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Salinger

Salinger's seventeenth challenge!

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Hello all. 6.30pm here freeeezing out. But im in a cosy warm living room, fire and fairy lights on, i just lit a candle, and also made a cup of tea. Maybe ill even have a little chocolate too...naughty. 

 

Today has been alright actually, ive done a lot of work on my sound piece. Need to figure out how to 'display' the work. I practised guitar a lot, i havent lost any chords and i had fun. 

 

I roasted some veggies, and had pork chops and kale with it. I have a load of veggies over, so that will be easy to heat up alongside some protein in the coming days. 

 

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YUM. 

 

I am coming down with something though, my throat hurts and ive been sneezing and a little stuffy in my head. I will drip tea and take a lemsip before bed i think. Maybe have a hot shower or bath as well. Annoying really, i better not be ill for when i am in London....!!!

 

Regarding my friend, i have just decided to try and get over it. Its very very selfish of me to feel that way towards her regarding her ex, and my affection for her is just frustrating and confusing. ugh. But enough of that. My heart has a massive wall around it. 

 

And ive decided to be light hearted and create a lonely hearts ad. For my art...hhehehhehehehehe https://www.lizzbrady.com/love-me

 

I may do more with this, maybe an exhibition FILLED with tragic lonely hearts adverts?? HAHA

 

Im listening to music, and sipping my tea and trying to not feel too sad xx

 

 

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On 11/24/2018 at 7:26 AM, Salinger said:

The gym 3 times per week has been a big fat FAIL this week. i only went once. hmmmm. Need to perhaps get it done early in the week? Ill do better next week. Im running out of time :(

 

Going earlier in the week works for me. I tend to run out of energy as the week goes on.

 

On 11/24/2018 at 3:48 PM, Salinger said:

ok ok ignore me guys, fucking hell what a dick i am. How can i be short with her, as if its her fault?? Its not. Even though maybe she shouldnt have slept with me (6 months ago or so) Just spiked more feelings i think. 

 

Ill push the feelings away, build the wall up on my heart and get on with it. 

So sorry Sal. Don't beat yourself up for feeling what you feel. Might it help to have some distance from the friend for a while? Don't torture yourself spending time with her.

 

On 11/24/2018 at 3:51 PM, RES said:

You're not a burden, just in your feelings about some things, it's natural to have that this time of year.

I've just started following you so not going to pretend to know your story, and never want to presume anything. This is a safe space for you to vent away if you need to

Exactly that.

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Hey Sal.  I’ve been noticing my mood/mental state is much lower in the evenings as well.  I don’t think the darkness and cold help......

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7 hours ago, Xena said:

 

 

So sorry Sal. Don't beat yourself up for feeling what you feel. Might it help to have some distance from the friend for a while? Don't torture yourself spending time with her.

 

 

Thanks Xena. Well she lives in Italy, so we dont SEE each other much but generallly chat every day. Ive been a little cold towards her which i do feel bad for. I will just push the feelings away. xx

 

5 hours ago, Rinna said:

Hey Sal.  I’ve been noticing my mood/mental state is much lower in the evenings as well.  I don’t think the darkness and cold help......

 

Yes agree Rinna, hope things get better for you soon. We can do it <3 xx

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Morning all, 8.45am and freeeeezing as ever. Sat on the sofa with my hood up, and a steaming hot cup of tea. 


Today i have a study session with a friend in town. Basically we meet and work for a good few hours. Its nice to work somewhere other than my front room! Gets me out the house. Plus socialising and not isolating myself.

 

Im tired though, even though i slept well. Was woken by shouting in the street. A woman screaming that her partner had killed her dog :o 

 

80MK.gif

 

Horrible.....sad :(

 

Anyway lets not think of that....

 

I also need to get some milk at some point and pick up my medication. So i have a busy day!! But good to keep distracted for sure. x

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12 minutes ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

Am I the only one still drooling over yesterday's culinary alchemy?

 

Surely I can't be alone here.

You're not, I'm just playing catch up on the forums! Good thing I remember to eat before checking threads :lol: 

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On 11/26/2018 at 12:26 PM, EmCee said:

Totally here for this & it seems you’re off to a good start already! 

 

Good to have you here!!

 

On 11/26/2018 at 5:15 PM, shaar said:

Yay for busy days, sometimes those are just what we need to keep moving forward!

 

Yeah you are right!

 

22 hours ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

Am I the only one still drooling over yesterday's culinary alchemy?

 

Surely I can't be alone here.

 

Haha thanks!!!! 

 

22 hours ago, RES said:

You're not, I'm just playing catch up on the forums! Good thing I remember to eat before checking threads :lol: 

 

hehehehe

 

22 hours ago, jstanlick said:

You keep posting all these food pics, Sal, and we're going to have to start putting a warning on your thread like @Tanktimus the Encourager's threads.

 

WARNING - *****Don't read this thread hungry******

 

HAH :P

 

16 hours ago, Xena said:

Hope the day was good! Or at least that it ended up better than it started.

 

Thanks Xena...news to follow! x

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Thanks for all the posts guys <3 

 

Well yesterday was fine, good, ok. I met my friend, we did work, i worked on the video for a band, to be shown on the 11th December at a gig. No where near finished but getting through it!!!

 

Had a couple of beers after, and went to hers for shop bought pizza. She lives in a sort of squat kinda place. Pretty cool. 

 

Got home around 11pm, went straight to bed. 

 

This morning woke up, had a bit of a lie in. Was exhuasted. Then back into town as had another meeting with a friend who im working on some things with, including a big exhibition in Venice in May.....so that was cool to catch up and stuff. Got a lot of website changes and things to add, which i will do tomorrow. 

 

We had a couple of beers after too..he bought them cos im SKINT, :( no idea how im going to cope till the 6th.  

 

Need to write down all my outgoings and sort out how im going to cope. ... even from the 6th i have things like pay day loan costs to pay off, other bills, rent to save for etc etc. :( stressing like mad i could cry. 

 

Anyway. Im home now, its 7.45pm. Im freezing, its been raining all day, i just put PJs on and lit the fire. Im listening to music and have a cup of tea. 


My intention was to come home, and drink all the beers i have in the fridge....but instead, i put the kettle on. Im kinda pleased with myself about that. Im home alone tonight, as my housemate is staying with a friend. And i could easilly just get drunk (it is what i tend to do when alone, and even more so if ive had some drinks in town) so a big step for me maybe. 

 

Just going to take it easy, hopefully warm up quickly!!!!

 

Tomorrow, is a bit quieter for me. I have to go get my meds, and some milk. Ill cycle up, 3 miles each way. that will be some exercise (ive been bad so far this week as been out all day both today and yesterday) and then therapy over skype again at 2.30pm. 

 

I can feel myself getting very anxious and thinking of all the bad things ive done and guilt is settling in. But i need to just keep calm, self care, and hopefully be ok...! x

 

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19 minutes ago, Salinger said:

My intention was to come home, and drink all the beers i have in the fridge....but instead, i put the kettle on. Im kinda pleased with myself about that. Im home alone tonight, as my housemate is staying with a friend. And i could easilly just get drunk (it is what i tend to do when alone, and even more so if ive had some drinks in town) so a big step for me maybe. 

Not maybe. You should be pleased with yourself. For today, you've broken out of your habits and replaced them with something that's better for you in the long run. Focus on that. You're doing a great job!

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I'm so late to this! I just read through all 4 pages and, man, so many things!

 

1. Hooray for therapy. Seriously, having someone objective to talk to is amazing.

2. About your friend: Leaving a relationship, even an abusive one, is the loss of something familiar. It's like someone dying. Weird but true for me anyway.

3. Don't paint your helmet. Paint solvents may or may not mess with the plastic.

4. Omg your cooking. I'm roasting things tonight! I MUST!

5. Your weather sucks.

6. Your tea is awesome.

7. I love hearing about how you're sneaking your walking in with the bus. Everyone is so car-centric here. This seems very nice.

 

Keep going strong Sal. Black hole moments or self doubt are still just moment.

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6 hours ago, Salinger said:

Need to write down all my outgoings and sort out how im going to cope. ... even from the 6th i have things like pay day loan costs to pay off, other bills, rent to save for etc etc. :( stressing like mad i could cry. 

This is my area of expertise. I use a spreadsheet but you could just as easily use a piece of paper. Write down what you owe, what the minimum payments are, what else you need (transportation, food, etc...) for each pay cycle. Work on one thing at a time, get the smallest one paid off then roll what you were paying on that into the next one. Be realistic as to what you need for expenses, if not you'll end up getting further in debt...it takes time but putting it down into a budget and following it can help to relieve the stress, it can be overwhelming at times!

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1 hour ago, RES said:

This is my area of expertise. I use a spreadsheet but you could just as easily use a piece of paper. Write down what you owe, what the minimum payments are, what else you need (transportation, food, etc...) for each pay cycle. Work on one thing at a time, get the smallest one paid off then roll what you were paying on that into the next one. Be realistic as to what you need for expenses, if not you'll end up getting further in debt...it takes time but putting it down into a budget and following it can help to relieve the stress, it can be overwhelming at times!

This is great debt reduction advice! Practical and realistic.

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14 hours ago, Cheetah said:

You're doing great!  Keep up the good work!  Just keep breathing, one foot in front of the other, you can do it!

 

<3 thank you Cheetah!! x

 

14 hours ago, jstanlick said:

Not maybe. You should be pleased with yourself. For today, you've broken out of your habits and replaced them with something that's better for you in the long run. Focus on that. You're doing a great job!

 

Thanks J!! Yes good point, i AM proud....x

 

13 hours ago, DaemonCorax said:

I'm so late to this! I just read through all 4 pages and, man, so many things!

 

1. Hooray for therapy. Seriously, having someone objective to talk to is amazing.

2. About your friend: Leaving a relationship, even an abusive one, is the loss of something familiar. It's like someone dying. Weird but true for me anyway.

3. Don't paint your helmet. Paint solvents may or may not mess with the plastic.

4. Omg your cooking. I'm roasting things tonight! I MUST!

5. Your weather sucks.

6. Your tea is awesome.

7. I love hearing about how you're sneaking your walking in with the bus. Everyone is so car-centric here. This seems very nice.

 

Keep going strong Sal. Black hole moments or self doubt are still just moment.

 

Wooo glad to have you here! Yes life is up and down constantly haha

 

Did you roast things?!

 

Yes the weather here is crap lately! :(

 

Thanks so much for that, will remember it when im next feeling the self doubt xx

 

8 hours ago, RES said:

This is my area of expertise. I use a spreadsheet but you could just as easily use a piece of paper. Write down what you owe, what the minimum payments are, what else you need (transportation, food, etc...) for each pay cycle. Work on one thing at a time, get the smallest one paid off then roll what you were paying on that into the next one. Be realistic as to what you need for expenses, if not you'll end up getting further in debt...it takes time but putting it down into a budget and following it can help to relieve the stress, it can be overwhelming at times!

 

Thanks RES!! I will do this today, it may help my anxieties. <3 your advice is great xx

 

7 hours ago, jstanlick said:

This is great debt reduction advice! Practical and realistic.

 

Yes RES is awesome!! xx

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Hey all.... its 10.45am. Cold so the fire is already on and i have a big cup of tea by my side. The cats are both lazing around by the fire, no fighting which is a miracle hahaha

 

This morning i was up at 8am, didnt sleep very well to be honest but hey ho...I got up and nipped to the shop for bread, cereal and milk. And picked up my medication. Ive taken my meds, and had some toast with marmalade mmmmmmm

 

Today is a slightly quieter one, working from home. Sorting stuff out, doing some washing, cleaning the kitchen, eating healthy food, etc etc. Im tired, and sad, and anxious but im doing my best to get through that. 

 

I also have therapy at 2.30pm so i hope it goes well again. 

 

I go to London tomorrow, for two nights. Its my best friends 40th!! (she is 10 years older than me!!!!) and there will be a massive house party. eeek, im a bit panicky about it but it will be great im sure. Fed up of panicking and being anxious about every little thing that happens. ugh. Anyway, my train is around 1.30pm tomorrow, so will pack for that as well later on. 

xx

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28 minutes ago, Salinger said:

Hey all.... its 10.45am

 

It sounds like you're off to a good morning!

 

I hope the therapy goes well. Perhaps talk to him about your anxieties about the house party?

 

London is pretty grey, wet and cold at the moment. But I imagine that Manchester isn't so different XD

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2 hours ago, Ann of Vries said:

 

It sounds like you're off to a good morning!

 

I hope the therapy goes well. Perhaps talk to him about your anxieties about the house party?

 

London is pretty grey, wet and cold at the moment. But I imagine that Manchester isn't so different XD

 

Thank you Ann, good idea. 

 

Yes grey cold and wet here too! :( x

 

1 hour ago, Charlie_Quinn said:

What part of London are you going to? Wherever it is, bring a rain coat because it's bloody horrible right now!

 

Hackney! xx

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