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scalyfreak

Scalyfreak stumbles along, sort of

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On 10/30/2018 at 4:38 AM, scalyfreak said:

1st choice: Tabletop RPGs, focus D&D 5th Edition. The remote team I'm visiting are having a D&D day at work today. I am ridiculously excited and happy about this. :) 

2nd choice: Build a new gaming PC. Nothing high end, just something reliable that can run my massive backlog for me.

 

These are not mutually exclusive. And one of those you can get into with no more than a time commitment. Side note, if you need books, PM me.

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On 10/30/2018 at 4:38 AM, scalyfreak said:

 

It evolved from a discussion in one of my previous challenges:

 

 

I like your definition of happiness as something you work at rather than something elusive and mysterious. I've been thinking a lot recently about what's been holding me back from seeking more happiness. I think there are two things. Firstly, a "fixed" mindset whereby I treat things I'm good or bad at as innate instead of things I can improve through my own actions--it's a real motivation assassin. And secondly, treating my anxiety as a sign that the thing I'm considering doing is bad and I should run away. Or waiting until I don't feel anxious in order to do something. It turns out these are terrible strategies that have been shrinking my world into nothing. It's like muscular atrophy from lying in bed not lifting, except it's happiness atrophy from not working my happy muscles for 20 years. Anyway, I'm glad that there are nerds here who are thinking about these things whose experiences I can be inspired by. 

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11 hours ago, Grumble said:

 

These are not mutually exclusive. And one of those you can get into with no more than a time commitment.

 

That was the idea. And a gaming PC can do D&D...

 

The business partner I'm visiting decide to show their appreciation for my visit by giving me presents. One of these:

 

Dungeons & Dragons Character Folio - Tavern Brawl

 

And one of these:

Image result for chessex vortex purple gold

 

I've been talking D&D with a few of them, and somehow they remembered. The sheer thoughtfulness behind the gifts made my day :) 

 

11 hours ago, Harriet said:

 

I like your definition of happiness as something you work at rather than something elusive and mysterious.

 

In my mind, making happiness something to work at, makes it something that's possible to attain.

 

According to newsletters I keep getting from some guy named Steve, motivation is an elusive and rare thing that is of no help whatsoever. If we wait until we "feel like" doing something, nothing will ever get done. If happiness is an elusive feeling, then it's just like motivation and we can't ever find it. That's a depressing thought... so I decided it was wrong, and made my own definition instead. :) 

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2 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

 

According to newsletters I keep getting from some guy named Steve

 

OMG some guy called Steve writes to me too! He told me I should change habits by focusing on identity change, not wished-for results. So I dual classed to warrior-scribe. 
 

2 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

 

In my mind, making happiness something to work at, makes it something that's possible to attain.

 

 

So much yes. Such great truthiness. We will keep working until we attain happiness. Or find buried treasure, possibly in the form of an awesome set of greaves made of dragon scales that mysteriously fit us perfectly despite having once been worn by a 7-foot-tall half orc barbarian. 

 

giphy.gif?cid=3640f6095bdbdcae4b68665055

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36 minutes ago, Harriet said:

Or find buried treasure, possibly in the form of an awesome set of greaves made of dragon scales that mysteriously fit us perfectly despite having once been worn by a 7-foot-tall half orc barbarian. 

 

 

This is hilarious because my only active character right now is a tall half orc in dragon scale armor.  :D

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10 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

 

This is hilarious because my only active character right now is a tall half orc in dragon scale armor.  :D

 


This is clearly a sign from the spirits, though I'm not sure of what. :D Maybe it's a sign that I have to write a story about two time travelling psychic nerds on separate but mirrored pursuits of happiness. And greaves. 

 

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11 hours ago, Harriet said:

We will keep working until we attain happiness.

Been sitting on the sidelines of this happiness conversation, but thought I'd chime in.

 

What tends to work best for me is realizing everything is okay, no matter what. Life, reality, the universe, EVERYTHING IS okay, I just might not be okay with it. I do agree with both of you though, happiness really isn't the destination I used to think it was. I have to focus on the journey. Cause every time I've gotten to what "will make me happy"....I'm still f-ing miserable. 

 

I was never happy with things because "I" wasn't happy with myself. Too fat, too nerdy, too socially awkward, too afraid to give a vulcan sign in public, too afraid to say trek is better than wars, too afraid to be me, too afraid to get a divorce, too afraid to try and be happy. Now that I am me...and getting more comfortable with "me-ness" every day, I can allow myself to be happy...some. I rock out to bluegrass, sing as loud as I can, hum songs at work, and say 'no' to people when I need to (sometimes). 

 

Good thoughts here, thanks for letting me jump in!

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23 minutes ago, farflight said:

Been sitting on the sidelines of this happiness conversation, but thought I'd chime in.

 

What tends to work best for me is realizing everything is okay, no matter what. Life, reality, the universe, EVERYTHING IS okay, I just might not be okay with it. I do agree with both of you though, happiness really isn't the destination I used to think it was. I have to focus on the journey. Cause every time I've gotten to what "will make me happy"....I'm still f-ing miserable. 

 

I was never happy with things because "I" wasn't happy with myself. Too fat, too nerdy, too socially awkward, too afraid to give a vulcan sign in public, too afraid to say trek is better than wars, too afraid to be me, too afraid to get a divorce, too afraid to try and be happy. Now that I am me...and getting more comfortable with "me-ness" every day, I can allow myself to be happy...some. I rock out to bluegrass, sing as loud as I can, hum songs at work, and say 'no' to people when I need to (sometimes). 

 

Good thoughts here, thanks for letting me jump in!

 

OMG, saying NO when you need to is an amazing gift from yourself to yourself. I'm also trying to work on feeling okay with me. It's a long journey with plenty of setbacks. But lifting, amazingly, is helping. Apparently deadlifts do more for the self-esteem than any number of self-help books, lol. 

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12 minutes ago, Harriet said:

Apparently deadlifts do more for the self-esteem than any number of self-help books,

AMEN AND GOD do I miss deadlifting....Just something about knowing you can pick up more than you weight...so gratifying...also knowing that if you SNAP and kill a mothaf@#er...you can move the body yourself :-D

 

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2 hours ago, farflight said:

 

I was never happy with things because "I" wasn't happy with myself. Too fat, too nerdy, too socially awkward, too afraid to give a vulcan sign in public, too afraid to say trek is better than wars, too afraid to be me, too afraid to get a divorce, too afraid to try and be happy. Now that I am me...and getting more comfortable with "me-ness" every day, I can allow myself to be happy...some. 

 

This is such an important insight, and far too many of us either miss entirely or shrug it off as irrelevant. I wasted several years of my life firmly convinced that if I only lost weight I would be happy. You can imagine my shock and disappointment with everything else that made me unhappy didn't vanish along with my extra weight. If anything, those factors becamoe more obvious when my "fatness" wasn't there to distract me from them.

 

And the original Darth Vader would have destroyed the Borg. They are no match for the power of The Force. :devilish:

 

1 hour ago, farflight said:

AMEN AND GOD do I miss deadlifting....Just something about knowing you can pick up more than you weight...so gratifying...also knowing that if you SNAP and kill a mothaf@#er...you can move the body yourself :-D

 

 

A vastly underrated benefit of power lifting.

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4 minutes ago, scalyfreak said:

And the original Darth Vader would have destroyed the Borg. They are no match for the power of The Force. 

tenor.gif?itemid=10953826

 

While I may disagree with you (cause you're wrong)...I'd fight to the death defending your right to be wrong...

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On 11/2/2018 at 9:03 AM, Harriet said:

 


This is clearly a sign from the spirits, though I'm not sure of what. :D Maybe it's a sign that I have to write a story about two time travelling psychic nerds on separate but mirrored pursuits of happiness. And greaves. 

 

 

I will read this book immediately.

 

On 11/2/2018 at 12:11 PM, scalyfreak said:

And the original Darth Vader would have destroyed the Borg. They are no match for the power of The Force. :devilish:

Star Wars Darth Vader GIF - StarWars DarthVader Dance GIFs
 
On 11/2/2018 at 12:20 PM, farflight said:

While I may disagree with you (cause you're wrong)...I'd fight to the death defending your right to be wrong...

 

Darth Vader Star Wars GIF - DarthVader StarWars Faith GIFs
 
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I'll admit this, all out battle, toe-to-toe etc. (e.g. marshaling the entire empire fleet (guessing we aren't including the jedi in this fight since we focused on vader)) and the entire collective, yes, I'd say empire would win.

 

But, if the borg were able to begin assimilations, over time, the borg would wear down the empire. Kinda like zombie movies/shows. Realistically, zombie are weak and stupid, their advantages: sheer numbers, persistence, attrition. Some tired storm trooper, some person pissed off and doesn't report for duty or shows up late...borg would get in (assuming its not all out "traditional" warfare. 

 

Admittedly though, if its universe vs. universe (i.e. everyone in their respective universes vs. the other), star wars would prolly...win...

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3 hours ago, farflight said:

Admittedly though, if its universe vs. universe (i.e. everyone in their respective universes vs. the other), star wars would prolly...win...

 

You alright? You seem have a lot of trouble finishing your thoughts out loud lately. I'm just concerned for your well being.

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Thoughts are fine...just having a little fun with the Size options for typing...

 

Back to happiness :-D, didn't realize we were derailing thread.

 

Happiness is the JOURNEY, not the destination, hafta keep reminding myself of that.

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24 minutes ago, farflight said:

Thoughts are fine...just having a little fun with the Size options for typing...

 

Back to happiness :-D, didn't realize we were derailing thread.

 

Happiness is the JOURNEY, not the destination, hafta keep reminding myself of that.

Superman Missed The Joke GIF - Superman MissedTheJoke Slow GIFs
 

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On 11/5/2018 at 2:15 PM, farflight said:

 

Back to happiness :-D, didn't realize we were derailing thread.

 

Star Wars is directly connected to Happiness! How dare you imply otherwise!

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One more status update, and after this there is a good possibility I go even more quiet for this week than I was for last week. Because I AM ON VACATION!!! :triumphant:

 

Finally!

 

Husband and I checked in at a off-strip Vegas hotel early afternoon, immediately sought out food, and then went our separate ways. He took off towards the Poker room, I headed for the gift shop and fitness center, and after locating and exploring the spa, I had a very nice workout with their big dumbbell rack. Tomorrow I have a spa appointment for something called an Island Oasis Massage, and will hopefully be able to hunt down someone for a full pedicure as well.

 

1.Physical stress management

1a. Go to the gym three days per week.  Aiming for Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday this week.  Progress this week: 1/3 Progress overall: 6/12

1b. Stop eating like you’re still in college. This will be... challenging. Wish me luck...! Progress 7/28

 

2. Mental stress management Did I mention I'm on vacation? :D

This is going to be the exact same as the last challenge:

2a. Mediate every day, without fail. This is critical for mental health and for keeping the stress at bay. This failed this morning and last weekend. Still feeling great and mentally relaxed, but that could easily be because of the change of scenery. Progress: 13/28

2b. Get enough sleep. Soooo... vacationing in Vegas. I can probably guarantee myself five hours per night. When they will start... who knows? Progress: 9/28

 

3.The Happiness Factor

Now that I have a working definition of happiness, it’s time to start working actively to getting myself to that point.

3a. Set up a full recycling central at home, so as little as possible goes in the trash.

Partially on hold since I am not at home. Am reading in the Facebook group, to educate myself while I'm waiting to get back home.

3b. Get a hobby.

1st choice: Tabletop RPGs, focus D&D 5th Edition.

2nd choice: Build a new gaming PC. 

It has been far too long since Husband and I traveled anywhere, just for fun, and had adventures together. We should do this more often, since this makes us both happy. :) 

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18 hours ago, Grumble said:

If it's still playing, you should check out Zumanity. 

Also, breakfast places of note are Babystack and Egg Works.

 

We thought about going to at least one show, and Cirque was definitely one we considered, since we've seen some of their productions before and loved them. Thing is, we already have tickets to this three-day event that will take up our entire weekend, and we didn't want to be too ambitious. We're both mentally drained from our respective work-related Stress Monsters, and the purpose of this trip was to relax. Also, no Zumanity tickets except on the weekend. ;) 

 

4 hours ago, CourtnieMarie said:

WOOHOO!! have fun! super impressed you're dedicating time to the gym while on vaca

 

Of course I do. The gym is Happy Place. :) 

 

It's actually very high on the list of things Husband and I look for when we travel... the hotel must have a fitness center with weights. 

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20 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

 

 

We thought about going to at least one show, and Cirque was definitely one we considered, since we've seen some of their productions before and loved them. Thing is, we already have tickets to this three-day event that will take up our entire weekend, and we didn't want to be too ambitious. We're both mentally drained from our respective work-related Stress Monsters, and the purpose of this trip was to relax. Also, no Zumanity tickets except on the weekend. ;) 

Always wanted to play Rocket League. Looks like a ton of fun.

 

20 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

 

Of course I do. The gym is Happy Place. :) 

 

It's actually very high on the list of things Husband and I look for when we travel... the hotel must have a fitness center with weights. 

It's important enough it's even in my company profile for traveling. I had to justify a pricier hotel one trip because it had a better gym.

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1 hour ago, Grumble said:

Always wanted to play Rocket League. Looks like a ton of fun.

 

It's important enough it's even in my company profile for traveling. I had to justify a pricier hotel one trip because it had a better gym.

 

It's going to be so awesome. We've scouted around the arena so we know where to go tomorrow... :)

 

And it's in my company travel profile as well. I even made a note that I will pass on included breakfast, if the alternative is to go without a hotel gym.

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