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Salinger's seventeenth challenge!


Salinger

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On 12/19/2018 at 3:35 PM, Salinger said:

Basically first friends advice was 'its a bloody great application but needs more buzz words, more pandering to the reader type thing' ....

 

Ugh what I suck at - marketing. One thing I hate about writing is that after you're done you have to market the damn thing. I'd google some project websites, projects you know were successful, and see what words they used. 

"... However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light." -  Stanley Kubrick

"Difficult for myself? Agent... I was born difficult for myself." - Clint Barton

Challenges:  #1 #2 (mini) #3 (mini) #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20 #21

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https://lefthandlizz.wordpress.com/2018/12/19/56/

 

What wonderful writing :) I can't read it all at work right now, but the imagery and the pace is so well done :)

Current challenge:This is not how daemoncorax used to wake up

Previous challenges: DaemonCorax doesn't go on vacation

(STR 21; DEX 3; STA 10.5; CON 8.3; WIS 15; CHA 2 - but these are SUPER out of date.)

While we have to stay away from the desert, we can always ride our bikes.

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46 minutes ago, Echoceanic said:

 

Ugh what I suck at - marketing. One thing I hate about writing is that after you're done you have to market the damn thing. I'd google some project websites, projects you know were successful, and see what words they used. 

 

Yeah im not good at it either. Great idea to look at other successful projects, thanks! xx

 

41 minutes ago, DaemonCorax said:

 

https://lefthandlizz.wordpress.com/2018/12/19/56/

 

What wonderful writing :) I can't read it all at work right now, but the imagery and the pace is so well done :)

 

Well thank you DC, thanks a lot! Ive written another today...... xx

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I wrote this just now......trying to explain my emotions i guess!!!

 

 

 

“One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.” 

 Jack Kerouac, The Dharma Bums

 

 

There seems to be no explanation for anything, just an intense dire need for us to believe in each other.

 

Fabulous monologues slide off the tongues of self-obsessed romantics, who steal love potions from alchemists, and crave delicious insanity.  

 

I am afraid of changes, the turn of the tide and my excessive drinking.

 

This was not man made but something I was born with; something that grew inside of me, as I grew inside of my mother.

 

My worm consumed nutrients and fluids; iron and enzymes. My brain guzzled literature and art; Foucault and Tchaikovsky.

 

I rotated slowly inside as Bach’s symphony mesmerised my thoughts, I imitated metaphors and hyperboles whilst I struggled desperately to break free, to drown myself in self-expression and revolutionary ideas.

 

Sipping prescription pills beside street narcotics, mixing alcohol with juice box dreams. Getting turned on by blow backs and Polaroid photographs, mixing lonely whiskey chasers with self-harm impulses. I am surrounded by teenage pregnancy, government lies and my parents unfulfilled dreams.

 

I spend my days asking for everything when I myself, have nothing left to give.

 

I am afraid of love, life and flat packed furniture.

 

Sertraline hallucinations consume me today; my mind feels like the melancholy drip from the underachieving tap. Drip, drip, drip, drop.

 

Got to keep my eyes on the prize. What prize? What do you dream of? My friends self-harm, my friends die, the prime minister chuckles at claims her party is killing the youth. I want to go wild, I want to turn feral, my uncontrollable rage at the system threatens to overflow, it intimidates me, it should intimidate you.

 

My anger is overwhelming and impossible to stop. I sit with these thoughts, and close my eyes. I count to ten, and then from ten to zero. I swallow hard, pushing down the bile that tries to escape. I scratch my arm, I nip my skin, I pull at my scars. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. And breathe.

 

Sometimes I am afraid of what you may tell me. That things won’t get better. That the world will implode, and I will be the only one left. Walking the desert for days, weeks, months, years. Walking, just walking into dust. I scream until my throat bleeds. I fall to my knees and punch the ground. I rip at my hair, and I gouge at my eyes. I am alone.

 

Reality settles in, as my phone buzzes. A friend, checking up on me. ‘Hey, how are you feeling today?’ they ask. For one moment I believe there are other people on this planet, I see them, I feel their presence. I call out to them, I touch them. We make love, our tongues dancing in each other mouths. We lick each other’s sweat, we close our eyes and bellow with pleasure. Human contact; raw, evocative and satisfying.

 

‘Go home and tell your parents everything will be okay’.

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Hey all, its almost midday. I havent done a great deal this morning, lay in bed for ages, feeling very depressed, almost thought i wouldnt be able to get up, but i managed it. Shark week has hit, and its sort of funny, because i watched Jaws last night HAHAH :D 

 

Anyway i have come downstairs now and drank tea, and had some toast. I have music on too. Im counting down the hours until i can put the fire on ha....maybe around 3.30pm will be ok. Until then, wooly hat and jumpers. 

 

Ive been thinking about January, and what i want to change. I feel like the NY resolutions are the same every year. Lose weight, do better work etc etc. Well I MAY, MIGHT, MAYBE partake in Dry January !! I am not too sure, because it will be really difficult for me. But im perhaps building it up into a harder thing? 

 

My plan is to do dry January and do one of those virtual races. Pick 25km or 50km and try to make the milage over the month of Jan. What do you guys think? It would be a positive, healthy way to begin the year. But it also might be imposssible :o 

 

Ive found a race id like to do...has a cool medal at the end too! (it has Batman on it!!) could be the motivation i need....?

 

xx

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maybe I missed it.

but you were anxious about rent day.  how did it go?

 

BTW that was ABSOLUTELY.THE.BEST. POEM ever!

I really, really love what you wrote a few posts ago. 

 

...

I've never heard of a virtual race before?  do you mean you intend to run 25-50km?  that would be , mm, a heck of a LONG ways to run.

 

if it were a walk; the 50km, in particular, is a pretty big Girl hike!  so ... respect if you try it and end up falling short!

 

my opinion is that Any exercise increase in exercise for 2019 is a great thing!

 

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https://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/116426-im-awake/

the "NEW" normal is good with me! as Life was Never really Normal anyways....

 

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1 hour ago, Tobbe said:

 

That sounds like an awesome way to start the year! Do it! :D 

 

Yes it DOES sound good, however, im very easily led into the self destruct mode. Or anxiety telling me its impossible etc. Anyway.....we shall see. Im already terrified of trying in case i fail!

 

I will use the little bit of christmas money i get , to sign up (£10 sign up fee which goes to a childrens charity) 

 

Just now, TGP said:

maybe I missed it.

but you were anxious about rent day.  how did it go?

 

BTW that was ABSOLUTELY.THE.BEST. POEM ever!

I really, really love what you wrote a few posts ago. 

 

...

I've never heard of a virtual race before?  do you mean you intend to run 25-50km?  that would be , mm, a heck of a LONG ways to run.

 

if it were a walk; the 50km, in particular, is a pretty big Girl hike!  so ... respect if you try it and end up falling short!

 

my opinion is that Any exercise increase in exercise for 2019 is a great thing!

 

 

Hey TGP.... my landlord was understanding but also a little pissed off i think. Because i can only pay half the rent (which ive done) he has to go into his overdraft to pay bills next week. Which really isnt fair .... i feel so bad about it. 

 

Wow thank you so much regarding what i wrote...that means a lot xx

 

The virtual race is this. ... https://www.powvirtualrunning.co.uk/races.htm you pick one, pick an amount to run throughout the month and if you hit your target, upload evidence, like from strava, and they send the medal! So its not all in one go....its through the month, so i would go to the gym and walk/jog a few km at a time and build up to 25km over the month. 

 

xx

 

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Hey all, 4pm, i have a little bit of a headache to be honest, fire is on though to warm me up and i have some tea to sip. Im tired, sooo tired. But ive worked a bit hard today. I have been working on the dreaded, stupid funding application. It does get me down, but im determined to get past that feeling and try harder. 

 

I may stop a little now and chill a bit, or do a drawing. HEY , remember i said that Everton's goalkeeper from the past, tweeted me in response to my drawing of him?? Well he messaged me on twitter, and asked if i could send him a print of it!!!! WOW. How cool!

 

Also an Everton fanzine has messaged to see if i can do them a drawing to go in next months magazine. So thats a bit of money to come in. 

 

Only 2 sales in 3 days though. Maybe it slows down now because its christmas? Ill prob do a January sale .... hmmm 

 

Tonight Ste is out, well he is out now, at a wedding. He wont get back till late. My plan is so watch the football, chill out a bit, maybe have a bath. Tomorrow ill wrap presents, watch football, relax, do work...Sunday im meant to be going to a gig but im skint and still isolating myself. Then Monday i go to my parents. 

 

So quite busy, but also not busy at all HAHA

 

x

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17 minutes ago, Salinger said:

HEY , remember i said that Everton's goalkeeper from the past, tweeted me in response to my drawing of him?? Well he messaged me on twitter, and asked if i could send him a print of it!!!! WOW. How cool!

 

Also an Everton fanzine has messaged to see if i can do them a drawing to go in next months magazine. So thats a bit of money to come in. 

 

That is awesome! 

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"... However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light." -  Stanley Kubrick

"Difficult for myself? Agent... I was born difficult for myself." - Clint Barton

Challenges:  #1 #2 (mini) #3 (mini) #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20 #21

My Fitness Pal - inactive

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27 minutes ago, Salinger said:

HEY , remember i said that Everton's goalkeeper from the past, tweeted me in response to my drawing of him?? Well he messaged me on twitter, and asked if i could send him a print of it!!!! WOW. How cool!

 

Also an Everton fanzine has messaged to see if i can do them a drawing to go in next months magazine. So thats a bit of money to come in. 

 

This is great news! Especially the last sale, to the fanzine. Means you get a little publicity too! That can only be great :) 

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2 hours ago, Salinger said:

its through the month, so i would go to the gym and walk/jog a few km at a time and build up to 25km over the month. 

 

You can do it Sal! There's been a few times i think you've mentioned walking 3 miles or so in one go? You can knock this out of the park, you've got this. *breaks out pom poms*


All this about the Everton things is SO SO COOL

 

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Matthew 25:34-40

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The virtual running race sounds like a great idea. I've obviously been fighting with my myself over having energy to do stuff recently. Having a block to chip away at might do really nicely for you. Even if you just get yourself out for 30 minutes or so, you will feel better afterwards, and you'll see little bits of progress against your goal.

 

On another note, quiet exercise like running, walking, biking, whatever, can be very meditative. It may let some of the things that have been making you cry percolate through a bit more. This may feel rough, but in the long run will help with that difficult road called "processing."

 

*hugs*

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Current challenge:This is not how daemoncorax used to wake up

Previous challenges: DaemonCorax doesn't go on vacation

(STR 21; DEX 3; STA 10.5; CON 8.3; WIS 15; CHA 2 - but these are SUPER out of date.)

While we have to stay away from the desert, we can always ride our bikes.

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32 minutes ago, Miaulin said:

 

You can do it Sal! There's been a few times i think you've mentioned walking 3 miles or so in one go? You can knock this out of the park, you've got this. *breaks out pom poms*

 

 

 

Yes i can/have walked 3 miles/5 miles. Just need to do it more often...Thanks for the support!!!!!!

 

32 minutes ago, Miaulin said:

 


All this about the Everton things is SO SO COOL

 

 

Yes thanks a lot :) xx

 

27 minutes ago, DaemonCorax said:

The virtual running race sounds like a great idea. I've obviously been fighting with my myself over having energy to do stuff recently. Having a block to chip away at might do really nicely for you. Even if you just get yourself out for 30 minutes or so, you will feel better afterwards, and you'll see little bits of progress against your goal.

 

On another note, quiet exercise like running, walking, biking, whatever, can be very meditative. It may let some of the things that have been making you cry percolate through a bit more. This may feel rough, but in the long run will help with that difficult road called "processing."

 

*hugs*

 

Thanks DC. i think it will be good for me yes. I do think i need a goal to motivate myself. 

 

Thank you *hugs back* xx

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4 hours ago, Salinger said:

HEY , remember i said that Everton's goalkeeper from the past, tweeted me in response to my drawing of him?? Well he messaged me on twitter, and asked if i could send him a print of it!!!! WOW. How cool!

 

Also an Everton fanzine has messaged to see if i can do them a drawing to go in next months magazine. So thats a bit of money to come in. 

This is brilliant! B)

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Morning all... how is everyone? Saturday 22nd :o almost Christmas. 

 

Today i have a proposal to write, some funding stuff to do, presents to wrap, football to watch....willl be quite a relaxed one i hope. 

 

Something im NOT relaxing about is .... you guessed it.... money! ugh i got a bank charge unfortunately, again. and i have £40 to last me until 6th January. That isnt good when it will cost £18 to get to my parents on the train, and then on Christmas Eve, i have a hair cut (£30) so you see it already doesnt work. 

 

I HAVE to get my hair cut. My parents will comment otherwise, because its a big fucking mess at the moment :(

 

I desperately need to sell something.

 

I was crying last night, over the stress of it. 

 

i need a drink. x

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