Onward

[ReturnOfTheDad]

6 hours ago, RubiksCat said:

Other than price... that's the only other question I would have about counseling. I would look for a counselor myself but I don't have insurance (yet) and don't want to pay $100+ per session.

You may want to consider virtual therapy, prices for that are around $50-75 from what I hear. Just a thought.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2022 - Return of the Monk

Word of the Year: Drive

Sleep: 9 Hrs

Water: 4/8 Gallon

Weight: Didn’t weigh in

 

Meals:

8:00am - cereal, coffee

11:00am - Cheesy bread, chips and coffee

1:30pm - Sandwich and soda

4:00pm -  Coffee

6:00pm - Tacos and soda

 

Fitness: 

None

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

None

 

Reading:

None

 

Notes:

Today was a bit better. More of the same with my Dad in the hospital, but at least he is getting good care. Got to a recovery meeting, which has been helping. 

 

Still no workout today, the desire is there just not the energy. I think I may just focus on walking this week to try and get some stamina. Didn’t realize I was so out of shape after being sick for the better part of a month.

 

Did have more water today, so that was good.

 

Oh well, tomorrow is a new day.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

Rough day with my Dad in the hospital, I guess we can call him ReturnOfTheDad Sr., his prognosis is undetermined and he is probably going to be in the hospital for a while. It’s a stress and a weight especially since there is some other family drama going on. Ate bad yesterday and didn’t exercise, but did get some work done and made it to the hospital, which I feel like was more important. Have a birthday party tonight for one of my sons friends, so that will be a good break for the family. Still going to try and get some time on the treadmill today, but recently just trying to put my mental health first.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

In survival mode, ReturnOfTheDad Sr. is still in the hospital and now both kids are sick (not with the same thing thankfully, one has a cough and the other might have pink eye). Feels like it’s coming from all sides so sticking to what I can control: enough sleep, healthy meals, recovery activities and sticking to my medications.

 

Will try to keep posting here as well. It’s therapeutic and a source of accountability for my health and well being.

 

Really glad this forum exists. On to another day.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2022 - Return of the Monk

Word of the Year: Drive

Sleep: 12 Hrs

Water: 7/8 Gallon

Weight: 243.0

 

Meals:

9:00am - Toast, coffee

12:00pm - Thanksgiving left overs

3:00pm - 1/2 PB Sandwich 

6:00pm - Thanksgiving left overs

 

Fitness: 

Treadmill - 3 Miles

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

None

 

Reading:

5 Min

 

Notes:

Today was a much needed break from the hospital (ReturnOfTheDad Sr. is still fighting this thing). They are chalking his symptoms up to a severe form of a pretty a every day disease. Hoping he can go home soon and at the same time worried that the pain he has still isn’t under control and not sure how they are going to manage that or how it is going to effect his quality of life. We’re all just tired at this point, him most of all. Whatever the new routine is I hope we get there soon. In the meantime going to try and develop a schedule to maintain my own health and sanity while helping to support his.

On the upside both kids are well, the one with the cough recovered in a couple of days and the one we thought had pink eye turns out he got hit in the eye with a pillow during a pillow fight at a friends birthday party (unsanctioned pillow fight of course and was quickly broken up by one of the moms). His the whites of his eye were red but got better over a couple of days.

 

Current goal is to do at least 3 miles a day on the treadmill and work my way up to 5 a day. Will incorporate resistance training as I can. Shoulder is still bugging me so may need to see a doctor and do some PT before going too hard into that. Will take it a day at a time and see how it shakes out.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2022 - Return of the Monk

Word of the Year: Drive

Sleep: 10 Hrs

Water: 4/8 Gallon

Weight: 242.6

 

Meals:

9:00am - Toast, coffee

12:00pm - Sandwich, Iced Tea

3:00pm - Sesame chicken, fried rice

6:00pm - 1/2 Grilled cheese, pear slices

 

Fitness: 

Rest Day

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

None

 

Reading:

None

 

Notes:

Good news (relatively speaking) they found the mystery disease giving ReturnOfTheDad Sr. so much trouble. On the upside he gets to go home, on the downside recovery is 3 months so it’s still pretty serious. Going to do the best I can to help him on his road to recovery.

 

On the fitness side I was ridiculously sore from my run yesterday so decided to take a rest day. Will make it a point to get back to it tomorrow and try for 3 runs with a rest day or light workout in between.

 

Diet and hydration went okay today. Starting to realize I’m not as hungry on this new medication, which is helping me make sensible food choices for my activity level that day.

 

Mentally and emotionally I’m spent. All this time running back and forth to the hospital  has me wiped out. Getting back to work tomorrow I think will help bring some structure back, at least until the next holiday break.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2022 - Return of the Monk

Word of the Year: Drive

Sleep: 11 Hrs

Water: 3/8 Gallon

Weight: 241.8

 

Meals:

12:00pm - Ramen, Green Tea

5:00pm - Chicken Soup, yogurt raisins

8:00pm - Cookie and eggnog

 

Fitness: 

None

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

None

 

Reading:

None

 

Notes:

Busy day, visited with ReturnOfTheDad Sr., no exercise but kept on healthy eating choices for the most part.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2022 - Return of the Monk

Word of the Year: Drive

Sleep: 11 Hrs

Water: 4/8 Gallon

Weight: 240.4

 

Meals:

10:30am - Tea

12:00pm - Sandwich, apple sauce, Tea

4:00pm - 1/2 PB Sandwich, Tea

9:00pm - Cookie, chips, eggnog

 

Fitness: 

None

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

None

 

Reading:

None

 

Notes:

Feel like I’ve been hungover from the sleep medication and slept almost 12 hours. Can’t keep doing this. Talked to the doctor and going to start coming down on the sleep medication. Would like to get off of it completely but time will tell.

 

On the upside my weight loss is progressing, hit 240.4 lbs today so firmly out of 250 lb territory. On to 230!

 

Exercise didn’t happen today. Just poor time management on my part. I don’t know that tomorrow will be any different unless I get up super early, which hasn’t been happening with the new medication. 

 

Blew by diet at the end of the day, just waited too long to eat. Did make it to a recovery meeting and saw a friend celebrate 3 years of recovery which was rewarding.

 

It was a day of ups and downs. It may be that way for a while, because the rush to the end of the year is definitely on.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

Been going through another med change (one more change to go In January) so been a little off. Going to work on posting more for logging purposes. Also will help keep more even through the craziness of the holidays. Going to have family in town this week, then visiting family in Pennsylvania between Christmas and New Years. All that with 2 small children, going to be an experience.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2022 - Return of the Monk

Word of the Year: Drive

Sleep: 11 Hrs

Water: 6/8 Gallon

Weight: 238.4

 

Meals:

10:30am - Coffee

12:00am - Chicken tacos, beans, rice, Coffee

3:00pm - Tortilla w/ butter, Coffee

6:00pm - BBQ pork cheese fries

 

Fitness: 

Run - 1.7 Miles

Stretching

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

None

 

Reading:

None

 

Notes:

Lost progress on weight and activity process the last couple of days. Been off of work which is a very stabilizing force in my life. The new medication change is messing with me per usual. Only 2 more months of changes to go so I’m at more or less the half way mark. Unpleasant as it is I’m noticing positive changes like more energy, just figuring out how to re-channel that into healthy things like exercise and not anger and anxiety is going to be key.

 

Exercise happened today. Also some stretching which I haven’t done in a while.

 

Holiday plans are all up in the air as littlest one is sick, may even have to cancel our out of town trip. Will just to wait and see. For the time being going to focus on the basics of getting good sleep, food, hydration and exercise.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2022 - Return of the Monk

Word of the Year: Drive

Sleep: 10 Hrs

Water: 6/8 Gallon

Weight: Didn’t Weigh In

 

Meals:

Holiday - No tracking today

 

Fitness: 

HIIT Training

Stretching

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

None

 

Reading:

None

 

Notes:

Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate!

 

Christmas was okay today, have a flight out tomorrow for a memorial service for Mrs. ReturnOfTheDad’s Grandmother, so spent most of the holiday packing, which wasn’t how we planned to spend the day, but these things happen.

 

Still got some exercise in, though REALLY didn’t feel like it. So out of shape that the energy just isn’t there but hopefully that will change with time. Taking my running shoes and exercise clothes with me on the trip and will try to stay motivated to get in at least thirty minutes a day while I’m out of town.

[RubiksCat]

[ReturnOfTheDad]

On 12/26/2022 at 6:20 PM, RubiksCat said:

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Merry Christmas to you too! Hope the New Year is a good one. 😊 

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2022 - Return of the Monk

Word of the Year: Drive

Sleep: 13 Hrs

Water: 5/8 Gallon

Weight: 240.0 lbs

 

Meals:

11:30am - Coffee

1:00pm - Chorizo/Egg/Cheese Tacos, orange soda

6:00pm - Fish sticks, fríes, peas

 

Fitness: 

None

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

None

 

Reading:

None

 

Notes:

Incoming recap post from this week:

 

First trip in airplane for the little ones. Check in to the airport was mostly uneventful minus some of the kids Goojitsu toys prompting a security check.

 

Getting into the airport with two car seats and renting a car was a nightmare. The seats themselves just aren’t built to be transportable on the luggage trolleys you can rent. I think we should have just split the difference by renting them at the rent-a-car place but Mrs.ReturnOfTheDad wanted to save a few bucks. I will reserve further comment…

 

Time with Mrs.ReturnOfTheDad’s family was a lot. It was fun getting to know her cousins, but there was just zero downtime between hanging out and taking care of the kids. By the last night my nerves were frayed, Mrs.ReturnOfTheDad and I had some disagreements over what the kids would eat for dinner and she just disappeared without saying anything and came back with the kids preferred junk food. Forgiveness rather than cooperation situation, and we had some words. Thankfully we handled it like adults and I was very careful with what I said, but I found it worrying to have your spouse disappear in a place you aren’t familiar with to do what she wanted to do and leave an unsuspecting spouse with two kids and no idea where they went. Rant over.

 

Needless to say throughout all this exercise didn’t happen, although there was a very nice gym where we were staying. That was my biggest regret of the trip is not taking better self care of myself to exercise, journal, and get to a recovery meeting, which was sorely needed by the end of the trip. I did stay scheduled on my meds and some phone calls to my support people, but outside of that was a minor train wreck.

 

The flight back through Dulles was your typical difficulties, wrangling children and baggage through an endless sea of people, machines, and minor dramas. The whole affair was memorable, but definitely not looking to repeat it for some time.

 

Today we got our dog back from the boarders only to find he had been aggressive with the groomers who were supposed to give him a bath and trim his nails. I guess it was a lot for him and he felt overwhelmed. I can definitely understand that feeling.

 

Ended up crashing on the couch and slept for a few hours instead of exercising. Going to work on getting back on track tomorrow but still exhausted from traveling.

 

On to tomorrow.

[RubiksCat]

Sounds like quite an ordeal. We can't flap our arms and fly to our destinations or rent our own private jets so what can we do other than put up with airport staff? Sorry to hear about your fall out with Mrs ReturnofTheDad, it's nice knowing love can weather practically any storm.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2022 - Return of the Monk

Word of the Year: Drive

Sleep: 12 Hrs

Water: 6/8 Gallon

Weight: 239.6 lbs

 

Meals:

10:30am - Coffee

11:30am - 1/2 Sandwich and cup of soup

2:30pm - 1/2 Sandwich and popcorn, latte

6:00pm - Steak, potatoes, veggies

 

Fitness: 

1/2 mile walk

2 miles treadmill

1/2 mile walk

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

None

 

Reading:

None

 

Notes:

Still catching up on sleep, will work on getting to bed earlier and up earlier. Have to be on a regular sleep schedule by Tuesday when I go back to work and yet another reminder I have to stick to a regular sleeping schedule when I’m traveling.

 

Got to see some early fireworks from the neighbors, kids loved it and everyone was safe. Ready for this year to done.

 

On to 2023!

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2023 - The Long Game

Word of the Year: Balance

Sleep: 12 Hrs

Water: 7/8 Gallon

Weight: 239.0 lbs

 

Meals:

10:30am - Coffee

11:30pm - biscuits and gravy, egg, coffee

3:00pm - Granola bar, PB, Coffee

6:00pm - Burger, veggies 

 

Fitness: 

1/2 mile walk

3 miles on Treadmill

1/2 mile walk

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

10 Min Spanish

 

Reading:

15 min

 

Notes:

Weight is slowly coming back down. Gained a solid 5 lbs over last week, going to probably take a few weeks to make it up and gain headway.

 

Did some constructive things today, got back to my online Spanish training and also got in some time reading today.

 

Took some before picture that I’ll revisit at the end of the year. Going to work towards this being a year of big changes.

 

I picked a new word for the year, that word being balance, that’s something I sorely lacked last year, largely due to battles with medication and lack of energy. Going to work this year on my boundaries and making time for the important things rather than the urgent things. Also a new title, The Long Game, as I plan on consistent incremental changes towards the end goal of being in a healthier and more balanced place by the end of the year.

 

Back to work and the new normal schedule tomorrow. Onward.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2023 - The Long Game

Word of the Year: Balance

Sleep: 12 Hrs

Water: 1 Gallon *Cheers!*

Weight: 238.4 lbs

 

Meals:

9:00am - Coffee

11:30am - Breakfast taco, toast, coffee

3:00pm - Sandwich, chips, coffee

6:00pm - Steak nachos

 

Fitness: 

1.5 miles treadmill

Chest/Back/Abs Resistance

1/2 mile walk

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

10 Min Spanish

 

Reading:

15 min

 

Notes:

Another day down, still battling getting up on time, will try again tomorrow.

 

Finally getting my water intake back up. A lot easier when I’m more active.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2023 - The Long Game

Word of the Year: Balance

Sleep: 11 Hrs

Water: 4/8 Gallon 

Weight: 239.6 lbs

 

Meals:

8:00am - Coffee

11:00am - Cup of cereal, coffee

1:00pm - Chicken & Pasta, sweet tea 

7:00pm - Pork fried rice, boba tea

 

Fitness: 

1/2 mile walk

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

30 Min Spanish Conversation 

 

Reading:

0 min

 

Notes:

Up on weight for the day. Had a lot of salt so might be water weight. Will try to watch that today and see how things go on the scale tomorrow.

 

Had a good lunch with a friend today but the rest of the day was rough. Didn’t get my second walk or exercise in. Looking at getting the kids involved in gymnastics which is an ordeal in itself. Since they are different ages they have to be in separate classes which back to back are 2 hours, add another 30 minutes of travel time each way and that is 2 x 3 hour blocks twice a week, which looks like it’s going to be on back to back days for this semester and the cost a couple hundred dollars each month and I’m left a bit out of sorts. I heard kids are expensive and I guess we’re getting to that age. Still smarts a bit.

 

Ate bad at lunch and dinner so I’m sure tomorrow the scale is going to show it. Also need to figure out a new workout regimen around the kids classes. Feels like a lot today. Not sure how tomorrow will go but hope it’s better than today was.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2023 - The Long Game

Word of the Year: Balance

Sleep: 12 Hrs

Water: 6/8 Gallon 

Weight: 240.4 lbs

 

Meals:

9:30am - Coffee

11:30am - Toast, eggs, coffee

3:00pm - Breakfast taco, coffee 

6:00pm - chicken, potatoes, veggies

9:00pm - Scoop of PB, milk

 

Fitness: 

1/2 mile walk

3 mile treadmill

1/2 mile walk

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

10 Min Spanish Online Lesson

 

Reading:

0 min

 

Notes:

Feel awful today, all the stress and stress eating caught up with me on the scale. Have to get back to clean eating and hydrating today. Talked some more with Mrs.ReturnOfTheDad and we decided instead of 2x2 hour sessions for the kids in gymnastics we would spread it out to 4x1 hour sessions, which is a bit more manageable for our schedule but we are going to be at that gym A LOT. It all gave me a lot of anxiety which prompted me to take some anxiety medication, but I forgot that when taken with my sleep meds gives me a headache when I wake up in the morning. I feel beat up and tired and not ready to face the day. I can say I am thankful to have a flexible job that allows for me to manage my schedule sometimes on difficult days like today. 

 

As far as a recovery plan for my health I suppose it’s just back to normal: Intermittent Fasting, smaller meal portions, Exercise and hydration. I may even extend my fasting cycle since I just ate so much yesterday, will still eat before I exercise to make sure I feel okay. Just trying to figure out a protocol for when my life and health feel like they go off the rails and have to pull things back together.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2023 - The Long Game

Word of the Year: Balance

Sleep: 12 Hrs

Water: 4/8 Gallon 

Weight: 239.4 lbs

 

Meals:

9:30am - Coffee

11:00am - Pasta, chicken, cupcake, coffee

3:00pm - Sandwich, Coffee

6:00pm - chips/Salsa, Chicken and salad, soda

 

Fitness: 

1 mile walk

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

60 Min Spanish Conversation

 

Reading:

0 min

 

Notes:

Weight is coming back down again. Still feeling awful and tired when I wake up.

 

Today was a test day before my long run tomorrow. Was hoping to go golfing but the day got away from me. We’ll se how the long run tomorrow and next week goes.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2023 - The Long Game

Word of the Year: Balance

Sleep: 8 Hrs

Water: 7/8 Gallon 

Weight: 240.4 lbs

 

Meals:

8:00am - Coffee

9:30am - Eggs, toast, tomatoes, coffee

1:00pm - Yogurt, cheese, apple sauce, hot pocket

3:00pm - Coffee and popcorn

6:00pm - Chicken, quinoa, peas, ice cream

9:00pm - PB Cup and milk

 

Fitness: 

1 mile walk

5 mile treadmill 

1 mile walk

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

0 Min Spanish

 

Reading:

0 min

 

Notes:

Finally knocked out my first 5 miles! Run went pretty good, feet got sore on the last mile but I figure that will get better with time and weight loss.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

2023 - The Long Game

Word of the Year: Balance

Sleep: 11 Hrs

Water: 6/8 Gallon 

Weight: 240.0 lbs

 

Meals:

10:00am - Coffee

12:30am - Sub Sandwich, Sweet Tea

2:00pm - Coffee and Fruit cake

4:00pm - Coffee

6:30pm - Pork, Mashed Potatoes, Veggies

 

Fitness: Rest Day

1.5 mile walk

 

Meditation:

5 min

 

Language:

0 Min Spanish

 

Reading:

0 min

 

Notes:

Super sore, tired and hungry this morning from yesterdays distance run, tried to fast in the morning but was getting light headed by lunch. 

 

Took a walk to the park in the afternoon with the family. The dog is getting some much needed socialization training at the park since there were a lot of people there. Need to do more of that.

 

Looks like we are going to be out of town again next weekend to visit family so I’ll need to squeeze 6 days of training into 4. I’m optimistic though. Big challenge this week is going to be getting up on time. Will see what I can do on my own in term so if alarms but also going to talk to my doctor about it on Tuesday.

 

Not as worried about weight at this point as I am about performance. I can’t see not losing weight once I start hitting 25+ miles per week and continue to watch what I’m eating.

 

Also continuing to work on things with Mrs.ReturnOfTheDad. I realized after our holiday fall out that we had not been prioritizing ourselves as much as we needed to so we have both committed to a date night once a week as a start. We started last week and I can tell Mrs.ReturnOfTheDad appreciated the one on one connection time without kids and I did too.

[RubiksCat]

On 1/7/2023 at 9:47 PM, ReturnOfTheDad said:

Finally knocked out my first 5 miles! Run went pretty good, feet got sore on the last mile but I figure that will get better with time and weight loss.

Great news to hear but I hope you don't pile too much on your feet too soon. It gets easier with time when your lungs and heart get more used to the workload.

Hopefully you don't go and collapse during the work day from feeling light headed again...several hours after exercise is over the body is still burning calories like a steam locomotive gradually coming to a stop. I guess your brain and your stomach had a disagreement about how far you could actually go without food.

[ReturnOfTheDad]

1 hour ago, RubiksCat said:

I guess your brain and your stomach had a disagreement about how far you could actually go without food.

So true!