Re-Introducing Myself and Back With a New Attitude!

[Gwenhwyfar]

Hello!  I when I first came to this website, I was not in a good state of mind and was in a terrible relationship that was ruining my self-esteem and body image!

 

I was telling myself that I wanted to get in shape for myself, but that was a huge lie!  I actually wanted to get in shape for an ex, who was nothing but an asshole, while doing it for myself was only a tiny portion of a want.

 

It's been years since I've been on this site and it was actually painful to look at for a while because of my past.  All I could think about was my low self-esteem and wanting to change for a guy.  I couldn't be happy returning to this site without a good reason for wanting to lose weight that wasn't about my body image.

 

Since I've broken up with my ex, I found someone who truly loves me for me, no matter how much weight I've gained.

 

On the flip side, my boyfriend has been a bad influence on me on eating and I've gained an incredible amount of weight.  On the plus side, my boyfriend has actually taught me how to effectively diet to lose weight, which was done by me copying him whenever he got serious about losing weight.  We've ended up on a yo-yo dieting cycle which isn't ever good.  I've been trying to lecture my boyfriend on this, but he insists on just doing crash diets, when he gains too much weight, and then go back to his horrible eating habits to gain all the weight back.

 

I've been dieting whenever my boyfriend diets and going back to bad eating habits when he goes back to his.

 

It's kind of funny, but when I was with my ex, I was 135 lbs and I wanted to be 125 lbs.  Now, with my man, I've went up to 170 lbs and now being back down to my 135 lb seems like a dream, while 130 lbs would be a stretch goal!

 

I'm really getting sick of these diets, now.  I'm getting really sick of going on calorie restrictive diets, which deprives me of every food I love to eat!  And I just get all sad when I gain all the weight back when I go back to eating all my favorite junk food!  I want to stop following my boyfriend's dieting pattern and style to a permanent, healthy eating lifestyle!

 

I've now found a good reason for why I want to be on this site!

 

....  And that reason is....

 

I love food!!!

 

I want to be able to eat more tasty food without gaining weight!  I don't want to be on such a calorie restrictive diet that I can't enjoy the food I eat!  I want to be able to indulge in food without getting fat!  I want to be able to enjoy some of my favorite junk food without worrying that I'll get fat again!

 

This is now my main reason for wanting to get in shape now!  Looking good has become a very small reason for getting in shape for me now.

 

My reasons are ranked in this order:

1.  Be able to indulge food without getting fat.

2.  Be healthy.

3.  Be able to fit some of my favorite clothes again.

4.  Feel confident in a bikini again.

 

As you can see, my body image is more of a bonus than a concern now.  I don't feel too concerned about looking good in a bikini, I don't even care about wearing a bikini ever again, but it would be nice.  I've tried telling myself that in the past that my body image was more of a bonus, but it was a total lie!  I now have a much healthier reason for why I want to be in shape!

 

My ultimate goal is to lose enough weight and build enough muscle that I can eat 2000 calories without getting fat!

[Defining]

Welcome back! I'm a strong believer in 80:20 for long term diets, and lifestyle. That is to say, as long as you're eating properly 80% of the time, you should be able to allow some junk food without feeling guilt or having any undue ill effects to your health and physique. 'Should' being the operative word, because sometimes there also needs to be some deprivation (within reason) to rebalance things first - eg. losing fat to get to a healthier weight, and then less restrictive maintenance.

 

'Easiest' way to be able to still eat but not get fat is to exercise to make up for the difference between your TDEE and how much you're actually eating - I say 'easy' because 30min of intense workouts probably only burns 200-300kcal, so it's all in moderation. If you want to feel full (ie not deprived), put a heavy emphasis on protein and vegetables; you'd be shocked how few calories are in 2c of broccoli vs 2c of pasta, for example!

 

Here's an infographic guideline for easy 'no counting' calorie control: https://www.precisionnutrition.com/calorie-control-guide-infographic (I'm not a fan of all the calls-to-action on that site, but despite that, it's a great way to start to learn how to evaluate portions). Personally though, I'd double up on the vege portions recommended and aim for 1.5x the protein they suggest  - at least while trying to lose fat.

 

Go slow, be safe, have fun, and see you 'round!

[Gwenhwyfar]

Thanks, Defining!  I've heard of that rule before.

 

I've been maintaining my calories on MyFitnessPal, which has helped a lot.  I've also incorporated more exercising, which has allowed me to eat more!

 

I did interval running and then did a Pokemon Go walk, which allowed me to burn around 438 calories!  Surprisingly, my one hour walk burned more calories than my 30 min run.

 

Can't weight to shed off these pounds so I can start bulking!...  The surplus calories will be nice, lol....  Mmm, food! xD

[Trixie Falsae]

Welcome back! I totally understand how our partners bad habits can influence our own.  I am glad you want to do this for you and not for someone else.  It really helps to stay motivated and focused.