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Wild Wolf

{Wolfpool} Always Two Steps Ahead Pt. 1: "The Gauntlet"

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4 hours ago, Starpuck said:

This is the absolute WORST comparison....  GOOD GRIEF!!!!   

 

HAHAHA :D!

 

4 hours ago, Starpuck said:

But the pomegranate pic was pretty adorable, so that made up for it.

 

Like I said below...you and Raxie are such opposites when it comes to things that make you go "squee" :lol:

 

4 hours ago, Starpuck said:

It's a busy time of year Wolf, I think everyone is struggling to keep the plates spinning, so don't worry about it too much.  January's are GREAT for realigning focus on fitness-y stuffs.    Sometimes you just gotta 'make it through the chaos'.

 

 

Chaos....lol. That's why the title to my battlelog is "How to be Swanky and Master Chaos" because it is a bitch to manage most of the time. You're right though. It's the nitty gritty of the holiday season and January will be a great place to "realign" myself and my goals. I'm still not giving up on 2018 yet! 

 

Related image

 

4 hours ago, TimovieMan said:

Haven't looked into Anthem much, no. But that's mainly because I've never bothered with multiplayer games. I focus on single player games.

And even then I tend to wait until the definitive GotY version is released, so I have all the DLC at once. :P

 

If you don't like MP games, then yeah, you prolly won't enjoy Anthem all that much. You can play the entire story mode solo, but a lot of the endgame stuff is gonna require a full team to complete. My dad does the same thing you do-he usually waits for a GotY edition or one that has all the DLC's. He just recently did that for The Witcher 3. It was like $30 to get the game + EVERYTHING else that came out with it. 

 

4 hours ago, TimovieMan said:

 

Back when Mass Effect 3 was new, I remember diving in the game's files to double all the "War Asset" values, so I could get the best ending without ever having to worry about the multiplayer aspect of the game.

I loved ME3 and wasn't that much in arms over the original ending - you can't shoot down a game over a faulty last hour in a 60-hour game after all - but I still detested the fact that you had to play a bunch of multiplayer games to get the most out of your single player campaign. So I bypassed that. :P

 

I like team based gamed. I also like single player games like The Last of Us or Uncharted. For me, it's all about the experience. Anthem wouldn't be near as appealing if I didn't have a bunch of friends who wanna play it too. One of these day's I'll complete the whole ME series.....

 

....one of these days. Lol. 

 

50 minutes ago, Raxie said:

The holiday season is so tough - you're doing great!

 

Thanks, Raxie :D 

 

50 minutes ago, Raxie said:

Also omg baby creme bruleeeeee!!! <3

 

HAHAHA! You and Puck are complete opposites! She's like "eww" and your like "squee" hahaha. 

 

Wolf

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STORY UPDATE: CHAPTER TWO

*apologies for any grammatical errors and thank you for reading!*

 

 

Chapter 2: Unwelcomed Guest

 

Lucky for Colwyn, he hadn’t been the only one late that day. And despite a swollen lip, bruised nose and blood stained shirt, he did excellent in his interview. His interviewer, a man named Bandoh, actually appreciated the battle scars Colwyn had accrued in the past half hour. It showed him that nothing would stop Colwyn from getting to the meeting and Bandoh admired the freelancer’s tenacity. Maybe it was the meeting with Ada, though, and maybe not, but, Colwyn felt like he was on fire and that his luck was rapidly raising in stock. He needed a little boost in luck these days. Ever since his Ranger javelin was destroyed about a month ago, Colwyn had a hard time getting a job without the only thing that could protect him outside the walls of Fort Tarsis, a Javelin exosuit. Yarrow wasn’t going to just give Colwyn another javelin. He would have to earn his next one. Unfortunately, javelins were not massed produced and needed a skilled blacksmith to help forge Colwyn a new one. Either that, or you visit one of the other factions within the Fort that used javelins. Sometimes they would let you “borrow” one in exchange for running contracts for them out beyond the wall. Colwyn didn’t know any blacksmiths, so, the likelihood of the former happening was slim at best. Colwyn thought the meeting went well, however, and Corvus was his best chance at getting back in a exosuit as soon as possible.

 

There were three other options available for Colwyn to get back in an exosuit. He wasn’t much for the big exosuit, the Colossus. Besides, the freelancers had ownership over the Colossus and Yarrow nicked that idea too. However, Colwyn did respect any lancer using one. While heavy armored and packing a wallop, the Colossus was slower by design. It was built to take the brunt of enemy aggro with its thick chassis and shield while raining down destruction with it’s heavy weaponry and artillery. And while the Storm javelin was extremely powerful in the right hands, those hands were not Colwyn’s. He lacked the advanced kinetic abilities to pilot a Storm javelin properly and left the Anthem “magic” to the Arcanist. This left Corvus. The questionable intelligence group that served as spies, agents and diplomats for Fort Tarsis. Corvus tended to deal with threats without direct confrontation in there own “signature ways”. They had also created the Interceptor javelin. Smaller than the Ranger and stylishly sleek by design, the Interceptor’s initial purpose was for scouting and infiltration, yet, Colwyn knew the suit could do so much more. In order to gain Corvus’ favor though, Colwyn would need to pass their three part test which recruits dubbed as “The Gauntlet”. And the pass rate was a shockingly low 3%.

 

The fact that Colwyn wasn’t the best test taker never crossed his mind, either. He wasn’t exactly selling his intelligence to the highest bidder, and would rely on his experience as a Freelancer to do the talking at the end of the day. With his first class starting bright and early the following day, Colwyn had left the Corvus building after the meeting and headed towards the north end of the Fort where his apartment was. This time, he did stop back in the market to pick up some ursix-on-a-stick. The sentinel soldier that Colwyn bumped into before was still patrolling the area and gave him the verbal warning he missed earlier, threatening the freelancer with a day spent in the stockyards if he wasn’t more careful. Colwyn restrained from rolling his eyes as he was being scolded and instead gave a mockingly low bow and promised it wouldn’t happen again.

 

Sentinels could be...problematic. Especially when it came to donning the wings of a freelancer. Sentinels were the peacekeepers of Fort Tarsis, resembling the ranger javelin in size and overall look, and were employed by the emperor to protect the people within it’s guarded walls. Colwyn knew that deep down they meant well, but that didn’t make him like the sentinels any more than he already did. The feeling was mutual for both sides, though. The sentinels looked down on the freelancers, calling them reckless show-offs and party boys looking for cheap thrills. They didn’t agree with what Colwyn and the rest of the freelancers did for work and it seemed the two factions were always butting heads because of it. Quite frankly, Colwyn thought that sentinels were just jealous of the freelancers.

 

As Colwyn was nearing his apartment, he couldn’t help but hope for another run-in with Ada. He could do without getting whacked in the face again, but the thought of seeing her made Colwyn’s heart pound against his ribcage with reckless ferocity. With the sun nearly set behind him, the freelancer pilot approached his apartment door and came to a slow halt, noticing the door was cracked open slightly. A chill went up his back and Colwyn clenched his fist. Break-ins weren’t uncommon in Fort Tarsis, but not usually in the area where Colwyn lived. Without hesitation, Colwyn went to the left of the cracked door and pressed his back up against the wall. With his arm closest to the door, he pushed it all the way open, listening for someone caught in the act. He was greeted with silence. In his head, Colwyn counted to three then jumped in view of the open door and let out an audible “AHH!”, but still nothing.

 

With eyes forcefully held open to adjust his sight inside the dark apartment, the cautious pilot entered slowly. Colwyn hadn’t made it two feet into his apartment before a blow to the back of his legs sent him crashing to the floor. With much more grace than he had shown earlier in the day, Colwyn recovered from the surprise attack with amazing speed. After he had regained his feet, another blow blurred past him, aiming for his head. Colwyn had just enough time to dodge the attack and side step the follow-up one. Keeping with the flow of his movements, Colwyn used his sidestep to shove his assailant off balance and pounce on them. He used his knees to try and pin down it’s flailing arms but his attacker writhed underneath Colwyn’s weight and managed to send a knee in his crotch, forcing the freelancer off as he doubled over in pain.

 

It took Colwyn several long seconds to recover from the painful hit and came too just in time to see his apartment assassin take off out the open door, vaulting the stair railing. Anger burned deep in Colwyn’s core and he scrambled to his feet, slower this time, and took off after his fleeing attacker. Just like the assassin, Colwyn vaulted the stair railing and landed on the cobbled street, rolling awkwardly was he landed. His attacker was quick and already had a hundred yards on Colwyn as they neared the market. Fort Tarsis during the evening was a beautiful sight to behold. The lively market area was now lit up with hues of red, orange, purple, and green, giving off a constant “festive” vibe. The “daily deals” were now “nightly knockoffs” as businesses looked to be closing shop soon and doing their best to rid themselves of the perishable items that would spoil overnight.

 

The fleeing assassin avoided the market area altogether, knowing the lights would expose it as well as the roaming sentinels, and took a sharp left, heading towards the strider bay. Colwyn, still recovering from the knee to the crotch, sluggishly took off after them.

 

When Colwyn woke up that morning, he didn’t expect to spend a good chunk of his day running around Fort Tarsis. Even more so, he didn’t expect to be in so much pain doing so. What started out as a day of promising fortune had quickly turned sour. Even the thought of Ada’s honey colored eyes and violet hair couldn’t help now. Colwyn took the sharp left heading towards the strider bay but had lost sight of his attacker. At night, the strider bay was still busy with returning striders from beyond the wall and the many engineers working to repair broken down or damaged javelins. At first, the freelancer pilot was confused, asking himself why his attacker ran into the bay but then realized the hulking giants would make for a great hiding place. He would of probably done the same thing given the circumstance.

 

Well over five stories high, striders were basically walking tank bases. It allowed a freelancer and his or her team to be mobile out in the dangerous world of Mirrus. Each strider was equipped to handle javelin repair, gear loadouts and weapon customization along with everything a cypher would need to aid the freelancer. Colwyn had spent a lot of his youth hanging out in strider bays. His dad had been an excellent engineer and even dabbled in javelin repair on his free time. It was in the strider bay that Colwyn realized that he would one day grow up to be a freelancer pilot. The comforting memory was quickly diminished when a familiar voice called out Colwyn’s name.

 

“Plaigue? What are you doing here?” The deep voice asked. It was Yarrow, leader of the freelancer faction. An imposing force, Yarrow’s questioning gaze almost became comical when he looked at the disheveled state that Colwyn was in. There was a hint of a smile at the corner of his lip but you had to really look to see it. Yarrow’s thick salt and pepper beard covered most of the ancient man’s expressions rather well as he continued to study the young freelancer. Every bit of a spitting image as his mother with his copper colored hair and blue green eyes with the height and brawn of his father, Colwyn Plaigue was one of Yarrow’s best pilots. The problem was, is Colwyn also knew that. He was cocky and brash and tended to be reckless out in the field, looking out for himself above others. Yarrow would never admit it, but he was thankful when Colwyn’s ranger javelin was damaged. Sure, he could of had it repaired for Colwyn, but the kid needed to learn a lesson or two and staying grounded would be the first step.

 

“I...uh...was hoping to find you here. And…” Colwyn forced a smile, shoving his arms out as if he was revealing Yarrow to a crowd of onlookers, “here you are!”

 

Expressionless, Yarrow gruffed. “I’m sure that’s why you’re here…”

 

“I came here to tell you that today, I learned a valuable lesson. I learned that I must treat ALL my fellow freelancer pilots with respe --”

 

“Cut the crap, Plaigue. You’re not getting your javelin fixed. When I said ‘show me you’ve changed’, I didn’t mean for you to give another lengthy explanation on how your time spent grounded has made you a better person. Actions, Plaigue. Not words.”

 

Colwyn was going to rebuttal but quickly caught himself. He had no desire to argue with the old man about his reinstatement right now. “You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking coming here to convince you to let me fly again. I’ll do better --”

 

“You almost got another lancer killed out there, Plaigue. As freelancers, we are constantly knocking on death’s door as we face the many dangers out beyond the wall. There are numerous threats and we don’t need to add ourselves as one of them. You’re a talented and skilled pilot, Plaigue, but you have a lot of growing up to do.” Yarrow finished up, holding the young freelancer pilots gaze.

 

Colwyn, feeling like a child being scolded, just nodded his head in agreement. He was stubborn, but this time, Colwyn knew to quit while he was ahead.

 

“Walk with me, Plaigue.” Yarrow demanded as he strolled past Colwyn with spry agility. For more than a second Colwyn hesitated, knowing his would-be-assassin was still somewhere hiding in the strider bay. Yarrow turned back, realizing that Colwyn hadn’t moved. “That wasn’t a suggestion, Plaigue.”

 

“Sir…”

 

“C’mon. I want to show you something.”

 

Colwyn took one last look inside the strider bay and rolled his eyes. He turned heel and followed Yarrow begrudgingly.

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Quick update:

  • 2/2 24-hour fasts have happened! I'm about to break my fast with lunch :D 
  • Still need 6 cold showers over the next 4 days....I don't really see that happening but we'll see.
  • Chapter 2 is out and I'm gonna start on Chapter 3 this week.
  • I haven't made it to the gym all week. Honestly, I'm gonna fail the PT part of this challenge. I haven't been training as aggressively for it like I initially intended. That's ok though. It just means I have plenty of room to grow and improve.

 

 Apparently the forums are a popular talking point for certain people on Heather's side of the family because NF got brought up last night when we attempted to have a family get together. They think it's weird that I am open and honest "with a bunch of strangers" and not with them. Needless to say, last night went horribly wrong. Things were said from their side that were loaded and laced with hate and it was just a bad night all around. I was being too optimistic about being an open book with them and that's my fault. I should of known myself better than that and taken baby steps instead of offering up everything in one fell swoop. Lesson. Learned. God is a miracle worker, and to mend these relationships, its going to take a miracle now. I'm just shocked by all the judgmental hate...

 

@Tanktimus the Encourager I may need your listening ear and wisdom filled responses today. 

 

Wolf

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5 minutes ago, Wolfpool said:

 

@Tanktimus the Encourager I may need your listening ear and wisdom filled responses today. 

 

Wolf

FB Message me when you want to talk, I can let you know if I'm available or not and that's an unobtrusive way for you to check.

 

In the short term, I have some observations:

  • It obviously has not occurred to them that part of why you are open here is we are kind to you and they judge you. To be hateful then complain you are not open with them is missing something very obvious.
  • Remember they were never crazy about you in the first place
  • Then you had the first crisis several years ago
  • Then you had the more recent crisis (this year, last year? I forget how recently it was)
  • They probably haven't healed the way you and Heather have from all the things that have gone on in your marriage. Not seeing you every day they have the luxury of not thinking about it and having to deal with it
  • Their response last night was probably motivated by pain and hurt, and if you are correct about trying to move too fast with them it probably aggravated an open wound. 
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24 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

FB Message me when you want to talk, I can let you know if I'm available or not and that's an unobtrusive way for you to check.

 

In the short term, I have some observations:

  • It obviously has not occurred to them that part of why you are open here is we are kind to you and they judge you. To be hateful then complain you are not open with them is missing something very obvious.
    • Part of that is my fault. I said I was an open book and then I was asked immediately if I had slept with anyone other than Gaby and I said, "No". Not that I was trying to be deceitful but I answered no. I was stressed out as it was and should of answered honestly, but I didn't. After looking back at the moment I knew two things for certain: 1) I was really uncomfortable. The room felt so heavy with their negative energy that you couldn't light a candle if you tried, and 2) I honestly believe that it's none of their business. I pushed the envelope with the "open book" comment when I knew I wasn't comfortable enough with them to talk about it. And you guys are kind to me. And you don't make snap judgments or tell me I'm a terrible father. I appreciate that fact about y'all.
  • Remember they were never crazy about you in the first place
    • It always seemed that way, anyways. Now they actually have a reason.
  • Then you had the first crisis several years ago
    • Yup.
  • Then you had the more recent crisis (this year, last year? I forget how recently it was)
    • Yup. Yup. (It's almost been a year.)
  • They probably haven't healed the way you and Heather have from all the things that have gone on in your marriage. Not seeing you every day they have the luxury of not thinking about it and having to deal with it
    • Absolutely. They have had zero interactions with me since this all came out. I tried to at least get a conversation going multiple times with them but I was ignored as if I wasn't there. So, I took that as they need more time to heal, and I didn't push the issue. 
  • Their response last night was probably motivated by pain and hurt, and if you are correct about trying to move too fast with them it probably aggravated an open wound. 
    • I have no doubt it was motivated by pain and hurt. I get the attack on my character for what I did, but it was the comments on how I was a terrible dad that really shocked me the most. So, open wound and all, it was like being lowered into a tank of hungry piranha's.

 

Thanks for the reply, dude. Always appreciate your input.

 

Wolf

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Loved, loved, loved the story update!  I still owe you my character background, I really need to get on that...

 

Sorry about the response from the in-laws.  I think Tank is very wise, you won't go wrong listening to him for advice :) 

 

15 hours ago, Wolfpool said:

you don't ... tell me I'm a terrible father

First of all, you aren't.  Second, you still aren't.  You have been very open and honest with us here, and all of the evidence I have seen so far is that you are not only NOT a terrible father, but actually pretty good, caring, and involved one.  Not perfect, but perfection isn't requisite to be a good father.  

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9 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

Not perfect, but perfection isn't requisite to be a good father.  

 

So much this. If being a perfect parent were a requirement for being a good parent the world would be a pretty terrible place.  Everyone is human.

 

Super real talk though - I can kind of understand where Heather's family is coming from to be honest. You didn't go into specifics so I'm not necessarily defending exactly what was said or how they said it, but I imagine if for example, my little sister were in a similar situation I would be INCREDIBLY protective of her and probably very very slow to forgive, no matter what my sister said.  Feeling protective of a family member has caused some rather nasty things to come out of my mouth and I wouldn't be at all surprised if that were the case for others. Like Tank said to be hateful and then complain about your lack of openness is completely counterproductive, but that could be the point - they might not want to be productive and there's really not much you can do or say to get beyond that until they are ready.  They know that attacking your capabilities as a father would probably sting the most, and that's probably exactly why it was said or implied - not because it's close to the truth but because it's obviously the easiest way to be hurtful.  I'm not saying it's right - because it's not - but I get it. And you're right - being less open and treading more slowly in re-forging those relationships may help things go more smoothly.  While the way they are acting is not great its also not totally unexpected or abnormal - and I don't say all this to mean "just deal with it," but maybe try not to dwell on it as much or let it weigh on you so heavily if you can - things said out of hurt or anger are rarely if ever what people actually think is the truth.  You're doing all the right things, and you know you and Heather are stronger than ever and you are an amazing father and that's really what counts.  Everything else will fall into place in due time. 

 

The forum comments are definitely weird though, people who aren't internet savvy can be kind of stand off ish about internet friends but, not to be harsh,  also it's really none of their business? You're allowed to process things however you need to and if we can be here for you I would hope they would be accepting of you having this outlet. But again, it kind of is what it is?

 

On a much lighter note - I loved the story update! Can't wait for more :D

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59 minutes ago, Raxie said:

The forum comments are definitely weird though, people who aren't internet savvy can be kind of stand off ish about internet friends but, not to be harsh,  also it's really none of their business? You're allowed to process things however you need to and if we can be here for you I would hope they would be accepting of you having this outlet. But again, it kind of is what it is?

To be honest I'm wondering if they've just heard about NF or if they are stalking this thread.

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On 12/20/2018 at 6:50 AM, WhiteGhost said:
On 12/19/2018 at 3:03 PM, Wolfpool said:

you don't ... tell me I'm a terrible father

First of all, you aren't.  Second, you still aren't.  You have been very open and honest with us here, and all of the evidence I have seen so far is that you are not only NOT a terrible father, but actually pretty good, caring, and involved one.  Not perfect, but perfection isn't requisite to be a good father.  

 

Quoting once more for emphasis. That was an attack to hurt you and an unfair one at that. Your past struggles with Heather aren't a reflection of whether or not you are a good parent. They aren't a reflection on your parenting at all. 

 

17 hours ago, Raxie said:

Super real talk though - I can kind of understand where Heather's family is coming from to be honest. You didn't go into specifics so I'm not necessarily defending exactly what was said or how they said it, but I imagine if for example, my little sister were in a similar situation I would be INCREDIBLY protective of her and probably very very slow to forgive, no matter what my sister said.  Feeling protective of a family member has caused some rather nasty things to come out of my mouth and I wouldn't be at all surprised if that were the case for others.

 

I've been in a position similar to Heather's (it was family vs boyfriend at the time) and now I am in a similar position from the family perspective. It is so hard. Like, I know that rationally, being the family in the situation means that you probably aren't going to "win" against an S.O. Trying to come between the two will most likely just bring them closer together. In my case, I feel like I'm watching history and I know how the story is going to end (spoiler alert: not well). But I also realize that my part is to support, not judge. It sounds like Heather's family isn't ready to recognize that yet. 

 

I guess part of my point is that if a similar situation has ever happened to anyone in Heather's family, then they are also going to judge you against the actions of the people involved in the past situation, not against your own. All you can do is move forward, continue to be the person you are, and make Heather your priority. It sucks and I'm sorry they are so vocal in their hate, but you know where your heart is and that's what matters.

 

In less depressing news, I thought of you this week as I hit my second full month of swimming twice a week. You are slacking!

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Chiming in with support.  Part of being a good parent is showing your kids that you are human, taking responsibility for your actions, dealing with the repercussions and moving on to fix them.  You are a better father then 90% of the population.   Heather's family is getting out the anger they feel.  Even though it is hurtful to you, it is better in the long run than pretending nothing happened. Hopefully in time they can move out of that phase.

 

Remember you are a great Dad and a great human being!

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Glad you/we've got a Tank for such helpful doses of Wisdom.   Thanks Tank!    Like the others have said, I'm chiming in support.    The protectiveness of family is strong- and something I have to fight when it comes to the marriage partners of my dad and my sister.   I love them, sure, but they make me so angry sometimes and I have to remind myself to back out and let them handle their own business.   It took me a while to get there, but hopefully in time the in-laws will find that path too.

 

I'm still new to the Wolf train, so I only know bits of the history- but seeing you two work together, is a constant reminder of what grace and love looks like to me.   And that's big.  That's bigger than everything else.   Keep on doing what you do for each other.  In the end, your actions and how you life together are going to be what turns opinions and opens hearts.   

 

 

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On 12/20/2018 at 7:50 PM, WhiteGhost said:

I still owe you my character background

As promised, the back story for my guy:

 

Spoiler

 

You would be forgiven for thinking Mr. Aloysius Mathington was a brainless trust fund brat, at least after only a few brief encounters.  It is, after all, the persona that he has worked years to perfect.  Even his name was carefully picked to match that demeanor.  Tall and good looking, Aloysius has mastered the art of meaningless blather to the point that you would never know that he grew up as an orphan on the streets of a Dominion labor slum on the outskirts of Fort Tarsis.  Without anyone to care for him besides his fellow street urchins, Aloyisius (which his friends are quick to note rhymes with vicious) learned quickly that you are either a hunter or the hunted.  His prey of choice, was the rich kids of the Dominion higher-ups with more money than sense.  Rather than trying for quick scams, Aloysius went all in trying to work his way into their circles to steal from the parents and leaving another friend (or the kid himself) to take the blame.  

 

On one of his cons, he caught the eye of one of the parents who was working on a Javelin development program and managed to sweet talk his way into being a test pilot for an interceptor Javelin.  After proving himself a reliable freelancer, Aloysius has largely given up the thievery, except of course if someone really, deserves it.  Which happens surprisingly often, come to think of it.

 

On missions he generally tries to avoid the thick of combat whenever possible, because the likelihood of unwanted bullet holes is always a higher risk.  What's the point of getting rich if you're dead is the motto he lives by. However, cowards don't get missions so he has had to build up a set of specific skills that are critical to missions that don't require staring down a bunch of barrels, such as recon, assassinations, snatch & grabs, and spying.  If you are looking at a fair fight, don't call Aloysius.  If you need someone who doesn't care about honor and is willing to fight dirty, though, he's your man.

 

 

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On 12/20/2018 at 5:50 AM, WhiteGhost said:

Loved, loved, loved the story update!  I still owe you my character background, I really need to get on that...

 

Thanks brother! Y'alls response on the story definitely drives me to keep writing! I like entertaining y'all with my writing :D 

 

On 12/20/2018 at 5:50 AM, WhiteGhost said:

Sorry about the response from the in-laws.  I think Tank is very wise, you won't go wrong listening to him for advice :) 

 

First of all, you aren't.  Second, you still aren't.  You have been very open and honest with us here, and all of the evidence I have seen so far is that you are not only NOT a terrible father, but actually pretty good, caring, and involved one.  Not perfect, but perfection isn't requisite to be a good father.  

 

Thank you, WG! I know that we started to become buds right when everything came out and I appreciate you keeping an open mind about who I am as a person. I'm not a perfect father...The only perfect father is God, and I'll never, ever hold a flame to what He is capable of, but like you said. Luckily, God isn't calling me or you to be perfect dads. He just wants us to love Him, love our kids and raise them to love God. :) 

 

On 12/20/2018 at 2:17 PM, Raxie said:

 

So much this. If being a perfect parent were a requirement for being a good parent the world would be a pretty terrible place.  Everyone is human.

 

Truuf ^^

 

On 12/20/2018 at 2:17 PM, Raxie said:

Super real talk though - I can kind of understand where Heather's family is coming from to be honest. You didn't go into specifics so I'm not necessarily defending exactly what was said or how they said it, but I imagine if for example, my little sister were in a similar situation I would be INCREDIBLY protective of her and probably very very slow to forgive, no matter what my sister said.  Feeling protective of a family member has caused some rather nasty things to come out of my mouth and I wouldn't be at all surprised if that were the case for others. Like Tank said to be hateful and then complain about your lack of openness is completely counterproductive, but that could be the point - they might not want to be productive and there's really not much you can do or say to get beyond that until they are ready.  They know that attacking your capabilities as a father would probably sting the most, and that's probably exactly why it was said or implied - not because it's close to the truth but because it's obviously the easiest way to be hurtful.  I'm not saying it's right - because it's not - but I get it. And you're right - being less open and treading more slowly in re-forging those relationships may help things go more smoothly.  While the way they are acting is not great its also not totally unexpected or abnormal - and I don't say all this to mean "just deal with it," but maybe try not to dwell on it as much or let it weigh on you so heavily if you can - things said out of hurt or anger are rarely if ever what people actually think is the truth.  You're doing all the right things, and you know you and Heather are stronger than ever and you are an amazing father and that's really what counts.  Everything else will fall into place in due time. 

 

The way they acted is definitely not unexpected. It didn't take me by surprise, so to say. I actually imaged something very similar happening when I played the scenario out in my head, but the attack on me being a bad dad was the one that threw me for a loop. I guess the issue with being too protective, is they are not only trying to hurt me, but they are hurting Heather in the process, and they don't seem to realize that. They may be "protecting their sister" but by adversely doing that AND hating me, they are ruining their relationship with Heather too..and our boys. You know that none of them came to any of the boys birthday parties this year? They all did separate things with them either the weekend after or days before to avoid the party because I was gonna be there. When we went to Heather's cousins wedding at the end of August, they ignored me, Heather and our boys. At one point, Heather asked her brother if she could hold his baby, her niece, and he said no. 2 min later he gives Heather's niece to his other brother to hold. I guess he's worried my infidelity is gonna rub off or something, lol. 

 

Trust me, I get being protective. I'm one of the most protective people of the ones I love that you'll ever meet. But, I also know when to swallow my pride and stop making the situation better for myself while destroying the ones around me. Forgiveness isn't even for me - it's for them. They are the ones that have to live with these chains. Not me. I am set free of my bondage and forever grateful for that. 

 

This was a lesson learned on knowing when and where to share things, especially with those that I'm not comfortable being around. I'm an empath and know when I'm not wanted. I will go as long as it takes to give them space and whatever time they still need. The reason we even had the discussion in the first place was because we all wanted to spend Christmas together. The timing wasn't right, it was just convenient. 

 

Thank you for being real with me, Raxie. I appreciate that the most about you guys and that you're not afraid to put it real and/or see it from an unbiased POV ;) 

 

On 12/20/2018 at 2:17 PM, Raxie said:

The forum comments are definitely weird though, people who aren't internet savvy can be kind of stand off ish about internet friends but, not to be harsh,  also it's really none of their business? You're allowed to process things however you need to and if we can be here for you I would hope they would be accepting of you having this outlet. But again, it kind of is what it is?

 

Right?! I guess it is kind of what it is. "How dare you find a safe place to express yourself, Ryan! You don't even know these people! They're strangers on a forum and you would rather be open with them then us." 

That's basically the gist of that and I don't think it's any of their business either. I am SO INCREDIBLE thankful for NF and everyone I call a friend on here and wouldn't change my relationship with this place even if it meant that I was on good terms with them. 

 

On 12/20/2018 at 2:17 PM, Raxie said:

On a much lighter note - I loved the story update! Can't wait for more :D

 

Good! I'm glad you like it :D. I haven't had a chance to work on chapter 3, but I know once I start writing, it'll be done before I know it! 

 

On 12/20/2018 at 3:17 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

To be honest I'm wondering if they've just heard about NF or if they are stalking this thread.

 

Definitely stalking my thread at one point. I dunno if that's still going on, but in the beginning, when everything came out, there was some definite lurking going on. However, it was only partial lurking. Basically reading what they want to read and not the entire thing. They don't understand the relationship I've built with you guys and honestly, I'm not gonna waste my breath trying to explain it or convince them that NF means well. 

 

On 12/21/2018 at 8:25 AM, Sylvaa said:

 

Quoting once more for emphasis. That was an attack to hurt you and an unfair one at that. Your past struggles with Heather aren't a reflection of whether or not you are a good parent. They aren't a reflection on your parenting at all. 

 

Thank you for seeing the truth in that, Sylvaa ;) 

 

On 12/21/2018 at 8:25 AM, Sylvaa said:

 

I've been in a position similar to Heather's (it was family vs boyfriend at the time) and now I am in a similar position from the family perspective. It is so hard. Like, I know that rationally, being the family in the situation means that you probably aren't going to "win" against an S.O. Trying to come between the two will most likely just bring them closer together. In my case, I feel like I'm watching history and I know how the story is going to end (spoiler alert: not well). But I also realize that my part is to support, not judge. It sounds like Heather's family isn't ready to recognize that yet. 

 

No, it doesn't appear they are ready to recognize that fact yet. Her dad and mom are fine-they've been working on the healing part since the beginning. I've had a 1v1 talk with her dad before, way back in March I think, and that went well. It's the siblings that carry all the hate. Hate to the point where her brother flipped out when he thought Heather was trying to say that him and I aren't so different. Which is also fine. Personally, I would be miserable if I was like her brother. I'm thankful for the way God made me and that I am a unique, screwed up individual. I have my faults, things I constantly work on, but I'm never not thankful for being me.

 

Her siblings are at the "you chose him over us" deal and it's made them really bitter and really angry. They made Heather chose and she chose me, so I know what you mean there. The fact they are so adamant about me never changing and Heather making a HUGE mistake has not only brought us closer together but gives me more motivation to prove them wrong. I've always enjoyed proving others wrong, especially when it comes to the integrity of my character. 

 

On 12/21/2018 at 8:25 AM, Sylvaa said:

I guess part of my point is that if a similar situation has ever happened to anyone in Heather's family, then they are also going to judge you against the actions of the people involved in the past situation, not against your own. All you can do is move forward, continue to be the person you are, and make Heather your priority. It sucks and I'm sorry they are so vocal in their hate, but you know where your heart is and that's what matters.

 

Amen! There was another instance in their family where their uncle had multiple affairs and wouldn't give up his mistress, so, there was that. He was also a pastor at the time of all this happening. There could easily be some leftover hurt from that and that was....12+ years ago, I believe. It was before I met Heather. 

 

At any rate, you're right. Heather and the boys are my priority and I know my heart as well as God knows it. 

 

On 12/21/2018 at 8:25 AM, Sylvaa said:

In less depressing news, I thought of you this week as I hit my second full month of swimming twice a week. You are slacking!

 

Whoa boy, am I slacking! Knowing you've been kicking major butt in my absence is awesome, though!! Lots of things are being re-worked for the New Years, and swimming is one of those things ;) 

 

On 12/21/2018 at 2:25 PM, T2sarahconnor said:

Chiming in with support.  Part of being a good parent is showing your kids that you are human, taking responsibility for your actions, dealing with the repercussions and moving on to fix them.  You are a better father then 90% of the population.   Heather's family is getting out the anger they feel.  Even though it is hurtful to you, it is better in the long run than pretending nothing happened. Hopefully in time they can move out of that phase.

 

Remember you are a great Dad and a great human being!

 

Thanks for including me in the 10%, T2 ;) and thank you for your support! Can I just say I'm glad to hear from you? It feels like a minute since I've talked with you. 

 

On 12/24/2018 at 9:27 AM, Rinna said:

Saw this and hought of you....

 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTWpj5a8Ou7zITxOOH8vfT

 

HA! You must knew what Santa Clause was bringing me, lol! My brother got this for me for X-mas hahaha! :P 

 

On 12/26/2018 at 10:37 AM, Starpuck said:

Glad you/we've got a Tank for such helpful doses of Wisdom.   Thanks Tank!    Like the others have said, I'm chiming in support.    The protectiveness of family is strong- and something I have to fight when it comes to the marriage partners of my dad and my sister.   I love them, sure, but they make me so angry sometimes and I have to remind myself to back out and let them handle their own business.   It took me a while to get there, but hopefully in time the in-laws will find that path too.

 

I am also thankful for the wisdom that Tank brings to the table :)

 

On 12/26/2018 at 10:37 AM, Starpuck said:

 

I'm still new to the Wolf train, so I only know bits of the history- but seeing you two work together, is a constant reminder of what grace and love looks like to me.   And that's big.  That's bigger than everything else.   Keep on doing what you do for each other.  In the end, your actions and how you life together are going to be what turns opinions and opens hearts.   

 

 

 

Given that the one true commandment from God is to "love", I gotta agree with you 1000000% here. Everyday I wake up, still married to Heather, is an act of grace and mercy on my life. And a testament to how God doesn't have to bring someone back from the dead to perform a miracle. Our story has already touched others and turned their opinion, so it's not a stretch that the same can happen for Heather's siblings. I'll never be able to force forgiveness on them. And honestly, I wouldn't want that to be the way things went down, anyways. It's been a continued prayer of mine that their hearts would be softened. In the mean time, though, I won't lose sleep if their not. I'm still very much focused on the well being of Heather, my boys and this new baby ;).  Thank you for your kind words, Puck!

 

Thank you everyone for your mature, encouraging responses. I am honestly 100% fine. The hurt has worn off because there are bigger fish to fry here than dealing with some hurt feelings. I hope you all had an amazing and cheer filled Christmas!! I know the Wolfpack did :D. I'll continue to post on this challenge until the new ones are up and I'm looking forward to making 2019 an epic, swanktastic year with y'all! 

 

Wolf

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On 12/27/2018 at 1:22 AM, WhiteGhost said:

As promised, the back story for my guy:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

You would be forgiven for thinking Mr. Aloysius Mathington was a brainless trust fund brat, at least after only a few brief encounters.  It is, after all, the persona that he has worked years to perfect.  Even his name was carefully picked to match that demeanor.  Tall and good looking, Aloysius has mastered the art of meaningless blather to the point that you would never know that he grew up as an orphan on the streets of a Dominion labor slum on the outskirts of Fort Tarsis.  Without anyone to care for him besides his fellow street urchins, Aloyisius (which his friends are quick to note rhymes with vicious) learned quickly that you are either a hunter or the hunted.  His prey of choice, was the rich kids of the Dominion higher-ups with more money than sense.  Rather than trying for quick scams, Aloysius went all in trying to work his way into their circles to steal from the parents and leaving another friend (or the kid himself) to take the blame.  

 

On one of his cons, he caught the eye of one of the parents who was working on a Javelin development program and managed to sweet talk his way into being a test pilot for an interceptor Javelin.  After proving himself a reliable freelancer, Aloysius has largely given up the thievery, except of course if someone really, deserves it.  Which happens surprisingly often, come to think of it.

 

On missions he generally tries to avoid the thick of combat whenever possible, because the likelihood of unwanted bullet holes is always a higher risk.  What's the point of getting rich if you're dead is the motto he lives by. However, cowards don't get missions so he has had to build up a set of specific skills that are critical to missions that don't require staring down a bunch of barrels, such as recon, assassinations, snatch & grabs, and spying.  If you are looking at a fair fight, don't call Aloysius.  If you need someone who doesn't care about honor and is willing to fight dirty, though, he's your man.

 

 

 

LOVE the backstory! Aloysius is gonna fit well within the confines of my Anthem story :) and I like that he grew up in a Dominion slum! So, are you thinking he's more of a long ranged sniper? And using his blades when enemies get in close? The beautiful thing about Anthem is that you can create so many different loadouts for each javelin, so, making a long ranged assassin isn't out of the question for how your specific Interceptor plays. When you get a chance, check out last weeks live stream. They showcase the Interceptor a lot more :) 

 

 

 

Wolf

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19 hours ago, Wolfpool said:

So, are you thinking he's more of a long ranged sniper? And using his blades when enemies get in close?

 

I was thinking of either sniper or a slash & dash type of hit and run style fighting, whichever fits the mission better.  After watching the live stream, I really like the melee attack that Mike had, so I think it would be cool to have something similar to that.  Also, I think one of his specialties should be anti-sniper, because it looks that that is going to be something that would come in very handy, and fits with his M.O.

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So I just got really confused and thought @Wolfen was you and followed their new thread with a degree of enthusiasm that probably was unwarranted, considering that you are not Wolfen.  :D  Oh well. HI TO BOTH OF YOU

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6 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

So I just got really confused and thought @Wolfen was you and followed their new thread with a degree of enthusiasm that probably was unwarranted, considering that you are not Wolfen.  :D  Oh well. HI TO BOTH OF YOU

 

Hey, some friendships happen accidentally. :tongue: Glad to have you even if it wasn't deliberate. 

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21 hours ago, Wolfen said:

 

Hey, some friendships happen accidentally. :tongue: Glad to have you even if it wasn't deliberate. 

 

*happily and vigorously shaking hands*

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