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Bean Sidhe

Bean Si Vs Chaos – Just DO SOMETHING

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Fly by update. I just checked and the crappy class posted grades a day earlier than I was expecting.

 

I GOT AN A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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Honestly, I had convinced myself I was getting a B because the final was so hard and I only missed 3 pts (out of 30).
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I mean I really had accepted it would be a B, and it would be my first B at this school... So this is a shock.

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Now back to your regular day. I had to tell someone and my kids are giving me that  "Oh mom" face (See the background scouts)...

 

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So update challenge wise... I have not even looked at my challenge since Friday that I turned in the project. I keep saying I am, but when I get home after being gone 12 hours running from work to hospitals to everywhere else, I just can't. The tree isn't up, the stocks are still in the basement. I have some of the christmas stuff done but not all. I just have nothing else left. I am still pushing, and I have a million things to do, but its not happening. I get up in the morning, and I say "I will do the things", but then I have 12 hours of people and places and hospitals, and it fails. I come home and I just can't think I am so tired and I just kinda stop.

 

So I am calling the challenge atm. My Dad comes home from the hospital today. I am so happy how much progress he has made, but worried since I am afraid he will get home, and they will need more help caring for him than they can do alone. Oh and the "Hey, I need you to go do X" is at least 3 times a day. Hopefully him being home will be easier and the start of a new normal. I am just worried it will be worse.

So challenge wise, I am calling done last week. Next challenge if it keeps up like this WILL HAVE TO have some sort of "recharge" step. Problem is, I don't know what to do or what I have time to do.

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12 hours ago, fleaball said:

Hope you’re doing okay Bean. <3

 

I am here. I have been checking but not logging in or posting. I have nothing to really say.

Dad is home, and that is good, but things are harder almost. I never know if and when I need to go over there and help. There is still some massive denial about things and what is happening and its not helping.   My attempts to plan are still being met with "We will figure it out later" It is frustrating, especially when I am trying to recoop even a bit to get ready to restart in a few days when the Agents return to school and then I my classes restart.

Challenge wise, I totally gave up for a few days. I couldn't make myself care. That being said, I weighed in this week and gained 5 lbs. Now I think most is water weight since that whole girl time is about to start and I have been eating a ton of chex snack that is full of salt. I know it should motivate me, but really, I just kinda went "Figures".

I did however start a "Mini" challenge of sorts. Basically I reset my boxes to do something. I started yesterday and that helped some. But I was more mad at myself that I could have nad should have done more but didn't.  I am in this weird headspace of " I need to do stuff now since I can, but I can't make myself care so I don't."  And there is other stuff going on, stuff that isn't helping any of this, but nothing I can do about it. So I am just going to try and wait it all out. But right now, I could really use a couple days off. But since The agents, Hubby and I on the only ones who is willing to do anything.. that isn't happening.

 

So for now, I in this weird state. I am okay, and I am finally sleeping some. But I have so much I should be doing. Its a weird place to be stuck.

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Oof, I can relate and it's definitely a shitty place to be. :( 

 

I know your relationship with your family is tricky, but is it possible to tell your parents "look, I can only come around at certain times because I still have other things to do/the kids have things/(whatever reason makes the most sense) so I would strongly prefer that we get things done ahead of time rather than waiting until the last minute." Maybe less assertive than that, but however you can get that point across to them. Also, does his insurance cover a carer or visiting nurse or someone who can come in once a week or something to help them get their shit together?

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2 hours ago, fleaball said:

Oof, I can relate and it's definitely a shitty place to be. :( 

 It is, but its where I am. As I said to someone else the other day "someone has to get this stuff done., and if no one else is going to deal with it, then I will. "

 

2 hours ago, fleaball said:

I know your relationship with your family is tricky, but is it possible to tell your parents "look, I can only come around at certain times because I still have other things to do/the kids have things/(whatever reason makes the most sense) so I would strongly prefer that we get things done ahead of time rather than waiting until the last minute." Maybe less assertive than that, but however you can get that point across to them. Also, does his insurance cover a carer or visiting nurse or someone who can come in once a week or something to help them get their shit together?

 

Ideally, yes, I could tell them that. However, we seem to be in this new "passively helpless thing" (just figured that out). I sit home waiting for a call, no one calls, but if I drop by, thye have a a list for me. And I got a schedule for tomorrow, so we will see how that goes.  Right now, I just wish people would stop doing the "Oh I will figure it out later".

No, I don't think insurance will cover anything like that. Right now, they are fighting to get him a walker. hes been borrowing the one from the rehab place, but the insurance denied him his own. Oh, and I have heard from them both for the last 2 days how they are "going to do this thing" and haven't. I am about ready to do it. And the insurance changes at the first of the year, so who knows what that means.  I may PM you, there is more going on here. Supposedly my mom goes back to work next week so we will see what that means since I don't go back until the week after. But anytime I ask about something more than about 2 hours out, I get a "we will figure that out later" but I am also told "You have your own life to live with the Agents."

 

 

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23 minutes ago, Bean Sidhe said:

Ideally, yes, I could tell them that. However, we seem to be in this new "passively helpless thing" (just figured that out). I sit home waiting for a call, no one calls, but if I drop by, thye have a a list for me. And I got a schedule for tomorrow, so we will see how that goes.  Right now, I just wish people would stop doing the "Oh I will figure it out later".

No, I don't think insurance will cover anything like that. Right now, they are fighting to get him a walker. hes been borrowing the one from the rehab place, but the insurance denied him his own. Oh, and I have heard from them both for the last 2 days how they are "going to do this thing" and haven't. I am about ready to do it. And the insurance changes at the first of the year, so who knows what that means.  I may PM you, there is more going on here. Supposedly my mom goes back to work next week so we will see what that means since I don't go back until the week after. But anytime I ask about something more than about 2 hours out, I get a "we will figure that out later" but I am also told "You have your own life to live with the Agents."

UGGGGGH the helpless thing is so annoying. My family does that even under the best circumstances. I wish I could come over and beat some sense into your family. I know part of it is denial/not wanting to accept that things have changed and will be harder for a bit, but not accepting it doesn't mean it won't happen anyway. Rawr. I also got the "you have your own life" thing, which I appreciated most of the time but then they'd call me anyway and be like "help with this thing immediately pls?" 

 

Boo, insurance. Idk what they'd cost/where you'd get them where you are, but I got a walker on Amazon a few years ago for like $30.

 

Feel free to PM me! I'm home all night tonight and I"ll be attempting to drive this weekend but it's super slow since people are on vacation so I'll have plenty of downtime. :)

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Yeah, the last few weeks were pretty much a no go challenge wise for me. Hopefully, things get figure out with your folks. New year coming up, and hopefully, a much better year for everyone. 

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Ideally, yes, I could tell them that. However, we seem to be in this new "passively helpless thing" (just figured that out). I sit home waiting for a call, no one calls, but if I drop by, thye have a a list for me. And I got a schedule for tomorrow, so we will see how that goes.  Right now, I just wish people would stop doing the "Oh I will figure it out later".

No, I don't think insurance will cover anything like that. Right now, they are fighting to get him a walker. hes been borrowing the one from the rehab place, but the insurance denied him his own. Oh, and I have heard from them both for the last 2 days how they are "going to do this thing" and haven't. I am about ready to do it. And the insurance changes at the first of the year, so who knows what that means.  I may PM you, there is more going on here. Supposedly my mom goes back to work next week so we will see what that means since I don't go back until the week after. But anytime I ask about something more than about 2 hours out, I get a "we will figure that out later" but I am also told "You have your own life to live with the Agents."
 
 

I read this and it reminds me of my mom and aunt looking after my grandparents. You are a really good person, but you need loelook after yourself too.
My grandad (who died yesterday at 98) cried until the last moment that he should be not helped.

Sent from my FIG-LX1 using Tapatalk

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On 12/28/2018 at 6:32 PM, fleaball said:

UGGGGGH the helpless thing is so annoying. My family does that even under the best circumstances. I wish I could come over and beat some sense into your family. I know part of it is denial/not wanting to accept that things have changed and will be harder for a bit, but not accepting it doesn't mean it won't happen anyway. Rawr. I also got the "you have your own life" thing, which I appreciated most of the time but then they'd call me anyway and be like "help with this thing immediately pls?" 

 

That is pretty much how everything is, "You have a life of your own..... Can you do this other thing right now?" I almost wish I could just take stuff over and then it would be done already instead of me sitting here going "I got stuff to do, can we plan this?" Instead of "Or not"

 

On 12/28/2018 at 6:32 PM, fleaball said:

Boo, insurance. Idk what they'd cost/where you'd get them where you are, but I got a walker on Amazon a few years ago for like $30.

 

The big thing is, they don't want to own it forever. They want to be able to return it. Insurance finally approved it, but it won't be here until Friday, which is annoying since he came  home 2 weeks ago.  And it goes back to the whole "denial of it" thing

 

On 12/28/2018 at 6:32 PM, fleaball said:

Feel free to PM me! I'm home all night tonight and I"ll be attempting to drive this weekend but it's super slow since people are on vacation so I'll have plenty of downtime. :)

I have started to PM you like 3 times, then I get all "shes busy" and I don't. Its me being dumb. But maybe. I know  you would understand some of this insanity.

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On 12/28/2018 at 6:32 PM, Tateman said:

Yeah, the last few weeks were pretty much a no go challenge wise for me. Hopefully, things get figure out with your folks. New year coming up, and hopefully, a much better year for everyone. 

 

I saw your new challenge is up. I need to get over there and get on top of things. I need to get my challenge up, but we will see. Hopefully things are going smoother for you now.

 

On 12/29/2018 at 1:09 PM, Diadhuit said:

I read this and it reminds me of my mom and aunt looking after my grandparents. You are a really good person, but you need loelook after yourself too.
My grandad (who died yesterday at 98) cried until the last moment that he should be not helped.
 

I am sorry to hear about your grandad. I hope you are doing okay and *hugs* for you. I am doing what I can, its just hard to plan more than a few hours in advance when no one will tell you whats going on. Ugh...

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2 minutes ago, Bean Sidhe said:

I have started to PM you like 3 times, then I get all "shes busy" and I don't. Its me being dumb. But maybe. I know  you would understand some of this insanity.

The only time I’m ever busy is when I’m driving, which isn’t as often as it should be and I take a lot of breaks. So don’t worry about it. But also no pressure. 

 

For the record, tonight my only plans are to binge Lucifer on Netflix and maybe convince myself to do some yoga. 

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On 1/2/2019 at 3:08 PM, fleaball said:

The only time I’m ever busy is when I’m driving, which isn’t as often as it should be and I take a lot of breaks. So don’t worry about it. But also no pressure. 

 

For the record, tonight my only plans are to binge Lucifer on Netflix and maybe convince myself to do some yoga. 

Good to know. Thanks for being willing to hear the story.

You are a good person Flea.

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