Cheesestick Finds Balance

[Cheesestick]

Greetings!  I'm Cheesestick, I'm fresh off the Level One forums, and after much agonizing, I have decided to roll a monk. It feels strange to say, because although I started dabbling in krav maga a few months ago, I have been at best inconsistent about going. But I really have enjoyed it when I went, and everyone starts somewhere, right?

 

Anyway, I think rolling monk is the most in line with my overall main quest. As I mentioned in my first challenge, I've started to realize that a huge obstacle in getting healthy before was my (at the time) undiagnosed ADHD. The way things roll with hyperfocus is that I give things 210% or nothing, which makes consistency nearly impossible. The irony is that consistent exercise and other forms of self-care is exactly what I need to manage my easily distracted brain. So my life quest is to learn to achieve harmony: to master brain and body, and for once, to learn how to work on both things at the same time. 

 

Last challenge, I was moderately successful at breaking my takeout habit and building smaller mindfulness changes into my day. I was less successful at building in exercise and adding necessary structure and routine (I hate it, but so so desperately need it) to balance out my tendency to procrastinate.  I want to build on the habits I did well and revise my strategy for tackling the ones I failed at.

 

So without further ado, and a day late (is it any surprise?), my four week goals (with accompanying mantras to remind me why I'm dong them).

 

Morning Ritual

Routine is the key to achieving balance in my life, and that has to start even with the smallest things.  Just as a wizard can't cast spells without preparing them, I can't expect to make big changes without ensuring that little self-care pieces are in place. 

 

 

I'm currently unmedicated, and I'm trying to keep it that way, which means I desperately need to work toward introducing external structure and self-care routines into my life. Last challenge I focused on adding additional steps to my only consistent morning ritual:  coffee (its sacred and you will never take it from me).  I aimed for adding taking vitamins/supplements, stretching, meditating, and planning to this; it was too much.  I only successfully managed to do one of these things consistently:  taking vitamins.  I'd like to build on that while taking stock of the reasons I failed last time: too much too fast.  Here is the plan for this challenge:

• Building on good habits (vitamins):  Continue to take my multivitamin & omega-3 every day. My doctor has recommended additions to this, but I want to add them a little bit at a time to avoid nausea, so no additional supplements in the first week. Keeping these next to the coffee machine has really helped me remember.
• Fixing didn't work as well as I wanted it  to (planning):  5 minutes of planning out my day in my journal every morning WITH coffee. I fell off the boat here last time for two reasons:  (i) 15 minutes was too much once I got busy at work and (ii) without a set time, I would start putting off planning until "later" (i.e., never). I hope to learn from these mistakes because writing things down each day has been helping to order the chaos.
• Adding something new (breakfast):  I skip breakfasts, and I need to stop. I focus so much better after eating a high protein meal. So each Sunday, I am going to batch cook easily grabbable high-protein breakfasts for weekday mornings. As a fail safe, I will allow myself to buy full-fat greek yogurt if I forget because it is far more important that I EAT SOMETHING every day before I leave for work than it is for me to cook that thing. But I would LOVE any suggestions you all have for easy grab-and-go breakfast foods.    

 

Find Balance in Nature

I have a very monastic, academic job smack in the middle of a city. I love my metaphorical ivory tower, but I used to feel so centered running around in mud and swimming in lakes. I want to rediscover the part of me that loved those things.

 

This is a repeat of a challenge I did not make much success on last time. At the beginning of the last challenge I decided to kill two birds with one stone and get outdoor time and exercise by making commuting by bike part of my daily routine. I bought a bike from the bike store on special order, and it was supposed to come in weeks ago. Some combination of procrastination and social anxiety prevented me from every following up on with them when they did not contact me. But I called last week and I called again today (as I made this post) and I've been assured that the bike will be in the store tomorrow morning. Here is the game plan:

• Building on good habits (leave the city): Continue to get out of the city at least one time a month. Go on a hike, or kayak, or climb. But get out!
• Adding something new/Fixing what didn't work as well as I wanted it to (commuting): Follow up with the bike people. Get my bike. And get riding! I originally set my commute goal to 3 times a week. I know myself, and I know I'm more likely to stick with the goal if I can't make excuses to put it off (i.e., if I force myself to do it every day), but I think this challenge I need to account for initial soreness and getting used to riding in the rain. I get bonus points on this challenge if I go for a longer ride on the weekends.

 

Train Consistently

Exercise is the best substitute for medication

 

When I started Krav Maga back in February, it really helped my focus. I tried to make this part of my challenge last time, but moving threw a wrench in the works. I was no longer within walking distance of my gym, and that additional obstacle made things hard. There is a muay thai gym closer to my new home, which I'd like to try, but I know myself and the real heart of this challenge is going to be eliminating obstacles and excuses to get there:

• Building on good habits:  Keep bringing a change of clothes with me to work, so that if the "I want to hit things" bug strikes, I can seize it without warning. Also bring protein bars and a water bottle, so that I can get through an unexpected workout.
• Fixing what didn't work as well as I wanted it to/Add something new: Try the closer muay thai place in this first week.  Over the course of the challenge, go at least one time per week, but build up to going twice per week. 

 

Wrestle with My Procrastination Demons

I know where my demons hide and I will not let them horde all of my productivity and build their dreadful task mountains.

 

There's nothing I hate more than small (but often important) administrative tasks. I put them off because they're boring until there's suddenly a mountain of them and then I put them off because they're overwhelming. My procrastination demons have managed to amass small hordes of tasks that need to be completed, and I'd like to make tackling them part of this challenge so that I can hold myself accountable. I aim to do one per week:

• Finances:  Ironing out the details of these, including cancelling subscriptions that I no longer use/don't want (there's more of these than I care to admit), sending insurance and travel reimbursements (same), and changing my address with all financial institutions.  
• Organizing my home office step 1:  I have a small mountain of boxes left to unpack and I've shoved them in my office. This really needs to be tackled because I can't keep living out of boxes and I need to actually do work in the office.
• Organizing my home office step 2:  once everything is unpacked, I need to decide how to arrange furniture, what I want to keep, and how to best set this zone up for maximum productivity.
• Preparing to meal plan next challenge:  I've been relying a lot on cooking subscription boxes to try new recipes without the burden of thinking about shopping lists and meal plans. I want to break away from this slowly, but I know I struggle a lot with meal planning. I think the first place to start ADHD-friendly meal planning is by making myself a little recipe index card box of my favorite easy recipes, with nutrition facts and everything, so that I can just grab my favorites once or twice a week and go to the store. If I get started on that this challenge, it will make it easier for me to break away from subscriptions next challenge. 

 

I appreciate any of you who made it through my rambling. I hope to get to know each and every one of you better over the course of this challenge.

[Kishi]

Well, howdy there! Welcome to the Monastery! We're always glad to see more monks, and it's nice to meet you.

 

You are not the only ADHD Monk in this place. @sarakingdom deals with a similar set of circumstances, and she probably has lots of wise things to say about the nature of this particular beast.

 

18 hours ago, Cheesestick said:

Adding something new (breakfast):  I skip breakfasts, and I need to stop. I focus so much better after eating a high protein meal. So each Sunday, I am going to batch cook easily grabbable high-protein breakfasts for weekday mornings. As a fail safe, I will allow myself to buy full-fat greek yogurt if I forget because it is far more important that I EAT SOMETHING every day before I leave for work than it is for me to cook that thing. But I would LOVE any suggestions you all have for easy grab-and-go breakfast foods.    

 

If you're wanting to go high protein, it's hard to go wrong with jerky for breakfast. It's prepackaged and everything, and these days there's tons of high-quality options. I tend to favor Ostrim sticks and Epic bars; that's pretty easy to grab and go. If you're looking for something more like a regular protein bar, Quest Bars tend to be my favorites as they tend to test well in terms of actually having the ingredients they say they do. Um, if you like, you can also batch cook - do some hardboiled eggs, or maybe grill a steak and pull off of that, or do some ground meat. These are all things I have done at some point or other, and they do work for being a high-protein breakfast.

 

18 hours ago, Cheesestick said:

• Building on good habits:  Keep bringing a change of clothes with me to work, so that if the "I want to hit things" bug strikes, I can seize it without warning. Also bring protein bars and a water bottle, so that I can get through an unexpected workout.
• Fixing what didn't work as well as I wanted it to/Add something new: Try the closer muay thai place in this first week.  Over the course of the challenge, go at least one time per week, but build up to going twice per week.

 

Most excellent ideas! Bringing stuff with you is a good way to eliminate obstacles between you and training; I'm sure that'll work out (haaaar) great for you.

 

18 hours ago, Cheesestick said:

• Finances:  Ironing out the details of these, including cancelling subscriptions that I no longer use/don't want (there's more of these than I care to admit), sending insurance and travel reimbursements (same), and changing my address with all financial institutions.  
• Organizing my home office step 1:  I have a small mountain of boxes left to unpack and I've shoved them in my office. This really needs to be tackled because I can't keep living out of boxes and I need to actually do work in the office.
• Organizing my home office step 2:  once everything is unpacked, I need to decide how to arrange furniture, what I want to keep, and how to best set this zone up for maximum productivity.

 

Feel you on these. I've not been getting my stuff unpacked near as much as I should be, and it's impacting my quality of life in a negative way. Also subscriptions I no longer use.

 

It's for the best! I respect how difficult I can be to do these, but it's way within your interests to get this done.

 

18 hours ago, Cheesestick said:

Preparing to meal plan next challenge:  I've been relying a lot on cooking subscription boxes to try new recipes without the burden of thinking about shopping lists and meal plans. I want to break away from this slowly, but I know I struggle a lot with meal planning. I think the first place to start ADHD-friendly meal planning is by making myself a little recipe index card box of my favorite easy recipes, with nutrition facts and everything, so that I can just grab my favorites once or twice a week and go to the store. If I get started on that this challenge, it will make it easier for me to break away from subscriptions next challenge. 

 

Neat! You should check out the Kitchens if you want to get your hands on some recipes. I'm not sure if they'll be up your alley, but at the very least it's a place to start.

 

And, yeah, that does it. It's a lot on your plate, and I'd advise you to keep a level head. Remember, if the worst that happens is that you build on good habits and don't fix other things, it's still a win for you because you're making your life better.

 

You can do this! We believe in you! Now get up and get on it!

[WhiteBeltBrowncoat]

I'll second the hardboiled eggs. They are awesomely easy. Around Easter I had them for about a month. Lunch planning was super easy, just grab 2 and go. Nom Nom Paleo has an easy way to spice them up a bit too.

[sarakingdom]

11 hours ago, Kishi said:

You are not the only ADHD Monk in this place. @sarakingdom deals with a similar set of circumstances, and she probably has lots of wise things to say about the nature of this particular beast.

 

Pretty sure I'm not the only one, too, just the one most actively in the trenches with right now. Hoo boy, do I know the irony of having the most trouble doing precisely the things that would help me have less trouble doing stuff. Not sure any of it is wise, but I do know the beast.

 

Medication's a personal decision, and I don't need or want to know why you're not going for it, but do be aware that the stigma around the behavior that leads to the ADHD diagnosis (and mental health in general) convinces a lot of people to prove they can do it without meds. It took me a long time to come to the "if I needed glasses, I'd wear glasses, and if I needed insulin, I'd take insulin, so why am I treating this differently" realization. Meds don't solve the problem, but they are the assistive technology that makes it possible for a lot of people to correct the problem. It's worth examining the reasoning for not medicating brain things in general, because people so often make those decisions out of emotional reactions. Just something to be mindful of.

 

But I feel where you're coming from. I'm one of the rare few the existing meds are simply not that effective on, so I'm trying to hack an essentially unmedicated brain, too.

 

Anyway, welcome! Nom Nom Paleo is great, though most Paleo food isn't that grab and go. Would be worth asking in the kitchen thread, with some notes about your dietary preferences. Keto's high protein and veganism's high protein look nothing alike, even if they both agree on the very portable handful of almonds.

[Cheesestick]

21 hours ago, Kishi said:

If you're wanting to go high protein, it's hard to go wrong with jerky for breakfast. It's prepackaged and everything, and these days there's tons of high-quality options. I tend to favor Ostrim sticks and Epic bars; that's pretty easy to grab and go. If you're looking for something more like a regular protein bar, Quest Bars tend to be my favorites as they tend to test well in terms of actually having the ingredients they say they do. Um, if you like, you can also batch cook - do some hardboiled eggs, or maybe grill a steak and pull off of that, or do some ground meat. These are all things I have done at some point or other, and they do work for being a high-protein breakfast.

 

18 hours ago, WhiteBeltBrowncoat said:

I'll second the hardboiled eggs. They are awesomely easy. Around Easter I had them for about a month. Lunch planning was super easy, just grab 2 and go. Nom Nom Paleo has an easy way to spice them up a bit too.

 

These are great, simple ideas, and things that have worked really well for me in the past. I am extremely guilty of putting off going to the grocery store indefinitely, but a big batch of eggs would definitely help with this problem.

 

9 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

Medication's a personal decision, and I don't need or want to know why you're not going for it, but do be aware that the stigma around the behavior that leads to the ADHD diagnosis (and mental health in general) convinces a lot of people to prove they can do it without meds. It took me a long time to come to the "if I needed glasses, I'd wear glasses, and if I needed insulin, I'd take insulin, so why am I treating this differently" realization. Meds don't solve the problem, but they are the assistive technology that makes it possible for a lot of people to correct the problem. It's worth examining the reasoning for not medicating brain things in general, because people so often make those decisions out of emotional reactions. Just something to be mindful of.

 

Oh I feel this intimately, and I thank you for sharing, because mental health is definitely too stigmatized. I've inadvertently managed to develop the coping mechanisms to get through law school and the early years of work by channeling my hyperfocus for good, and hating myself the rest of the time (feeling too lazy, undisciplined, etc). But while my coping strategies for getting work done are decent, if anxiety producing, I'm all over the place when it comes to the rest of my life (forgetting to eat when hyperfocused, oversharing, impulsive spending, failing at routine hygiene and basic household tasks, the list goes on). It's good to finally have an explanation for my issues, but I often feel like I can't really talk to anyone about it because of the stigma and lack of understanding. I've gotten a lot of "but you're smart and got good grades, how can you have ADHD, maybe you just need discipline?" from people. And it doesn't help that I'm in a profession (law) where people routinely abuse amphetamine prescriptions because they feel like it will give them an edge.  

 

Anyway, I honestly don't know if I can do this without meds, and I am definitely not writing them off. I know a lot of people who could not have developed the coping mechanisms necessary to manage the problem without meds, and I 100% believe in better living through science. But for a lot of reasons we don't need to get into here, I'm at least trying to develop those coping mechanisms (with the help of a great therapist) without medication for now. I intend to reevaluate that decision after a few months have passed. 

 

 

[sarakingdom]

1 hour ago, Cheesestick said:

But for a lot of reasons we don't need to get into here, I'm at least trying to develop those coping mechanisms (with the help of a great therapist) without medication for now. I intend to reevaluate that decision after a few months have passed.  

 

Totally legitimate, and not wasted time. Meds don't give skills, just level the field a little, so you'll still need skills.

 

1 hour ago, Cheesestick said:

 I've gotten a lot of "but you're smart and got good grades, how can you have ADHD, maybe you just need discipline?" from people. 

 

And Richard Branson is retroactively not dyslexic because he's a CEO.

[sarakingdom]

Also, for easily grabbable high protein breakfasts, have you considered, um, cheesesticks?

[Cheesestick]

Well Week One is complete and the verdict is:  meh. I didn't really meet any goals for the week, but I made some progress on all of them and everything is baby steps.

 

Morning Rituals:  I kept my good habits (vitamins) and was better about planning (3/5 weekdays albeit usually only once I had gotten to work). I had a quick protein-based breakfast 5/7 days. All in all, B+. This is a pretty big change from the chaos that my mornings used to be, so I'm fairly happy with this progress.

 

Finding Balance in Nature: I'm going to grade this on a pass/fail basis this week, and I passed. I finally got my bike on Thursday! I went for a short ride on Friday. Today marks my first day commuting. I felt great after finally getting this done this morning, although the commute back is uphill, so the hard part has yet to come. I also scheduled a longer ride with coworkers on local trails for the coming weekend, so week 2 is looking up.

 

Train Consistently: Big fat fail for last week. I had a change of clothes and water in my backpack all week, but anxiety about starting at a new place definitely got the better of me. I'm trying to approach this week with the mantra of "I'll feel better once I get started." I plan to go on Wednesday.  Wish me luck!

 

Tackle My Procrastination Demons: I did not tackle any of my projects this week, although I did do a little unpacking (#2). I plan on doing another hour or so of unpacking today to make up for it. 

 

Hope y'all made decent progress in week one. Here's to a fresh start in week two. 

 

 

 

 

[Kishi]

Hey, it's like I said, right? You do have a lot on your plate, and just building on the good habits you started is a good way to go. More things went right than wrong, and it might feel meh, but I don't think it actually is.

 

1 hour ago, Cheesestick said:

Train Consistently: Big fat fail for last week. I had a change of clothes and water in my backpack all week, but anxiety about starting at a new place definitely got the better of me. I'm trying to approach this week with the mantra of "I'll feel better once I get started." I plan to go on Wednesday.  Wish me luck!

 

Luck! Remember, you only have to be brave for 20 seconds. The rest will take care of itself afterward.

[Cheesestick]

Mini updates! I biked twice this week. Not three times like I hoped but it has been torrentially downpouring all week. Tomorrow is supposed to be nicer and several coworkers were inspired by my commuting to go on a long trail ride together tomorrow afternoon.

I tried the new muay thai place and I loved it. The basic elements are very similar to krav, the instructors are great, and I got a good workout in. The gym is also directly on my bike path home, which will be great as I get in better biking shape. So I signed up for a regular membership.

I've been kind of a mess on the planning/morning routine front, but I'm feeling great going into the weekend!

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[Jigme]

Oh hey, another Monk here who is barred, occasionally biked, and possibly-but-not-yet-medicated!

 

(Disclaimers: I quit my legal career for tech, got a joint issue that prevents me from biking a lot of the time, and ... oh boy, lawyers and mental health ... a lot of baggage there ...)

[Cheesestick]

Week two updates!

Morning rituals: C? (whoops) I was all over the place this week. Kept my good habits with respect to vitamins (and after a month of omega 3 I feel amazing). Planned 1/5 work days. Ate breakfast at home 1/5 work days. Bought a quiche at the work cafeteria for some of those other days, which isn't ideal financially, but it was better than nothing.

Find balance in nature: A-. I biked to work twice this week. I was ready and willing to do more, but it has been raining for weeks and I had meetings/court a couple of days that required me to look presentable (I.e. not like a drenched rat). Shooting for 3 this week!

Train consistently: I feel so good about finally going to muay thai I'm going to give myself an A+. I really liked the new gym and the instructors. I bought a membership that gives me two weekly sessions, and I also bought handwraps and gloves. I'm going back again tonight.

Tackle my procrastination demons: I'm failing this challenge hard core (unsurprising, since this is my biggest weakness). I've done 0/4 of my tasks. I'd like to put some of the blame on this big hearing I have today that's been demanding a lot of my attention, but I also know I could've found time this weekend to start some of them. My goal for today, after court, is to pick one and strategize how to break it down into workable pieces for the week.

All in all, I think this week was a success. I wasn't as in top of everything as I'd like to be, but Im making progress, and I feel great! Good luck in week 3 everyone!

Sent from my HTC U11 using Tapatalk

[Kishi]

Well, all things considered, it sounds like you're falling forward as opposed to falling flat. You've been biking when it was a responsible choice to, and you're back on the mats at a place that you like. Sure, rituals are all over the place, and sure, procrastination stuff isn't going well. But it's law stuff; as I understand it, this is super-difficult to work with and requires a lot of you being effective and not necessarily having all the time in the world for yourself for these things.

 

All things considered, it seems like a net positive from out here. That's awesome. So keep it up!

 

On ‎9‎/‎18‎/‎2018 at 7:12 PM, Cheesestick said:

• Finances:  Ironing out the details of these, including cancelling subscriptions that I no longer use/don't want (there's more of these than I care to admit), sending insurance and travel reimbursements (same), and changing my address with all financial institutions.  
• Organizing my home office step 1:  I have a small mountain of boxes left to unpack and I've shoved them in my office. This really needs to be tackled because I can't keep living out of boxes and I need to actually do work in the office.
• Organizing my home office step 2:  once everything is unpacked, I need to decide how to arrange furniture, what I want to keep, and how to best set this zone up for maximum productivity.
• Preparing to meal plan next challenge:  I've been relying a lot on cooking subscription boxes to try new recipes without the burden of thinking about shopping lists and meal plans. I want to break away from this slowly, but I know I struggle a lot with meal planning. I think the first place to start ADHD-friendly meal planning is by making myself a little recipe index card box of my favorite easy recipes, with nutrition facts and everything, so that I can just grab my favorites once or twice a week and go to the store. If I get started on that this challenge, it will make it easier for me to break away from subscriptions next challenge. 

 

So, which of these four do you think requires the smallest cognitive load?

[Kishi]

Yo! Just dropping by to say that I hope all is well!

[Cheesestick]

Super late week 3 update!!!

I'm definitely teetering on the balance beam right now. I've been in court A LOT this month which is really unusual (but fun!) and has been throwing a wrench into my attempts to find balance.

Biking was nigh on impossible with so many days that I needed to suit up, but I managed to bike in one day and bike back another. I'm happy that I forced myself to find a way to get some in, even with the craziness of last week.

I also went to muay thai twice, which was really an effort in the chaos, but I made it a priority because it really helps me focus and reduce stress.

Protein breakfasts and planning fell off the wagon entirely. These things work very well when my schedule is predictable, but I tend to forget when I have to go to court or start work at home early in the morning. I need to find a way of making sure they stick even when everything else is flying through the air.

And as for my procrastination demons: I made minimal progress tackling the financial stuff. I canceled a few subscriptions, which is good, and examined my budget to see where else my money might be going. My progress stalled when I hit the newspaper subscription, which requires calling, so I couldn't do it late at night when the mood struck my fancy.

In short, I'm teetering, but I haven't fallen off yet. I'm traveling for work this week, which means I won't be able to finish as strong as I would like, but I'm working with what I've got.

Toodles!

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[Cheesestick]

aaand week 4!

As I noted in the last post, this wasn't the strongest finish to the challenge. I was traveling for work Wednesday through Saturday, which threw a big wrench in the works.  

 

BUT I managed to get to Muay Thai twice and ate something (not always protein) for breakfast most days.  

Overall, it wasn't a terrible conclusion to the challenge. I'm settling into a new routine at a new place, and I've made small sustainable steps toward improvement. At a minimum, I've started a good training regime that I hope to stick to next challenge. I was better, if not perfect, about having breakfast in the morning, and I'm adjusting to biking to work. Next challenge I'd like to practice being more mindful about what goes into my body, and also take aim at the mountains of tasks I let my procrastination demons accumulate while I was trying to adjust to my new routine.

[Kishi]

Hey, good job! Like I said, if the worst thing you did was built on good habits, it'd still be a successful challenge. and that is precisely what you did. And better is... well, superior to where you were, yeah?

 

These next goals sound like logical progressions to me. Go ahead and take a week for yourself, see how to approach these new things. We'll be ready when you are.