DJ Trippy: Queen of the Jungle

[DJtrippyT]

 

 

 

So this challenge's theme came about by accident, as do so many of my themes. I was outside the house walking to the mailbox and being trailed by three cats (mine, my neighbor's, and the little stray that lives in the neighborhood) and my boyfriend said "god you look like the crazy cat lady" and I responded "hell no I'm SHEENA QUEEN OF THE JUNGLE!!!" and thus, a theme was born.

 

I will say right off that we are going to focus the theme on the cool-ass comic genre of Sheena, not the terrible soft-core movie that came out when I was in junior high, because god damn that movie is fucking TERRIBLE. Like, epically, eye-searingly bad, with dialog that sounds like it was cribbed off the insert from a fortune cookie. Just watching the trailer made my brain bleed.

 

 

 

SHE TELEPATHICALLY SUMMONS A HEDGEHOG 

 

(which I had no idea was an African mammal, so I guess I've already learned something today)

 

Seriously don't watch that trailer unless you have brain cells you don't care about keeping. Or are really into Zebras, or thinly-veiled colonialism and/or the white savior complex.

 

Actually, my favorite bit of this movie is when I read the plot notes on Wikipedia and apparently the McGuffin is that outside interests want to steal Sheena's homeland so they can mine titanium, and when I first read it I thought it said "titanium dioxide" and I legitimately thought, "They invaded a tiny African country to steal... the primary ingredient in sunscreen?" which should tell you right there that I wasn't sleeping much at the time.

 

Sheena also gets major nostalgia points because Tanya Roberts also starred in The Beastmaster, which is another terrible, terrible movie from my youth. The Beastmaster is a Conan knockoff that's far more watchable, not least because it features ferrets.

 

 

 

This is much better. Did you know that Sheena was the first female comic book character that had her own stand-alone titles, pre-dating even Wonder Woman? I had no idea. Thank goodness for the internet.

 

On to the challenge, which has two parts:

 

Part one is an athletic goal that will take me several challenges to reach. The Mantis, god love him, keeps riding my ass to pick an athletic goal to train for, so that my workouts aren't so all over the place. I finally decided that I want to try and be in the Top 50 in my state in my age division in the Crossfit open next year. That way I get to train towards a certain point, but still get to do all of the everything! BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

 

They are currently mucking with the Crossfit Open format, which makes me want to break things, and there's talk that they may not have a master's division next year, but I devised a work-around if they do phase it out; I went onto the current leaderboard and got the scores for several women in my age group who were in the top 50 for this year's open, and come February if they don't have a division for me I will do those workouts and compete against those scores; if I can beat them, I am objectively good enough to have been top 50 in my state. Suck it, Glassman.

 

 

 

Part two is actual training, which we'll have some theme-based fun with:

 

Swing from the trees: I have to work on my gymnastics skills, as this is where I really cannot keep up with the CF routine. I have to work on my pullups, handstands, and toes-to-bar for the next few months. 

 

The Great Migration: okay that title is a bit of a stretch, but it's at least Africa-themed. I'm taking up the People's Choice again and there will be rucking, so much rucking. The People deserve no less.

 

 

Get Flexy: I couldn't think of a good Sheena tie-in for this, so you'll have to bear with me. I need to get back to mobility work big-time. My hamstrings are like piano wire and my lower back makes me walk like a professional bull rider for two days after every workout. As @Sloth the Enduring says, I must Do The Damn Yoga.

 

Get Primitive: I want to hop back on the Paleo lifestyle train, as it makes me feel really good - not focusing so much on the food as making my life a little more primal. No screens 1 hour before bed, move my phone out of the bedroom (I'm going to buy a cheap alarm clock today, since I use my phone as my alarm clock), lots of natural light, lots of time outdoors, and campfires/candles as many evenings as possible. You have no idea how much better I sleep/feel when I do these things. 

 

Western Civilization has given us many things - indoor plumbing leaps to mind - but there's nothing like woodsmoke in your hair and a turkey leg on the barbeque. No one denies this.

 

CHALLENGE OF THE CHALLENGE: 

 

On my list of Things I Want to Accomplish This Year Before I Hit 50 was to do an adventure race, which are like triathalons for the wet and muddy set and usually involve trail running, kayaking, mountain biking, etc. I looked at a bunch of them and I either couldn't get to them due to scheduling or they were just wildly expensive (the entry fees start at like 200 bucks, seriously) so I'm going to create my own. I've roped in a couple of friends to help me and I'm going to do a homegrown adventure race at Stone Mountain Park.

 

4 miles kayak (up and back on the lake)

10 miles bike (two very hilly loops around the park)

4 miles trail run

 

this should be loads of fun and hopefully I won't die, but instead be crowned QUEEN OF THE JUNGLE. 

 

 

 (Actually I have to live thru it because I promised my friends endless tacos afterward)

 

 

 

[Raxie]

This theme is so badass!! Also omg that movie XD I'm dying hahahah

[Sloth the Enduring]

I beg to differ. Sheena Queen of the Jungle is a flipping awesome movie. I mean they have a horse painted like a zebra and Tanya Roberts rides it. In slow motion.

Also, can you imagine how hard it was to train chimps to throw grenades on cue? They put a lot of work into this movie.


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[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Following and choosing to register no opinion on the movie in question.

[Elastigirl]

I love that comic book screen shot. And I want to join your adventure race! Except I can't run, or kayak, but those are small details

[Xena]

9 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

I love that comic book screen shot. And I want to join your adventure race! Except I can't run, or kayak, but those are small details

Was having similar thoughts, just can kayak or bike. Maybe we can sit around and eat all the tacos during our non-preferred sports.

 

Wow, I'm pretty sure I watched that movie back in the day. I might not have even known it was a bad movie at the time. I had to hopscotch through the trailer b/c I couldn't stand to watch the whole thing. But damn, I missed the hedgehog, so now I might have to go back. (ETA: did it, and obviously completely worth it)

 

Love the CF goal and the way you hacked it!

[DJtrippyT]

On 9/13/2018 at 3:36 PM, Raxie said:

This theme is so badass!! Also omg that movie XD I'm dying hahahah

 

Right? Defend your titanium dioxide to the death, Sheena

 

On 9/13/2018 at 4:45 PM, Sloth the Enduring said:

I beg to differ. Sheena Queen of the Jungle is a flipping awesome movie. I mean they have a horse painted like a zebra and Tanya Roberts rides it. In slow motion.

Also, can you imagine how hard it was to train chimps to throw grenades on cue? They put a lot of work into this movie.
 

 

I feel like when they put the trailer together, some editor was driven mad by being forced to watch the whole movie and pick out the "good" parts, and so they made the whole trailer out of Tanya Roberts riding the zebra in slow motion because that's all anyone was going to be interested in anyway.

 

On 9/13/2018 at 6:56 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Following and choosing to register no opinion on the movie in question.

 

I'm picturing you nervously adjusting your clerical collar. Although I don't think you actually wear one.

 

On 9/13/2018 at 9:13 PM, Elastigirl said:

I love that comic book screen shot. And I want to join your adventure race! Except I can't run, or kayak, but those are small details

 

details, shmeetails. You could do it.

 

On 9/14/2018 at 7:00 AM, Xena said:

Was having similar thoughts, just can kayak or bike. Maybe we can sit around and eat all the tacos during our non-preferred sports.

 

Love the CF goal and the way you hacked it!

 

I fully support the concept of a taco-loaded cheering section.

 

The CF thing should be fun. I do better when I have a specific goal to aim at - my brain is too Ranger-y for it's own good otherwise. And I'll be satisfied with the work-around, although it won't be the same as having my name on the leaderboard in 50th place   Even if I don't break the top 50 it'll make me fitter by an order of magnitude.

 

 

[DJtrippyT]

Updates! We all want 'em!

 

 

This is my favorite Sheena comic cover so far. That dude is TOTALLY getting his face eaten. The same thing happens to me when I don't get up early to feed my cat.

 

Anyway, updates:

 

Thursday:

 

CF top 50 goal: my workout thursday was scheduled to be Triple 3, which is 3,000 meters on the rower, 300 jump ropes, and then 3 miles on the treadmill. I've done it before but I can never get past 1.5 miles on the treadmill; I always run out of time or just wimp out. This time I was able to grit it out all the way thru, which I was really pleased by. I was trashed afterward. (I didn't run the whole 3 miles)

ETA: I did pullups this day also.

 

Yoga: no

Walking: Should the treadmill count?  it probably should count. Multitasking!

Paleo4Lyfe: put the phone in another room at night and set my alarm on my sportswatch. Had a campfire, which was awesome. Did not eat Paleo, though. No screens an hour before bed. I'm reading an physical book about Mayan history instead.

 

Friday: 

 

CF top 50 goal: I spend some time pondering my workout plan, largely because my calves and hamstrings were taking angry revenge for the previous day's workout. I didn't realize til this morning that when you break that workout down, it's almost 2 miles on the rower and then running a 5k. No wonder my legs don't work.

 

Yoga: Literally to stiff to move

Walking: see above

Paleo4Lyfe: this was good. Phone still going in the other room at night, no screens before bed, ate like an authentic caveman. No campfire though.

 

Saturday:

 

CF top 50: Today's workout should have been an outdoor bike ride, but I rode on the trainer instead, which was more time-efficient but boring. At least my legs work again. Also I pulled the top 50 scores for each workout that I have to beat and really looked at them, and holy shit. There's some very fit ladies out there.

 

Yoga: Yes! 20 minutes in the morning.

Walking: No. That may happen today.

Paleo4Lyfe: So, so paleo. So much delicious meatiness. Phone still out of the bedroom at night (I almost caved on this last night) and no screens before bed. Had a campfire set up but it was rainy, so that may go to tonight (sunday) if the weather clears.

 

So that brings us to today, Sunday. I'm kind of feeling like doing nothing today - I did a ton of meal prep and cleaning Friday and Saturday. I should really go to the grocery store. Maybe I can convince my boyfriend to pick up coffee filters on the way home from work. 

 

I think I'm going to just go for a ruck today (if the rain holds off) and hit the gym tomorrow. I'm trying to plan my week out now.

 

I don't know if it's the "no screens before bed" or what, but holy cow. I am sleeping like the dead. And I fall asleep much faster. Three days is kind of a small sample size though. Might just be fatigue.

 

In another announcement that didn't make it to the intial challenge post, I have decided that I'm going to go back to school part-time. I did anthropology/archeology as a minor but I never finished my degree, so I think I'm going to start taking online classes and finally get that. It's really more because I'm looking to stave off brain rot than for any practical use, but that's even better in a way, because I can really focus on the things that interest me. 

 

I treated myself to some Maya books on Thursday from Amazon and they should come this week. Unbelievably, with all my purging/minimalism, I still have most of my books from when I was in school, although they're probably 30 years out of date now.

 

 

 

Kind of perfect for the Queen of the Jungle theme, though.

 

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

5 hours ago, DJtrippyT said:

 

I'm picturing you nervously adjusting your clerical collar. Although I don't think you actually wear one.

 

No, not that flavor. In the first church where I was a pastor I'd preach in cowboy boots and jeans with a western shirt.

[DJtrippyT]

Sometimes the universe knows what you're up to: I just got a promotional email from a company that does animal handling for "Large Exotic Cats" in case I should need one for a future production and HOLY FLIPSTICKS I KNOW WHAT MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME IS GONNA BE NOW

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Xena]

On 9/16/2018 at 10:31 AM, DJtrippyT said:

Triple 3, which is 3,000 meters on the rower, 300 jump ropes, and then 3 miles on the treadmill.

Possibly the first CF workout ever that I actually think I could do.

 

On 9/16/2018 at 10:31 AM, DJtrippyT said:

I have decided that I'm going to go back to school part-time.

Awesome!!

[Sloth the Enduring]

Holy crap. You’re renting a lion and dressing as Sheena.




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[Xena]

56 minutes ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Holy crap. You’re renting a lion and dressing as Sheena.




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Or possibly dressing her cat up as a lion for one of those combined pet-owner costume pairings?

[DJtrippyT]

On 9/17/2018 at 8:14 PM, Sloth the Enduring said:

Holy crap. You’re renting a lion and dressing as Sheena.


 

 

What could possibly go wro- [is instantly devoured by giant carnivorous animal]

[DJtrippyT]

On 9/17/2018 at 5:56 PM, Xena said:

Possibly the first CF workout ever that I actually think I could do.

 

 

 

Definitely suited more to your regular workouts than mine :-)

 

On 9/17/2018 at 5:56 PM, Xena said:

Awesome!!

 

Thank you! Many interesting nights of reading ahead.

 

 

[DJtrippyT]

 

 

So it has come to my attention that there was an early 2000's TV reboot of Sheena, which not only was even more terrible than the movie (hard to believe) but that starred a prominent member of the original "Baywatch" cast, which means that it can be folded into my ongoing conviction that everything in known physics can be tied back to David Hasselhoff in some fashion. I'm calling it the "Greater Hasselhoff Unifcation Theory" and I fully expect it to be my thesis project when I get to that point.

 

In other "jeez the universe is weird sometimes" news, I have been obsessing about outrigger canoes and the Molokai Ho'e for about three years - there is really no limit to my random fascinations - and I actually talked a buddy of mine into doing one at some nebulous future point and started researching the canoes (spoiler alert: they cost 20 grand, so we'll be trying to fine a team to join rather than getting one of our own) and I've been watching this video on repeat for days:

 

https://www.redbull.com/int-en/tv/video/AP-1RXNJHKQ52111/red-bull-waa

 

So yesterday I went kayaking and there was not another soul out at the lake for some reason, and when I was done and loading up the boat the only other person I've seen all day backs up to the boat ramp and the guy has a fucking outrigger canoe.  I'm not a religious man, but I really had to look around for a minute like, "Universe, WFT?". I thought I was being punked. I wound up talking to the guy for like 20 minutes about the canoes and racing (I asked him about the canoe, and he says, oh, you know outriggers? and I was like, Dude, I am WATCHING the '17 Molokai on my phone right now and showed it to him and then I think he would have talked all day, because you know how it is when you find someone who is your particular flavor of nerd)

 

Anyway, expect some future Trippy update to be sent from the open ocean 12 miles off of Oahu. Right after I save up 20K and find five people as weird as I am.

 

Normal updates:

 

Sunday I did not do much, as predicted. 15 minutes of yoga. Did Paleo goodness, but didnt' do a campfire or walk. Phone still living in other room at night.

 

Monday: I did office work out of my favorite coffee shop all day, then went to the gym. I got to the gym and realized I'd left my bag of gym clothes at home. SO ANNOYING. I was going to call it off, but I was so peeved that I went to the Wal-,mart a few blocks away and bought a sports bra and a tank top off the clearance rack (I already had some old sneakers I keep in the car for emergencies, and a pair of dirty workout shorts). For $11.67 I was back in business. I found out later that the tank was a maternity top, which is just the sort of asinine thing I would do, but it's not like anyone could see the tag while i was working out.

 

CF top 50: I did "Nancy" which is 5 rounds of 400 meter run and then 15 OH squats. It was a bitch. I only got thru 3 and a half rounds. Top 50 felt a long way away. I'm trying to do the workouts exactly as given, and I usually do nancy with the squats first and then the run, even though it's designed to be done with the run first. I idid it correctly this time, and guess what? It's harder that way. 

 

I also rode my bike on the trainer in the morning for 30 minutes, not very hard or anything.

 

Yoga: No, I did the bike in the morning instead.

Walking: No. 

Paleo4Lyfe: Is cinnamon pound cake paleo? Don't answer that.

 

Tuesday: 

 

tuesday was rest day in theory, but I went at it hard on the kayak because it's part of my homemade adventure race and I needed to see if I could cover the distance I have planned. It went really well but man I was wiped afterward. I needed a nap. I did four miles and my arms were like jello for the rest of the day.

 

Yoga: No

Walking: No. I had planned to do it after the kayak but I was too pooped.

Paleo4Lyfe: Phone's still out of the room. A surfeit of sunshine out on the lake. Food....meh.

 

So today is Wednesday and I'm still figuring out my day. I'm supposed to gym tonight - strength work - and I have loads of house stuff to do. I'll see if I can wedge in some yoga. I ate a pork chop for breakfast which seems pretty damn paleo. (It was leftovers. Don't judge.)

 

I need another cup of coffee first.

 

 

 

 

[Xena]

9 hours ago, DJtrippyT said:

Is cinnamon pound cake paleo?

 Maybe if you add enough bacon?

[deftona]

On 9/17/2018 at 6:48 PM, DJtrippyT said:

Sometimes the universe knows what you're up to: I just got a promotional email from a company that does animal handling for "Large Exotic Cats" in case I should need one for a future production and HOLY FLIPSTICKS I KNOW WHAT MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME IS GONNA BE NOW

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are nowhere near enough female loin cloths in the world. 

[Raxie]

Kayaking is so much fun! It's so nice you got the whole lake more or less to yourself. 

[DJtrippyT]

21 hours ago, Xena said:

 Maybe if you add enough bacon?

 

Bring this to me and I’ll give you anything you want. 

 

13 hours ago, deftona said:

 

There are nowhere near enough female loin cloths in the world. 

 

There’s such a fine line between “female loin cloth” and “adult diaper” and I’m afraid to cross it

 

9 hours ago, Raxie said:

Kayaking is so much fun! It's so nice you got the whole lake more or less to yourself. 

 

It was weird, it was such a nice day. But school is back in session and the kayak rental place closed on Labor Day for the season so that cuts down on the crowd. 

[deftona]

2 minutes ago, DJtrippyT said:

There’s such a fine line between “female loin cloth” and “adult diaper” and I’m afraid to cross it

 

I was about to agree with you and then I thought of how breezy it would be and I am throwing myself at that line, however fine. 

[Elastigirl]

Outrigger canoes are so awesome!

[DJtrippyT]

I feel like I already did a terrible 80’s workout gear challenge but if not this photo should be a theme in itself

 

Its like the contrasting crotch is designed to say LOOK HERE THIS IS WHERE THE VAGINA LIVES

[Xena]

The yellow outfit looks the most uncomfortable. The other two are kind of crazy but actually totally practical for a good old 80's-style aerobics workout. 

[DJtrippyT]

14 hours ago, Xena said:

The yellow outfit looks the most uncomfortable. The other two are kind of crazy but actually totally practical for a good old 80's-style aerobics workout. 

 

and entirely too hot for aerobics, right? So very sweaty.