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Jean

... "Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'"

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So, let me start by saying that I am a Robot and I don't do road signs (had to try those damn puzzles a dozen times...)

 

And that's ok, 'cause Robot Rangers don't need no effin' vehicles to thread their life and be awesome ! No, what we need is a log and to look at ourself in the water and either be proud of what we see, or die trying. So here I am. I'm no lumberjack but I'll try to make this work anyway.

 

Keeping a log seems like the right thing for me to do when it comes to accountability : it means that I have to take a good look at myself and keep my eyes open, no matter what I see. Or stop updating and know that I am failing (or that Internet is a thing of the past, we're back to maps and compasses and I have won my war against skillessly relying on machines instead of ourselves, but let's not skip intermediate goals, here).

 

So, let's start with Why I'm in here :

 

1) Because I'm born and I want to play the game.

 

Not enough ?

 

2) Because I can.

2.a) Because even Robots can be the best person they can be.

 

Which is really to say that I just want to feel whole, again, on a regular basis.

 

So, what feels right ?

Practicing Martial Arts feels right.

Solving a difficult situation feels right.

Exercising in and of itself doesn't feel right.

Having even lightly challenged my body at some point in the day makes me feel right for the whole day.

 

So, feeling whole, for me, is feeling that I have the right skillset to handle most any situation, and tackle it, both physically and mentally.

 

I'm naturally leaning more toward the 'Mind' side of things, so getting some body training in is what I want to do in order to gain balance.

 

Which leads us to my Big Why :

 

"I want to wake up every morning feeling like I'm ready for the day to come."

 

It's vague, and nondescript, and not SMART for a penny but this is how Robot Me measures things, with guts and gusto, and this is how I'll roll, now more than ever.

 

Now to my starting measurements :

Weight : 77.3 Kg (wanted direction : up)

Height : 1.83 m

Number of consecutive push-ups I can do before feeling I'm over-exerting myself : 10

 

And to my training focus :

 - basic workout : push-ups, abs, pull-ups, running -> to be laid down [Target 1 = 1 full Vita Trail, walking] ;

 - getting some healthy sleeping habits ;

 - getting rid of my reliance on coffee [target = drink water instead] [Goal 1 = always carry a bottle of water with me].

 

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Thanks Dad of the support. I love the spirit you're putting into your journey, by the way. Very inspirational reading.

 

Here's to laying down my basic workout plan :

 

 - Sunday is Hiking Day : I take the time to explore my area with a beautiful hike, no matter the length (can be 45 minutes of mushrooms hunting or a 10 hours trip). Poor weather conditions allow me a skip to be replaced by another fun activity, like swimming ;

 - Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday are Workout Days : 1 rep of my workout routine ;

 - Monday, Wednesday and Friday are Resting Days : 10 min of walking.

 

Basic workout derived from the suggested basic Parkour training routine from Dakao (thanks!), which, for me, will be :

 

 - 1 set of 10 push-ups (+1 every week) ;

 - 1 set of 10 box jumps (+1 every week) ;

 - 1 set of 10 leg lifts (+1 every week) ;

 - 1/4th of a pull-up (more as I become able to) ;

 - 5 minutes of running (+1 every week).

 

Today is Planning Day so Day 1 is Sunday the 8th of July 2018.

 

Except for the first few weeks (where there's a lot to set in place), reports are expected to be weekly. Let's see how far from home I'll go (hopefully not into Mordor).

 

 

 

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Quick update for future references :

 

Sunday's hike went good. I took a friend with me, which made giving up on the idea a non-option. The weather was splendid, the hike was fine, I had sore calves the day after... everything you'd expect out of it. :-)

 

Today's small workout session just confirmed what I already knew : I don't like to train, I've felt bad, and bored, and wanting to do anything else but it during all of it but the running part (which I quite enjoyed, so that at least was a good surprise). So now comes the conundrum : I know it won't get better - when I'll start having an easier time with it, I'll start uping the challenge, so it'll always be a difficult probably-no-fun time, only longer. I know I'll like its effects but I don't see it becoming sustainable as something I won't drop when a good/bad excuse arises as it is now. So, how do I make it enjoyable so that I'll keep doing it when other priorities arise ?

 

I'm mainly asking myself but I'm, of course, taking suggestions. Things don't look too good for my goals from where I'm seeing them now.

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So, second day of workout and :

 

Push-ups were easier.

Legs-up were harder and are way harder than I'd have thought, in general.

Box jumps were way easier.

Pull-ups were harder (I'm actually doing "half pull-ups", meaning that since there are different heights of bars were I train, I'm taking the lower and starting with my elbows forming a 90° angle while my feet are on the ground. I can do 3 of those before giving up).

Running was way harder but I made the mistake to try and explore the ways around the place, which led me to steep slopes I didn't expect.

 

I ended up tired but with a fighting spirit. Still don't think this is sustainable, though.

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Ok, I've just had another taste of "people" today and I really need to up my game.

 

The why : Being able and willing to choose when and how I want to interact with "people" and find my comfort zone.

 

The goals :

Fitness : keeping up my routine. For week 2 :

  • running 6 minutes/workout session ;
  • doing 11 pushups/workout session ;
  • doing 11 legsup/workout session ;
  • doing 11 box jumps/workout session ;
  • doing 4 half pullups/workout session.

Spirit : from now on, resting days are Meditation Days. 10 minutes of meditation sitting in front of a burning candle.

 

Food : eat enough everyday so that I finally start taking some care of myself. Cooking at least once every other day.

 

Finances : taking mastery of my useless spendings :

  • get rid of my old rent by cleaning the house real good and resigning on the lease ;
  • resigning on my old internet contract and making a new one for my new home ;
  • crusing through my insurances to get rid of dead weight.

Tomorrow is going to be a tough day with not much time for myself so it's gonna be a mushrooms day, allowing me to both get some fresh air and cooking material for my food goal.

 

I hope today's spirit will last but I trust the people around me to remind me of the why anytime I may forget...

 

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So, I hit the brick I was fearing : professionnal urgencies are piling up and I'm putting too much of a focus on them, neglecting myself in the process.

 

The bad news is : professionnal obligations will keep piling up until I retire.

The other piece of old news is : I need to find enough balance to regenerate strength while fighting. This means making a difference between "me" time and "battle" time so my next step is to define circumstances that will mean to me "Hey lad, this is your time ! You've got a responsability to be in a fighting shape for the rest of the day so you can't let yourself burn like a candle out !".

 

These days, I need as much rest as I can pile up, so this moment can't be in the morning and I'm not good at taking that kind of time in the evening, so it must be during the lunch break.

 

As for what kind of activity can give me back the push I need to go further, I'll go with the one that has helped the most in the beginning : Steve's 10' walks.

 

So, this is me, on the boat, planting the seeds I need to keep being on it for years to come.

 

(Btw : the academy's week 6 email came right in time with it's emphasis on respawning. Great timing there, grats !)

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So, this is me putting down my thoughts once again.

 

Taking the time to go for even small 10' walks is hard : there's 10 years worth of late work in my new job, and only a few months before winter and property damages for some of the people who request me to do something. This is the kind of times when disfunctional me acts like taking time for myself will rock the boat, and feeling good not something I should be experiencing. So I'm doing what I do best : looking at the big picture and keeping calm. I don't feel like I am afraid of failure but I do feel drained. Not sure how long I can still keep it.

 

The small walk I did yesterday did help some, so I'm going out to walk some more right now, then getting some sleep. I may know that depriving me of sleep serves no purpose and helps nobody, but I do tend to still act like sleeping's not something I should be doing. Talk about guilting myself into imperfection, holding myself to fake standards that I'd identify as part of perfection (whereas finding and keeping balance even in tiring times would be closer to it).

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A'rright, I'm respawning today. I'll take it slow and, this time, trust the academy approach instead of going wild all by myself.

 

09.09.2018

Measurements

Weight : 75.4 Kg

Neck : 37.2 cm

Chest : 90.6 cm

Right biceps : 25.4 cm

Left biceps : 25.4 cm

Waist : 84.6 cm

Hips : 99.0 cm

Right thigh : 51.6 cm

Left thigh : 50.6 cm

Right calf : 35.2 cm

Left calf : 35.2 cm

 

Body fat : 15.80%

Hydration : 57.80%

Using a body fat scale.

 

Food log

- 2 mugs of coffee with plenty of sugar (morning)

- 2 beers (3dl)

- 2 scoops of ice cream on a biscuit cone (afternoon)

- vietnamese nems, 3/4th of a portion of Setchuan beef and a side of fried rice (evening)

Yup... there's a long way to go toward healthy eating habits...

 

Exercise

Have I done my exercise ? - Yes.

5' walk.

Starting slow.

 

Theme song : Linkin Park - Battle Symphony

 

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Now, this is quite a day for food logging ! :-D x-D

 

Food log

4 black espressi (throughout the day)

1 beer (25 cl, evening)

1 caesar salad (noon)

1 salami sandwich (noon)

1 multifruit juice (33 cl, noon)

1 bowl of milk, cocoa and 3 scoops of Smacks (evening)

1 pork sausage with mashed potatoes, carrots and brown onion sauce (evening)

 

Exercise

Have I done my exercise ? - Yes.

5' walk.

 

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Food log

2 mugs of coffee with plenty of sugar (early morning)

3 black coffees (morning, noon and afternoon)

1 pork sausage with mashed potatoes, carrots and brown onion sauce (noon)

1 multifruits juice (50 cl, afternoon)

1 bowl of milk, cocoa and 3 scoops of Smacks (evening)

2 sugary lemon ice teas (2*50 cl, night)

1.5 burgers (150g total), broccolis fried potatoes and plenty of ketchup (night)

 

Exercise

Have I done my exercise ? - Yes.

5' walk.

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More coffee than food today :

 

Food log

1 mug of coffee with plenty of sugar in the early morning

4 cups of black coffee (2 in the morning, 1 at noon, 1 in the afternoon)

1.5 burgers (150g total), broccolis, fried potatoes and plenty of ketchup (evening)

2/3rd of a beer (15 cl, evening)

 

Exercise

Have I done my exercise ? - Yes.

5' walk.

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They were on sale for real cheap (and are, therefore, extra healthy, of course ! ^^). Glad you like it. The funny thing is, since I actually cooked them, I count it as a win. :D

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Food log

Ok, this is a new one :

7 glasses of water (1x early morning, 5x morning, 1x afternoon)

Yay ! Progress !

1 black coffee (morning)

2 beers (2x25 cl, noon)

1 ice tea (50 cl, afternoon)

1 pack of chips (afternoon)

 

On another plus side, speaking of cooking pots made me long for some delicious stew, so here we are (thanks to Kerri) :

Plenty of delicious beef (on hard sale) stew  containing potatoes, oinions, kholrabi, cabbage, carrots, leeks and delicious meat and vegetable juices (noon and evening)

 

1 mug of coffee with plenty of sugar (night)

 

Exercise

Have I done my exercise ? - Yes.

5' walk.

 

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So. time for some goals setting Steve's way :

 

Goals

I'm the type of person that uses his inner strength to overcome the out-of-reality flows of chaos around him or : whatever happens around me, I play with the laws of physics and psychology to get where I want to be, no matter how hard it can be.

 

I will always practise some kind of voluntary exercise every day. It can be 5' of walking.
I will always carry water with me in order to be combat ready and give in to my thirst whenever I feel like it.

I will cook a complete meal at the bare minimum once every week.

I will search my area for martial arts dojos, make contact with the master and schedule an appointment until I find one that suits me.

I will maintain my internet site and put my ideas there whenever they pop into my mind.

 

When I fail to follow through, I don't let myself down a second day in a row.

I have a plan B because I play with the laws of physics and psychology and not within some imaginary perfect world.

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Food log

4 black coffees (3x morning, 1x afternoon)

8 glasses of water (3x morning, 5x afternoon)

1 beer (25 cl) (noon)

plenty of delicious beef stew (noon and evening)

1 bowl of cocoa milk with 2 scopes of Smacks (evening)

2 cans of corn (280g) with olive oil, vinegar and some herbs (night)

 

Goals tracking

Have I done my exercise ? - Yes : 5' walk.

Have I wandered around with water at my disposal ? - No : midterm goal.

Have I cooked this week ? - Yes.

Have I searched for martial arts clubs ? - Not yet.

Have I taken care of my internet site ? - No, keeping it for the weekend.

 

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Food log

1x cup of coffee with plenty of sugar and cream (morning)

1 small ham sandwich with butter (morning)

plenty of barbecue (beef, lamb and pork) with plenty of salads (lentils, potatoes, veggies - noon)

2 bottles of water (1l total - afternoon)

some gulps of water from the tap (afternoon and evening)

1 energy milk choco (33 cl - afternoon)

1 bottle of ice tea (50 cl - afternoon)

Pasta with veggies (carrot, tomato, olives, onion, chili, garlic), pieces of beef (leftover from the stew purchase) and parmigiano (evening)

 

Goals tracking

Have I done my exercise ? - Yes : 5' walk (upping it up tomorrow).

Have I wandered around with water at my disposal ? - Hell no ! And I missed it. I was putting some makeup on the vinyard to make it welcoming enough for an interview I'm having there next week and would have really liked some easily accessible quality water to go with the hot sun.

Have I cooked this week ? - Hell yes, I have !

Have I searched for martial clubs ? - No, and no excuse. Get yourself up, man !

Have I taken care of my internet site ? No, now is really not a good time for that, too much action going on in other aspects of my life to risk losing what I've gained so far by trying to add another horse to the carriage. This becomes a midterm goal.

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Since they are currently clear in my mind, I felt like writing down the basic rules I live by (most of the time), the symphony to my life :

 

  • Rule #1 : Don't panic.
    There's always time for not panicking. Not taking it means accepting to have lost already : you only ever stand a chance of overcoming the situation and live to tell the tale if you work it out with your guts, heart and brains.
  • Rule #2 : Don't burn yourself out !
    You are helping no one by taking yourself down. Staying combat ready also means taking care of yourself so that you can regenerate the energy required to do what you do.
    You are a person too and part of the world. Making the world a better place means it also has to be good for you.
  • Rule #3 : Nobody is out to get you. ;-)
    Whatever goofing up you do, you are working with people, not soulless demons. You can work out a solution if only you speak with the people around you and hide nothing from them. There's a reason why you've acted that way : make it plain !
    • Rule #3b : Nobody likes to be the bad guy.
      Most people try to do good by their idea of good. Of course, their idea of it and yours can differ considerably. Work with it !
  • Rule #4 : Don't revel in self pity.
    More often than not, a fighting chance is the best you can ask for. Go for it and grab it ! Everybody's covered in shit, make yours shine and glitter.
    When you take a hit, try to grasp the true implications of it. If you're still alive/in the company/part of the group, you're still in the game. Just roll with it.

 

This week's theme song : Auracle Music - Stand and Fight

 

Food log :

4 mugs of coffee with plenty of sugar (2x morning, 1x afternoon, 1x night)

Pasta with veggies, beef and parmigiano (leftovers from yesterday - noon)

1 beer (33cl - afternoon)

1 bottle of ice tea (50 cl - afternoon)

1 pack of sugar heavy sweets (200g - afternoon)

Pasta with meat sauce (evening)

Not enough water from the tap (afternoon and evening)

 

Goals tracking

Have I done my exercise ? - Yes. 5' of walking, Steve's warm up and Staci's cool down (those feel like exercise already at the point I am at this time).

Have I wandered around with water at my disposal ? - No. Ordered a pair of flexible bottles at Camelbak to work around this one.

Have I cooked this week ? - Yes. My weeks start on mondays, by the way.

Have I searched for martial clubs ? - Made a list of them. I'm calling some on tuesday (giving myself a break on monday). I wouldn't have done it without the "never twice in a row" rule. I was really, really wanting to let it slide (feeling overoccupied and tired already) but this is an important goal, so important rules apply.

On Hold : Have I taken care of my internet site ? - Of course not.

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I've been a good boy so this is what I got in the mail today :

 

IMG_20180917_181658.thumb.jpg.0457c5e7b7f930c3d1c2bd9c4ce46618.jpg

 

They're a pleasure to hold in hand, fit in a pocket and delightful to empty in one go. No more excuses for my water carrying goal.

 

I've started to feel hungry again too (it's a good thing). It had been a long time since I had shown some real signs of life. So, progress, yay ! I've let myself go and bought a lot of food today (again, a good thing : I feel like I know what I eat and don't eat, so it should be a sure purchase). "Should", I say ? Well... tonight was snacking evening and that is NOT a good thing. Have felt the drive to cook but I was too tired to actually do it (I didn't sleep last night : work to do). So, on to today logging :

 

Food log

4 cups of black coffee (1x morning, 1x noon, 2x afternoon)

4 glasses of water (1x morning, 1x noon, 2x afternoon)

Pasta with meat sauce (noon)

1 flexible bottle of water (50 cl - evening)

1 bottle of multifruit juice (50 cl - evening)

1 bag of dried mango (100 g)

1 bag of chips (175 g)

a full pack of green balisto cereal and chocolate bars (8x18,5 g)

 

Goals tracking

Have I done my exercise ? - Yes. 5' of walking, Warm up, workout 1A, cooldown. (Was on my way to doing it, didn't do it.)

Have I wandered around with water at my disposal ? - No, but watch me tomorrow.

Have I cooked this week ? -Not yet.

Have I called a martial club ? - Nope, gonna try a Tai Chi instructor that looks rather nice tomorrow and come see his class on the tuesday after that. We'll see how it goes.

On hold : Have I taken care of my internet site ? Hell no !

 

It feels like I am breaking out on my job (can't reach the too many urgent goals I'm facing) but am doing better with my life as a whole. We'll see where this caries me on...

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I fell asleep without logging, yesterday, so here it is :

 

Food log

1 small sausage (early morning)

1 bottle of ice tea (50 cl - early morning)

1 coffee with cream and sugar (morning)

2 bottles of water (1l total - 1x morning, 1x afternoon)

5 glasses of wine (4x noon, 1x afternoon)

3 slices of pork, a bit of mashed potatoes and veggies (noon)

1 black expresso (noon)

2 ham sandwiches (evening)

1 smoked truit trout filet (evening)

1 pack of salty buttery biscuits (evening)

4 purple balisto bars (evening)

 

Goals tracking

Have I done my exercise ? - Yes. 5' of walking.

Have I wandered around with water at my disposal ? Yes but am not doing it again today : the whole thing needs ajustments because, right now, it just means that I can carry 2 dl of water on me that will wet my pocket once in a while. What I need is a belt of preparedness. More on it (way) later.

Have I cooked this week ? No. Can't count what I've done as cooking yet.

Have I called a martial club ? No. Failed to do that : job took the upper hand. I need to work on that balance.

On Hold : Have I taken care of my internet site ? No.

 

 

 

 

 

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Thanks for the support, Arkania ! :-)

 

Food log

2 black coffee (1x morning, 1x afternoon)

small veggie soup (noon)

curry chicken with rice and veggies (noon)

chocolate mousse with whipped cream (noon)

1 glass of water (afternoon)

industrial ham sandwich (evening)

ice tea (50 cl - evening)

dried mango (100 g - evening)

1 plate of shepherd's pie (evening)

1 beer (25 cl - evening)

 

Goals tracking

Have I done my exercise ? Hell yes ! 5' of walking, warm up, 1A, cooldown. It's funny when the warm up is harder than the workout but hey, progress will be made. Forgot to do 3 reps of each exercise... xD Also, the stretching makes me realise just how stiff my body is. Gotta work on that.

On hold : Have I wandered around with water at my disposal ? No.

Have I cooked this week ? Yes.

Have I called my tai chi instructor to be ? Yep. Gonna take part to the next tuesday's lesson.

On hold : Have I taken care of my internet site ? No.

 

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Food log

2 slices of bread, butter, honey (early morning)

1 mug of coffee with plenty of sugar (morning)

1 black coffee (morning)

1 glass of water (morning)

2 plates of shepherd's pie (1x noon, 1x evening)

7.5 dl of water (afternoon)

5 glasses of applejuice (afternoon)

2 glasses of wine (evening)

 

Goals tracking

Have I done my exercise ? Yes. 5' of walking.

On hold : have I wandered around with water at my disposal ? No.

Have I cooked this week ? Yes.

Have I taken part to my first tai chi lesson ? No. Next tuesday.

On hold : have I taken care of my internet site ? Nope.

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I'm following this basically entirely because you posted a rad tardigrade gif on my thread and therefore must be worth following. And your thread seems to indicate you have reasonable goals and reasonable ways of thinking about them, so huzzah.

 

Also I like it when people write 5 minutes as 5' like in latitude and longitude so points for you there. 

 

 

 

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Hey, thanks ! That's because tardigrades are cool.

 

giphy.gif

 

Do you know what else is cool ?

 

Platipi* !

 

giphy.gif*

*You ignorant sod, this is an echidna ! Echidnas are cool too !

 

And today, I really needed the search for cute pics. Thanks for the opportunity. :-)

 

The theme of the day (deadlines all around) shows in my eating habits :

 

Food log

1 mug of coffee with plenty of sugar (morning)

Way too much black coffee (morning, noon, afternoon)

2 beers (late afternoon)

Industrial lasagna, chips and canned corn (evening)

A few drops of water from the tap

 

I woke up with plenty of enthusiasm at the idea of going out for a workout, but with no time to spare. Ended up forcing myself to go out in the night. I'm glad I did.

 

Goals tracking

Have I done my exercise ? Yes. 5' of walking (the ' is because I'm too lazy to write "min"), warm up, 1B, cool down.

On hold : have I wandered around with water at my disposal ? Hell no !

Have I cooked this week ? Yes.

Have I taken part to my first tai chi lesson ? Not yet. Next tuesday.

On hold : have I taken care of my internet site ? Nope.

 

 

 

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Food log

Mug of coffee with plenty of sugar (morning)

5 orange balisto bars (3x morning, 2x afternoon)

1 slice of bread, butter and honey

3l of water (throughout the day)

1.5 plates of sheperd's pie (1x noon, .5x evening)

1 truit trout filet (evening)

1 black coffeelike (evening)

1 ham sandwich (night)

1 can of corn (night)

 

Goals tracking

Have I done my exercise ? Yes, 5' of walking.

On hold : have I wandered around with water at my disposal ? No.

Have I cooked this week ? Yes.

Have I taken part to my first Tai chi lesson ? No, next tuesday.

On hold : have I taken care of my internet site ? Not yet.

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