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CourtnieMarie

CM doesn't Panic!

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On 12/14/2018 at 12:24 PM, Harriet said:


Oh, ten weeks? I've been lifting for 10 months and I've never tried a max anything. I may have to google this. I guess I imagine it wouldn't be much different from my 3 rep maxes, which I do often.

 

KNOW YOUR MAX.

Maximum Effort? GIF - MaximumEffort Effort Deadpool GIFs
 

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12 minutes ago, MikeW said:

If I've literally never done a 1RM, does that make me a fake warrior?

Yes, yes it absolutely does not.

But you've tried for trips and fives, though. You can extrapolate.

(I really just wanted a deadpool reference)

I think it's still pretty good to know your upper limits.

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6 hours ago, MikeW said:

If I've literally never done a 1RM, does that make me a fake warrior?

 

31 minutes ago, scalyfreak said:

 

You and me both!

 

I'm a work in progress.

 

Me too neither ...

 

26 minutes ago, MikeW said:

Aren't we all, friend. Aren't. We. All.

 

Yup.

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this week has been... trying. my dad got med-flighted to a hospital on saturday night. he fell on the stairs and hit his head just the right way that caused swelling and ligament damage in his neck. surgery was successful but he still can not move his arms or legs voluntarily.

 

my challenge changed, obviously, and i decided the top priority for me this week was going to be sleep. i stayed up all night saturday but got a 3 hr nap on sunday while he was in surgery. since then i've been able to schedule sleep around work and hospital visits and am up to a 6h51m avg for the week. 

 

spouse has been a pillar of support while handling all household things. i can barely look at social media right now so i've been burying myself in gummy drop, books, and work. otherwise i'm standing next to my dad reminding him that the pain will subside or feeding him or cleaning up his face. i think this is much harder than when he had a stroke 2 years ago bc he had full faculties then and could still do everything himself, except speak well. and even that came back 90%. he's understandably very depressed right now.

 

i'm drained and i don't know where this road will take us. there's hope that he will be able to move again but no one can say for sure of course. i see much research in my future for his care. i'll admit i'm a little resentful that this all mostly falls to me. maybe because i'm the oldest or because i did it last time. either way, it's not a ball i'm going to drop.

 

hoping to get to the gym tomorrow morning though! then work, then hospital. hope you guys don't mind the wall of feels but that's where i'm at. challenges in the future will probably revolve around dad's care.

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1 minute ago, CourtnieMarie said:

this week has been... trying. my dad got med-flighted to a hospital on saturday night. he fell on the stairs and hit his head just the right way that caused swelling and ligament damage in his neck. surgery was successful but he still can not move his arms or legs voluntarily.

Boo Hug GIF - Boo Hug MonstersInc GIFs

 

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Glad your spouse is there and being most awesome. You don't always need to be strong alone, but its good you can be. Sending all the love and best wishes I can. 

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Sending all the hugs and good wishes your way! So sorry that you’re finding yourself caring for a relative so unexpectedly, but I’m glad you’re able to be there for your dad.

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5 hours ago, CourtnieMarie said:

hope you guys don't mind the wall of feels but that's where i'm at. challenges in the future will probably revolve around dad's care.

 

Of course we don't mind. You do whatever you need to do, however and wherever. We're not going anywhere.

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thanks all <3 in true nerd fashion i made a spreadsheet of visiting times that our family can fill out. also helps to show them all i've been there every day ;) is that spiteful? idk. don't care haha

 

I GOT TO THE GYM THIS MORNING

 

5 mins walk/jog on the treadmill

 

DLs

135x5

155x5

155x5

155x5

and i was toast so i smartly called it quits for those

 

DB press, palms in

40x5x5

 

underhand lat pulldowns

85x10

100x7

95x8

 

felt good. i've also surprisingly been doing really well with keeping restaurant food to a minimum while in boston where the delicious food choices are vast. we got pizza on sunday and had chipotle for dinner on tuesday. otherwise i've been bringing snacks in to eat at the hospital and spouse cooked at the beginning of the week.

 

i skipped the work holiday party last night bc i just can't small talk right now. i went home a bit early and made a pretty bomb fish "chowder" it was really a kitchen sink stew but it was good. cod, bacon, broccoli, carrots, onions, coconut milk, veg broth, and dried dill. just realized i didn't use garlic... hm. it was still great tho!

 

i got in 5 minutes of yoga on like tuesday i think but that's it so far. would probably be good for me to fold that back in soon for even just mental's sake. 

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Hey! Hi! (((Hug!)))

 

Supportive spouse + intentional self-care + nerdy spreadsheet ... sounds like you are handling this unexpected turn of events in true Warrior fashion. Wall of feels and challenges about caregiving are absolutely appropriate; as virtual places go this is a very good place to vent and to process. Love and prayers and hugs!

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I'm very sorry about your father's accident and that you don't feel your siblings (I assume) are going to help you care for him much. That's a significant burden to shoulder alone. It must also be very scary for him not knowing how much he's going to recover. 

Sending lots of valour and strength across the internet. Here is a honey badger for toughness and resilience.

 

giphy.gif?cid=3640f6095c1d12fc6b374a336f

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2 hours ago, CourtnieMarie said:

thanks all <3 in true nerd fashion i made a spreadsheet of visiting times that our family can fill out. also helps to show them all i've been there every day ;) is that spiteful? idk. don't care haha

It's not spiteful at all.

 

Sometimes family doesn't realize how much work you do. When we took care of my ex-mother in law, none of the family helped over the 5 years of daily heavy care. Not even when requested.

 

It's often something we (me included) fall into, expected people to see what we're doing and for them to 'step up' and help out. I still expect people to step up, because I'm often too shy/ashamed to ask for the help I feel I need, then I never get the help I want. 

 

Prayers for you and your family during this holiday season!

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2 hours ago, CourtnieMarie said:

thanks all <3 in true nerd fashion i made a spreadsheet of visiting times that our family can fill out. also helps to show them all i've been there every day ;) is that spiteful? idk. don't care haha

NOT AT ALL. Sometimes people don't even know how much we're doing unless we tell them. This seems like a lowkey way to do that. And it serves a really useful purpose.

 

2 hours ago, CourtnieMarie said:

I GOT TO THE GYM THIS MORNING

\o/

 

2 hours ago, CourtnieMarie said:

i got in 5 minutes of yoga on like tuesday i think but that's it so far. would probably be good for me to fold that back in soon for even just mental's sake. 

Yes. Definitely.

 

I LOVE YOU. I'm so sorry your family is going through this and that so much of it is falling to you. 

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2 hours ago, farflight said:

 

It's often something we (me included) fall into, expected people to see what we're doing and for them to 'step up' and help out. I still expect people to step up, because I'm often too shy/ashamed to ask for the help I feel I need, then I never get the help I want. 

 

So much this! I also expect people to step up more than they do. Everyone’s threshold is different and I know mine is pretty high. Still. I appreciate all you nerds for giving me a safe place to vent. I’m definitely feeling a brick-ton better today. Maybe it was the deadlifts? Maybe because my dad smiled for the first time and is conversing more! Work conversations were easier this morning. I don’t know what’s going to happen or how much my life will change but trying to take it one day at a time. 

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8 hours ago, CourtnieMarie said:

in true nerd fashion i made a spreadsheet of visiting times that our family can fill out. also helps to show them all i've been there every day ;) is that spiteful? idk. don't care haha

 

It also helps show who is never there... which hopefully will act as an indirect eye-opener for the ones who visit every now and then. In the most non-spiteful way possible, of course. :angel:

 

You seem like you're handling the situation very well, as others have said already, but don't let that stop you from noticing when you are tired or need to ask for help. Whether the help is a hug from your spouse, or having your siblings visit your dad so you get a break, or coming here to vent, that doesn't matter. An important part of self-care is to be willing to occasionally let others care for you. 

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Christmas weekend was tiring but good to see a boatload of people. I did yoga on wednesday and thursday so far. just 7 and 10 mins respectively but still better than nothing!

 

this morning i got to the gym again! once a week for the past 2 weeks but again, better than nothing. i ran/walked on the treadmill for 10 mins; 0.82 miles. and then did some squats

 

85x5

95x5

100x5

105x5

 

between the first and second set, as i was changing the weights on one side of the barbell, the kid who cleans the gym walked right up to the other side of the barbell and changed the other side for me. didn't even look at me. he's a bit strange and is there cleaning every morning. i also happen to know that he gets very stoned to do that job. who can blame him??

 

i'm quite excited to have no plans this weekend. will hopefully be catching up on sleep, laundry, puppy time, and seeing my dad. we leave for our honeymoon next thursday so there should be some packing in there as well.

 

the plan.

12/28: weights; hospital; birdbox & yoga?

12/29: gym?; groceries; hospital; packing; laundry

12/30: hospital; in-store returns; meal prep; laundry

 

oh! and i finally watched dumplin' last weekend. so cute and wonderful. the dan band was noteworthy especially since they'll be playing at the san diego house of blues while we're there... we should probably go right?

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On 12/28/2018 at 6:27 AM, CourtnieMarie said:

Christmas weekend was tiring but good to see a boatload of people. I did yoga on wednesday and thursday so far. just 7 and 10 mins respectively but still better than nothing!

 

this morning i got to the gym again! once a week for the past 2 weeks but again, better than nothing. i ran/walked on the treadmill for 10 mins; 0.82 miles. and then did some squats

 


Over Christmas, doing anything is pretty good in my opinion. Family stuff takes up a lot of time. 

Hmm, helping you change weights is nice, and saying nothing and avoiding eye contact is understandable, but the combination of both is weird. 

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alriiiiiiiiiight i guess i can wrap this bad boy up.

 

Challenge goals:

Enjoy the barbell – 3 weights per week; made a modified 5x5 program

Maintain jogging pace – 1 run per week

These fell off after my dad went to the hospital. he’s still there so I’m going to have to figure out the best way to make a schedule.

 

TV off by 8pm 5 nights/week

send out first batch of wedding thank yous

finish thank you cards (18/22)

I actually did pretty well with these. TV was off most weeknights by 8pm and I really prioritized sleep. We sent out all of our thank you cards except 4. Three of those are for our vendors.

 

Rolling goals:

Keep it even more fun – 1 whatever I feel like workout

This was completed once and it was a walk.

track restaurant food – I feel better (and so does my wallet) when I eat out less than 3x per week. I like to plan out weekend food and grocery list before Friday night.

restaurant food looked pretty good: 3, 5, 3, 2, 2

track yoga – I feel better when I get at least 50mins/week; do modified hip bridges and clamshells at least once/week for my bum knee

minutes by week looked like: 47, 50, 64, 15, 17. You can see where it drops off.

 

Not sure where to start with goals next challenge or what my visiting-Dad schedule will look like. i want to set something for myself but not overextend. Might be something to consider once I'm back from honeymoon :) 

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24 minutes ago, CourtnieMarie said:

alriiiiiiiiiight i guess i can wrap this bad boy up.

 

Challenge goals:

Enjoy the barbell – 3 weights per week; made a modified 5x5 program

Maintain jogging pace – 1 run per week

These fell off after my dad went to the hospital. he’s still there so I’m going to have to figure out the best way to make a schedule.

 

TV off by 8pm 5 nights/week

send out first batch of wedding thank yous

finish thank you cards (18/22)

I actually did pretty well with these. TV was off most weeknights by 8pm and I really prioritized sleep. We sent out all of our thank you cards except 4. Three of those are for our vendors.

 

Rolling goals:

Keep it even more fun – 1 whatever I feel like workout

This was completed once and it was a walk.

track restaurant food – I feel better (and so does my wallet) when I eat out less than 3x per week. I like to plan out weekend food and grocery list before Friday night.

restaurant food looked pretty good: 3, 5, 3, 2, 2

track yoga – I feel better when I get at least 50mins/week; do modified hip bridges and clamshells at least once/week for my bum knee

minutes by week looked like: 47, 50, 64, 15, 17. You can see where it drops off.

 

Not sure where to start with goals next challenge or what my visiting-Dad schedule will look like. i want to set something for myself but not overextend. Might be something to consider once I'm back from honeymoon :) 

 

It's totally understandable that the lifting, running and yoga dropped off a bit. I hope you find a way to wrangle them back into your routine without too much stress. Ooh, honeymoon, are you going somewhere nice? Have a lovely time! Is someone else ready to look after your father while you're away?

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1 minute ago, Harriet said:

 

It's totally understandable that the lifting, running and yoga dropped off a bit. I hope you find a way to wrangle them back into your routine without too much stress.

thanks! me too. i'm thinking since i was able to get to the gym once per week these past 2 weeks I can try for twice per week when I'm back home.

 

1 minute ago, Harriet said:

Ooh, honeymoon, are you going somewhere nice? Have a lovely time! Is someone else ready to look after your father while you're away?

i hope it's nice! San Diego, CA. we've never been and are excited to lounge and explore to our heart's content. Everyone knows i'll be away and convinced me they'd handle hospital visits while I'm gone... so yes? do i trust it'll happen? by some of the family at least. there are specific family members i know won't deign to step up. though they tell me often how great i am doing... :rolleyes:

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