PollyannaAgain's Log

[PollyannaAgain]

Hello! This is likely to be quite boring to read for you, but I wanted a place to regroup. I've struggled the last few challenges, so I'm taking a break and working here instead.

 

Once upon a time, I was a very kind and upbeat person. I'm not sure when or why that changed, but I honestly don't recognize myself any more. Both literally and figuratively. I'm looking now to find my way back to happy again.

 

I recently listened to The Power of Habit by Duhigg, and am now listening to Unf*k Yourself by Bishop. I only just started the latter, but using the former, I've come up with a list of habits I'd like to change, and a set I'd like to get started. I'm going to start changes with 1) Stress Eating, 2)Negative Self-Talk, and 3)Drive Home Mood Drop, and I'm going to start new habits of 1)Exercising regularly, 2)Meal prepping, and 3)Regular Self-Care. I'm only going to work one at a time for now. I'm working on identifying the cue and reward for each of these behaviors right now.

 

The first chapter of the second book talks about rephrasing self-talk to make the good stuff more assertive. His first phrase is "I am willing..." or "I am unwilling." I kinda liked the second one better for some things. I think it added some urgency to them. The phrases I've come up with so far include "I am unwilling to be unhealthy anymore," "I am unwilling to be sad," and "I am willing to be brave." It was an interesting exercise, and I think there's more to it, but that's as far as I got in the chapter before I arrived at work.

 

But anyway! I'm working through those two books right now. I'm walking more, and I decided to go analog with food and workout recording and thus picked up a journal for it. I'm presently working through a professional dog trainer program, so you'll likely see dogs and training mentioned often. Cross your fingers for me! I'm hoping I'll last a lot longer with this thing this time around! (Which is probably not how the book would like me to phrase it, but I don't think I'm at that chapter yet...)

[PollyannaAgain]

I've added the book Get Your Sh*t Together by Sarah Knight to my list of how-tos. It's fairly entertaining. I also read her other two, but I think GYST is most applicable to what I'm up to.

 

Yesterday, I brainstormed some habit loops for current bad habits and tried to build some for good habits I'd like to implement. I really struggle with the reward part for this stuff, just like I did when I was doing challenges on here. The loops devolved into points to exchange for future rewards, but I'm not happy with that. It didn't work for the challenges, and I doubt it will work now. Don't know what else to do about it at the moment.

 

Also yesterday, I meal prepped! And then this morning left it sitting on the table...I did go to the gym today though, so at least one thing I planned got done today!

[PollyannaAgain]

Ha! Hilarious...told you guys I was bad at this...At any rate, life has calmed down somewhat, and I feel like I've almost got a handle on things enough to really commit to my plans.

 

I went to see a new GP who actually believed me when I told him about my migraines because he has them too. I went in to get my blood sugar checked b/c I'm still struggling to lose any weight. I'm not diabetic, or even pre-diabetic apparently. I was happy, but also at a loss for what to do next. After we talked, he recommended I start taking melatonin to improve my sleep quality, which he thinks will help with the migraines and weight loss, and then he also put me on a different acid reflux medication because that's been a big problem this past year. I'm supposed to go back to talk about my neurology appointment with him, but I haven't scheduled the appointment yet. I think I am sleeping a little better. At any rate, I've had more energy the last few weeks, and that's been nice. Cross your fingers for me!

 

After that, but later in the month, I finally went to see the neurologist who confirmed that I did indeed have migraines with aura. He said that I'm at low risk for stroke overall so my migraines will only increase the risk slightly if I want to go back on my combination birth control. It's up to me whether I think that level of risk is acceptable...I haven't decided yet. I'm a bit torn on that point because in June, my period actually ended, and I've had two relatively normal (meaning with a specific start and end date...) periods. I think I'll just wait and see if that trend continues, which means I'd only have to decide between a mild risk of stroke and PCOS symptoms...Good times.

 

On the reading front, I enjoyed all three of the Sarah Knight books that are out. I highly recommend them, especially if you listen to them. She's a fantastic narrator. I recently read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, and enjoyed it, though some of her Type-A-ness made me cringe (possibly b/c I saw too much of myself reflected in it?). I think I'd like to do my own happiness project, so I've been brainstorming ideas on that front.

[Arkania]

I just started the complaint free world 21 day challenge.

It's shocking how many times a day we (I) are (am) complaining or something like that.

I just thought the same as you in your first post.
I was a friendly person some time ago, what happened?