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Terra

Terra: Part 2 - Changes in Attitudes -> Finding my Harbor

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Terra: Part 2 - Changes in Attitudes -> Finding my Harbor

 

I started last month with the Primal Blueprint 90-day Journal as my starting point.  I had some success with a couple of my goals but not all of them.  This is OK, I had too many big goals to focus on all of them at once.  That being said, my goals have not changed for this challenge.  

 

My generic Goals (details are in my workbook/on Instagram):

1- Reduce excess body fat

2 - Declutter my home

3 - Improve endurance

4 - Continue my Brazilian Jui-jitsu practice and the strength/conditioning classes

5 - Find ways to improve my work environment

 
That seems like a lot of stuff but I don’t have to focus on every goal every week.  I can focus on one thing at a time if I want.  Not to mention goal #4 is just maintenance of my habits that are already part of my life.   Last month I wrote up specifics for each goal on the experimental pages of my workbook and I posted them to my Instagram account for accountability

I was very successful last month with goal #2.  It is still a work in progress but I got rid of a lot of excess stuff and I will continue to do so for the foreseeable future!  Goals #4 and #5 also saw my attention and things are progressing with them. I did not spend much of my energy focused on goals 1 or 3.  I also did not fill in many of the pages in my 90-day workbook.  I have room for improvement.  

 

NOTHING NEW ABOVE^^  My new thoughts are below

 

 

Do you ever go through a short period of life where one song keeps popping up all the time?  It is most poignant when that song isn’t new or particularly popular at this time.  This last month I have heard the Jimmy Buffett song “One Particular Harbor” in this way.  It always comes up when I am in the car and switch the radio to Radio Margaritaville and it often hits my playlists while in my office.  And yes, I’ve been listening to lots of Jimmy lately, but the man has so many amazing songs.  Why do I keep hearing this one???  

 

 

Lyrics

Spoiler

 

*Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei
Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei

 

I know I don't get there often enough
But God knows I surely try
It's a magic kind of medicine
That no doctor could prescribe

 

I used to rule my world from a pay phone
Ships out on the sea
But now times are rough
And I got too much stuff
Can't explain likes of me

 

Chorus:
But there's this one particular harbour
So far but yet so near
Where I see the days as they fade away
And finally disappear

 

But now I think about the good times
Down in the Caribbean sunshine
In my younger days I was so bad
Laughin' about all the fun we had

 

I seen enough to feel the world spin
Mixin' different oceans meetin' cousins
Listen to the drummers and the night sounds
Listen to the singers make the world go 'round

 

(pan solo)

 

*Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei
Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei

 

Lakes below the mountain
Flow into the sea
Like oils applied to canvas
They permeate through me

 

And there's that one particular harbour
Sheltered from the wind
Where the children play on the shore each day
And all are safe within

 

Most mysterious calling harbour
So far but yet so near
I can see the day when my hair's full gray
And I finally disappear

 

*Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei
Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei

 

Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei
Ia ora te natura (ua pau te maitai no te fenua)
E mea arofa teie ao nei

 

Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei
Ia ora te natura (ua pau te maitai no te fenua)
E mea arofa teie ao nei, hey now, hey now, hey now

 

Ia ora te natura
E mea arofa teie ao nei

 

Ua pau te maitai no te fenua [bounty of the land is exhausted]
Te zai noa ra te ora o te mitie [but there?s still abundance in the sea]
Ua pau te maitai no te fenua
Te zai noa ra te ora o te mitie


*Language is Tahitian

 


After lots of thinking I am going to take this as a wakeup call to get myself back into the habits that make me a good parent, wife and all-around person.  I have been heavily into escaping reality because some parts of my life suck right now, but I am not doing myself any favors.  So, I will put down my escape into fiction and find that magical harbor where I can be the person who I want to be.  That one particular harbor where I am the best Terra possible.  Where I am a good example for my girls, where I am a productive human being, a partner to my hubby and where I am taking care of me. 

 

I have got to find the willpower/motivation to stop escaping into a book when I am stressed.  My family and my health are suffering from my escape.  
 

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I'm off to a slow start with this challenge but it was planned.  Last night I drove to ABQ because Titanium Mickey had a orthopedic appointment first thing today.  So no exercise.  But we stopped at our favorite good food place (roasted head of cauli for an appetizer and I had to fight her for my half!!!) Tonight we are going to spend mom and daughter time trying to figure out what we can do to make our PT exercising more routine so that she can avoid surgery in 2019!!! 

 

Its been weirdly rainy here and I miss the sunshine.  Here is to spending some good time with my girls tonight!!!  

 

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For the most part it was a good night.  Its hard to not butt heads with the 13 year old and the 11 year old is just into hiding right now.  We made some progress and we will be using Habitica for tracking and accountability.  Titanium Mickey wasn't happy because I logged back into the app and I'm at level 80.  But we made our own party and will be working towards some goals!  

 

Tonight is BJJ and conditioning class.  I'm feeling out of shape and a little creaky in the joints.  I need to do a little mobility work to rid myself of the constant "Rice Krispy" noises that come from my body!  {I was going to find a gif for this but half of them were in black and white! Yikes!} . Titanium Mickey wants to come to adult class but I know she won't do much because of the knee.  So I need to be supportive and not get frustrated with her.  I will do my best to be a good example for her and stay positive.   I'm not sure what to do about Baby Black Widow and her lack of any kind of drive to do anything. I have to figure out how to connect and encourage her...  

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I made it to classes on Wednesday night and Thursday night, but not today.  I'm a little sad to have missed class yet again to get a paper out the door to someone who is out of the office for the next week.  (that was a HUGE frustration, why give us a due date if you aren't going to even be there!!!  EURGH!!!)   

 

Lots going on this weekend.... I'll better update on Monday.  Right now I just want to finish up one thing at work and leave for the weekend.  

 

 

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I know I wrote something more last week.  I wonder where it went...  

 

Whew, what a crazy mess my life is right now!  I'm overwhelmed at work, the hubby is grumpy at me, both girls have their phones taken away because of not turning in homework.  And on top of that I'm looking for a new job and trying to do something more fitness wise.  I hope to get back to taking care of me soon.  

 

Song for today:  

 

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Back to my normal checking in.  Yesterday we got the call from Professor, asking us to teach the kids classes because he was sick.  I had already put in a 10 hour day at work, and the meeting I was preparing for got canceled.  I was ready to be done with work.  Two kids classes 5-13 year old class was about 25 kids and the little ninjas (3-6) was 20 kids!!!  OMG that was crazy and wiped us out.  The hubby and I did the adult class and went home.  I missed the conditioning class but my energy was tanking.  I actually crashed early last night, I was so tired!!!  Food was OK, but likely too much. 

 

I am reading a book on the psychology of eating, not what or how to eat, but why, how much and when we eat.  I'm hoping to learn some little tricks to help me eat smaller portions.  I eat good food but too much of it (especially when I'm stressed!)   

 

I'm in a MUCH better mood today, yesterday I was just plodding through the gloom and doom of everything.  Today I am more perky and finding some positive things in the world.  I have a lot on my plate and I need to reach out to some folks in an effort to move on to bigger and better things!!!  More later, if life gives me a few minutes to breathe!  

 

 

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Back to a more gloomy day because I woke up feeling yucky with a sore throat.  I am hoping for a mellow yet productive day work with only a couple of meetings including one that I can stay in my office and just listen to it on the computer.  If I'm feeling up for it BJJ and conditioning classes tonight.  Titanium Mickey is planning on going to the adult BJJ class, so I want to go to support her.  

 

Last night I was watching over Baby Black Widow while she was working on her science fair project (just in the writeup phase for right now) but she didn't want my help.  So I sat back, read my book and just kept her on track.  It worked pretty good.  That book I'm reading is interesting and its keeping me interested (sometimes books like this get really dry and unreadable after a while.) Its called Mindless Eating and the scientist in me is intrigued by the many experiments that they performed and the consistency in the responses of human beings!  Link to the Amazon book page and associated web page is below.  

 

Mindless Eating <<  Book link

http://mindlesseating.org/

 

 

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Hope your throat feels better quickly. So nice when kids start to take a bit of confidence in their work, good for BBW for working so hard on her project. 

 

You'll have to tell us whether you gained some insights from the book

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Hoping you avoid all plagues!

I really like the big goal of your challenge. A "magical harbor" sounds like it would be a fantasy place, but what's cool about your challenge is that you are looking for the magical harbor in the real world. Very rangerly.

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Last night Professor  asked me to stay for BJJ class because my hubby was going to get his purple belt.  I felt like poo!  But I stayed and did some of the class and watched the rest.  Then after presenting my hubby with his purple belt, he gave me mine.  I don't feel worthy of it, but its great motivation to get my ass back in gear so I can feel like I deserve the thing!  I might not have the number of hours that my hubby has but I am always willing to jump in and help with the school and teach.  I'll admit I wasn't as excited to teach the teens as I the hubby, but I do want to be the best example that I can be for all of them, but especially the girls.  There aren't may adult women who attend class on a regular basis and of the ones who do I am a good 15 years older.  If I can teach these girls to be persistent, strong, assertive and self-confident, I'll have made a difference!!!   

 

I'll admit I cried a little when he gave the belt to me!!!  And then I got a congratulations note of facebook from Todd Nathanson, who is one of Professor's mentors. ( @Machete you might understand how big of a deal that little note was to me! )  

45623681_2228145067196126_8308567826990366720_o.thumb.jpg.4f111267e10a4183aa3f200068ae8ad0.jpg

Ah, Jui-Jitsu hair, don't care!!!  LOL

 

And now I'm off to figure out how to reverse the mess that I've made of my self.  

 

I'm considering starting working on a fitness certification and starting with the Girls Gone Strong Level 1 Coaching Certification.  Its pricy, but it would be a good place to start.  Any thoughts or advice on this would be most welcome!!! 

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Congrats! You earned that belt, they don't just give them away, you know.:friendly_wink: I get the not being super excited to teach teen, but I think it is awesome that you do it anyway. Teen girls need an awesome mentor like you.

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So proud of you!

 

I don't know anything about specific coaching certification, but like that you are thinking in that direction.

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On 10/22/2018 at 10:06 AM, Terra said:

I have got to find the willpower/motivation to stop escaping into a book when I am stressed.  My family and my health are suffering from my escape.

 

While there will be times for the "fiction escape", I know...WE know that you will be the best wife and mom you can be! I know you'll find that balance out and I'm rooting for you all the way :D.

 

Wolf 

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Related image

 

Congratulations. It's a heavy belt. After a year, I'm still not comfortable with mine. Especially since I'm getting crushed in the few tournaments I happen to be able to make it to. Funny thing, I opened up the gym for open mat today and considered wearing my blue belt. I miss that belt. Haha. I;m no longer alone though; we just had a female student get her purple, after 10 years at blue.

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I had a long chat with Professor about my purple belt on Friday.  It was good.  

 

On 11/9/2018 at 8:30 PM, Machete said:

 

Congratulations. It's a heavy belt. After a year, I'm still not comfortable with mine. Especially since I'm getting crushed in the few tournaments I happen to be able to make it to.

I am definitely feeling the weight of the purple.   I don''t compete and I don't plan to ever compete.  It makes me giggle, the senior divisions often start at 35 years old and I'm a little older that that.  :friendly_wink:  I am grateful that my gym doesn't push competition.  We are focused on self defense.  I just want to learn more, stay relatively uninjured and teach the kids.  Being a good example for my own girls (and all the other girls!) is just a bonus!!!  I was worried that I didn't have the skills of a purple belt.  I do have the skills, but I am a smaller person who has some shoulder and knee problems.  I do still run into little person problems despite my skills, sometimes there just isn't much I can do with a young, bigger, stronger, or spazzy opponent.  I will often pass rolling with these folks we get to know each other. When I do work with them I go slow and try to learn from them.   I hope that over the next several years I can work on putting the skills that I have together in a way that makes me a good purple belt.  

 

I have started to implement some of the changes around my house and office with it comes to the psychology of eating...  Simple things like staying out of the kitchen and putting food behind doors, basically implementing the "out of sight, out of mind" concept.  I have also been working with Titanium Mickey on her knee physical therapy.  I might be gearing up to help my hubby lose a few pounds.  He hasn't done much to get himself there and he is an adult but I can help with the food options and encouragement.  

 

Yesterday was a lovely snow day here!   Its just the start of winter here but I love how this song talks about cabin fever!!!  

 

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4 hours ago, Terra said:

I am definitely feeling the weight of the purple.   I don''t compete and I don't plan to ever compete.  It makes me giggle, the senior divisions often start at 35 years old and I'm a little older that that.  :friendly_wink:  I am grateful that my gym doesn't push competition.  We are focused on self defense.  I just want to learn more, stay relatively uninjured and teach the kids.  Being a good example for my own girls (and all the other girls!) is just a bonus!!!  I was worried that I didn't have the skills of a purple belt.  I do have the skills, but I am a smaller person who has some shoulder and knee problems.  I do still run into little person problems despite my skills, sometimes there just isn't much I can do with a young, bigger, stronger, or spazzy opponent.  I will often pass rolling with these folks we get to know each other. When I do work with them I go slow and try to learn from them.   I hope that over the next several years I can work on putting the skills that I have together in a way that makes me a good purple belt.  

 

Yeah I've tapped to a few good white belts this week. Just the way it is. A part of me still wants to lay the law, but I'm trying to deal with that and just roll. Caring what other people think has been holding me back from so many things in my life, it's about time I started to stop. I'm actually hardly getting people in submissions nowadays; I'm just working on specific things I'm interested in.

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