I don't think I can do this, but I am going to try.

[TomtheNomad]

Firstly, reading stories on the introduction forum has humbled me. Stories of how people are in physical pain but are working through it, or how people have emotional pains from difficult past traumas but they are looking for self improvement and get through it. It is very inspiring from my perspective. I really want to share my journey because I want to be held accountable and it seems really exciting to share a journey. But I don't want to go into much detail about my past because it involves my mental health and to some extent the mistakes that I've made. Though that is something I want to work on as well, being more open to myself and others around me. But the fact that people share their stories from around world in this forum is really inspirational, and I hope that it is still active and open to my goals. I read an article on Nerdfitness.com about the book Level Up Your Life and after reading a few chapters I was inspired to write down my goals. Steve Kamb's book is really inspirational, and even though I have yet to finish it his advice that step 2 involves taking action is nagging at me. After all, I don't want to be an underpants gnome! So I thought I would share my super hero story here with fellow (hopefully!) rebels. Okay, here goes...

 

Thomas Taylor was a lost soul. His one hope in the near future was that he was starting his Master's course at university in Molecular Parasitology and Vector Biology at Salford. However, there was much he was unhappy with in his life. Though he had an amazing family, he had lost touch with the other people in his life. He was lazy and lacked self discipline, though he did try to go to the gym three times a week he often failed. He had many ambitions, linked to travel through his future career, creating music and written literature, connecting with people he could truly call friends. Many of his ambitions were linked with one thing, to become the leader of his own destiny. However, he often felt that his past failures and difficulties held him back from becoming the person he wanted to be.

 

Nomad was his alter ego. Nomad didn't cut corners when it came to self discipline. He forged his path through his iron will. Nomad realised the important things in his life and chose to fight for them tooth and nail. He was a leader in Molecular parasitology, due to his sheer commitment to learning important literature. From this, he forged many scientific discoveries that prevented the spread of diseases across the planet. He was a hero to all of the people he visited on his travels across the world, developing scientific discipline. But not only did he help save lives, he made lives happy with his funny nature, his ambient music and his sci fi stories. He had forged a path that had not been walked by anybody else. His strength was world known, for Nomad knew how to train his body and mind equally, testing himself to his limits regularly. People were grateful for his presence, and he was equally grateful for theirs. Nomad understood the value of human relationships and compassion, and even though he had achieved so much he took the time for other things in his life such as love, family and spiritual meditation. He found happiness in even the small things and when life was very difficult, he smiled because he knew that every moment was precious. He also had a long term relationship with a bombshell of a women, that helped a lot.

So I don't know what to do next really, I am like a dog chasing his own tail. I have written down goals but I need to go into detail about them because, and please forgive me, I have challenges that I need help to get over. I am really, really, optimistic that I this is a place that I can sort of touch base regularly or maybe irregularly and  get advice here and there. Basically, I'm looking for a surprise or somebody to say "Hey! I think that you are doing too much" etc.

My first challenge is to find work, so for example I'm recording the hours I have spent improving my cv today or writing a cover letter. Truthfully, I don't know how in detail I need to go on this forum, because in my mind I am thinking that hey, maybe it's a good idea to just keep a journal but the thing that is nagging me as well is all the times I have failed in the past, I look back, and it's because I didn't look for support. And I am putting my heart in this when I wholly say, I am hoping this is the group that I need. Though thinking now, maybe I am placing too much expectation in others. I know! This is something I could put in a journal. Reading the stories of other rebels, where they have come from and what they are doing is really amazing. I don't want to waste all my time goggling at other people, that never really helps, but you need to give to receive. This is not my refined challenge, because of the advice that you should focus on 2 diet, 1 fitness and 1 life changer. I think I might have too many life changers right now, but I could really do with some advice on fitness. Actually, I feel a little sick in my mouth now for how selfish I'm being right now, because I want to support you guys and I just don't know where to go! So from this post I've realised something. I think I will endevour to give as much support to others, and If I fail my own challenge I won't be so upset because supporting others is important.

This is what I plan to do, and I've started to some extent.

Spend 2 hours a day on my novel

Study parasitology 2 hours a day

Produce music 2 hours a day

Improve job prospectus 2 hours a day

Spend 2 hours a day on reading literature that will benefit me

Exercise on alternative days

Intermittent fasting 20 hours a day

Meditate 1 hour a day

Maintain a daily journal of my proactivity

I am going to continue now by attempting a goal on this list, I will read the rest of Level Up Your Life soon! Tomorrow is my training day, I am doing 10 squats, 10 push ups, 10 romanian dead lifts and 10 should weight thingies. But I think I have made an error because I was doing the machines and that was going well. I was doing incremental weights and training my whole body. Now, I don't know how to do incremental weights and I don't think I am getting a full work out, I don't know. I just want to get my training back on track.

Also, the meditation goal I think is a bit much but I am just doing a little each day.

Seriously, I am 24 now and I am at a point in my life where I want to be held accountable for all of the things I want to do. And I think that others are like this too. So I hope my introduction was okay, and I would really appreciate any advice. If you've taken the time to read this then thank you ever so much. I don't think this post needs motivation but I am sure I will need it down the line once I've properly focused and honed in on my challenges and whatever else. Plus, I will try my best to give you guys motivation if you need it. I suppose I could end with a quote, that always makes one seem philosophical and profound. "Courage is grace under pressure" - Ernest Hemingway. Never read any of his work.

Thanks rebels.

 

 

 

 

[Sylvaa]

Welcome to the forums!

 

The cool thing about here is that you can share as much or as little as you want and everyone has a different starting place! So don't feel bad about where your point zero is.  

 

In these here parts we are big on small steps to achieving goals. You've got a lot you want to accomplish - you've got 11 hours worth of to do's listed without exercise, sleep, or other human interaction! A great place to start with fitness is with the Nerd Fitness Body Weight Workout. It'll give you a great starting point with a full body workout. 

 

There are two main ways to get yourself settled into the forums; you can choose to create a running Battle Log or participate in 4-week challenges (or both!). I'd look around and see what would work best for you and start there. Don't get too overwhelmed trying to support everyone else though - this is about you! 

 

Good luck!

[TomtheNomad]

Thank you for welcoming me!

I've been proactive since I made this post. I was looking on the internet for free software plugins that are instruments in a Digital Audio Workstation, I am currently using a trial DAW, and I stumbled across a community that does challenges using free software! This is a brilliant step for me and I can feel a goal formulating somehow but making small goals is the difficult leap for me. Thank  you for talking to me, your advice is really solid and I like the idea that I can share as much or as little as I like. I am in a whirlwind of activity right now. I've already read that article and I've found it really helpful. I will make a note to revisit it and formulate some action from it. I am really on a buzz tonight. I think the key is consistency, and I would definitely like to find some way of using this forum to keep everything manageable. I DEFINITELY want to try the four week challenge, but I will see what the battle log is about. I think it is hard to follow up from my introduction before but I don't know why I feel like I need to prove anything. I want to help as many people as I can, that is just something I have to deal with, in the most light hearted manner possible. I think I should really finish Steve's book soon. Thanks for chatting with me!

[RjMaan]

Welcome. I think nothing in is impossible if you are willing of doing it. So, i would suggest you to stick with you plan and do it.

[djryanash]

So how is the motivation holding up now?  motivation never lasts.  The trick is that once the motivation has gone, you've worked on creating a structure to replace that motivation.  This is the secret sauce that will keep you going in the long run.  You think all those high achievers have motivation every single day?  Forget it!!!  Michael Phelps, Olympic swimmer and winner of 23 gold medals - do you think he was motivated every single day to swim for 5 to 6 hours, 6 days a week?  No way!!!  But he didn't have to rely on motivation.  It was just what he did.  I can give you more info on this if you're interested in getting thing done.

 

Now it’s interesting that YOU said, “I'm looking for a surprise or somebody to say "Hey! I think that you are doing too much" etc”

 

Do YOU feel that you’re doing too much?

 

You seem unsure as to whether you can achieve your goals.  Why is that?  What experiences have yo had in the past that made you think that? Be specific.

 

You said, “This is what I plan to do, and I've started to some extent.”

 

To what extent have you started?

How much time are you spending on your novel each day?

 

How much time are you spending each day studying parasitology?

 

How much time are you spending producing music each day?

 

How much time are you spending improving your job prospectus?

 

How much time do you spend reading everyday?

 

How much intermittent fasting have you done in the past?  Are you doing it regularly now? How long do you usually do it for?

 

How often do you meditate now?  How long for usually?

 

Are you maintaining a daily journal at the moment?  How regularly do you write in it?

 

How much weight training have you done before? You seem to have chosen an unusual combination of exercises.  Why did you choose these?

 

 

Looking forward to hearing back from you.

 

 

[TomtheNomad]

Thank you djryanash,

This was exactly what I needed to hear. Surprisingly, I think I understand exactly what you mean when you talk about having a structure. I use a pomodoro timer to measure each two hours, and I try to be as productive as possible in those two hours. I am by no means where I would like to be, but I am much further than I was a few weeks ago.

 

Do you feel that you're doing too much?

No, I don't think I am doing too much, but I feel that I could be much more efficient with my time.

 

You seem unsure as to whether you can achieve your goals.  Why is that?  What experiences have yo had in the past that made you think that? Be specific.

I don't know really why I don't feel like I can achieve my goals. There is no reason in particular that is stopping me besides the lethargy I feel with the medication that I take. In the past I have often been distracted from my goals by procrastinating. Videos games and youtube videos (usually about video games) take away a lot of my time. When I was more sociable, often meeting with friends and parties were more important than actually doing my work. I have never moved on further than a novice in most things I try and I find that sometimes I give up because I feel that it is more about natural talent than effort.

 

To what extent have you started?

Well I'm glad you asked, I've put in the hours. The past few days I have focused on using my time effectively and I have begun most of the goals I have listed.

 

How much time are you spending on your novel each day?

I have spent a total of 5 hours on my novel in the past 3 days. This has resulted in a new chapter.

 

How much time are you spending each day studying parasitology?

I have spent a total of 4 hours studying parasitology in the past 3 days, I have reviewed nearly one whole chapter.

 

How much time are you spending producing music each day?

I have spent a total of 3 hours producing music, this has been arguably my most challenging task. I am completely new to music production and am trying to invest time into two different DAWs too work out which one is right for me. I have dabbled with making electronic noises but I feel like this is the slowest task.

 

How much time are you spending improving your job prospectus?

I have spent 6 hours improving my job prospectus in the past 3 days, this has accumulated in me rewriting my cv, which I am not happy with, so then I bought a book about writing cvs and cover letters. From doing a brief amount of reading I have learned that I must first decide which job is right for me and also that I can modify my resume better.

 

How much time do you spend reading everyday?

A lot. I haven't kept track of this one, but it is a lot. I'm trying to focus on non fiction, articles and books about self improvement. This is the reason why my other stats are lower than they should be.

 

How much intermittent fasting have you done in the past?  Are you doing it regularly now? How long do you usually do it for?

I have never dieted in my life. It was only recently when I started a new medication that I put on a lot of weight drastically. There is a negative bonus that I have stretch marks on my body now. Since the past 3 days I have committed to intermittent fasting, eating only between 12 and 4. However, today I had an assessment at the gym to build my new program and fortunately my coach has also completed intermittent fasting in the past. He is building a proper diet and exercise program to fit my needs. 

 

How often do you meditate now?  How long for usually?

In the past three days I have meditated twice. This has been for approximately 20 minutes each time. I want to involve some loving kindness mantras that I read about in a book in my meditation, but for now I am just focusing on keeping my mind clear.

 

Are you maintaining a daily journal at the moment?  How regularly do you write in it?

I did for one day, last Wednesday. However, since you sent this message I feel like the questions you have asked I could of kept in a journal which would give me something too look back over what I have done. Now I am going to add these questions to my journal and kick start it. I think keeping a journal is important and I should definitely keep it going.

 

How much weight training have you done before? You seem to have chosen an unusual combination of exercises.  Why did you choose these?

I have done quite a lot of weight training in the past, however, I have completely forgotten my routine! So I chose these exercises based on the beginner gym guide here on nerd fitness. However, I will be receiving a new program on Monday, which I can incorporate the exercises I have already into my new program.

 

Thanks for asking me these questions in depth, I will ask myself similar questions each day to structure my journal. I think it would be even better if I could break down what I've done and place that in my journal because then I could look back at any time and do the same if I wanted to.

 

All the best!

 

Tom.

 

 

 

[TomtheNomad]

Thank you RjMaan,

 

I am sticking to my plan, I need to be willing to do it everyday. Nothing is impossible if you make the effort to achieve your goals.

 

Take care!

 

Tom

[djryanash]

So this is what I was talking about when I said add some structure:

 

https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/motivation-youre-doing-it-wrong/?utm_source=onboard&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=coaching_v_control&utm_term=02_bestof_motivation&inf_contact_key=f17d521a1168f104626c822f7fc189b62eea7ab53b5a5e71d52585e09decc4a1

 

This article sums it up beautifully and shows one exactly what to do when the motivation fades.

 

The motivation will fade.  It always does.

 

I personally think you’re doing too much to start with.  You’ve only been at it for 3 days.

 

My advice would be to commit to just 1 thing for now.  Go though your list of all your activities and circle the 1 thing that is the MOST IMPORTANT to you - be it fitness or parasitology or whatever.

 

Commit to do just that 1 thing every single day for the next 90 days.  Make it just an hour a day - minimum.  Do more if you want, but you have to do 1 hour minimum.

 

Once you’ve done that for the day, do can do whatever you want for the rest of the day.  This is your reward and a very important part of creating a habit loop.

 

After you’ve done 90 days, you can add the next thing you want to do.  Maybe you can increase your first habit by an hour or two or add an hour of a 2nd habit.  Your choice.

 

It takes a lot longer that people think to truly create an ironclad habit.  Try and enjoy the process and reward yourself when you stick to your habits.  Soon you’ll feel weird when you don’t do what you set out to do for the day.

 

Good luck.

 

[TomtheNomad]

Quick update, thank you for responding again, it means a lot. I am exactly like this article, "DAMN YOU MOTIVATION, YOU FLEETING FOX, How dare you abandon me in my time of neeeeeed". I definitely need to build a structured environment, but it is also the fact that I have hit hurdles in my goals. For example, I need to find work, but I don't know if I am moving to a new city in a few months or not. So that destroys my improve job prospectus. Overall, I could be more productive, I still really want to complete these items on my list. I like how you say just do one thing for 90 days, that is brilliant advice. I've got a training schedule for the gym now, so I am looking forward to seeing positive results from that a few months down the line. I need to eliminate distractions from my schedule, that would give me a lot more time to do things productively. I quite like having a list of things that I can choose what to do each day, but I have to commit to doing them. How are your goals going? Do you have one thing that you want to improve daily?

 

Thanks!

[fitnessgurl]

On 5/17/2018 at 11:40 AM, TomtheNomad said:

Quick update, thank you for responding again, it means a lot. I am exactly like this article, "DAMN YOU MOTIVATION, YOU FLEETING FOX, How dare you abandon me in my time of neeeeeed". I definitely need to build a structured environment, but it is also the fact that I have hit hurdles in my goals. For example, I need to find work, but I don't know if I am moving to a new city in a few months or not. So that destroys my improve job prospectus. Overall, I could be more productive, I still really want to complete these items on my list. I like how you say just do one thing for 90 days, that is brilliant advice. I've got a training schedule for the gym now, so I am looking forward to seeing positive results from that a few months down the line. I need to eliminate distractions from my schedule, that would give me a lot more time to do things productively. I quite like having a list of things that I can choose what to do each day, but I have to commit to doing them. How are your goals going? Do you have one thing that you want to improve daily?

 

Thanks!

For the job hurdle you have encountered, change your goal to Researching The Job Market in whatever city to which you may be moving.

 

As for eliminating distractions, I have the following suggestions:

1. If you are on your phone too much, download the Forest app. You can set a timer & grow a tree. If you exit out of the app, the tree will die.

2. If playing games on a video system, pack up the games in a box & put it in a closet. Then if you want to play, you will have to go to the closet, get out the box, etc.

3. If playing games on a computer, download a program that will limit your gaming/online time. I'm sure there's one out there for that purpose.

 

Hope this helps!  

[Theria]

[apologies if I sound too negative or nagging in this point. It's all written in love and support]

 

I'm glad you're making progress in your goals, but I am concerned that you're expecting too much of yourself. As Sylvaa mentioned, you've got 11 hours of goals every day. Once you factor in a healthy 8 hours of sleep, that leaves 5 hours to do your exercise, journaling, meal prep, eating, socializing, and relaxing. Plus travel time to and from the gym, grocery stores, and other errands.

 

It's awesome that you've been meeting your goals, or at least close to it right now, but you're on a motivation high at the moment, and I'm worried you're going to burn out. At that point giving up on everything often feels like the best option, and you want to avoid having to overcome that feeling to keep going, especially when you've burnt through your motivation.

 

You mentioned having (either in the past or now) mental health issues. Have you considered working with a therapist to get through some of the psychological hurdles you are facing? You seem to have an "all or nothing" approach, to the point where even with you putting an insane number of hours in, you still want to be more effective and dedicated. You've also got a lot of nagging doubts, and struggle when faced with "roadblocks." A therapist could help you in those areas. If seeing a therapist in person is out of the questions (either due to time, distance, cost, or discomfort), look into an online service.

 

 

Okay, so now let's see if there's anything positive I can add in here : )

 

 

 

KEEP IT SIMPLE

 

I'd highly recommend paring some of your goals down a bit. I'd bet after an hour of studying, your brain is fried and you're barely taking in what you study after that. Maybe find something that will help you relax and clear your mind to add in there. The same applies to most of your two hour goals. Consider if that's realistic in the long term, and if it's really necessary or beneficial to spend that much time on one task.

 

A good CV is important, but not 2 hours a day for weeks important. Factoring in your current concerns about a possible move, I wouldn't stress about the CV at all right now. When you know what job you really want, the CV will come along far more easily. Instead figure out what career you want, or if finding a job now is crucial financially, just start applying with the CV you have now. Set a goal to apply to X number of jobs per day and see what happens. Worst case scenario is that you're in the same exact situation you're in now.

 

Can you combine tasks? Maybe instead of reading for self-growth every day, listen to audiobooks or podcasts while you work out. If you feel that's not enough time to put in to "reading," then take a 30 minute to 1 hour walk each day and listen then. You'll still get your learning time in, plus moderate exercise, and time outdoors. Listening to podcasts specifically can  trigger feelings of social connection as well. It's not a substitute for actual connection, but it might help boost your mood a bit.

 

 

 

1. Start With the Basics

 

Before you can do anything, you need your basic needs met. You may want to look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and consider that the base of your pyramid is solid, rather than working from the top down : )

 

Do you have a safe, stable place to live? Do you live alone or with others?

 

Are you okay financially, or is finding a job necessary to pay rent and put food on the table right now?

 

Does your physical health inhibit your ability in other areas?

 

 

2. Relationships

 

You mention having an amazing family, but you seem to feel a lack of deep connection with others. You also specifically mention wanting to connect to true friends.

 

Is your amazing family close by? Is there something you can do to connect with them more deeply? Again, keep it simple. Not call 10 people a week, or have a 2 hour intimate conversation every Sunday. But texting 2 or 3 people each week is doable. It may be a one text exchange or you could end up having a full conversation, you never know. Either way the initial task of one text is doable. If you live with or near family, you can try doing a weekly or monthly game night. It may sound cheesy but my family always connects more over a game of Betrayal at House on the Hill, and I've deepened and cemented friendships while playing Cards Against Humanity. If there are younger kids around, even a game of Apples to Apples or Cranium can be awesome.

 

Do you have friends you want to connect back with, or are you looking to make new friends? If it's old friends you want to reconnect with, just send a text saying "Hey, [something you did, saw, read, etc] made me think of you today. We haven't talked in way too long. How are things going?" Be prepared for the fact that some of these people may have moved on and won;t give much of a response, but others may be feeling to same way you are and this could be the start to reconnecting.

 

If you're looking to connect with new people, check out events in your area. Most cities have a lot of free events every weekend. Find something related to your interests, like science, gaming, medication, or exercise and check it out. Make a goal to talk directly to at least 3 new people while your there and see what happens.

 

 

3. Career

 

This seems to be your primary focus right now. Your alter-ego has already established that you goal is to work in Molecular Parasitology. Is this a field you have an undergrad and work experience in? Have you already started your masters? If you really want to focus on this area, start with studying the field and determining what job you want in that field. That will give you a far more specific goal to target.

 

 

 

Whew, that's a lot. I apologize if it's too much. This is my first time trying to really get in here and support others and I may have overdone it : )

 

Bottom line: it's okay to simplify and change your goals as needed; motivation will not last forever; and take time for your physiological and social needs too.

 

[TomtheNomad]

13 hours ago, fitnessgurl said:

For the job hurdle you have encountered, change your goal to Researching The Job Market in whatever city to which you may be moving.

 

As for eliminating distractions, I have the following suggestions:

1. If you are on your phone too much, download the Forest app. You can set a timer & grow a tree. If you exit out of the app, the tree will die.

2. If playing games on a video system, pack up the games in a box & put it in a closet. Then if you want to play, you will have to go to the closet, get out the box, etc.

3. If playing games on a computer, download a program that will limit your gaming/online time. I'm sure there's one out there for that purpose.

 

Hope this helps!  

The Forest App is similar to the brain productivity app I am currently using. I am cutting back on the challenges I have set myself. I have set myself to doing the 4 week challenge, beginning on the 28th of May.

1)Go to the gym three times a week

2) Cut out all junk food

3) Eat every two hours for a maximum of 8 hours a day

4) Study Parasitology for two hours a day

I need to be more realistic with myself with what I can achieve right now. This should be my baseline, and any other things will be like bonus points. As for work, well I don't know whether I should be commuting (an hour each way) once a week and save a lot of money or move to a new city, which is what I really want to do, and have to work a lot of the time to pay for living expenses. Thank you for your advice!

[djryanash]

10 hours ago, TomtheNomad said:

The Forest App is similar to the brain productivity app I am currently using. I am cutting back on the challenges I have set myself. I have set myself to doing the 4 week challenge, beginning on the 28th of May.

1)Go to the gym three times a week

 

2) Cut out all junk food

 

3) Eat every two hours for a maximum of 8 hours a day

 

4) Study Parasitology for two hours a day

 

A few comments:

 

1) Going to the gym three times a week is a great goal.

 

2). Be careful of this all-or-nothing approach.  How about you can eat 1 or 2 "cheat meals" a week?  But use them as a reward.  If you work particularly hard on a specific day, reward yourself with a cheat meal.  BONUS:  It's always best to eat this cheat meal after having a hard workout at the gym - it doesn't set you back as much.

 

3) Why not just eat when you're hungry but make sure it's fantastically nutritious real food - leafy green veggies, high quality protein such as chicken, beef or fish and good quality fats such as olive oil , avocados, coconut oil, etc.  See this for a reference: https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/11-myths-fasting-and-meal-frequency#section10

If you still insist of frequent, smaller meals then I highly recommend making a huge dinner and eating the leftover the following day to keep it convenient.  

4) This sounds like your primary goal.  Stick to this no matter what.  Do this for 90 days and then you can add to it, add something else after that time, etc.

 

10 hours ago, TomtheNomad said:

I need to be more realistic with myself with what I can achieve right now. This should be my baseline, and any other things will be like bonus points. As for work, well I don't know whether I should be commuting (an hour each way) once a week and save a lot of money or move to a new city, which is what I really want to do, and have to work a lot of the time to pay for living expenses. Thank you for your advice!

 

YES!!! EXACTLY!!! This is your baseline.  remember, roadblocks will come up.  There will be days you don't feel like doing it but you'll do it anyway because you're creating a habit here.  There will be days that you'll fail but you will get right back up on that horse and carry or because that's how you roll.

 

All the best.

[TomtheNomad]

Dear Elice,

Thank you for your in depth response. For me motivation is definitely a tricky issue. So I have simplified my goals as I have stated above. Suffice to say, I had a lot more motivation when I initially made my introduction. Hopefully my modified tactic is the right choice. As for a therapist, well, I have never tried therapy but a lot of the self development books that I have read recommend finding a therapist in some cases. So maybe with a bit of time investment, I might find the therapist that is right for me. My doctors currently think that I am bipolar, though the diagnosis is often changing. In my experience, I have found that my mental health has opened doors to be connected with more people, which is awesome. I hope that doesn't sound obnoxious, sorry if it does. I have met people who have been completely debilitated by their mental health issues. I am just glad that is not the case for me. The spectrum is vast when it comes to mental health, it's amazing really, from my undergraduate perspective how the brain functions is truly fascinating to me. Though I do believe my Neuroscience days are over.

 

As for your comments on the two hours goals, spot on! On reflection I don't feel like two hours working on a CV a day is a good target. Like you said, changing that target to x amount of job applications a day could be more beneficial. I think that financing myself is not necessarily a priority but more of a choice, a challenge. I could challenge myself to finance myself and the reward of success would be moving to a big city, where there would be a lot more activities for me to participate in. Now I have to find the time to do this, though it could be manageable, I will try it tomorrow and see how I feel. I will set the target now of 10 job applications. I'll just try for one day and if it works, then I will give it another go. If I don't meet that target well it's not the end of the world.

 

As for connecting with people, I am very socially apathetic when it comes to reaching out to people. Long story short, I want friends who will encourage me to become a better version of myself, that's what Steve recommends in Level Up Your Life. But I want to do it properly, so I am going to be as honest as possible. I feel ridiculous saying this! I am quite embarrassed actually about how lonely I have become. Quite embarrassed indeed. I'm sorry that you had to hear that. Anyway... I think the social goals are down the line and will probably happen naturally as I pursuit my goals. I like your ideas of board games with the family, that is cute. The biggest game with my family is charades, simply because it is the easiest game to set up. We are all too busy to play games most of the time but yes it is good fun to connect. I think connection is really important and your advice is really helpful about connecting with old friends with "Hey, I was doing x and I thought of you". I think I will try that sometime. But I am not setting social goals right now, they seem too out of reach. Maybe this is wrong of me, but I will leave it there. Thank you for letting me know your thoughts on this though.

 

I do already have experience in Molecular Parasitology, I spent a year in industry abroad in the Netherlands and then Kenya studying the malaria parasite, Plasmodium falciparum. This was an amazing experience for me, probably my best experience to date. I had a lot of independence and I felt like I was conquering the world. The reason I am studying a similar course for my masters is that I want to build on this experience. However, I have not thought of looking for a job in this field yet, I think that I could spend some time doing this research. I will try to integrate this into my overall objective, because it would be simpler if I had a job role in mind. The only job role I have in mind now is researcher, but the field, by it's nature is very diverse. I will have to familiarise myself with the vast topics within the field itself. Epidemiology, Molecular studies, Evolutionary theory, Applied Parasitology etc.

 

I hope I have not overshared with you here, I just wanted to give you a proper response and your questions and advice were quite personal. But it has been quite therapeutic to write these thoughts down. My challenge still stands the same.

beginning on the 28th of May.

1)Go to the gym three times a week

 

2) Cut out all junk food

 

3) Eat every two hours for a maximum of 8 hours a day

 

4) Study Parasitology for two hours a day

 

Thank you for your advice and kind words, they have been very helpful. In summary, it's cool to be a nerd. I like Maslow's hierarchy, I used a psychological tool for a while which defined 20 or so key attributes that are essential to happiness and well being, justice, courage, spirituality, fairness, etc. I can't remember what it was called but it had an impact on me.

 

Thanks for keeping it awesome.

 

 

[Theria]

Thanks for the thorough reply and I'm glad you were able to rework some of your goals so they are more manageable for you. I've definitely been there in terms of feeling super motivated and setting overly ambitious goals, then looking back a few days later and thinking there's no way I can do that. In the past that often made me give up so now I'm trying to be realistic and take smaller steps.

 

I'm glad you felt I gave you some good ideas to try out. Even if you don't do them right away, you'll have them when the time is right.

 

Don't feel bad about feeling lonely or wanting to connect with others. That's very much part of human nature. I've got social anxiety so I understand your feelings about certain social goals feeling out of reach. Don't stress about feeling that way.

 

Since you mentioned self development books, you may want to look into What To Say When You Talk to Your Self since you seem to feel many of your thoughts are wrong in some way and you may not even realize how you're talking negatively to yourself ("I hope that doesn't sound obnoxious" "I feel ridiculous saying this! I am quite embarrassed" "I'm sorry that you had to hear that" "Maybe this is wrong of me").

 

Best of luck in the coming weeks. I'll be following : )

[TomtheNomad]

Smaller steps seem to be the key, if I don't feel like doing two hours study then I will just settle for a smaller amount because at least then I get something done. I liked what you said about "I was thinking about you", I even tried it and got in touch with an old friend the other day.

Oh my god, I didn't realise how negative I sounded. That was an eye opener, I will definitely be reading that book. I am always looking for good book recommendations so if you have anymore please let me know! Thanks.

 

P.S. Social anxiety sucks.

[TomtheNomad]

On 5/21/2018 at 4:36 AM, djryanash said:

 

A few comments:

 

1) Going to the gym three times a week is a great goal.

 

2). Be careful of this all-or-nothing approach.  How about you can eat 1 or 2 "cheat meals" a week?  But use them as a reward.  If you work particularly hard on a specific day, reward yourself with a cheat meal.  BONUS:  It's always best to eat this cheat meal after having a hard workout at the gym - it doesn't set you back as much.

 

3) Why not just eat when you're hungry but make sure it's fantastically nutritious real food - leafy green veggies, high quality protein such as chicken, beef or fish and good quality fats such as olive oil , avocados, coconut oil, etc.  See this for a reference: https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/11-myths-fasting-and-meal-frequency#section10

If you still insist of frequent, smaller meals then I highly recommend making a huge dinner and eating the leftover the following day to keep it convenient.  

4) This sounds like your primary goal.  Stick to this no matter what.  Do this for 90 days and then you can add to it, add something else after that time, etc.

 

 

YES!!! EXACTLY!!! This is your baseline.  remember, roadblocks will come up.  There will be days you don't feel like doing it but you'll do it anyway because you're creating a habit here.  There will be days that you'll fail but you will get right back up on that horse and carry or because that's how you roll.

 

All the best.

Hey DJryanash,

Thanks for your input! Always appreciated.

The gym goal is easy because all I have to do is turn up. Getting myself to study for 2 hours is even harder.

That is an interesting theory about cheat meals, I can maybe try to incorporate them into the challenge. What I want to do is more research into intermittent fasting.Talking about food is making me hungry! Of course, I am eating healthily, because I am cutting down on how much I eat, I tend to eat only healthy foods because it is more valuable to me and my eating schedule.

Studying 2 hours is difficult, but I am pretty much trying my best, when I don't feel like studying two hours I might just do half an hour. Oh, and I have two interviews in a city tomorrow, so I have that to worry about. I haven't spent much time worrying about posting my challenges on the 4 week challenge forum but I had a cool idea whilst I was gardening today. I would set up my challenge similar to I Am Legend. I am going to take some time to rewatch that film and then I might come up with a story for my challenge to go with. I thought that was a pretty good idea. Anyway, thanks for your support, it has helped to clarify my goals somewhat. Good luck with your challenges friend.

Best wishes.

[Theria]

@TomtheNomad  How have things been going? How you finalized your new goals? How has it been going with trying to meet them?

[TomtheNomad]

Thanks for asking! Things have not been going as expected. But I can only pick myself up and try again tomorrow! (I've spent a lot of time learning about self talk, I am trying it out, so here's to seeing how things go. Cheers!). At the very least I have targets, which is more than I had a month ago.

[djryanash]

Great.  

On 5/25/2018 at 12:39 AM, TomtheNomad said:

Hey DJryanash,

Thanks for your input! Always appreciated.

The gym goal is easy because all I have to do is turn up. Getting myself to study for 2 hours is even harder.

That is an interesting theory about cheat meals, I can maybe try to incorporate them into the challenge. What I want to do is more research into intermittent fasting.Talking about food is making me hungry! Of course, I am eating healthily, because I am cutting down on how much I eat, I tend to eat only healthy foods because it is more valuable to me and my eating schedule.

Studying 2 hours is difficult, but I am pretty much trying my best, when I don't feel like studying two hours I might just do half an hour. Oh, and I have two interviews in a city tomorrow, so I have that to worry about. I haven't spent much time worrying about posting my challenges on the 4 week challenge forum but I had a cool idea whilst I was gardening today. I would set up my challenge similar to I Am Legend. I am going to take some time to rewatch that film and then I might come up with a story for my challenge to go with. I thought that was a pretty good idea. Anyway, thanks for your support, it has helped to clarify my goals somewhat. Good luck with your challenges friend.

Best wishes.

 

How did it go with the interviews?

 

How much studying are you doing everyday?

 

I think I said before, try and focus just on this for now. Ge t your study hours up to two hours a day - like you originally planned.  Once you can do two hours a day, then you can work on adding another activity to your day.

 

Consistency wins the race.

 

 

[TomtheNomad]

The interviews went fine, I declined the jobs because it would mean relocating. I am not keeping to my study goals, I have lost the motivation to do my four week challenge but I do feel like I can do my challenge if I just focus a bit harder on reaching my goals. Thank you for your message anyway, I hope you are doing well and stay in touch. I will let you know how it goes.

[djryanash]

Which of your original goals are you managing to stick to - if any?

 

Have you experienced any major changes in mood, energy levels or sleep patterns since your original post?