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... "Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'"


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Sunday, November 21st:

Went out to run.

Didn't sleep enough.

Didn't eat enough.

 

Buckled up and ready to go. This week's got nothing on me.

 

 

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Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

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1 hour ago, Unix said:

learn to navigate

This.

 

Also, be kind with yourself, but not complacent. Sinking in itself isn't a failure, sinking and letting oneself drown is. Winning or not has nothing to do with how many times or how hard we fall but it has all to do with getting back up one more time than we've fallen.

 

Monday, November 22th:

Oh boy, what a day! I'm glad I'm through with it but, astonishingly enough, I'm not really tired. Guess there were a lot of things to be done but none of them was too spiritually crushing. Dealing with things we can handle is nice.

 

Did exercise.

Didn't eat enough.

Didn't sleep enough (like, at all).

Did my work hours (and then some).

 

 

  • Like 1

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

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Well, it's working. Seems I'm gaining influence in my work environment, which feels odd and triggers some impostor syndrom responses, especially since I'm in a "need for rest" situation that makes me feel like I'm performing way below my 100%. The counterpart is that I'm feeling a bit of exploited too, which  helps me feel good with whatever I achieve under current circumstances. Life... eh?

 

Tuesday, November 23rd:

Did run.

Ate barely enough, but enough.

Didn't sleep enough (oh man, what wonders would happen with one month of recovering and building myself a life?)

Did my work hours.

 

This one is for the music only which I find vers soothing:

  • Like 2

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

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Thinking about what this changes to my situation, in order to optimize my input. The remaining points I have to work on are:

  • my financial situation: the purpose is to find a way to leverage my job situation for this one.
  • my availability (time and energy): same, leveraging my job situation to have more flexibility while basically providing the same or better outputs at work (because of more availability).
  • my efficiency: focus on getting more organized, delegate, handle tasks in a way that gathers good will in order to increase my ability to delegate more.

I guess the way to start optimizing that is to take a low pressure day at work, do some organizing stuff and get readier for what's coming next. We're Wednesday, I can use that day for that. Tomorrow will be used to complete the required tasks for the week and Friday to reassess the situation and make a plan anchored in reality for moving forward. The real goal is to be ready for my next evaluation, whenever that may be, and have accrued enough political capital in order to get the flexibilization I'm aiming for.

 

Edit: alright, feels weird. For the people in a position of leadership reading this, I'd love to hear from you by PM (the stake is growing a one man structure into a full (small) department with influence over the rest of the organization). Thanks and enjoy your day!

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

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Turns out it was just that everything is going awry and I'm the only one semi-holding on and knowing what I'm doing. :D

 

I'm taking it as a testament to my resiliency, though it's less flattering than having it being due to my legendary leadership skills. Live and learn, I guess...

 

Wednesday, November 24th:

Did exercise.

Ate enough.

Didn't sleep enough.

Did my work hours.

 

  • Like 2

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

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11 hours ago, Jean said:

I'm taking it as a testament to my resiliency, though it's less flattering than having it being due to my legendary leadership skills. Live and learn, I guess...

 

Resiliency is a hell of a lot more difficult to learn than Leadership skills, and more difficult to retain as well.

 

Being a badass is not the sort of thing you should describe as "less flattering" when you look back on it and reflect on it. You persevered. Own it and flip off anyone who tries to belittle your efforts.

 

As for being in a Leadership position, and the inevitable impostor syndrome that comes with that, I'm in an unofficial one and I'm still growing into it, but I'm happy to compare notes and brainstorm over PMs if you're interested.

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Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30; Ch 31; Ch 32

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You are, of course, right. I guess the constent urge of "no rest and push on" that I've adopted in the current circumstances led me to think that, while resiliency is paramount and fundational, leadership comes on top of it and I shouldn't "restrain" myself to simply being resilient? My mental image for it is that resiliency is a passive trait: you stay firm while taking beatings, but in order to shine, one has to put up a fight of their own (which wouldn't be possible without resiliency). I mean, are there really people with leadership who fold and hide at the first sign of hardship? (Edit: now that I think about it, I'm very afraid there are and that is why we are screwed.)

 

I'll probably take you on on your offer for brainstorming (and thanks for that too), though I'll let my brain rest a bit before that. I... feel a bit lost in my surroundings right now to the point of starting to feel I'm the one with a broken view of the situation. It feels a bit weird to just see things nobody else notices time and time again, while they feel kind of obvious to you (and as such, are pretty hard to explain to those who don't see them). Who knows, maybe I'm the one hallucinating.

 

Anyway:

 

Thursday, November 25th:

Did run.

Didn't eat enough.

Didn't sleep enough.

Did my work hours.

 

The end of the week is pretty close, one more under my belt. Then taking a breath and diving again...

  • Like 1

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Jean said:

I'll probably take you on on your offer for brainstorming (and thanks for that too), though I'll let my brain rest a bit before that. I... feel a bit lost in my surroundings right now to the point of starting to feel I'm the one with a broken view of the situation. 

 

That's normal. Questioning your own perspective comes with the territory when growing into something. It'll pass, one way or another.

 

And no rush. Just send me a PM when you're ready, I'll be around. :) 

  • Thanks 1

Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29; Ch 30; Ch 31; Ch 32

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Enjoy!

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

Link to comment

A'right, I'm alive and breathing and nobody can take me down unless I let them. Things could be worse, let's make them better.

 

Friday, November 27th:

Did exercise.

Didn't eat enough.

Didn't sleep enough.

Did my work hours.

 

We're nearing the end of the month, I'll be challenged in the near future. Brace yourself, little soldier, be firm and don't give out what people should have to pry off your hands (well, they really should not have any business even thinking about trying to pry anything out if they had any manners but let's just focus on having them discover why you shouldn't pick a fight with a warrior).

 

Edit: or:

 

Legally bound to hug people in need.

 

Living life as a Druid is about walking with the beasts. It's about being scared, looking your fears in the eyes and going on anyway. Dread doesn't go away, you just learn to know it. It's still a beast, it still has fangs, but you walk among it.

Link to comment

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