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Jakkals

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I am having the absolute pleasure of being in the middle of a major depression. It is a long time since it was this bad. Weirdly enough I do not have many suicidal thoughts, nor anger. I will get over it.

 

Some simple goals for this challenge.

 

1. No random Internet before 8 in the evenings.

 

2. Post something every day on the forums.

 

3.  Lights off before 10 at night.

 

I think I am going to manage that. 

  • Like 5

Level 8 : Wizard Blacksmith 

[ STR 6 | DEX 6 | STA 5 | CON 5 | WIS 10 | CHA 4 ]

Jakkals, 2019 nommer 3

 

Spoiler

 

Adapt yourself to the things among which your lot has been cast

and love sincerely the fellow creatures with whom destiny has

ordained that you shall live.

-Marcus Aurelius

 

 

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Mindfulness can be a great tool for preventing the spiral, but once I’m sucked in, survival mode (stuff like your goals) is usually the best option. I hope your goals serve as a helpful reminder. Sounds like this isn’t your first depression rodeo, but I hope you can stay/become healthy and okay-er 

  • Like 1

Crystal Gem Druid || Stat-free Level-free Goodness

"I won't run away anymore... I won't go back on my word... that is my ninja way!" Uzumaki Naruto

"You're pro or you're a noob. It's so easy, that's life."  Athene, Best Paladin in the World

"Do what the fuck you want to." Panic Station, Muse

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22 hours ago, klaybae said:

Mindfulness can be a great tool for preventing the spiral, but once I’m sucked in, survival mode (stuff like your goals) is usually the best option. I hope your goals serve as a helpful reminder. Sounds like this isn’t your first depression rodeo, but I hope you can stay/become healthy and okay-er 

 

Meditation is something that only really works for me on recovery, at this stage my mind is just too hazy.  And you are right, this isn't my first, so I know how to cope with it. It still sucks. 

 

20 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I was worried about you old friend. I’m glad you posted.

 

Thanks. 

 

Dinsdag

 

We had some rain this afternoon. This has been the warmest May I have ever experienced.  The grass is still green in places.

 

A visit from the auditor.  As expected, a year of deep in the red. 

 

I am reading to much. It is starting to interfere with important stuff. On the plus side, it helps my brain stay calm.  

  • Like 2

Level 8 : Wizard Blacksmith 

[ STR 6 | DEX 6 | STA 5 | CON 5 | WIS 10 | CHA 4 ]

Jakkals, 2019 nommer 3

 

Spoiler

 

Adapt yourself to the things among which your lot has been cast

and love sincerely the fellow creatures with whom destiny has

ordained that you shall live.

-Marcus Aurelius

 

 

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Woensdag

 

It was a cold and misty morning. 

 

I managed to finish a little project that has been started last year and has been standing untouched on a table for the past two months.

 

Battling my internet addiction problem has never worked before, I wonder why it will work now.

 

  • Like 3

Level 8 : Wizard Blacksmith 

[ STR 6 | DEX 6 | STA 5 | CON 5 | WIS 10 | CHA 4 ]

Jakkals, 2019 nommer 3

 

Spoiler

 

Adapt yourself to the things among which your lot has been cast

and love sincerely the fellow creatures with whom destiny has

ordained that you shall live.

-Marcus Aurelius

 

 

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22 minutes ago, Jakkals said:

Battling my internet addiction problem has never worked before, I wonder why it will work now.

Quitting smoking has never worked before either (for me), but that doesn't mean this time won't be the time it does. It's been over a month, now!

You can't find the way unless you keep searching for it.

Edit: How's lights out going?

  • Like 2

Crystal Gem Druid || Stat-free Level-free Goodness

"I won't run away anymore... I won't go back on my word... that is my ninja way!" Uzumaki Naruto

"You're pro or you're a noob. It's so easy, that's life."  Athene, Best Paladin in the World

"Do what the fuck you want to." Panic Station, Muse

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Glad you came back. I was worried too.

My depression usually stays in the mild to moderate range these days. Do what works for you and good luck.

I find some consolation in re-reading the art of manliness series on the black dog from time to time.

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A brief middle morning update since I forgot last night. I will do a decent post later.

 

It was raining again. A nice gloomy day to repair lights in the workshop. I do not like working on high ladders.

  • Like 3

Level 8 : Wizard Blacksmith 

[ STR 6 | DEX 6 | STA 5 | CON 5 | WIS 10 | CHA 4 ]

Jakkals, 2019 nommer 3

 

Spoiler

 

Adapt yourself to the things among which your lot has been cast

and love sincerely the fellow creatures with whom destiny has

ordained that you shall live.

-Marcus Aurelius

 

 

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On 5/30/2018 at 10:19 PM, klaybae said:

Edit: How's lights out going?

 

Good luck on quitting smoking. 

 

I manage to get to bed at the right time, but reading till 11 is not a good idea. I have to go to bed earlier if I want to read.

 

On 5/30/2018 at 11:30 PM, Emma said:

I find some consolation in re-reading the art of manliness series on the black dog from time to time.

 

I will have to look at that again. It has been a very long time since I read it.

 

On 5/31/2018 at 5:38 PM, elizevdmerwe said:

Hi Jakkals, how are the pets and rowing going? Water not too cold yet?

 

It is now too cold for rowing. Last time I took the dogs to the river they did not even enter the water. 

 

On 6/1/2018 at 4:44 AM, fitnessgurl said:

The Black Abyss (my name for depression) is tough place to be.

Don't give up! Think of it as a boss battle.

 

It will get better. One day.

 

Vrydag

 

I actually had some sort of productive day. Some things got done. 

 

We will not talk about the internet.

 

Nor the big bag of chips.

 

 

  • Like 3

Level 8 : Wizard Blacksmith 

[ STR 6 | DEX 6 | STA 5 | CON 5 | WIS 10 | CHA 4 ]

Jakkals, 2019 nommer 3

 

Spoiler

 

Adapt yourself to the things among which your lot has been cast

and love sincerely the fellow creatures with whom destiny has

ordained that you shall live.

-Marcus Aurelius

 

 

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Saturday was the festival at the local museum. I asked my brother if he wanted to go with me, I had sort of hoped he would say no.  And since we were halfway to the city anyway we went on and watched Solo and Deadpool 2 back to back. And I ate too much, and spend too much.

 

Sunday were not productive at all. I  did not do the one important thing I should have done. 

  • Like 4

Level 8 : Wizard Blacksmith 

[ STR 6 | DEX 6 | STA 5 | CON 5 | WIS 10 | CHA 4 ]

Jakkals, 2019 nommer 3

 

Spoiler

 

Adapt yourself to the things among which your lot has been cast

and love sincerely the fellow creatures with whom destiny has

ordained that you shall live.

-Marcus Aurelius

 

 

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Jakkals said:

Saturday was the festival at the local museum. I asked my brother if he wanted to go with me, I had sort of hoped he would say no.  And since we were halfway to the city anyway we went on and watched Solo and Deadpool 2 back to back. And I ate too much, and spend too much.

 

Sunday were not productive at all. I  did not do the one important thing I should have done. 

So do something now. Just one thing on your list. :) 

  • Like 2

L3 Human Ranger/Assassin

Str. 6 Dex. 2 Sta. 1 Con. 12 Wis. 8 Cha. 3

https://www.nerdfitness.com/character/58014

Motto: Where there is life, there is hope.

Soli Deo Gloria

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I am still in catch-up mode and not managing much of that. 

 

Going to bed at 10 doesn't help much if I woke at 2 in the morning.

 

And a two hour meeting with the bank's credit manager. It was a long  morning. 

 

I am tired. 

  • Like 2

Level 8 : Wizard Blacksmith 

[ STR 6 | DEX 6 | STA 5 | CON 5 | WIS 10 | CHA 4 ]

Jakkals, 2019 nommer 3

 

Spoiler

 

Adapt yourself to the things among which your lot has been cast

and love sincerely the fellow creatures with whom destiny has

ordained that you shall live.

-Marcus Aurelius

 

 

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Jakkals said:

I am still in catch-up mode and not managing much of that. 

 

Going to bed at 10 doesn't help much if I woke at 2 in the morning.

 

And a two hour meeting with the bank's credit manager. It was a long  morning. 

 

I am tired. 

*hugs*

  • Like 1

L3 Human Ranger/Assassin

Str. 6 Dex. 2 Sta. 1 Con. 12 Wis. 8 Cha. 3

https://www.nerdfitness.com/character/58014

Motto: Where there is life, there is hope.

Soli Deo Gloria

Link to comment
14 hours ago, Jakkals said:

I am still in catch-up mode and not managing much of that. 

 

Going to bed at 10 doesn't help much if I woke at 2 in the morning.

 

And a two hour meeting with the bank's credit manager. It was a long  morning. 

 

I am tired.

Just tackle one thing, one idea, one to-do at a time. Baby steps as you are able to manage.

  • Like 1

Mrs. Van's Latest Challenge

 

Zechariah 4:6

"Not by might, nor by power, but by My spirit, saith the Lord."

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Today was better. It was also our first real winter day, unpleasant outside at noon, only enjoyable in the sun.

 

Made my bed, sorted out part of my cupboard and showered. 

 

I am turning into a fat slob again.

 

  • Like 2

Level 8 : Wizard Blacksmith 

[ STR 6 | DEX 6 | STA 5 | CON 5 | WIS 10 | CHA 4 ]

Jakkals, 2019 nommer 3

 

Spoiler

 

Adapt yourself to the things among which your lot has been cast

and love sincerely the fellow creatures with whom destiny has

ordained that you shall live.

-Marcus Aurelius

 

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jakkals said:

Today was better. It was also our first real winter day, unpleasant outside at noon, only enjoyable in the sun.

 

Made my bed, sorted out part of my cupboard and showered. 

 

I am turning into a fat slob again.

 

You did the thing! I'm so proud of you!!!!!

Keep going!

L3 Human Ranger/Assassin

Str. 6 Dex. 2 Sta. 1 Con. 12 Wis. 8 Cha. 3

https://www.nerdfitness.com/character/58014

Motto: Where there is life, there is hope.

Soli Deo Gloria

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Don't ask.

 

Saturday night movie were The Hateful Eight.

 

I also went to a pub on Saturday afternoon and watched the test match between South Africa and England. I should do that more often.

 

The weekend were not productive. I did not do anything I planned, and we had visitors on Sunday.

 

On the achievement side the books that were stacked in  the sitting room is now in my bedroom, and I have completed level 300 on Candy Crush. 

 

I manage to make my bed almost every day. 

 

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/06/mr-rogers-neighborhood-talking-to-kids/562352/

  • Like 4

Level 8 : Wizard Blacksmith 

[ STR 6 | DEX 6 | STA 5 | CON 5 | WIS 10 | CHA 4 ]

Jakkals, 2019 nommer 3

 

Spoiler

 

Adapt yourself to the things among which your lot has been cast

and love sincerely the fellow creatures with whom destiny has

ordained that you shall live.

-Marcus Aurelius

 

 

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