Respawn with Better Mods

[Loveable_Bouncer]

It’s that time of year again… the snow has settled and I’m restless with myself with my super stress. And weighing heavier than I have ever weighed… Along with unable to wear my size 18 jeans anymore.

 

 

However, finally a different look at duckling steps…

 

 

 My duckling steps in the past were much like Giant footprints… Too big too soon. Blaming myself for not hitting perfection.

 

Rereading NerdFitness articles and realizing I was doing the “all or nothing” mentality far from the correct way. Now I think I have a bit more patience on my goals.

Knowing now if I feel deprived, something is not working for me… But will try for the whole challenge! A challenge to show me why something doesn't work!

 

 

 

 

So here I am now respawning... and avoiding homework as my usual way to go…
 

 

 

The modifications I have that are better than 3 years ago, or even a year ago  

Drinking water is super easy, compared to the last 3 years! If I’m not drinking enough water a stress is happening that is making me uncomfortable. I can easily turn to Kool-aid or even watered down lemonade to help me drink up has been the key.

 

 

My pop drinking is also down, but ever since I took off a medicine that helped with my concentration I’ve been redrinking coffee. I can not drink it at the moment without it being a fourth creamer... That's another battle in another challenge.

Point of view here, I’m ready to lose weight officially. I’m holding onto to it for past reasons I’m ready to let go. I have the most support  I have ever been given, that when I go in somewhere to complain they understand where I’m coming from and tell me I will get through this. Along with if trauma comes through, I have that there too. 

 

I never thought I would be this heavy, last time I saw at the docs was 280s (eek).

 

My goals I’ll be trying on this respawn:

Look at my food - 1 Meal Daily of Doing nothing but eating it

 With any bad relationship, I swear the first thing people are taught is retaking time for their relationship. With personally starting a healthy relationship we are chatting daily… So each day I’m making one meal to sit down and give all my attention.

            (Baby step goal of one day hopefully eating all my food mindfully)

            Reward - Unknown

 

Higher Self – Daily Healing/Meditation

 Putting an hour aside daily and doing deep breathing and mantra with healing touch mediation. Which has helped with resting my brain and gaining energy. My longest record so far is 4 days straight… let’s see if I can beat that? Or at least meat that a couple time J

Reward – Able to take a card daily.

 

 

Being an Amazing Student – At least 1 hr of school work daily, Bonus: finishing an assignment

So I am really behind again with my classes. I had unforeseen juggling three classes would get to me. However, I am still optimistic and still feel it is possible to pass my classes. I was hit full on by depression this last week, and getting up from those ashes and stay out of bed.

Rewards: 1 hour of online/gaming freedom. For the first hour and for each finished assignments.

 

 

 Offically part of this community again  See ya'll around 

 

[Loveable_Bouncer]

 

Bonus Mini Challenge!!!

Because I like quests with mini challenges... I had somewhat of an "Ahah" moment at my interfaith's center service this morning. Knowing I need to stop seeing my never ending list and working one thing at a time. Remembering to take care of myself first. 

The kitchen was screaming... And the food was being begged to be pre-made...

 

So cleaning the kitchen up made lunch and going to attack some dishes to be in the fridge for the week. May even go to the store and get more Tupperware to have at least 2 meals a day not counting snack and not counting what I'm sharing with my mom.... So much food.... If I hit my goals today and pass this Mini-challenge I'm doing super well. 
(I'm also showing how I'm doing amazing compared to 3 years ago when doing more than just cleaning would tire me out). 

 

Rewards:  Will be Tupperware and possibly a lunch bag that I wanted from Walmart... 

[jedi_mind]

You've got some good stuff here, what guild were you gonna join?

[Loveable_Bouncer]

23 hours ago, jedi_mind said:

You've got some good stuff here, what guild were you gonna join?

Thank you for stopping by! Thank you for your feedback! I think I will be doing druid, since I had read some lists there. Matches my personal bigger goals, since I need to do smaller stuff when it come to fitness and food, and slightly bigger steps when it comes to other areas of my life. Along with mainly I like to get my exercise outside, when I do get going on that. 

 

 

This last week didn't go as planned.... I got hit full on by a cold. Yay... 

With my depression mixed in, it has been one of the worst in 2 years. 

 

I wrote up a whole post and then it refreshed... So fudge it. I mainly discovered I had a few good days, and then I got really sick and didn't want to do anything.

Except for my mini-challenge, that went great. I was able to make more food that did make my more productive days easier.

I learned though having dairy in each one wasn't the best for my cold, and reminded me I need to keep a stock pile of sickness food around. Along with needing to throw more meals in the freezer, but only a slight learning curve. 

 

The one thing I do know is that I am at my limit. I have binged bought video games to "feel" like I have control in my life. Yeah not so much lol

Along with hiding from the world when I am tuckered out. 

 

Change up going to happen: 

I need to make my goals higher priority and make them smaller. So updating here like crazy I guess. 

School goals - write down what all needs to get done. Old and new. (A month behind right now, is no good). 

Meditate especially when I catch myself avoiding school work or taking deep breaths. 

Eating will continue to try to be a bit more mindful.