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2 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I think you would be wise to defer the beast. Your biggest nemesis to recovery is over-training, and a Spartan Beast at this time qualifies.

Oh you are absolutely right. I am saying it out loud (in writing) because I know that it is what I should do. It is my own stubbornness that stops it from being a done deal. I am essentially looking to be talked out of doing it.

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2 minutes ago, jonfirestar said:

Oh you are absolutely right. I am saying it out loud (in writing) because I know that it is what I should do. It is my own stubbornness that stops it from being a done deal. I am essentially looking to be talked out of doing it.

Tough luck buddy. I care too much to tell you what you want to hear, rather than what's helpful.

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Just now, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Tough luck buddy. I care too much to tell you what you want to hear, rather than what's helpful.

I might just be too tired or something is being missed in translation. The reason I mentioned it was to be told that I shouldn’t run the race. I’m trying to talk myself out of wanting to do it because it’s stupid. Otherwise I’d have said nothing. 

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Just now, jonfirestar said:

I might just be too tired or something is being missed in translation. The reason I mentioned it was to be told that I shouldn’t run the race. I’m trying to talk myself out of wanting to do it because it’s stupid. Otherwise I’d have said nothing. 

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to be talked out of dropping the race. Hence my comment. Knowing now the true intent of your post, I do hereby amend my comment to "Got your back."

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14 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to be talked out of dropping the race. Hence my comment. Knowing now the true intent of your post, I do hereby amend my comment to "Got your back."

I'd never try and push the responsibility of me doing something that is wholeheartedly irresponsible off onto someone else. As much as there is a 'just do it' attitude among the Rangers I trust everyone enough to tell me when it is better not to do something. If I had resolved to do it I would have said nothing and accepted the entire responsibility. I'm trying to be less irresponsible when dealing with injury. 

 

The nagging, stubborn, grindy part of me thinks knows I can still do it. However the chance of me doing it without either setting back my recovery or causing more harm is far to small. I'm not the best at listening to myself over this stuff so by making the statement that I'm thinking of deferring I'm essentially just looking for reaffirmation that it's the right call to make. I don't know why it is hard for me to accept that on an emotional level but it kind of is. 

 

 

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16 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

Because 14kg is a small amount to lose? Although I hate to alarm you but my weight has dropped 2kg since yesterday! So it's only 12kg away now! That's just my weight normalising after the weekend I expect it to go down another .5-1kg still. You'd better get a move on! :P 

Nothing like a goal to work towards! Huh, I'm standing dead still, but good for you! Woot!

15 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

I'm thinking of deferring the Spartan Beast in September. I don't want to, because I really want to race it, but I do think I'm asking for trouble by doing it and especially by doing both the Beast and the Sprint that weekend. I'll still run the Sprint with @iatetheyeti on the Sunday.  

  • Negative. I don't get to run the Scottish Beast that I've been looking forward to. 
  • Positive: It actually gives me a full day to tourist in Edinburgh. I've never been to Edinburgh or Scotland and I would like to look around a bit.

I don't have to make a decision right away but I think it's the sensible one. 

Go with sensible, because if your fully healed you can always do the Beast next year, and tour of Edinburgh! If you push it... well...:cower:

15 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

I don't know how to describe it but it takes a few days for my body to adjust from being in calorie surplus to calorie deficit. Gnawing hunger is a side effect. I'm utterly unsure if it's entirely psychological or physical but it is a thing. It is like getting over a hump and it just gets easier afterwards. 

Just hang in there! Ride out the days till you're over the hump.

And awesome on the workouts! Woot! Woot!

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3 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

The nagging, stubborn, grindy part of me thinks knows I can still do it. However the chance of me doing it without either setting back my recovery or causing more harm is far to small. I'm not the best at listening to myself over this stuff so by making the statement that I'm thinking of deferring I'm essentially just looking for reaffirmation that it's the right call to make. I don't know why it is hard for me to accept that on an emotional level but it kind of is. 

 

I suspect part of the reason it's hard for you to accept not running is that running/racing/OCRs are something you feel like you have complete control over. Why is that sense of control important? Because by your own admission you feel like you don't have binge eating under control. You may be making up for feeling out of control in one area by focusing on an area where you do feel in control. The injury is outside of your control, so it's shaking your sense of control in the race/ocr area of your life, and the desire to run in spite of the injury comes from a desire to reassert your control over that area.

Maybe.

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3 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

I'm not the best at listening to myself over this stuff so by making the statement that I'm thinking of deferring I'm essentially just looking for reaffirmation that it's the right call to make.

 

You made the right choice. There will be other opportunities to seize and by deferring NOT to run the beast is as smart as you can get right now. SO, this is me affirming you that you made the right decision, brother.

 

Image result for deadpool love

 

Wolf

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6 minutes ago, Wolfpool said:

 

You made the right choice. There will be other opportunities to seize and by deferring NOT to run the beast is as smart as you can get right now. SO, this is me affirming you that you made the right decision, brother.

 

 

Seconding, thirding everyone else's comments.  I'm always of the mantra 'better safe than sorry' so it'd be easy for me to move towards deferring that to another time.  You'll have other opportunities down the road when you're in a better place and have the ability and mental/emotional resources to put 110% into it.  Take care of yourself first so you can obliterate that beast when the timing is right! <3

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3 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

Nothing like a goal to work towards! Huh, I'm standing dead still, but good for you! Woot!

Ahh it really just my weight normalising :) I've been through this often enough to recognise that! It was down another kilo this morning so I'm back at 105, which has made me happy and frustrated all at once because 105 is where I've sat the entire year! I'm happy it's not higher. 

 

4 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

Go with sensible, because if your fully healed you can always do the Beast next year, and tour of Edinburgh! If you push it... well...:cower:

 

I probably won't be racing the Spartan in Scotland next year. Maybe but if I do it'll be the Ultra rather than the Beast and I'm not all that excited for it right now (that might change once I get racing again). 

 

Of you mean this Tour of Edinburgh right? Honestly if I go back to Scotland next year It'll be more likely to run this race than the Spartan. 

 

4 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

Just hang in there! Ride out the days till you're over the hump.

And awesome on the workouts! Woot! Woot!

There is a box of cookies in the kitchen that has been teasing me all day but I'm getting there! 

 

1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I suspect part of the reason it's hard for you to accept not running is that running/racing/OCRs are something you feel like you have complete control over. Why is that sense of control important? Because by your own admission you feel like you don't have binge eating under control. You may be making up for feeling out of control in one area by focusing on an area where you do feel in control. The injury is outside of your control, so it's shaking your sense of control in the race/ocr area of your life, and the desire to run in spite of the injury comes from a desire to reassert your control over that area.

Maybe.

 

I don't know. I mean maybe, but I don't think it's as deep as that. I think it's just simply that I've been looking forward to this race. Not in the same way as RRDW or MvL which are huge challenge events, but just because it's in Scotland and I thought it was going to be the one race where I could really let loose. Not only can I not let loose (that is simply out of the question) I can't even do it. I really think I'm just disappointed. (I also don't like to be told I am unable do something on a very fundamental level).

 

1 hour ago, Wolfpool said:

You made the right choice. There will be other opportunities to seize and by deferring NOT to run the beast is as smart as you can get right now. SO, this is me affirming you that you made the right decision, brother.

 

I know but I'm still sad :( Running the Sprint with @iatetheyeti was always going to be much more fun than the Beast.

 

1 hour ago, shaar said:

'better safe than sorry'

 

Oh not me :) At least not when dealing with myself. If I were giving advice I'd tell anyone not to do it. I like to do big, scary and somewhat dangerous things. I'm just convinced that this is stupid and that tips the scale. 

 

1 hour ago, shaar said:

You'll have other opportunities down the road when you're in a better place and have the ability and mental/emotional resources to put 110% into it.

I still have another Beast my calendar (physio said this one is at a much more sensible time!) but it's not one that I have to get on a plane to do. I do get to run with @Rhovaniel and @iatetheyeti (maybe @Jarric but I don't think he's signed up yet). and it's going to be heaps of fun and in November we've got another big Ranger gathering!  Much better to be able to do those than this stupid solo run! 

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1 hour ago, jonfirestar said:

Of you mean this Tour of Edinburgh right? Honestly if I go back to Scotland next year It'll be more likely to run this race than the Spartan. 

No, you said...

6 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

It actually gives me a full day to tourist in Edinburgh. I've never been to Edinburgh or Scotland and I would like to look around a bit.

But whatever you do... please don't run any races within the next long while (except that sprint you said you'd do with Iatetheyeti on Sunday - I think, maybe not, not sure), until you have properly healed! There after you can slowly but surely build back up to Crazy Race Jon! I'm sorry for the disappointment with the race and all. *pat pat on the back*

1 hour ago, jonfirestar said:

There is a box of cookies in the kitchen that has been teasing me all day but I'm getting there! 

No! They are evil, you just can't hear the voices. You should really just ignore them, or better yet, throw them out. ;)

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1 hour ago, jonfirestar said:

There is a box of cookies in the kitchen that has been teasing me all day but I'm getting there!

You got this man! They're evil. Tasty evil, but they're EVIL!!! Nothing good can come of them.

 

7 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

I don't know why it is hard for me to accept that on an emotional level but it kind of is.

I know this feeling. Just ask my hip, I should've cut back on the running a couple of challenges ago rather than waiting until this one. But, I enjoy running and am running some of the fastest times I've had in decades. I didn't (still don't) want to accept what's best for me which would be to take a few weeks completely off. Instead of convinced myself of cutting down on time and distance and that I can take time off when the weather turns cold and icy. But, that's not until 3-4 months from now.

 

All that to say it would be hypocritical of me to say you should just do the smart thing (BTW - not running IS the smart thing to do). My own stubbornness prevents me from doing the smart thing many times as well. So, I will simply agree with you on what the smart thing to do is and acknowledge that I empathize on the "Why is it hard to do the smart thing" trials and tribulations.

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3 hours ago, Salinger said:

Hey Jon, how you feeling this evening? Thinking of you alot and hoping things ease up for you soon. Love to you always xx

I'm okay tonight :) thanks for asking. Really tired because I suck at sleep but I'm okay. 

 

1 hour ago, elizevdmerwe said:

No, you said..

Don't worry, it was a joke :) 

 

1 hour ago, elizevdmerwe said:

But whatever you do... please don't run any races within the next long while (except that sprint you said you'd do with Iatetheyeti on Sunday - I think, maybe not, not sure), until you have properly healed! There after you can slowly but surely build back up to Crazy Race Jon! I'm sorry for the disappointment with the race and all. *pat pat on the back*

 

I promise not to add any races for a while, how's that? The sprint is in a month and I've been banned from anything before then. So I had a race on Sunday that i missed and another one in 2 weeks that I'll also be missing. I was given a very tentative okay for the Beast but it was very much on the outside of being ok. An easy 5k at that time is well within bounds (assuming recovery is going ok, this whole thing assumes that) I mean no disrespect to Yeti at all when I say this but she is much slower than I am so I'll be going very easy alongside her and that is good. 

 

The same goes for the stuff I have in October. I've been given the OK (assuming everything is going to plan) but only if I take it easy and follow my running plan. 

 

2 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

No! They are evil, you just can't hear the voices. You should really just ignore them, or better yet, throw them out. ;)

 

1 hour ago, jstanlick said:

You got this man! They're evil. Tasty evil, but they're EVIL!!! Nothing good can come of them.

I did not succumb to the evil sugar cookies. In all honesty if I actually believed that I could have only one I might have had one but I have fallen for that trap far too often. So I had none. I'm much happier for it. 

 

1 hour ago, jstanlick said:

All that to say it would be hypocritical of me to say you should just do the smart thing (BTW - not running IS the smart thing to do). My own stubbornness prevents me from doing the smart thing many times as well. So, I will simply agree with you on what the smart thing to do is and acknowledge that I empathize on the "Why is it hard to do the smart thing" trials and tribulations.

 

That's pretty similar to the response I'd give to be honest. It is actually very unlike me to let something like this stop me at all. Very few times has training through an injury actually made things worse (although probably delayed healing). To be honest when things have gotten worse they got a lot worse (I've caused a stress fracture and torn my shoulder) and there is something about this injury despite it not being particularly painful that is giving me pause.

 

 

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Week 1, Wednesday! 

 

Quick update because it's getting late. Work was stressful. It's going to remain stressful for a while but I think I've managed to affect change so I can't complain.  There was a big tray of cookies at work all day long. I was able to ignore them for most of the day and resist them when the afternoon rolled round and I actually wanted them. 

 

I still haven't actually deferred the race. I was on the page but didn't click the button (that's in part due to the fee but it's not unreasonable and I can afford it). I've made up my mind to do it. It's just hard. 

 

Battling Bane:

2590 calories. A hard fought victory today! I am hungry tonight. I need to be at peace with going to sleep hungry if I actually want to lose weight. (I've essentially drawn the conclusion that I can't both not be hungry ever and be in a calorie deficit. I've tried for too long to make that happen. Manipulating when I feel hungry does work. I've had a lot of success doing it this way). 

 

Getting in Bat Shape

PT Work rest day

 Cycling workout done. 

 

I'm allowed to go for a very short run tomorrow. I discussed it with a few people and I am going to go ahead and do the run. It'll be a 5 minute walk, 5 minute run twice. I intend to keep this first one nice and easy and nurse the heck out of my achilles (that is to say I'm going to warm it thoroughly before the run, ice it after, wear my highest drop shoes and avoid anything that looks like an incline.)

 

Greasing the Groove. 

Totally missed today. Entirely because I was very busy at work. It's a fail but TBH I think having a rest day right now is probably better because I'm feeling the fatigue after yesterday's workout. 

 

Sleep

 

No improvement on yesterday. Have I ever mentioned I hate sleeping? 

 

giphy.gif

 

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9 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

Don't worry, it was a joke :) 

Part of me thought so :D but you know me... factual and didn't want any misunderstandings. You can do that other tour later as well ;)

9 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

I mean no disrespect to Yeti at all when I say this but she is much slower than I am so I'll be going very easy alongside her and that is good.

A good start then. You two will still be faster than me, for sure!

9 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

No improvement on yesterday. Have I ever mentioned I hate sleeping? 

Yip, might have heard that a time or two... I've been struggling with sleep as well. Firstly B has been in a chatty mood (for him) late at night (21h30-22h00), but it is understandably about the only time we get to talk where he can actually sit and listen (not working on his rally car or actual programming work), with no interruptions from the boys as they are in bed. But I've been waking up constantly sometime between 2h30-3h00am and I'm really tired getting max.6hrs broken sleep a night.

 

Go get the day, Batman! Don't sweat the stress at work, just ... go with the flow. I tried to find a picture of Batman relaxing, but ... I'll continue to search.

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3 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

Part of me thought so :D but you know me... factual and didn't want any misunderstandings. You can do that other tour later as well ;)

 

Yeah, you can usually assume that if it can be taken as a joke then I am probably at least half attempting to be funny. I'm used to people not really understanding that I am joking so don't worry too much. I like to make people smile but my wit is kind of dry. I am currently in no position to consider a road ultra marathon (that means no Comrades  either :(  although that'll require much more planning than a weekend trip to Scotland). 2019 by necessity needs to be parred down a little, not just because of injury but I'm going to dream big for 2020 and start putting money aside. I just need to decide on that nice big goal. :) 

 

3 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

A good start then. You two will still be faster than me, for sure!

I don't know about that! You've put in some really good times at your last couple of races. 

 

3 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

Yip, might have heard that a time or two... I've been struggling with sleep as well. Firstly B has been in a chatty mood (for him) late at night (21h30-22h00), but it is understandably about the only time we get to talk where he can actually sit and listen (not working on his rally car or actual programming work), with no interruptions from the boys as they are in bed. But I've been waking up constantly sometime between 2h30-3h00am and I'm really tired getting max.6hrs broken sleep a night.

 

Yeah my sleep thing is entirely on me I'm afraid. I'm just going to bed a little later than i should. I was slightly better last night, just 15 minutes past bedtime. I just feel better if I get to bed on time but the goal is there more to tackle the really erratic sleeping at the weekend.

 

3 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

Go get the day, Batman! Don't sweat the stress at work, just ... go with the flow. I tried to find a picture of Batman relaxing, but ... I'll continue to search.

This is the best I could do! He is going with the flow :) 

 

84034890.gif

 

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39 minutes ago, jonfirestar said:

I'm going to dream big for 2020 and start putting money aside. I just need to decide on that nice big goal. :) 

 

Why do I get the feeling it's going to be this? :D

Spoiler

Image result for man vs series medal

 

 

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36 minutes ago, Charlie_Quinn said:

Why do I get the feeling it's going to be this? :D

 

do want that but it's a logistical nightmare! I think, realistically, if you were to look at doing that you'd need to seriously think about taking advantage of the camping facilities just to keep costs down but there is no way I'd have wanted to have woken up in a tent the morning after MvL. Climbing out of a bed was hard enough work!

 

There is also the Double Mucker, a 4 lap attempt at Oblivion. Or even bigger things. I've seen some phenomenal races in the Lakes. A 50 or 100 miler? I need to find the thing that is exciting enough that I'm willing to commit to it almost 2 years out! 

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19 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

(maybe @Jarric but I don't think he's signed up yet)

 

I'm so bad at signing up for things! I will get it done soon though.

 

6 minutes ago, jonfirestar said:

 

do want that but it's a logistical nightmare! I think, realistically, if you were to look at doing that you'd need to seriously think about taking advantage of the camping facilities just to keep costs down but there is no way I'd have wanted to have woken up in a tent the morning after MvL. Climbing out of a bed was hard enough work!

 

There is also the Double Mucker, a 4 lap attempt at Oblivion. Or even bigger things. I've seen some phenomenal races in the Lakes. A 50 or 100 miler? I need to find the thing that is exciting enough that I'm willing to commit to it almost 2 years out! 

 

So many good choices. It mad seeing you look at committing to 2 years training towards something so massive. Mad and deeply impressive.

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5 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

 

do want that but it's a logistical nightmare! I think, realistically, if you were to look at doing that you'd need to seriously think about taking advantage of the camping facilities just to keep costs down but there is no way I'd have wanted to have woken up in a tent the morning after MvL. Climbing out of a bed was hard enough work!

That's one time splurging on a good hotel is always worth it!

 

5 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

There is also the Double Mucker, a 4 lap attempt at Oblivion. Or even bigger things. I've seen some phenomenal races in the Lakes. A 50 or 100 miler? I need to find the thing that is exciting enough that I'm willing to commit to it almost 2 years out! 

So longer, ultra running feels right for you?  It sounds tougher, and also more satisfying, than focusing on getting better on short courses.  Have you thought about something like the enduro-world OCR?

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19 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

that means no Comrades  either

When I saw that Man vs Lakes run, I thought to myself there is no way that you'll do the Comrades and NOT be bored out of your mind! Yes, there's nice scenery, but it's slogging on tar road for 90km. Up and down serious hills/passes. But you are more than welcome to do it.

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20 hours ago, Jarric said:

I'm so bad at signing up for things! I will get it done soon though.

You have to use your free race somewhere ;) 

 

20 hours ago, Jarric said:

So many good choices. It mad seeing you look at committing to 2 years training towards something so massive. Mad and deeply impressive.

There is a bit of a balance of getting something big enough to excite me, realistic in terms of how I'm going to make it happen (because there are bigger IRL goals that require vast amounts of money and take precedence over things like my race hobby) and achievable for my ability. So while  I fully intend to run a 100miler one day I'm not convinced I'll be ready in 18 months to 2 years. 

 

15 hours ago, Kestrel Grey said:

That's one time splurging on a good hotel is always worth it!

I agree but therein lies the problem. In order to get the full Mv medal in one year you'd need to do that 3 times and it simply racks up costs. The question becomes is the medal worth that much time and investment. I will run all 3 but probably not in the same year. 

 

15 hours ago, Kestrel Grey said:

So longer, ultra running feels right for you?  It sounds tougher, and also more satisfying, than focusing on getting better on short courses.

Yeah. I didn't know that I actually wanted to do things that were marathon length or longer. I liked the idea but until I did it I didn't actually know. Having done one really hard 50k I can say I like that distance. I do find it satisfying but I don't think it's any tougher than focusing on short courses. They are different and the training for both can be really tough. In general though you probably spend more time training if your goal is long endurance events. 

 

16 hours ago, Kestrel Grey said:

Have you thought about something like the enduro-world OCR?

Enduro-world is in Australia :) I mean I'd love to, really but that'd require a huge amount of planning and money to pull off. A goal for the future but not a priority. Realistically speaking, the Spartan 24 hour race in Iceland would be more possible. Or Europe's Toughest Mudder (especially if and when it comes back to the UK). Even World's Toughest Mudder so long as it's on the East Coast (although Georgia is far from ideal). I'm actually not entirely sure how I feel about doing ultra-distance OCRs vs regular Ultra Marathons. I'll probably do a mixture of both. 

 

3 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

When I saw that Man vs Lakes run, I thought to myself there is no way that you'll do the Comrades and NOT be bored out of your mind! Yes, there's nice scenery, but it's slogging on tar road for 90km. Up and down serious hills/passes. But you are more than welcome to do it.

I do like running trails far more than running roads but running something as big as Comrades in a place I've never experienced before would be amazing too! It's on my bucket list but I've got no timeline on it just yet. 

 

 

 

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