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The Quest to being an Alpha


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For years, the term “Alpha Male” has been used with some liberty but mostly it carries a negative vibe to it. Many times, when speaking about Alpha Males, is paired with being this macho like controlling and aggressive male who gets all of the women and doesn’t take crap from anyone. This has created a negative feeling of what an Alpha is or could be.

 

First, we should establish from where the term Alpha Male derives from. Is a common way of seeing the behavior of animals (mostly wolves) and how they appear to develop on their own society They have been studies in both side claiming the existence of this hierarchy or that it might not be real at all but, my topic is not to discuss the existence or the relevance of this. In a nutshell, the Alpha exhibits some traits that make them leaders and superior to others for the way they carry themselves in relation to others around them.

 

Now, these traits are most controversial in the way they are portraited in society. For example, Alpha Males are commonly associated with aggressive and controlling people that would step on anyone to achieve their goals. This tends to sum up the concept of an Alpha as a being that takes what he wants when he wants it. The evolution of this mindset always presents itself as a selfish, douchebag, jerk of a person that diminishes others to achieve its “greatness”. I totally understand this concept since, using those characteristics, that’s the image you can conceive. But, I think they might be more than this arrangement of ideas.

 

During my lifetime I have been always seen myself as a shy and introvert person. A guy who lacks the courage to do things and the drive to achieve my goals. The way I look didn’t help either with this image since I felt ashamed of my physical appearance. My social skills were not the best either although I have good friends here and there. Now, all of this amounted to having low self-esteem and a poor image of myself. These traits destroyed my confidence and poured out into my life making some parts harder to achieve because of it.

 

So, the concept Alpha Male can have a bad rep but, I think there’s something about the overall idea that can be used positively.

 

First, I have been developing this lifestyle goal parallel during my entire adult life. Mostly after I got married. I see that in order to be Alpha in any way, you have to remodel the innate traits you have develop for years and transform them into a constructive piece of your life. I believe that the first step is to accept who you are on the inside and what represents you as a being. That step is the foundation to develop the type of person you want to be.

 

Taking all of your traits and characteristics is a task in itself. You need to explore yourself as a whole and identified what makes you who you are. Embracing yourself is the first step to develop the way you want. There’s no “5 steps to…” type of way of doing this. You need to put on the effort to identify who you are. This will be the foundation of what you want to be. It needs to be real and part of you. You are not building a persona, you are building yourself.

 

After finding out who you are, the next step is to embrace the good and point out the bad. Now, we are all different and this step will be inherently individualistic. The bad for me might not be bad for you. There are some traits that are definitely negative but others can vary. You have to identify all of this in order to build a strong foundation of the type of person you are.

 

After the foundation is laid out, you have to learn how to evolve your positive traits so they can produce others. For example, if you get that you are a friendly person, that is a foundation trait. How do I evolve this? Well, having the courage to go and make new friends is a way to grow that friendly trait. That evolution will develop a confidence trait to speak to strangers that could evolve into a self-presentation way of speaking in front of groups of people. The foundation trait will get stronger and evolve into new traits that will model the way you carry yourself.

 

Physical appearance is a part of this. For starters, I believe in a healthy and productive lifestyle. If you are achieving that in the way you are, you are on a good path. Now, in my case, obesity was an obstacle to become who I want it to be. Mind that I didn’t use looking to be “fit” as an excuse to remodel myself. No, being fit is a tool to evolve my traits. Being healthy helped my self-esteem and confidence. It helps to evolve my intelligence to develop the confidence to speak to others. It also helps me to be active and to participate with others and that boost my social skills. For example, my weight loss journey gave me the confidence to dress for a Comicon. The evolved confidence is opening new traits and helping me grow in every way.

 

That’s the way a want to become Alpha. Is not being an overbearing man stepping on others but to grow as a person to excel me among others. For me, that’s what an Alpha is. A person with overflowing confidence. One that can achieve goals by working constantly to them. A being of positive energy that can help others succeed. A proud person that can show what its made of no matter the situation. An Alpha that can present itself as what it really is.

 

This is my Special Quest for my life. At the moment, I have been working towards this and I feel better about myself. I have grown this past 12 years. I became Student Council President at my college in 2010-2011. I got married and I’m a father. I love my job and what I do. I’m proud of being who I am and that’s why I feel like an Alpha. That's my quest.

 

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4 hours ago, Drake Alexander said:

For years, the term “Alpha Male” has been used with some liberty but mostly it carries a negative vibe to it. Many times, when speaking about Alpha Males, is paired with being this macho like controlling and aggressive male who gets all of the women and doesn’t take crap from anyone. This has created a negative feeling of what an Alpha is or could be.

 

 

I find this interesting, because I have primarily heard "Alpha," in reference to either male or female, used with a positive connotation. Though, admittedly, I have always considered myself an "alpha" (you kind of have to when you are the oldest of 8 kids), so maybe that is why I grew up seeing it differently. I mean, yeah, everybody likes an underdog story, but only if the underdog ends up on top (usurping and becoming the "alpha").

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I find this interesting, because I have primarily heard "Alpha," in reference to either male or female, used with a positive connotation. Though, admittedly, I have always considered myself an "alpha" (you kind of have to when you are the oldest of 8 kids), so maybe that is why I grew up seeing it differently. I mean, yeah, everybody likes an underdog story, but only if the underdog ends up on top (usurping and becoming the "alpha").
In my journey I have been learning day by day to assert myself better and become the best version of me (I thinks there's a Youtuber who says that). I did search a little about Alpha's and there's some good reads and bad ones around. My view is that if you can develop yourself to the maximum of your capabilities, then you will achieve Alpha status because your lifestyle will pour confidence and that pride that comes with it, male or female.

I see that in your life, the Alpha has been developing for years in order to be a good guide to your siblings. I see Alpha as a positive too.

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Some excellent points, @Drake Alexander. Also, wolves are awesome, so... :D

 

I agree that the term "alpha," especially as applied to men, tends to dig up images of buff, loud, and pushy guys who thwart their power over everyone else in the room. The sad fact is that these "alpha" males exist, especially in the fitness world. But I know what you're aiming for: more confidence/less ego, more strength/less submissiveness, more courage/less fear. The qualities of a true warrior, humble and quietly strong and capable but not arrogant, loyal and kind but also independent. I observe these qualities in a lot of "alphas" in nature, as well, especially wolves and gorillas.

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