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It finally IS sunday morning :)

Boyfriend is doing well. The surgery was really short because the doctor was skilled, and he says he is not in pain at all. He needs to rest a lot, but he's fine, and his mother will come this week to take care of him in the afternoons-evenings while I am at work, so everything is solved for the best.

About me, I'm, I don't know, kind of puzzled at myself, since I've been able to manage different stressful situations and do my best in every of them :) Even if it sounds weird, the least of the stressors was boyfriend's surgery, since he is in good health and he was being operated by the best surgeon in the hospital. It was also reassuring that his aunt, who also works at this hospital with his mother, was present at the operation and said everything was fine. He recovered quickly from the anesthesia and everything, and was discharged early the following morning.

A bit more stressful for me, was the driving. Or at least the idea I had about it, since I always get stressed driving in the capital. But I was surprised that even when there were some stressful moments, I handled it pretty well. I'm happy and proud about this. It was still very tiring, though, because it involved driving around 200km a day, and after 2 days I'm worn out.

And then, the same afternoon boyfriend had to be hospitalised it was quite a busy day at work. It was the day when every kid comes with their parents to choose their timetable for the year, and it can be a very stressful day both for them and for the teachers. I solved things pretty well, with only some trouble to find a place for one of the kids that chose last, BUT: do you remember that woman that confronted me in quite a rude way in june? Theeeere we go!

 

Spoiler

I was worried about how she would behave, but when I saw her she just said hi, asked me in which classroom I would be for the schedules, and then she picked her daughter's one without trouble. I thought it was over, but after a while I saw her at the hall and she asked to talk to me. I said ok, and she said "right here?" suggesting we should go to some place private. I immediately refused, quite instinctively, and I'm happy I did, because afterwards I realised that seeing her in private would have encouraged her to be even more rude than she was. She told me she had requested for her daughter not to study with me anymore and that I had not even given her an answer. She was very angry at me, but I had to explain her I didn't know she had requested that, otherwise of course I would have given her an answer (I really wonder what type of person this woman thinks I am, if she thought I didn't answer her request on purpose). Luckily, the head of studies supported me here and explained her he was responsible about me not knowing about her request since he had lost that document and therefore he hadn't informed me. I told her it could still be done, if the new teacher agreed to it, but it seemed that she needed to justify herself in front of me for the request, so she started to tell me how a bad teacher I am for her daughter, that her daughter is so talented, and disciplined, and that I must acknowledge all the work can't come from the kid, that I had to put some effort on my side, but that I don't do it because I have zero self-criticism and put all the blame on her. I told her I was not even going to answer to any of that, but that if she wanted some references about me and my work, she was free to ask any of my students or their parents. She made a weird comment about "this is a public school and you have no right of admission" a comment she had already made in june, and that I thought refered to the fact that once the kids get into the school (they have to pass some exams) we are obligated to teach them. That's my guess. But she shouldn't have mentioned that, because the fact that it is a public school works against her case. I mean, the cost for every student every year to receive this education goes up to 7000€, money that comes from taxes, and from which the parents pay a symbolic quantity of 200-300€ as enrollment fees. That means that the kids have to prove they want to be there and make the most of their studies, otherwise they're being irresponsible and wasting taxpayers money. If she wants her daughter to learn to play an instrument without the responsibility of following a program, she should take her to a private music school. She seemed very offended at that, and I maybe shouldn't have told her, but at that point I was quite tired at her going way too far with her comments.

What I liked about the situation was, first of all, that I was very aware of being anxious and about my physical sensations, which helped me to keep the calm and stay in control of the situation. Then, that I refused to let her make me angry and instead tried to detach a bit from what she was saying. When she seemed a bit calmer, I went to talk to the other teacher and asked him to take this girl with him, in exchange for one of his students. This last thing was no trouble, since there were 5 families that had requested their children to study with me and I only had vacancies for 2 of them, so this made a new vacancy and I could let one more of them to come to my class.

The surprise came when I went back to the hall to tell her everything had been sorted out, and there she asks me whether I "think this is the best for the girl or maybe they shouldn't change teacher after all". So, she's said she doesn't trust my judgment, but now asks me my opinion? I did quite well here, and told her that she had already explained me she had been thinking of this the whole summer, so it seemed that she had meditated her decision, and also that of course she knew her daughter way better than me, so she could decide better than anyone what was best for her. And that if she thought the best thing was to switch classes, I had nothing to say there. She seemed confused, and more when I said it wasn't that important, that she could try with the other teacher one year and then come back with me if she wanted. What confused her even more. She had been rude and unpleasant and I had responded by being nice and caring so she was feeling a bit insecure, I guess.

What makes me feel even better, is that afterwards, I've realised I don't care what this woman thinks about me. I'm ok if she thinks now that she overreacted, and I'm ok if she thinks I'm a child-eater ogre and she's saved her daughter from me. This is important, because I've had always trouble with this, with what people think of me and with me needing to be nice or otherwise they will think this or that. I must have better self-esteem now since I don't seem to care. I think this is a combination of my personal work and of how people usually treat me at work now, parents, kids, and other teachers. I feel my work and myself are valued there and that helps a lot, aside of other personal work I've been doing these past years.

 

 

And now... the challenge!

 

Did I manage to achieve my week goals?

On 9/17/2018 at 12:51 PM, zenLara said:

Goals for the week:

 

- reach 2 hours of breathing -----> nope

- maintain 4 hours of yoga -----> nope

- ice twice ------> still doable if I remember to do it today again yes!

- 6 minutes pull -------> nope

- 2 hours of reading -------> yes!

- walk for at least 4 hours --------> almost! 3h50m

 

And what about the overall week?

 

· Breathing 1h 48m, only 2 minutes less than last week, which is very good considering the crazy week I've had

· Yoga 3h A pity, but I missed some mornings because of the hospital, so I'm feeling good because I tried to stick to it even when circumstances didn't help

· Cold shower I didn't count my max this week, but took a cold shower everyday, even when I didn't want to

· Ice once, maybe a second time will happen today twice

· Morning pages 5/7 just ok, but not bad

· Bone broth 3/7 I run out of it and wasn't able to prepare more until today, but it's ok

· Veggies 14/21 Good

· 15' decluttering/cleaning 6/7 Very good

· Self-defence 2h

· Pull 3/7 Total: 2'20" Such a pity

· Push 10kp

· Backbends 16m May do a bit more today yes, another 15 minutes

· Abs nothing

· Mus 4/7

· Ísk 3/7 15m Worst week ever since I started the habit. Justified, but feels bad

· Reading 2h 10m Very good!

· Walking 3h 50m Not bad, considering the situation

· Groceries shopping thrice

Total time of deliberate movement: 8h 50m That's 5 hours less than last week, which is normal since my leisure time was reduced

Total time invested in getting back to a 2018-Wolverine state: approx. 15h 40m 6h less than last week

 

So, I'm feeling good. This was a challenging week, and I still managed to do a lot of work. The days preceding the surgery my anxiety was quite high, but I focused on keeping myself active instead of letting anxiety paralise me, and when I lacked time I just kept on doing what I felt I could still do, no pressure, no bad feelings. Anxiety was there, but I was able to work with it, even in a very bad situation like the confrontation at work. I'm happy of my increased self-control at this confrontation compared to the one I had in june. Maybe it was easier because I was expecting it, but it feels really nice to know I don't care what she thinks about me and that I could face her and not let her drag me to her position.

I don't know how this next week will be. Classes start tomorrow and I'm going to be busy, but the goal will be to keep going and maintain my routines while trying to expand to the new activities I want to become habits.

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I was so happy to read about how you treated the angry Mom situation. You've had a lot of stressful situations, but you've stayed aware of your anxiety, and answered rudeness with kindness. Maybe you don't care about her opinion, because she can only see one side of you, and not the whole truth of what a wonderful person you are :) Super proud of you. And I'm happy to hear that your boyfriend's surgery was a success! Keep it going, you funky little Wolverine :love_heart:

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You did so well with that awful woman. You kept calm and handled the situation perfectly. Hopefully she will learn her lesson and stop being so horrible. 

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Sounds to me like you rocked that encounter with the mom.  Great job not only keeping your cool and keeping everything professional, but also for recognizing the anxiety and not letting it take charge.

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6 hours ago, deftona said:

and stop being so horrible

She's been always nice to me, until the moment her daughter failed my subject. Since then, it's like she's gone crazy.

 

4 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

Sounds to me like you rocked that encounter with the mom.  Great job not only keeping your cool and keeping everything professional, but also for recognizing the anxiety and not letting it take charge.

Thank you. I don't have the same feelings I had in june, when I wasn't at all sure about how I had handled it. I know there's still room for improvement, but I'm quite pleased that I didn't let her drag me into the mud.

 

7 hours ago, Ensi said:

Maybe you don't care about her opinion, because she can only see one side of you, and not the whole truth of what a wonderful person you are :) 

That's supernice, thank you Ensi.

You know, my boyfriend was quite upset when I told him the story. He thinks she's been way too disrespectful, but when I arrived at the part when she said "you have zero self-criticism" he laughed and said she's definitely not the type of person that can suss out people :D

 

3 hours ago, annyshay said:

So proud! :)

:) Thank you!

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