't "oh that looks good!" or asking for a recipe, don't fucking say it. HOW HARD IS THIS FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND? 

 

5 hours ago, Ba'sini'on said:

It's really annoying when family comments on it. They won't change their habits but that gives them the right to critique how you are eating to lose weight. "You shouldn't be having dressing on your salad at all when you already have cheese sprinkled on it. That's way to many calories." Well look who's the expert on nutrition! At the end of the day, you're the boss and they aren't. 

 

11 hours ago, @mu said:

 

Ha yes I can get a little annoyed by this sort of comments too. I usually don't reply or I would go for some teasing e.g. "Wow that's a huge serving!" => "Well actually I'm a bit on the lower side today, I'm not training, pity hey". For "Well, sort of defeats the purpose!" , I might say something like "You're right, that's probably too much salad" 
 

 

Yes yes and yes, to all of this!   Thank you all for your support.  I might have to try some sassy comebacks, thanks for the idea @mu!

[traaki]

3 minutes ago, RogueLibrarian said:

EXCEPT I FORGOT MUSHROOMS. I am a mushroom fiend. I put mushrooms on everything. I don't know how this happened.

Raw or canned? I discovered how good mushrooms are like five years ago but haven't figured out what to do with them all the time. 

[RogueLibrarian]

16 minutes ago, traaki said:

Raw or canned? I discovered how good mushrooms are like five years ago but haven't figured out what to do with them all the time. 

 

Raw, straight out of the carton.