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Depression, or my Sisyphus Challenge

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Close your eyes and imagine for me if you can; you have spent the time, done the research and finally figured out what it is that is wrong with you. At least in part. You have been in more then a rut, you have been in part hell for over a decade. You have search back to when you were happy and full of energy and life and realize that perhaps the depression is linked to your health, that the extra fat and wacky hormones that it creates has been playing havoc on you. You realize that you have to go back to being fit again, otherwise you will not just die young, but will lose the rest of the things you love, that which you have not already lost to the depression.


But fighting it head on is like pushing the boulder up a hill, and I will be damned if my head is going to be hazed by some pill. I have spent so much time researching how to get healthy, but refused to acknowledge my depression. How many times have you tried to fight the battle of the bulge and lost? Imagine trying to do it with a millstone hanging from your neck, but you refuse to acknowledge the damn stone. I am depressed. Yes, I appear jovial and happy most of the time, but that is when I am around people. When I am alone, which is far too often, I am either sleeping or magnetically bound to the chair in front of my computer. Temple of the Dog described my life far too well so many years ago. 


I'm listening to that song now, while I fight the tears welling in my eyes, because the truth hurts so hard, but the specter of my looming failure stabs even deeper. How do I fight this thing that has had me beaten for so long, and while I have so much yet still to lose.


I know now I have to come at it sideways. It's kind of funny, but when you research natural treatments for depression there is a huge overlap for fat loss, HUGE. Sleep better, exercise more, eat right, take these certain supplements. But I'm not trying to lose weight anymore, oh no. That is a symptom, perhaps a cause of my real problem. I am depressed, that is my demon, my monster, my dragon to slay. I am concentrating on treating that, knowing that by doing so, as a consequence my body fat will go down, and I will get healthier again. 


Before I was lost, now I am Sisyphus with a hammer, whacking off part of the boulder, throwing them up the hill, until I can finally reach the top. Pray for me, and ask yourself, do you have to attack it sideways too.

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Agreed with the above comment.


Depression is no joke. There's is a great merit in recognizing it. Now the next step, seek help. It's not a sign of weakness. It is not stupid to get help. You WILL get better. You WILL triumph this battle. the war will be won.


You are not alone. The shieldwall is made brother next to brother.
Push on.

Race: Half-Elf          Class: Warrior-Assassin

Level: 0                     Last Challenge:

STR: x | CON: x | DEX: x | INT: x | WIS: x | CHA: x |

"[I am] the spark that will light the flame of the Rebellion"

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Stay strong! Seek professional help. I have some other things that are dragging me away from my goals, which I also refused to recognize for a long time, but now we're both aware of our boulders and that's the first step. Now let's take the hammers and pound at it untill it's gone. It's gonna be alright.


I wish you all the best. Have strength to confront your demons. I'm truly counting on you and want you to succeed!

Training logs | Monthly updates


Player stats (as of 18.06.2018):

Age: 26 (metabolic age 17)

Weight: 68.4kg (150.8 lbs)

BMI: 22.9

Muscle mass: 56.2kg  (123.9lbs, around 82% of body mass)

Body fat: 14.8%


    - Chest: 84cm (33 inches)

    - Belly: 82.5cm (32.5 inches)

    - Buttocks: 91cm (35.8 inches)

    - Thigh: 52cm (20.5 inches)

    - Bicep: 30cm (11.8 inches)


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