Emerald Eagle is down but not out

[Emerald Eagle]

I am in a very deep hole right now, or at least that's how it feels. I don't know what happened in the last few months but I slipped further and further down the slippery slope and ended even further behind than my previous "starting point". Tonight I hit a new low in a fight with hubby and he (rightly) called me out on things I promised about getting healthy that I haven't delivered on. Harsh, but the sting came from the truth in his words (we're OK now, just stress boiling over and it was time to have a big discussion and let it all out). 

 

I am using this spurt of motivation that came from that frank conversation to try and kick start a few things. Who knows, maybe I can get some new habits developed before that tricky motivation runs away again? 

 

Last time I stopped using the forums and doing the challenges because it became too hard to keep up, so I am not really putting any structure to this now. All I want to do is be honest about what I am doing. That means talking a lot about what I am eating, if I am skipping the gym (bad EE, your Crossfit membership is expensive and you love it when you go), and if I am taking my dog for walks (you really should be doing this EE, it's not the dogs fault you don't feel like it). 

 

So that's me. Your support through this next 4 weeks (and beyond that too) is extremely appreciated.

[Elastigirl]

I think we have all felt that way at times. We are here for you. You already have lots of good habits established, and they  really are easier  to get back into , even if you haven't done them for a while. You got this!

[Cheetah]

Welcome back!  You've done a great job showing up and being honest about where you are.  We will absolutely be here to help you start working toward your goals again.  You can do it!!

[Yasha92]

Post of solidarity!

You were there for me when I was in my hole, now I’ll be here for you in yours (diiiiirty!)

Puppy loves you and loves walks! Some of that unconditional love might really help right now. Plz we can has pics of puppy?

I’m trialling a ‘traffic light’ system with my staff (red, yellow, green) for my daily desk drivebys. Sounds like you’re in the red, is there anything I can do to help you towards yellow?


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[Endor]

I'm here for the Willow on her walk pics...minimum 1 per week pls  

[Emerald Eagle]

17 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

I think we have all felt that way at times. We are here for you. You already have lots of good habits established, and they  really are easier  to get back into , even if you haven't done them for a while. You got this!

Thanks Elastigirl, I really hope it's not too hard to get back on the wagon.

 

15 hours ago, Cheetah said:

Welcome back!  You've done a great job showing up and being honest about where you are.  We will absolutely be here to help you start working toward your goals again.  You can do it!!

Thanks Cheetah  and congrats on the Ambassadorship, well deserved!

 

13 hours ago, Yasha92 said:

Post of solidarity!

You were there for me when I was in my hole, now I’ll be here for you in yours (diiiiirty!)

Puppy loves you and loves walks! Some of that unconditional love might really help right now. Plz we can has pics of puppy?

I’m trialling a ‘traffic light’ system with my staff (red, yellow, green) for my daily desk drivebys. Sounds like you’re in the red, is there anything I can do to help you towards yellow?


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Thanks Yasha. I'll post some pics from my phone tomorrow, promise. Now that I have survived the work week I am going to try and do some things this weekend to move out of the red. I have some time tomorrow morning with my Grandma and then a list of to do list things that as I tick off hopefully some of the stress will ease.

 

Despite today's good intentions I didn't make as much headway as I was hoping. I woke up on time after actually setting my alarm (win) and found it was POURING rain outside. I left the pre-organised pile of clothes on the dresser and went back to bed, it was way too wet to walk Willow. (Why Melbourne? We're 2 weeks away from summer!)

At work I had a regular day, I ate my pre-packed lunch (win) though the chicken stir fry did not taste as good as it did last night. Still better than some of the things I have been eating. I did have a can of Pepsi Max and a fundraising chocolate as a 3pm pick-me-up.

Tonight for dinner hubby and I made homemade pizza. It was pretty good, much better than the store bought stuff, and we loaded it up with bacon, salami, mushrooms, capsicum, olives, and sundried tomatoes. And cheese, lots of cheese. 

 

I know I won't make it to the gym tomorrow but I will see my Grandma, walk Willow, and vote. I also have to bake a dessert to take to the event we're attending tomorrow night. I am thinking about making something I don't like so I won't eat it. I'll keep you posted on that front. Sunday I will try to meal prep or at least meal plan for the week, and get back to the gym.

[Cheetah]

Sounds like a pretty good day.  Looking forward to doggy pics.  :-)

[Elastigirl]

Sounds like a winning day with all that home made food. And tomorrow should be better weather right? (unlike here where we are heading into winter which means lots of rain)

[Emerald Eagle]

Willow photo as requested. We've spent most of the weekend curled up together on the coach.

Bonus photo of Stuie the labrador with Santa at our CFA volunteer firefighter brigade dinner on Saturday night.

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[Cheetah]

Hello floofs! Now we need a pic of you and floof walking around outdoors.  ;-)

[Emerald Eagle]

Like these ones?  @Cheetah

 

 

The weather was finally good enough to get out and walk this morning. I woke up before my alarm  and Willow and I went for a 30 minute work as the first thing I did this morning. Then I ate a delicious breakfast of avocado toast with scrambled eggs and cherry tomatoes. Amazing start to the day!

 

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[Fonzico]

EE! I've missed you! I'm glad you're back - we've all been on and off the damnable wagon enough times to empathise. You can do this!

 

Also, puppy paws are the cutest thing ever especially when they're ALL TOGETHER. Gah. Freaking adorable. 

[Yasha92]

Lookit the cutie! Puppy too!

Avo toast sounds lovely. I hope you have an excellent, green day.


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[Emerald Eagle]

What a great day to start a challenge!

✓ Walk Willow
✓ Homemade Breakfast
✓ Homemade Lunch
✓ Crossfit
✓ Homemade Dinner

Now the challenge is backing it up tomorrow! Lets build some momentum!!

 

Photos of food and gym spoilered because of the size. 

 

Spoiler

 

 

[Emerald Eagle]

7 hours ago, Fonzico said:

EE! I've missed you! I'm glad you're back - we've all been on and off the damnable wagon enough times to empathise. You can do this!

 

Also, puppy paws are the cutest thing ever especially when they're ALL TOGETHER. Gah. Freaking adorable. 

 

Fonz! It's good to see you too  How's your puppy doing? I am already feeling better having other people (virtual though you may be) who get how I'm feeling and how hard it can be! 

 

4 hours ago, Yasha92 said:

Lookit the cutie! Puppy too!

Avo toast sounds lovely. I hope you have an excellent, green day.


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Hehe thanks Yasha. I think I did it! I would consider today green  

[EmCee]

Hi! I know we don’t know each other yet but we are very much in the same place! I’m so glad you’ve taken the step to get back on the boards and that you recognize the power in just having a place to help you be honest about what you’re up to. You don’t need the structure right now - you just need to show up for yourself, your marriage, and your puppies! 

[jonfirestar]

It is good to see you back Following. 

[Cheetah]

Yes, exactly like that.  :-)  Great first day!  Keep it up!

[Emerald Eagle]

22 hours ago, EmCee said:

Hi! I know we don’t know each other yet but we are very much in the same place! I’m so glad you’ve taken the step to get back on the boards and that you recognize the power in just having a place to help you be honest about what you’re up to. You don’t need the structure right now - you just need to show up for yourself, your marriage, and your puppies! 

Thanks EmCee, nice to meet you  

 

22 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

It is good to see you back Following. 

It feels good to be back

 

20 hours ago, Cheetah said:

Yes, exactly like that.  :-)  Great first day!  Keep it up!

 

Using Yasha's scale today was 'Yellow' (Amber?). I slept in so I didn't have time I chose not to walk Willow. I also didn't have time for chose not to prioritise eating fancy breakfast and had peanut butter toast that I ate in the car on the way to work. I had some errands to run during my lunch break so had planned to eat out, but probably didn't make the best choices. There was salad items but there was also a large side of chips (fries for you Yanks) and a bottle of Pepsi Max. I also didn't have a mid-afternoon chocolate bar (that has crept back into my work routine) - mainly because I was too busy but it's still a win!

 

I did make it to Crossfit (two nights in a row!!) and sweated through a nice workout. I actually hit a pretty big milestone. For those of you who weren't around or don't remember, earlier this year I dislocated my kneecap at Crossfit (in the warm up...old netball injury...NOT because Crossfit is unsafe and everyone gets injured) and have been rehabbing it ever since. This has meant I've been modifying a lot of workouts and slowly building up the strength in my leg muscles without doing any dynamic movements that would put extra pressure on the joint (no jumping of any kind - skipping/double unders, box jumps, jumping pull ups etc., as well modified olympic lifting (hang and muscle movements instead of full power and squat cleans and snatches and assault bike or rowing instead of running). Today was the first time I "ran" (it was more like gingerly jogging) in a workout since i hurt my knee. I scaled right back to just a 100m jog per round - it felt super weird to be running (I've totally forgotten how my foot is meant to strike the ground, it felt so weird) but I am glad I did it. Honestly it was a huge mental hurdle. Coming back from this kind of injury I have had to trust my body a lot and I often find myself being so tentative because I am worried my knee is going to collapse on me again. This is one small step along a long road of recovery. Yay me!

 

After gym, we had our "Christmas break up" (in November ) for our church small group tonight and our group leader organised pizzas for dinner. I ate a couple of slices, nothing crazy, and said no to dessert mainly because what was on offer didn't appeal. 

 

All in all a better day than a lot of the ones I've been having recently. 

[jonfirestar]

7 minutes ago, Emerald Eagle said:

I ate a couple of slices, nothing crazy, and said no to dessert mainly because what was on offer didn't appeal. 

 

When you are able to do this kind of thing I count that as a big win! 

 

Happy to hear that your knee cap is on the mend! 

[Cheetah]

Good job getting the workout done, and yay running!  I can definitely sympathies with hurty knees.  I hope it stays good!

[Yasha92]

Yay Crossfit! Yay happy knee!

Yellow/amber often means ‘use caution’ and it seems like you’re doing exactly that, well done!

I’m sure Williow will be extra happy to have a walk tomorrow


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[Emerald Eagle]

We're not very good at taking selfies, but we did go for a walk this morning!

 

 

I had more toast for breakfast, no eggs though. I ate more leftovers for lunch, though I wan't very hungry at the time and didn't finish the meal. That was a mistake because I then succumbed to not one but two 3pm chocolates. 

I was feeling crappy when I got to the gym after work (apologies for the TMI but it's shark week and it felt like my insides were falling out!). I nearly got back in my car and drove home without completing the workout. Instead I stayed and just decided to take it a bit slower/lighter than usual. I soon forgot how I was feeling and by the end of the workout felt a lot better. My right hip is not feeling amazing today after the jogging yesterday, I'll have to be conscious of that as I keep rehabbing.

We cooked dinner at home and finished up the night watching DVDs with hubby.

 

 

[Emerald Eagle]

23 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

When you are able to do this kind of thing I count that as a big win! 

 

Happy to hear that your knee cap is on the mend! 

Thanks Jon. It's getting there very slowly, more slowly than I would have liked.

 

23 hours ago, Cheetah said:

Good job getting the workout done, and yay running!  I can definitely sympathies with hurty knees.  I hope it stays good!

My hurty knee is definitely frustrating! My knee actually pulled up OK but my opposite hip not so much. Obviously the compensating and my wonky stride affected it.

 

13 hours ago, Yasha92 said:

Yay Crossfit! Yay happy knee!

Yellow/amber often means ‘use caution’ and it seems like you’re doing exactly that, well done!

I’m sure Williow will be extra happy to have a walk tomorrow
 

Willow was so excited for her walk this morning! She ran right out of the laundry and straight to the front door where her lead was hanging. 

[jonfirestar]

3 minutes ago, Emerald Eagle said:

Thanks Jon. It's getting there very slowly, more slowly than I would have liked.

 

That's too often true of injuries. Hang in there. you'll get through.