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Bob the Bard

Bob the Bard rounds out his training

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That's right baby!  The bard is back!  And this time, we're focusing less on music *le gasp*, and rounding out my training a little bit (and no, that's not a fat joke (... or is it... (... no, no it really isn't))).

For those who don't know...



I am a bard.


At least, I had a good start on the makings of a bard.  Outside of usual being a jack of all trades, playing some sort of instrument, and indulging in wine, women, and song, the bard possesses 3 unique qualities:


A bard educates.


A bard entertains.


A bard inspires.

So how to I improve these 3 qualities?  Let us begin...


A bard educates!

No matter what or where, a bard usually seems to know something about the world around him, and is always eager to share with anyone who will listen  He not only educates others, but is also open to any lore he might come across.  Bards hold a wealth of knowledge that can usually come in handy in any situation.  I plan on expanding my interests, learning new skills, and gaining new traits to be more useful in the world around me.

Quest - Maintain at least 90% in all my classes

Fall quarter starts this month, and this is the first quarter where I'll be going to school full time.  To be honest, I'm scared as hell to go to school full-time, AND work full-time.  But, I'm also excited, because I finally get to start learning the classes I've wanted to begin since I went back to college.  I'm eagerly looking forward to studying computer science and ethical hacking.


Side Quest - Achieve "Hello World" in Python

For any developers out there, you know that "Hello World" is one of the first things you learn in code.  Python is one of those languages that everyone seems to recommend, because it's so versatile, I guess.  I'm going to start learning how to code in Python, and what better small milestone to reach for than "Hello World"?



A bard entertains!

At some point, somewhere, someone told me I was funny (I think they were drunk).  For everyone else, I'm guessing they just smile and laugh to tolerate my presence until I leave.  


WHY YES I DO think I'm funny, but I've learned that I want to be better at being funny, and achieve laughter outside of horrible puns.  I've told jokes, stories, performed magic, read palms, and have even written riddles.  However, I've been wanting to get back into music.  I played alto sax in high school, and I want to get more music out into the world.  I believe music can move the body and soul - whether it's through a DAW creating electronic music, or taking up the guitar, 

Quest - Make a "True Facts" video

Anyone who's hung around the internet for a while knows about the creativity guru that is Ze Frank.  Or, at the very least, maybe you've seen one of his videos, but didn't know it was him.  He's the main creator of the "True Facts" video series on YouTube, where true, legit facts are listed about different animals, delivered alongside video in a humorous manner.  Search for "True Facts about the Mantis Shrimp" on YouTube, and you'll see what I'm talking about.

I always thought I could do a pretty good "True Facts" video, and since I just got my new mic hooked up, I'm itching to give it a shot.  Stay tuned by beautiful peoples, 'cause we're all gonna learn some true fuggin' facts.  About which animal you ask?  Well...


Side Quest - Finish up the "Oxi" track

Rather than focus on a whole music album like in the last challenge, I'm going to focus on just one track.  There's an anti-opioid video I saw on YouTube, where some guy smashes his hand with a hammer to get more Oxicodone.  Long story short, I'm remixing the audio from that video into a song.  Let's finish it up, shall we? 



A bard inspires!

This one was tricky.  I mean, how the hell am I suppose to inspire people.  Raising people's spirits with mere words is a little tricky for me, and I'm better suited for conversing and comedy.  Then, it hit me:  All those YouTube videos of fat guys, doing incredible parkour feats (back-flips, vaults, and tricks).  THAT is how I inspire people, to show the world that you shouldn't be limited to the things you can do just by your size or shape.  To show that if you have enough piss and vinegar flowing through your veins, anything can be accomplished.  THAT'S where the fitness aspect comes in.  Parkour is something that I love practicing when I can; honestly, there are few times I feel so alive as when I've moving and conquering obstacles not only around me, but within myself as well.

However, I believe there are other ways in which one can inspire others.  From random acts of kindness and generosity, to just being a good example to those around you, it doesn't take much to be the light that guides people through the darkest times of their lives.


Quest - Workout 5 days a week

So, the last time I tried this, it didn't work out so well.  Honestly, I just need to do it - get into a gym, and put in the work.  Maybe I don't want to lift weights forever, but I really don't feel comfortable doing bodyweight exercises at the weight I am.  This is going to be the toughest challenge of them all, hands down.  But I know that if I can make exercise a legit part of my life, I know everything else will fall into place.  Wish me luck.


Side Quest - Make more supply kits for the homeless

When I lived in Portland, OR, I would often make supply kits for the homeless, consisting of socks, toiletries, a little bit of food, and a listing of all the shelters in the area.  In the town I'm living in now, the homeless problem is much smaller, but I still feel like I could help.  I don't believe in giving the homeless money, but to turn your back on them is just cruel.  I need to pick up the supplies, and make about 10-12 kits.  Should be relatively simple.



I feel like I'm getting back into the swing of things.  I also feel this next challenge month should go a lot smoother as well.  A bard focusing less on music almost seems sacrilegious, but I know that I need to have more balance in all things.  I really, REALLY, REALLY want to get back into parkour training again, and I can't do it while I'm this heavy.  So, I'll be working hard, watching what I eat, moving more, and hopefully, I'll reach my 100 lb. mark soon.


Let's kick this shit off.

Let the challenges begin!

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Of course I get a cold as soon as challenge month starts.  I hope I get over it soon.  I'm tired all the freakin' time, which makes working out harder.  And my voice sounds like crap, which makes recording anything impossible.


Still, I was able to finish up the "Oxy" track this morning before going off to work.  For whatever reason, my DAW kept crashing every time I tried editing it.  Hell it wouldn't even play without crashing.  I cut up the song into several segments, exported them as mp3's, and put them all back together.  All that's left is to finish up the album art, and post it on SoundCloud.  I'll post the link when it's ready.


This has been a rough start for a challenge month, but at least I'm doing it.  At least, that's what I keep telling myself :)

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On 9/15/2018 at 3:11 AM, Bob the Bard said:

Anyone who's hung around the internet for a while knows about the creativity guru that is Ze Frank.


Thank you for introducing me to this legend


1 hour ago, Bob the Bard said:

I'll post the link when it's ready.



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4 hours ago, Bob the Bard said:

This has been a rough start for a challenge month, but at least I'm doing it.  At least, that's what I keep telling myself :)

Doing it is the most important thing. :) 

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Okay, so....

I haven't been working out as much as I should.  BUT, I'm going to today.  Like, right after I'm done posting this.  I know I have to start, and I know it's hard.  I just... I can't be held back by all this guilt that I'm feeling.  I know I just need to start, and do a little everyday.  I've been through this same shit over and over.  Today feels more like a springboard than anything else.  I'm ready to jump in full-tilt.  So, yeah.

ALSO, the next track is finally complete!  You can find it in the link below, along with a download link if you like it that much.  I hope everyone else is doing well in their own quests!  Keep it my brothers and sisters!


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