Walking the labyrinth

[Nettis Clovenmark]

Original by Sidsel B on DA

 

ABOUT ME: I am a 36 year old genderqueer person who lives in the Chicago suburbs.  I am a clinical psychologist who loves fantasy novels, table top role playing games, and fiber crafts. I used to be extremely active, but between schooling and working, the active  hobbies have fallen by the wayside.  We are currently house hunting and looking to move back into Chicago, so I will be transitioning to public transportation for commuting. I need to be able to move my body and do so with confidence and without hurting myself.  I also miss cute clothes and having a style that better matches my gender.  It is really hard to find  stylish clothing when you are fat that  is not hyper feminine.  So yeah, that's me, taking a crack at  being accountable. 

 

4 WEEK CHALLENGE:

GOAL 1: Diet. I am going to resume eating at my low-carb macros, tracking on Myfittnesspal. I will have 50g of carbs or less 6/7 days with one day off since we rotate food responsibilities on game days and I can't control the options. I will log food and count calories all 7 days. 

 

GOAL 2: Fasting. I plan to do 2 24 hour fasts weekly on Monday and Friday. Since I did not fast today, I will make it up by doing it tomorrow. For this month I am allowed 3 cups of coffee on fast days, one of which can be bulletproof, plus 2 cups of broth if I  feel like I need it. Unlimited water. 

 

GOAL 3: Movement. I plan to walk for 10 minutes 5 days a week.  If it is too rainy, I can substitute with rowing on my rowing machine. I always overdo cardio and end up hurting myself or killing my motivation, so I am going to stick to super slow build up. 

 

LEVEL UP MY LIFE: Work.  I am starting anew job next week and I am feeling very nervous. Plus, I have not worked with adults regularly for over 2 years. To help with this and improve my competency I am going to work through the Learning ACT workbook throughout the challenge. Because a lot of the content is review for me, I am assigning myself multiple chapters a week. I only have 2 hourly clients out of a planned 25, so I will have plenty of down time for personal enrichment. I'm shooting for 2 - 3 chapters a week, finishing all 11 by end of challenge. 

[Nettis Clovenmark]

Today is my first fasting day since I had already eaten when i posted my challenge yesterday. So far not hungry particularly and on my first cup of coffee.  I am going to set up my macros and update weight and body measurements on MFP today as well as posting them here.  Maybe I should start a battle log for weight things.  We shall see. 

 

I decided to  save my walk till after I did a bunch of paperwork and phone calls for new job.  I can't believe I'm starting my dream job on Monday! SO nervous. 

 

EDIT:  for some reason I can't  make posts on the forum or reply to anything,  so I am adding to my post from this morning.

Just finished my first walk and I am a cramp elemental. One of the most terrible parts of hypothyroidism is the increased chances of cramping.  I have had a terrible time with calf cramps throughout my life and now I am struggling with lower back problems and calf cramps again.  It sucked so much.  I had to stop like 4 times in 10 minutes.  Upside,  my pace is better, I have not regressed to pre-hospital levels.  Hopefully by the end of the month I will be able to walk without stopping for 10 minutes. 

[Chaosbane]

Hi Porter, following along. Great intro and goals. I am also doing my first 4 week challenge, helping me get back on the bandwagon after some time off of proper training and nutrition (my nutrition still sucks at weekends).

 

Overtraining is a killer when people first start, don't overdo that cardio!

 

Good luck with your goals

[Rhovaniel]

That's a pretty strict challenge you've set yourself! I think my brain would throw a literal temper tantrum if I tried to cut carbs.

 

Sorry to be nosy and mother-ish, but are you used to fasting? 2 24hr fasts in a week seems like a lot if it's not something your body is used to. 

[NeuroRain]

Porter!  I enjoyed reading about you and your goals!

 

You made it through your first fast for this week!  And you got your walking in!  (I forgot to do mine this morning (adding new things into an old routine is hard!), so I am going to do that before lunch instead.)  I am glad to read that you took breaks as you needed them.  Listening to your body is a surefire way to better know your body.  You will learn when you can push and when you are approaching a limit.  Which will all support you with that body confidence you want to gain!

 

I am rooting for you!

[CanisLatrans]

Hi Porter! I'm super excited for you and your new job! I'm also starting a new job on Monday - after eight years at my previous one. It's pretty scary, but I'm sure we'll both kill it.

 

Best of luck moving forward. I'm rooting for you!

[Nettis Clovenmark]

5 hours ago, Chaosbane said:

Hi Porter, following along. Great intro and goals. I am also doing my first 4 week challenge, helping me get back on the bandwagon after some time off of proper training and nutrition (my nutrition still sucks at weekends).

 

Overtraining is a killer when people first start, don't overdo that cardio!

 

Good luck with your goals

Thanks!   I so hear you on good weekend nutrition.  Thats why I'm specifically building Saturdays in as a cheat type day; Half the time if I have the space to  eat junk food I end up not eating it. I just need the out. 

 

4 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

That's a pretty strict challenge you've set yourself! I think my brain would throw a literal temper tantrum if I tried to cut carbs.

 

Sorry to be nosy and mother-ish, but are you used to fasting? 2 24hr fasts in a week seems like a lot if it's not something your body is used to. 

Oh my brain will throw a literal temper tantrum, I'm expeciting it. I did keto in the past and I have  done  probably about 6 whole 30s in the past  5 years.  Cutting carbs sucks  the big one,  but for my body with my  insulin issues ( thank you thyroid)  its the best way to go.  A 24 hour fast sounds very scary on paper but it just means skipping breakfast and lunch  two days a week; sleeping time counts as part of fasting time. I have done 24 hour fasts in the past with no problem.  36 hours are right out though. 

 

4 hours ago, NeuroRain said:

Porter!  I enjoyed reading about you and your goals!

 

You made it through your first fast for this week!  And you got your walking in!  (I forgot to do mine this morning (adding new things into an old routine is hard!), so I am going to do that before lunch instead.)  I am glad to read that you took breaks as you needed them.  Listening to your body is a surefire way to better know your body.  You will learn when you can push and when you are approaching a limit.  Which will all support you with that body confidence you want to gain!

 

I am rooting for you!

Thank you!  It is so hard to go slow.  I n my head I can still run a 5k

 

2 hours ago, CanisLatrans said:

Hi Porter! I'm super excited for you and your new job! I'm also starting a new job on Monday - after eight years at my previous one. It's pretty scary, but I'm sure we'll both kill it.

 

Best of luck moving forward. I'm rooting for you!

Thank you!  Best of luck to you  too!  New jobs are amazing and scary all at once. 

[Nettis Clovenmark]

Well it is Wednesday and I  have logged my breakfast, double checked my macros and  gotten my MPF  back up to speed.  

 

My wife told me this morning she wants to join in on the challenge with me.  I can't convince  her to make a profile and use the forums, but at least now she will not be asking me to pick up take out or bring her ice cream on my way home from work. She grew up super skinny and could pretty much eat anything for most of her life  so she doesn't really understand my relationship with food. And now I get in person support! Woo!

[Nettis Clovenmark]

Night time update:  Keeping to my carbs was so easy today.  I forgot how much less hungry I get when I am eating more fat and protein.  I am going to end up being under my caloric goals by a whole bunch just because I'm not hungry at all.  It rained  all over so rowing machine for me-  it really helped to loosen up my knees so I might start alternating with walking on purpose. 

[LadyRabbit]

Just wanted to raise my glass to your Labyrinthian title and gif. Well played, friend. Well played. 

[CanisLatrans]

Having your wife be on the same page will be so awesome for you! It's so much easier to stick to your guns when your spouse is trying to get healthy too. Keep it up!

 

[Nettis Clovenmark]

WEEK ONE UPDATE!!

GOAL 1: Diet. I logged my food all 7 days.  Downside:  I  had 2 cheat days instead of one,  because of the demon alcohol.  I got tipsy at a friend's barbecue and it led to bad choices and many many extra carbs.  Because of this I am going to do a sober month while I settle back in to  healthy eating.  5/7= 71

 

GOAL 2: Fasting. I did both of my fasts this week!  I think next week I will pre prep my bulletproof coffee in the morning so that I can  ice it and  blend it around lunch time.  I need the extra fats to control hunger and make   things easier.  2/2 = 100

 

GOAL 3: Movement. I plan to walk for 10 minutes 5 days a week.  I only did 3/5 days this week.  Moving forward I am going to officially alternate between rowing and walking because I had a lot of body pain and it made it hard to stay motivated to get out.  3/5 = 60

 

LEVEL UP MY LIFE: Work.  I started my workbook and read the intro and chapter one.  This week I have  lots of weird downtime, so I will spend at least 1 hour a day working on the workbook.  100

SO: overall grade for the week:  83 = B

Not too shabby for my first structured challenge in at least 2 years!

 

[CanisLatrans]

Haha, that demon alcohol has gotten me many times. Great job so far with the fasts and food logging!

[Nettis Clovenmark]

Week 2 is off to a strong start.  I  did my walking yesterday, fasted,  and  chose to eat healthy  instead of getting take out after work.  I also hit my first weight milestone:  I am now  able to use the home scale without exceeding the weight limit! It's too late in the year to lose the 120 I was hoping for, but I can still shoot for 60 and I'm going to.

[CanisLatrans]

7 hours ago, Porter said:

Week 2 is off to a strong start.  I  did my walking yesterday, fasted,  and  chose to eat healthy  instead of getting take out after work.  I also hit my first weight milestone:  I am now  able to use the home scale without exceeding the weight limit! It's too late in the year to lose the 120 I was hoping for, but I can still shoot for 60 and I'm going to.

 

Congrats on your progress so far! You're killing it!

[Nettis Clovenmark]

Days where I am in the city make meeting my goals so easy.  I took my  high-carb day today since its our turn to cook at gaming and had lunch with friends at my favorite coffee shot while  discussing and signing a contract fro our upcoming podcast. Walking was easy when I was going somewhere instead of doing it " for exercise."  That feels important somehow. I was able to walk for 5 minutes plus without taking a break! new record.

  

[Nettis Clovenmark]

WEEK 2 UPDATE

 

GOAL 1: Diet. I logged my food all 7 days.   Had my cheat day in the city so I could  have beautiful  Panini at my favorite coffee shop.  7/7= 100 A

 

GOAL 2: Fasting. Fasting is going well! I keep forgetting to prep bulletproof beverages, which is making it harder than it needs to be,   but tomorrow I don't have any clients until so I have plenty of time to set up.   2/2 = 100 A

 

GOAL 3: Movement. I walked easily this week.  Being in the city and just functioning makes it easy to log 10 minutes of walking.  I did 5/5 days this week. 5/5 = 100 A

 

LEVEL UP MY LIFE: Work.  I barely read an hour this week.  I simply did not have  enough emotional energy  to absorb the detailed information.  I think this week I will plan for  one hour per day instead of  a chapter requirement.  1/7 hours = 14 F

 

SO: overall grade for the week:  100 = A for my active goals, or 79 = C+  with work life goal. 

Overall I am very happy with this.  I'll get the balance down!

[Nettis Clovenmark]

Oh gods,  stress makes me so hungry.  I had an issue with my car insurance and now I am trying to fix it, have been on the phone for 35 minutes,  couldn't go pick up my meds, and have things to do before my 6 pm client.  All I want is a bleeping cheeseburger.  *angrily sips bulletproof coffee*

 

[Rhovaniel]

Hey Porter!

 

How is the fasting going? Sounds like you're doing really well at keeping up with this, is it getting easier?  

[Nettis Clovenmark]

3 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

Hey Porter!

 

How is the fasting going? Sounds like you're doing really well at keeping up with this, is it getting easier?  

 

Actually this is the one goal that is going extremely well.  Fasting is mostly easy as long as I do the prep work and actually  plan out the day. Finding the energy and time to do the other things is way harder. 

[Nettis Clovenmark]

WEEK 3 UPDATE

 

GOAL 1: Diet. I was all over the place this week. I had issues getting my meds filled and ended up  going off of  my synthroid for 3 or 4 days,  which led to  a weird crashy panicky experience. Feeding myself at all was a burden and  macros went out the window a bunch. .  3/7= 43 F

 

GOAL 2: Fasting. Fasting is going well! No problems this week, two complete fasts.    2/2 = 100 A

 

GOAL 3: Movement. I walked easily this week.  Being in the city and just functioning makes it easy to log 10 minutes of walking. next quest will be a bit more structured to get the cardio pump  going.  I did 5/5 days this week. 5/5 = 100 A

 

LEVEL UP MY LIFE: Work.  I barely read an hour this week again.  I think I am going to make this  much slower,  and try for one chapter next week.   1/7 hours = 14 F

 

SO: overall grade for the week:  81 = B for my active goals, or 64 = D  with work life goal. 

Not the best week ever,  but I got through it, and I fasted yesterday as I was supposed to. 

[Rhovaniel]

I must admit, I am impressed at your 24hr fasts! I'm gradually implementing a 14 hour fast with a 10 hour eating window into my 'easy' days, but 24hrs... not sure I have the willpower for that one!

 

I like how you're adjusting the reading goal. There is nothing wrong and quite a lot right with realising that a goal isn't working out and adjusting it as necessary  

[ilsudur]

At the risk of sounding negative, just remember that the body and brain work differently with respect to blood sugar and regular nutrition.  The body can and should handle periods of fasting, but brain function drops in the absence of regular food intake, a la Maslow's Heirarchy, blood-glucose levels as related to neural stimulation, etc.  Balance in all things, especially when you're at the point that you'd slaughter an old man for a cheeseburger.

[Nettis Clovenmark]

7 minutes ago, ilsudur said:

At the risk of sounding negative, just remember that the body and brain work differently with respect to blood sugar and regular nutrition.  The body can and should handle periods of fasting, but brain function drops in the absence of regular food intake, a la Maslow's Heirarchy, blood-glucose levels as related to neural stimulation, etc.  Balance in all things, especially when you're at the point that you'd slaughter an old man for a cheeseburger.

 

I mean sure,  brain function can change with loss of nutrition, but  the studies show that  much longer periods of fasting than skipping 2 meals are doable without danger.  On a fasting day I probably still have about 300 calories in drinkables over the course of my day and a full dinner.  I have history of a binge eating disorder and food cravings are a huge art of emotional processing for me.  If I ate something heavy every time I was  frustrated or annoyed, I would  be even less healthy! 

 

13 minutes ago, Rhovaniel said:

I must admit, I am impressed at your 24hr fasts! I'm gradually implementing a 14 hour fast with a 10 hour eating window into my 'easy' days, but 24hrs... not sure I have the willpower for that one!

 

It sounds so much longer than it is. It really just means skipping breakfast and lunch then having dinner at or after the time you had dinner the night before.  I wish I could make food windows work for me!  Because of my work schedule we would either have to  eat only in the morning or super late.  Regular fasts and a prohibition on snacking  just seems to work better. 

[Nettis Clovenmark]

How did it get to be Thursday already?  Between work and  getting things done for  the new house, time has been flying by.  My wife  is back on board with eating well again.  She  started  with me early on and then  went off the rails with her ice cream obsession mid challenge.  Now, she is committed to doing the next challenge with me and we are back on track there. I have been grilling a bunch. Summer food is so easy. 

 

I have not been exercising at all this week. Its rainy in Chicago and I have had  many tasks to do,  so I am driving too much.  Next challenge I am switching to mandatory rowing machine daily I think,  plus using my fitbit more consistently to increase over all daily motion.

 

Cross your fingers for me that this closing goes smoothly and I have a house by next week!