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obax

obax ~ the long road

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20 minutes ago, obax said:

So far it's been going well, and it gets better each time I learn something new to threaten them with (I take after my mom in that I'm not afraid to lay down the law when necessary, I just need to know what laws to lay down...)

One of the reasons I find being a parent easier than dealing with other people's kids is I got to make the laws, and I got to lay them down. When helping out at church or school it was always  ' No, we can't tell them no, we can't enforce that  rule etc" With my son, I could just say if you do that you won't get computer for a week, and that pretty much made him listen.:friendly_wink:

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2 minutes ago, ShadowLion said:

Sounds like it was difficult to get momentum at the beginning of the week, but you broke through and are on a roll. Good for you! 

 

That is 100% accurate. The problem is, this is, if not exactly a pattern, at least a common occurrence. Once in a while is fine, life happens, but if it happens too often it'll impact my goals, and that's not good. I'm getting better at it being a 'once in a while' thing and less of a 'common occurrence' thing, but when it happens I'm maybe a bit hyper aware, since I don't want to fall back into bad habits.

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On 12/5/2018 at 2:46 AM, obax said:

Volunteering day, which means I don't work at my job but I do get up early and heard some cats (aka. helping in a grade 1/2 classroom, then in a 3/4 classroom. I'm intimidated by children, which is why I'm doing this, and while it's enjoyable, holy by golly are kids exhausting...).

 

Yeah, I can see how that would be exhausting! Props to you though, children intimidate me also (terrify me, actually...) and I most definitely would not consider diving into working with them to fix it! 

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13 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

 

Yeah, I can see how that would be exhausting! Props to you though, children intimidate me also (terrify me, actually...) and I most definitely would not consider diving into working with them to fix it! 

 

It's actually not that bad, I'm mostly working with only one or two at a time, so it's not like I'm in charge of herding an entire classroom full of cats. I think the one teacher uses me a as a bit of a reward, my novelty has not worn off yet, it seems, and the kids are super excited to do stuff with me, even just a spelling test. Mostly I just treat them like people, since that's what they are, which might seem silly to say because of course they're people, but a lot of adults don't take kids seriously, so if you do that, you're pretty much golden.

 

I've also discovered that I sometimes like doing things that scare me. There's a guy I read about who was in the U.S. Marines, and he specialized in combat diving, and someone once asked him why he chose that specialty. He basically said he chose it because he's afraid of water (it was a little more poetic and profound than that, but that's the jist). That's always stuck with me, and it's become something I try to aspire to (not always successfully, but I try).

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Week 2, Day 6

 

Worked today, and holy it was busy. Got my steps in just by doing that. Went for my run after, just a short one before the xmas party. It felt pretty crappy, I was hungry and tired and my feet were achy from working, but my time was ok (faster than last time by about 30-40s, but I didn't have to wait at the lights at all this time).

 

I'm off tomorrow, so I have an extra hour before bedtime. The xmas party food was good, but in smaller portions than I'm used to, so I'm properly hungry again. I think I'll have a snack and do some planks and my physio then shoot for a midnight or so bedtime (I might stay up to finish watching the late hockey game, my 1st backup team is playing and it's shaping up to be a good game).

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Week 2, Day 7

 

Today's run didn't happen, I woke up feeling a bit off, kinda headachy and tired. This led to me taking way more time than it should have to get my arse in gear (I do enjoy a good laze-in on the couch and haven't really had one for a while, and Sundays are my favourite day for CBC radio, so maybe that contributed too). I probably could have squeezed one in if I really tried, but I didn't really try, so....

 

Got my cooking mostly done, I just have chicken thighs to bake tomorrow, they have to marinate. I made shepherd's pie, and it turned out amazing (probably because there's butter AND cream in the potatoes).

 

I did not make my ETP numbers, I was well under, I just wasn't very hungry today. Did my physio and stretching already. Completely forgot about pushups until just this second when I had a look back at my original post to remind myself of my goals... I should make my bedtime, and will fill out my fitness log directly after posting this.

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Ya know, over the course of catching up, I see you doing more things than not doing them.   Sure it's not perfect, but there's progress!  And where progress is not as great, there's awareness of the hiccups to it.  So it's all good stuff.     You knowing that pushing the runs off to the weekend make it a usual miss is a key point.  I had to do that yesterday... if I didn't lift, I KNEW I'd probably NOT get a lift in on the weekend, so it was like 'give in to the momentary meh' or push through it and get my 2 lift days in like I've wanted.     I think even when I bitch most about it these days, that 9/10x I still go out and do the thing I'm trying to talk myself out of.    I know you'll get there too.  Because you're kind of a major badass and you rock.

 

Volunteering with kids because they freak you out?

Um.   That thing I just said about badass?  TIMES 100!!!  Holy smokes girl, I need to take lessons from you.   Fear (of basically everything) is my single biggest hurdle in all aspects of my life.   So that is freaking amazing.

 

Well done Obax!  Well done!

therockclapgif.gif

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Week 3, All of It

 

Not great at all. I went to the gym Monday and Friday, played a half-assed hockey game on Thursday, and ran today, and that was it. I maybe did physio a couple times, and maybe made my bedtime-ish a couple of times, but I obviously didn't pay attention... It was a week where my brain decided I didn't need any sleep, so I was exceptionally tired, which led to my mood being pretty low, and my motivation going right out the window. I got some semi-decent sleep last night, and am feeling much better today, though my legs are surprisingly sore after my run...

 

Tomorrow I'm off work, so I'm going to do some cooking, and I have plans to geocache with my sister in the afternoon. I'll probably call that good for activity, and go for a bit of a restart come Monday.

 

Also, I've come to the conclusion that 11pm is just too late for me to go to bed, so I'm going to start working on making my bedtime earlier. I know from past experience that just going cold turkey and moving my bedtime to 10pm will just make me frustrated, so I'm going to move it back by 15 minutes each week until I get to 10pm. This is going to be a HUGE challenge for me, but starting Monday, my bedtime will be 10:45. I think I'll leave it at midnight for non-work nights, but right now that's only 1 night per week, since I consider my volunteering day as a sort of work day.

 

Plan for Next Week

 

Monday - gym

Tuesday - rest

Wednesday - run

Thursday - gym or rest

Friday - gym

Saturday - run

Sunday - run

 

Hockey is over now, so instead of 2x run + hockey, I now need to run 3x/week. I'm continuing to prioritize running over the gym, and will be satisfied if I go to the gym 2x/week, but 3 would be better.

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On 12/12/2018 at 9:50 AM, Starpuck said:

Volunteering with kids because they freak you out?

Um.   That thing I just said about badass?  TIMES 100!!!  Holy smokes girl, I need to take lessons from you.   Fear (of basically everything) is my single biggest hurdle in all aspects of my life.   So that is freaking amazing.

 

 

 

Like I said to yeti, I kinda like doing things that scare me. This whole journey of trying to become a police office has been nothing but doing things that scare me, so I'm getting used to to it, I guess. And what I said about the Marine, what he actually said he was afraid of was the abyss (meaning the endless darkness of deep water), but I read it as more metaphoric (and maybe he meant it that way too, I don't know). Since reading that, it's always in the back of my mind, to try to embrace the abyss rather than running away from it, because that's where you find great things. Children, in the whole big scheme of things, are a pretty small and shallow abyss, they're small enough that they can't really hurt me and as long as I keep my trucker mouth in check it's all good.

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Week 4, Day 1

 

Crossfit. We're retesting out maxes this week, which I'm glad of, I was hoping to be able to retest before I had to find a new gym on my own. PR'd my back squat 1RM by 20lb (from 140lb to 160lb). I'm certain it has something to do with me getting decent sleep 3 nights in a row...

 

Volunteering got cancelled for tomorrow, so I have a proper day off. I have a couple appointments in the afternoon, but I might try to get a run in before then (I wouldn't have had time if I'd had to volunteer). I'm prioritizing sleep and cooking over running, though, but if I can manage to fit one in it'll mean I can get to the gym on Wednesday to test my 1RM for bench press. I don't care as much about this lift, and this was the one that got skipped if I couldn't make it to the gym all 3 days in a week, so I'm not expecting great things, but I'd still like to do it if I can.

 

Gonna do my physio after posting this, and I should make my bedtime. I didn't get my pushups in, and I'm not sure I want to do them this late at night. This goal is not going well at all, I'll have to come up with a better idea for this. It might go a bit better once I figure out my new lifting program, it'll be easy enough to put in pushups and planks as accessories so I'll just do them at the gym as a matter of course, but until then I dunno...

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The juggle is a serious thing, so good luck keeping it all going.   It's good that you're figuring out what needs priority for the moment, and being flexible in that shifting around is awesome too.

 

For me, since I knew pull ups are my thing I wanna rock, I just replaced a lot of stuff in other workouts, with them instead.   OHP?  Nah, pull ups.    I'll still sometimes give the pull ups a break and do Bent Rows, or Inverted Ring Rows because I feel like the reaffirm good form and muscle activation - but I definitely think you'll find some help with that goal if you can get them into a workout routine.

 

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Quote

 

 Mostly I just treat them like people, since that's what they are, which might seem silly to say because of course they're people, but a lot of adults don't take kids seriously, so if you do that, you're pretty much golden.

 

I've also discovered that I sometimes like doing things that scare me. There's a guy I read about who was in the U.S. Marines, and he specialized in combat diving, and someone once asked him why he chose that specialty. He basically said he chose it because he's afraid of water (it was a little more poetic and profound than that, but that's the jist). That's always stuck with me, and it's become something I try to aspire to (not always successfully, but I try).

 

Great observation and attitude on working with kids. They know and respond to those who take them seriously. 

 

You've also got a refreshing approach to expanding your comfort zone. Facing what scares you is a big part of being someone who really lives. Bravo!

 

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How's the holidays treating ya Obax?     Crazy on my end, so since we're always very twinsy-ish, I bet you are feeling the same!

 

Don't forget to come back and hang with your NF peeps as things settle down.   It isn't the same without you!

 

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Obviously I fell of the wagon a little bit... A combination of stoopid busy work days and not great sleep (sometimes my own fault, sometimes my brain's fault) and ugly grey days led to a complete lack of motivation (to run, I made it to the gym plenty). But I'll be back for the next one, with mostly the same stuff but some different details.

 

One piece of good news is, the owner of my gym spoke to me on what I figured would be my last time there (since he was mostly closing over the holidays, and the open gym hours were all when I was working), and said he can tell I wanted to be there and he would work it out with me so I could continue, which was a nice early christmas present for me, and also extremely appreciated. We have not yet discussed what 'work it out' will look like, and I have next to no extra money (though I'm supposedly getting a raise sometime soon, which I will believe when I see), so it's not set in stone, but at least there's a possibility. I think for this week I'll continue with just running and try and find some time to discuss with the owner, I'm not the type to take part in a service without knowing what the terms of that service will be.

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