Onward

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2022 - Return of the Monk

Word of the Year: Drive

Sleep: 12 Hrs

Water: 4/8 Gallon

Weight: 239.8 lbs

 

Meals:

9:00am - 1/2 Banana

11:00am - Cup of cereal & peaches

2:30pm - Taco, rice, 4oz soda

6:00pm - cheese burger, fries, shake

 

Fitness: 

None

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

30 Min Conversation 

 

Reading:

None

 

Notes:

Internet is fixed and treadmill is set up. Ready to get more serious about my rebound to health. Spent a little time on the treadmill the other day and WOW am I out of shape. Have to start somewhere I suppose. Also incorporating a fitness boxing program from Beachbody. Committing to 6 weeks of workouts (7 including upcoming vacation.) We’ll see how it pans out.

[chibi-nerd]

It's so disheartening when you lose fitness for some reason and have to start again! The trick for me is to concentrate on goals like "4 workouts a week" rather than "run 5k" or "Bench press half my weight", neither of which I've ever been able to do, so why did I pick those?? LOL!

 

[Jupiter]

Hey, just checking in, hope you are doing okay. 

[ReturnOfTheDad]

12 hours ago, Jupiter said:

 

Hey, just checking in, hope you are doing okay.

 

Thanks so much, it’s continued to be rough with work and medication stuff taking a toll. I appreciate the check in though. Been doing some work on acceptance of things as they are and shuffling some work stuff, so hopefully this week will be better.

 

I’ll try and do better on posting. I know it helps it’s just getting the energy to do it some times is a bit of a battle.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2022 - Return of the Monk

Word of the Year: Drive

Sleep: 10 Hrs

Water: 2/8 Gallon

Weight: 243.0 lbs

 

Meals:

9:00am - Cereal, Coffee

10:00am - Coffee

2:00pm - Burrito and soda

5:00pm - Taco

8:00pm - Ice cream

 

Fitness: 

30 min MMA workout

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

None

 

Reading:

30 min

 

Notes:

A few days late but excited to celebrate 6 years of sobriety. Being in recovery for such a life crushing addiction is a beautiful relief. ‘Simple but not easy’ is a phrase I’ve been told about living sober. I’m very glad to be surrounded by such a supportive community, including the family here at Nerd Fitness, so from the bottom of my heart, thanks Nerds!

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2022 - Return of the Monk

Word of the Year: Drive

Sleep: 10 Hrs

Water: 4/8 Gallon

Weight: 243.0 lbs

 

Meals:

9:00am - Cereal, Coffee

10:00am - 1/2 PB Sandwich, Coffee

1:00pm - Protein shake

5:00pm - Meats and cheeses, diet soda

7:00pm - dumplings

 

Fitness: 

Jujitsu

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

None

 

Reading:

90 min

 

Notes:

First day back in a while for jujitsu and felt completely gassed. Only way to get more conditioning is to do it. Onward to tomorrow.

[AwayLifter]

What Language are you learning? Spanish?

 

im learning French.

[chibi-nerd]

On 8/23/2022 at 10:55 PM, ReturnOfTheDad said:

Language:

None

Do you use Anki? Excellent app for memorising vocab etc.

 

[ReturnOfTheDad]

18 hours ago, AwayLifter said:

What Language are you learning? Spanish?

 

im learning French.

Yup, learning Spanish. Mainly for work.

 

14 hours ago, chibi-nerd said:

Do you use Anki? Excellent app for memorising vocab etc.

 

I currently use Babel but also have weekly conversation sessions with peers and lessons from tutors. I’m very fortunate to have some good contacts that are helping me grow in my language pursuits. Anki  sounds interesting, I’ll have to check it out.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2022 - Return of the Monk

Word of the Year: Drive

Sleep: 10 Hrs

Water: 3/8 Gallon

Weight: 241.3 lbs

 

Meals:

8:00am - toast, coffee

11:00am - Coffee

12:00pm - Taco and chips

4:00pm - PB&J, coffee

6:00pm - Salmon, couscous, veggies, juice

 

Fitness: 

50lb Sandbag Conditioning

Treadmill - 1 Mile

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

None

 

Reading:

90 min

 

Notes:

Starting to get into a groove, interested to see if I can continue it through the week.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

Crazy day, Mrs.ReturnOfTheDad got food poisoning so was pitching in with kiddos and house stuff today. Still got a chance to take the little and dog for 1.5 mile walk, but kind of blew it over eating at dinner. The honing process continues, especially on the diet side.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

It’s been really hit and miss on the workout and diet, and sleep, and everything situation. Whole family caught the flu so it’s been a rough couple of weeks. But, hopefully things are finally coming together. Just going to be jotting down workouts until I can get my diet figured out as well. Tackling this bit by bit.

 

Weight: 241.8 lbs

 

Workouts -

Resistance: Chest/Abs

Cardio: Treadmill - 3 miles

[chibi-nerd]

Wah! Diet. That's the hardest part. Exercise is fun, but unless you're odd, diet isn't.  I like figuring out what I should eat, don't like eating it so much.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

Can’t seem to get on track, trying too many things at once so I think I’m just going to focus on walking every day for a while. It’s a far cry from the athleticism I had just a few years ago, but have to start somewhere and after a visit to the State Fair of Texas, I’m back close to 250 lbs. which means over the last month I lost all the hard work of the previous 6.

 

Time to turn it around…

[Jupiter]

4 hours ago, ReturnOfTheDad said:

Can’t seem to get on track, trying too many things at once so I think I’m just going to focus on walking every day for a while. It’s a far cry from the athleticism I had just a few years ago, but have to start somewhere and after a visit to the State Fair of Texas, I’m back close to 250 lbs. which means over the last month I lost all the hard work of the previous 6.

 

Time to turn it around…

 

 

[RubiksCat]

On 10/11/2022 at 10:03 AM, ReturnOfTheDad said:

Can’t seem to get on track, trying too many things at once so I think I’m just going to focus on walking every day for a while. It’s a far cry from the athleticism I had just a few years ago, but have to start somewhere and after a visit to the State Fair of Texas, I’m back close to 250 lbs. which means over the last month I lost all the hard work of the previous 6.

 

Time to turn it around…

From a fellow Texan those State Fairs can be murder to someone's will power. I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. I'm sure State Fairs will even deep fry the shirt right off a tourist's back.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

Well, another slow down, I caught a cold. Either caught it at the state fair or from my 2 year old niece who was visiting and already starting to get sick which is probably more likely.  On the upside I lost 10lbs, we’ll see if it stays off once I’m back up and running. 

[Jupiter]

1 hour ago, ReturnOfTheDad said:

Well, another slow down, I caught a cold. Either caught it at the state fair or from my 2 year old niece who was visiting and already starting to get sick which is probably more likely.  On the upside I lost 10lbs, we’ll see if it stays off once I’m back up and running. 

 

Uh oh, hope you feel better soon. 

[ReturnOfTheDad]

Well, I survived the cold, but was still having problems getting into gear. I started falling into a depression and didn’t know what was going on. Goodness knows I’m taking enough meds, but then something very telling happened - my hair started falling out. Not clumps but certainly handfuls in the shower and shedding like a German Shepard in spring every where else. I looked it up online and I think I may be having an issue with my thyroid as a result of one of the mood stabilizers I’m on.
 

I didn’t want to face the fact that I may need even more medication, but I’d rather not keep going with the lack of energy, depression and hair loss I’m currently experiencing. I went ahead and scheduled a doctors appointment for tomorrow. Hoping he has some answers for me.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2022 - Return of the Monk

Word of the Year: Drive

Sleep: 10 Hrs

Water: 3/8 Gallon

Weight: 241.4 lbs

 

Meals:

10:00am - Pop Tart and muffin, coffee

1:00pm - Cheese pizza, soda, coffee

5:30pm - Snack cake, coffee

6:00pm - Sandwich, fries, salad

 

Fitness: 

Treadmill - 20 Minutes 

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

None

 

Reading:

None

 

Notes:

Forced myself to get on the treadmill today, did a 5 minute warm up and 15 minutes of jogging and I was spent. Somewhere to build from I suppose. I also talked to my Sponsor today and got honest about some things, namely I haven’t been doing as much for my recovery as I usually do and worked with him on a plan to improve things. It’s going to be a busy week, but I think that’s what I need right now.

 

I also think I need this, writing and posting so I have a record of what I’m doing. Just looking at today I can see I’m not eating great. Taking some more time to make healthy choices is something I need to do.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2022 - Return of the Monk

Word of the Year: Drive

Sleep: 10 Hrs

Water: 3/8 Gallon

Weight: 241.0 lbs

 

Meals:

11:00am - breakfast burritos, coffee

1:00pm - small popcorn, Diet Coke

2:30pm - Coffee

4:30pm - 1/2 Pretzel, sweet tea

6:00pm - Chicken, salad

8:30pm - 1/2 Bagel w/ cream cheese

 

Fitness: 

None

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

None

 

Reading:

None

 

Notes:

Woke up with what has become the usual difficulty since starting these new sleep meds. It’s better than the meds before but it’s still a battle just to get my feet on the floor. Really going to be working on that this week. Talked to my Doctor and he seems to think it’s daylight savings time. Time will tell.

 

Talked with my doctor about some of my symptoms and it looks like I’m having another reaction to my mood stabilizer so another med change. This time it will be a gradual switch over 6 weeks which I’m not terribly excited about, but the doctor seems to think it will work.

 

Didn’t workout today but also didn’t eat terrible so it’s kind of a wash.

[RubiksCat]

On 11/13/2022 at 9:54 PM, ReturnOfTheDad said:

Forced myself to get on the treadmill today, did a 5 minute warm up and 15 minutes of jogging and I was spent. Somewhere to build from I suppose. I also talked to my Sponsor today and got honest about some things, namely I haven’t been doing as much for my recovery as I usually do and worked with him on a plan to improve things. It’s going to be a busy week, but I think that’s what I need right now.

 

I also think I need this, writing and posting so I have a record of what I’m doing. Just looking at today I can see I’m not eating great. Taking some more time to make healthy choices is something I need to do.

What's a sponsor? Is it like a professional counselor you see on a regular basis? Do you have to pay for their services?

 

Even if it's only 15 minutes of jogging, that's better than nothing. Better than how I've been exercising (or lack of....)

[ReturnOfTheDad]

8 hours ago, RubiksCat said:

What's a sponsor? Is it like a professional counselor you see on a regular basis? Do you have to pay for their services?

Sponsors are typically a mentor in a recovery program . I’m in recovery for alcoholism (6 years sober) and a Sponsor has been critical for me. In my experience it’s someone who has more experience than you that you can talk to about life stuff and get guidance from their life experience as well as guidance in the recovery program. It’s free, the only payment is to pay it forward by sponsoring others when you are ready.  We usually talk weekly, sometimes more, sometimes less, it varies with every sponsorship relationship from what I’ve seen.

 

I do have a counselor I see biweekly mainly for my bipolar as a checkin to see how I’m doing from a mental health perspective. They definitely are not free but a large portion is covered by insurance so I’m very fortunate to go fairly regularly. They are different than a sponsor mainly because one is very specifically for alcoholism and one is for general mental health (though my councilor has a specialty in bipolar) but there is a surprising amount of overlap. Happy to answer any other question on this, you never know who it might help.

 

9 hours ago, RubiksCat said:

Even if it's only 15 minutes of jogging, that's better than nothing. Better than how I've been exercising (or lack of....)

Thanks, true. We’ll get there. 👍🏼

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2022 - Return of the Monk

Word of the Year: Drive

Sleep: 10 Hrs

Water: 3/8 Gallon

Weight: 241.2 lbs

 

Meals:

8:00am - cereal, coffee

11:00pm - 2 Pizza pieces, soda

1:30pm - 1/2 quesadilla, iced tea 

3:30pm - 1/2 quesadilla, iced tea

7:30pm - 2 Corn dogs, salad

 

Fitness: 

None

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

None

 

Reading:

None

 

Notes:

Today was a rough day. Mrs.ReturnOfTheDad’s Grandmother passed away, so that’s going to be tough to get through. The funeral is in Pennsylvania this weekend and while we won’t be able to make it to that, there is going to be a memorial around the holidays so all the grandkids and great grand kids can be there. 

 

Then my boss told me he turned in his resignation yesterday. I think the world of this man, he’s one of the main reasons I came to work at this company. He’s become more than a mentor, he’s become a friend, and I’m really going to miss working with him. Really going to try and stay in touch with him, but going to be rough not having his guidance and leadership on the regular.

 

Finally, today I had two close friends separately make some inappropriate advances and confess they cared about me in more than a friendly way. We talked it out that they mean a lot to me but I’m very much in love and committed to Mrs. ReturnOfTheDad. I hope I’m able to salvage those friendships, but I don’t know now that the cards are on the table. I’m going to move forward with care and tolerance and see what happens. Open to recommendations if anyone reading this has been through it. I was on the other side once in college and I shared my feelings, learned I was not her type and  never talked to her again. I wonder if that’s going to be the case here. They could also keep pushing, in which cases some healthy boundaries will be in order.

 

May as well let the cat out of the bag if I haven’t already and it applies to the situation. I’m Bi/Pansexual, and one of the incidents was with a Guy friend and was a little more aggressive and one was a Girl Friend and was surprising subtle until she wasn’t. In case anyone is wondering, I have what I think is a good marraige to a straight woman. We love each other and have a good thing going. We’ve built a life together with a home and children that I truly love to be a part of. Sometimes it’s odd being in a straight relationship at least for me, but it works for us and we’ve found continent and happiness together for the last 19 years.

 

I feel a little chaotic writing  all this, but today was all over the place and feeling a deep need to get it out in writing. With all this going on at least the new medication is keeping me calm through all this. I go up another dose next week and am curious how it will go, we’ll see.

 

Open to recommendations and questions, goodness know these are some weird situations that could probably use some feedback.

 

Oh, and no exercise happened today, plan is to catch up tomorrow. Will keep y’all posted.

 

Onward…

[RubiksCat]

Sounds like you've been going through a rougher time than usual... I'm at least glad you've got people in your corner you can lean on, that's always important.

 

Other than price... that's the only other question I would have about counseling. I would look for a counselor myself but I don't have insurance (yet) and don't want to pay $100+ per session.