Zeroh, stick to the routine!

[zeroh13]

I’ve been living in a soap opera the past couple of months. A lot of it was centered around a very busy and hectic job at the baseball stadium. But now that the season is over, I’m unemployed. And with that ending, a good amount of the drama is over. But now other things in my life are (emotionally) catching up me. And honestly, I’m not all that good at understanding emotions on a good day.

 

Back in August, my grandpa passed away. The thing is, I couldn’t afford to go to the funeral. We didn't know it was coming until a few hours before. So it wasn't something I could have prepared for beforehand. Now, I have a suspicion that I used my job (and all the associated drama), to avoid grieving and letting it sink in.

 

Then there is ongoing drama between my wife and her girlfriend. The details of that drama I can’t talk about here. But part of it stems from living in different countries, and part from severe mental health issues. So basically, I’d to go work and be surrounded by drama, only to go home to a different kind of drama.

 

And then, I saw an Eating Disorder Specialist, and got an actual diagnosis. It was both a relief, because when you don’t look the part it’s hard to get people to take you seriously, and an end to being able to deny that I have a real (serious) problem. But like everything else, I avoided processing it and just threw myself into my job.

 

So, it's been rough. But at the same time, I don't want to waste my life away lying in bed all winter. Which this challenge is going to stop from happening. I'm going to use it to slowly build up a daily routine. 

 

The basic* one is will look like this:

• Running Program
• Shower
• Coffee & NF
• Brunch
• Photography or Job Search
• Tea & Tarot
• Dinner
• Free-time

 

The goal is to add a new element once I've consistently incorporated the previous one for a week. Bonus for doing any of the elements I haven't added yet.

 

This past week I've been good at following a 5k training program. The next element to add is Tea & Tarot. I have a couple of books from the library about tarot, and I really should finish reading them before they're due...

 

I really want this challenge to be simple and straightforward, so a bonus goal is to not add any more goals. I really don't want to take on more than I can handle, and I'm not entirely sure how much I can handle right now.

 

*There will be variations for days I go out and do things! There's volunteering, hiking, therapy, ace meet-ups, pagan meet-ups, and miniature painting. And a family trip to Spokane in mid November to visit relatives. 
 

[shaar]

Oooo tarot!!  I have a few decks here at the house and use them every now and again.  Over the past few months I've been doing simple three-card pulls on occasion and it's stunning how on the mark they are...

 

Also WELCOME BACK!! *^__________^*

[jonfirestar]

Yay running!

 

Sorry to hear things have been a bit emotionally rough here to follow and support! 

[fleaball]

Super simple and doable. I love it!

[Wobbegong]

Welcome back, Zeroh! I hope your at-home drama cools down soon. I love the slow-burn challenge, too. There's no rush, right? Good luck! 

[Arkania]

[Bean Sidhe]

Welcome back. I know  you can do this. Here to cheer you on

[J3NN]

Glad to see you back! I love how you've set up the challenge, I think that's a great idea and may steal it for future challenges! Good luck!

[zeroh13]

I'll respond to everyone later (mostly cause I already started a post, but it's on my phone). 

 

So, update!

 

I haven't been on NF much partly because I haven't really been getting up as early as I'd like. But at the same time, I want to wake up naturally, so without setting an alarm. It's also part that pesky depression which is mostly like "you don't really neeeed to do any of this, just stay under the covers for just a little bit longer  ..." 

 

Thursday was supposed to be cross-training. I got about 10 minutes of a half-assed workout while waiting for my food to cook cause I didn't have much time before I had to leave for my ED appointment. But making food instead of going all out in the workout and waiting to eat until I got home (hours later) is a bit of a victory. (Of course, I would have had plenty of time for everything if I got out of bed earlier...)

 

Yesterday was supposed to be running. 3 minutes running 30 seconds walking for 1 mile. But it was cold. And on top of not doing much training the day before I didn't have enough motivation or discipline to get out there. But I made up for it this morning and earned the crazy badge at the queer hiking meet-up I went to (not literally, but several people did say I was crazy for running before going on a long-ish slightly difficult hike).

 

So, what had happened was... Normally it'd be easy to get to the meeting place for the carpool, BUT the buses were completely fucked because of the Baltimore Marathon. Basically, no buses in the marathon zone. Really complicated to figure out because there was no map to easily explain everything. Just a bunch of words that made no sense until I realized that the routes were being split. Like, instead of A -> B -> C -> D -> E, it was A -> B and D -> E, with C being the chunk of the city being occupied by the marathon (for runner safety, and in an attempt to minimize service disruption from large delays due to traffic giving right of way to said runners, no buses could cross the race's route, which was a giant loop). I was going to take a bus that would of let me off a mile from where I wanted to go. But I missed that bus cause I was running late. So I took the lightrail, which let me off a little over a mile and a half away, and obviously I was already running late. So I got this idea what it would be a good idea to walk/run to make up time and hey, it would make up for yesterday! (And this was after falling on the sidewalk (ouch) cause I was on my phone and did not see a really random step up. And once I got to the carpool I realized that I lost my hat and banana at some point during my running (they were in my jacket pocket).)

 

 

So a rough start to the day. I didn't have time to eat beforehand, but we did make a pit stop on the way and I got a breakfast sandwich. Which may have turned out the not be the best idea.... but that's a bit later. The hike was out at Black Rock (I think that's what it's called). About 20 or so people turned up. And for the most part my anxiety wasn't too bad. I spent quite a bit of time talking to someone who turned out to also be asexual. So that was awesome! And I told her about NF, which she might be interested in. Double win!

 

The hike itself was nice. It was steeper than I expected. We were warned, but not that the steepness was all bunched together! The leaves were not beautiful yellows and oranges. Everything was very green. I thought it was fall, but I guess not. I only took a couple of pictures. This one is my favorite (that doesn't have anyone obviously in it):

 

 

And then I got sick on the hike back down... Something didn't agree with my stomach, but I have no idea if it was something I ate or drank today or yesterday. Thankfully, I had something I could use as an emergency barf bag. At least nothing else bad happened today? 

 

I was doing fairly decently at tarot studying, and then I missed the past few days cause I had to finish updating my resume and apply to three jobs before midnight tonight. Adult priorities and procrastination, yay. Tomorrow I have an ace meet-up in the afternoon, so I might get it in before heading out. I might not. 

 

The next element to add will be Coffee & NF time. Or other drink until I get a coffee maker. But I'm not really satisfied with my progress in adding tarot to my routine, so I'm going to have a few more days before moving on.

 

tl;dr See pictures for today. Challenge is eh, more time needed to level up.

[zeroh13]

On 10/15/2018 at 3:52 PM, shaar said:

Oooo tarot!!  I have a few decks here at the house and use them every now and again.  Over the past few months I've been doing simple three-card pulls on occasion and it's stunning how on the mark they are...

 

Also WELCOME BACK!! *^__________^*

I've definitely gotten some uncanny results. I want to get to the point where for at least the majority of the cards, I can do a reading without looking anything up. 

 

THANKS!! 

 

On 10/15/2018 at 3:56 PM, jonfirestar said:

Yay running!

 

Sorry to hear things have been a bit emotionally rough here to follow and support! 

I'm following a program that should lead to me being able to fully run a 5k in 10 weeks. So that should last me through this challenge and the next. Assuming I figure out this whole running in the cold thing. 

 

On 10/15/2018 at 11:35 PM, fleaball said:

Super simple and doable. I love it!

It seems simple and doable at first, but then things start happening and yeah... I guess the morale of the story is that even the simplest of plans can be hard. 

 

On 10/16/2018 at 7:15 AM, Wobbegong said:

Welcome back, Zeroh! I hope your at-home drama cools down soon. I love the slow-burn challenge, too. There's no rush, right? Good luck! 

Is a few months considered soon?

 

No rush, but it does take a bit to build up some patience and get used to a slow-burn. 

 

On 10/16/2018 at 7:50 AM, Arkania said:

Hey! 

 

On 10/16/2018 at 8:52 AM, Bean Sidhe said:

Welcome back. I know  you can do this. Here to cheer you on

Thanks! 

 

On 10/17/2018 at 10:50 AM, J3NN said:

Glad to see you back! I love how you've set up the challenge, I think that's a great idea and may steal it for future challenges! Good luck!

Steal away!

 

[jonfirestar]

Just now, zeroh13 said:

I'm following a program that should lead to me being able to fully run a 5k in 10 weeks. So that should last me through this challenge and the next. Assuming I figure out this whole running in the cold thing. 

 

 that's how I started, and now I'm doing ultra marathons  The cold is a huge challenge, I agree. Sometimes it's just a matter of bundling up and getting out there. 

[Tateman]

Glad to see you back. good lookign challenge to me. I am working on adding in thinsg into my routine too. I too have spent many a time in bed just sitting in there. I know I will have more days like that. Just have to ty to do what I can to get moving

[Bean Sidhe]

It sounds like you are making progress, even if its not the amount of progress you want.

 

I bet the hike was so pretty. Its not great you lost your hat and banana but at least you got to spend some time in nature even if breakfast had a moment of disagreement about it. I love looking at the pictures you take. It looks so calm out there.

[Loveable_Bouncer]

Yay Tarot! Ugh drama, and wow the running....

 

Glad you were able to figure out your eating disorder and able to get help! I do hope things get better at home for you!

 

I"m personally returning after my own break!