TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted November 26, 2018 Report Share Posted November 26, 2018 cornerstone (noun) cor·ner·stone | \ˈkȯr-nər-ˌstōn \ 1 : a stone forming a part of a corner or angle in a wall 2 : a basic element : FOUNDATION This challenge is basically me setting up a cornerstone and foundation for my personal growth. I've been floundering around in life and trying so hard to manhandle my way to being a functional human being. But NO. LONGER. Starting now I'm going to be a functional human being beyond what I've ever been before. So for starters, goal and priority number one: Get a heckin therapy appointment I'm calling a therapy place tomorrow to make an appointment. And if that doesn't work out, I'll find a second option because I WILL get an appointment scheduled. I will. It's going to happen. Now, beyond that, I've got a few little habits I'd like to start building to really get myself back into a good mental (and physical) space** Take those gosh darn probiotics I bought gummy probiotics to start taking in the mornings to see if I can keep my body straightened out. I need to take care of the body I live in. Remember all the things I have to be thankful AF for I've got so many blessings. I'm going to keep my thankfulness journal during this challenge to help get a better mindset about life in general. There are a lot of crappy things that happen but not everything is. This challenge is ending on what will be my Christmas with my husband (two days early). Read to feed your grumpy little soul for 10 mins before bed Carve out time to read every day before bed. Even if it's just 10 minutes, it'll give me an opportunity to actually read regularly. This goal is working towards my Intuitive Eating. **Subject to change based on results of therapy appointment 5 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Pt. II: Habit Swapping Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55 Link to comment
Terah Posted November 26, 2018 Report Share Posted November 26, 2018 Following! 1 Quote Doodlie for life, Pancake by choice Current Challenge Spoiler Challenge 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 Challenges 2017: 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28 Challenges 2018: 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, Challenges 2019: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 Challenges 2020: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45 Challenges 2023: 46 Link to comment
TimovieMan Posted November 26, 2018 Report Share Posted November 26, 2018 Following as well! 1 Quote Active challenges: Balancing sleep and gaming | Walk to Mordor - (spreadsheet) | DailyDare 2023 threads: Challenge VIII | IX 2018-19 & 2021 threads: Battle log | Challenge I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted November 26, 2018 Report Share Posted November 26, 2018 Following also as well! 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
shaar Posted November 26, 2018 Report Share Posted November 26, 2018 Yayayay so glad to see you here! Definitely stay vigilant on getting an appointment, sometimes it can be a struggle just to find someone accepting new clients (esp. around the holidays), but YOU CAN DO IT and it's gonna be so good for you!! <3 1 Quote i am not waiting for a hero. i saved myself long ago. Level 56 Bardic Time-Mage; of the Furious Heart STR.55 DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65 "Well...in the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... ...But that's the way things are. The choice is yours." Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted November 26, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 26, 2018 11 hours ago, Terah said: Following! 9 hours ago, TimovieMan said: Following as well! 5 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said: Following also as well! Nice to see everyone!! 1 hour ago, shaar said: Yayayay so glad to see you here! Definitely stay vigilant on getting an appointment, sometimes it can be a struggle just to find someone accepting new clients (esp. around the holidays), but YOU CAN DO IT and it's gonna be so good for you!! <3 Thanks I actually was supposed to get a referral to the one my PCP has in their offices, but I never got one. I called them and they're handling it in house (and will hopefully be calling me back sometime within the next 24 hours. I'm waiting to hear back from them now. I'm proud of myself for not giving up when the therapist I wanted to go to didn't work out for financial reasons. I think this is going to make a huge difference. I want to eventually go full time with my work from home job, but I don't have the emotional capacity to give my boss his money's worth with full time. I love my job and want to be able to actually do it!! 3 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Pt. II: Habit Swapping Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55 Link to comment
starpuck Posted November 27, 2018 Report Share Posted November 27, 2018 Following chica! Good approach. Focused and prioritized. You got this. 1 Quote Level 81 ~*~ Ranger Deviant Art Gallery || YouTube Channel Current Challenge "It is difficult. All things worth keeping are." Thane Krios - Mass Effect 2 "Maybe it's not as simple as you imagined, Seeker." Varric Tethras Dragon Age 2 "Staying within your limits is no fun, Ryder." Vetra Nyx - ME: Andromeda Spoiler ::PAST CHALLENGES:: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 43 | 44 | NEIN | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48| 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 77.5 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | 91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted November 27, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 27, 2018 4 minutes ago, Starpuck said: Following chica! Good approach. Focused and prioritized. You got this. Thanks! I realized that I needed to have more tangible goals, but since my focus is mental health and Intuitive eating I need to build my habits and goals towards that. And I need to not overwhelm myself xD Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Pt. II: Habit Swapping Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55 Link to comment
Rurik Harrgath Posted November 27, 2018 Report Share Posted November 27, 2018 3 Quote [Level ??] Rurik, Templar-Marshal Class: Paladin of the Order of the Sacred Flame (Conquest Paladin/Champion) BRUTALITY 11 | FINESSE 10 | VIGOR 11 | INSIGHT 14 | WILL 13 Equipment: Leather armor, questing longsword, and adventurer's pack with alchemist's kit. "Rangers have to at least give up on pants. It's a special rule we enacted after Rurik became a Guild Leader.” – DarK_RaideR "Did I just get my ass kicked by a member of Metallica meets History Channel's Vikings?" - Wild Wolf "By the Well-Oiled-and-Meticulously-Groomed Beard of Rurik!" - Tanktimus the Encourager Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted November 28, 2018 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2018 20 hours ago, Rurik Harrgath said: Bless 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Pt. II: Habit Swapping Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55 Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted December 2, 2018 Report Share Posted December 2, 2018 How did week 1 turn out? 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted December 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 On 12/1/2018 at 9:06 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said: How did week 1 turn out? Not too bad! I actually set up Habitica. I've been taking my probiotics every single day, which has made a HUGE difference for me so I'm going to keep on doing that. I've been doing my thankfulness thing every day before bed as well. I'm not reading as much as I'd like, but I'm using Habitica to 'reward' myself every time I sit down and read for a while where I don't have food with me. And I've done it a few times this week, which is a HUGE change. As far as therapists. Called the first one, but they don't have a NP that takes my insurance to handle medication management. Blah. I called my doctor's office afterwards to see about their therapist (this was Monday) and they were like "we'll have the doctor call you." Haven't heard anything. Calling back tomorrow particularly since I'm completely out of my antidepressant again and I'm hoping they can increase my dosage a little maybe. Because I'm at my 'normal' but it's not a true normal. But either way, I'm calling them back tomorrow. Also I put in my two weeks notice on Wednesday at the retail second job and my last shift was tonight so I've got that going for me 4 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Pt. II: Habit Swapping Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55 Link to comment
Ensi Posted December 3, 2018 Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 Following! Your goals sound sensible, for sure. Have a great challenge 1 Quote -:*~ Journal ~*:- Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted December 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2018 41 minutes ago, Ensi said: Following! Your goals sound sensible, for sure. Have a great challenge Thanks! I really think the reading thing will help with IE. One of my big challenges is that I feel like I can only read when I'm eating, so instead of punishing myself for reading and eating, I figure I can reward myself for when I read without eating! 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Pt. II: Habit Swapping Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55 Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted December 6, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2018 Hello everyone, happy Wednesday! I wanted to give everyone an update on how I was doing with things. Overall, I think adding the 'read without food' goal was a good idea because it pushes me to read and rebuild the habit as something to do by itself. It's not perfect but it's a great start. I think for next challenge I'll add a goal to eat when I'm hungry. No matter when that is, just to stop and eat something immediately if I'm in the position to (The only exceptions being in meetings or in the car). I've got a follow up appt with my doctor (waaaaaaaay later than I was supposed to oops) so I'm on the way to getting back into behavioral therapy. I really like the fact that I've been doing the thankfulness thing every night. It forces me to think about good things from the day and go to bed in a more positive mindset. Also probiotics are absolutely fantastic and I don't know why I keep not taking them when I know they do a good job. Bye y'all, I'm off to get myself something to eat since I'm starting to feel quite hungry! 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Pt. II: Habit Swapping Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55 Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted December 10, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 10, 2018 Hello everyone! Life is still life. I'm managing. My Christmas tree is up, I've been actually taking the time to read without having food nearby (I'm still eating and reading some, but the feeling that I can come back to my book later helps). We have SO much snow. This year and last year are the first times I've lived somewhere that got snow before January. It's super weird. But yeah we have like a foot of snow >_> I'm glad I don't have to go anywhere tomorrow for sure! 2 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Pt. II: Habit Swapping Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55 Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted December 14, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2018 Whooooooo drop kick me JESUS it's been a week. Snow snow snow Also, my friend fell on ice and bruised her tailbone, so I drove her home and all sorts of other places that basically ended up with my day being low key shot. whoops. But I was happy to help her Today I went grocery shopping so that was more of my day gone. So now it's time to catch up on work while Mr. Right is at a concert >_> And get my extra youtube video handled as well as catch up on my favorite channels!! <3 Intuitive eating has been okay, not great. Habit tracking has been that way as well. I had to put off my doctor's appt again because of snow >_> But honestly I wouldn't have been able to get out of the street on Tuesday. No kidding. It was bad. But yeah, it's been something else. 3 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Pt. II: Habit Swapping Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55 Link to comment
shaar Posted December 14, 2018 Report Share Posted December 14, 2018 Wow, that is a LOT of snow!! I'm up in New England and aside from a snowy Thanksgiving we haven't had anything so we're all just kind of looking at each other warily and waiting for the other shoe to drop.....?? e e k You are an awesome friend to drive your injured pal around!! I'm sure she was super appreciative! Also giiirl your MAKEUP SKILLS. MY LORD. g o r g e o u s !!!! <3 1 Quote i am not waiting for a hero. i saved myself long ago. Level 56 Bardic Time-Mage; of the Furious Heart STR.55 DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65 "Well...in the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... ...But that's the way things are. The choice is yours." Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted December 14, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2018 6 hours ago, shaar said: Wow, that is a LOT of snow!! I'm up in New England and aside from a snowy Thanksgiving we haven't had anything so we're all just kind of looking at each other warily and waiting for the other shoe to drop.....?? e e k You are an awesome friend to drive your injured pal around!! I'm sure she was super appreciative! Also giiirl your MAKEUP SKILLS. MY LORD. g o r g e o u s !!!! <3 It kinda was, especially for this time of year >_> I'm just like.. ok VA why are you like this?? Right now we've got a sleety/rainy mess falling from the sky for the next 24ish hours but hopefully tomorrow sometime it'll finish melting the mess on the roads. I was happy to see it on the ground, but on the roads it's no bueno. I'm just glad I got to help her She offered me a place in her home on Christmas day since Mr. Right is going to be sleeping that day and working that night. Otherwise I'd end up spending Christmas all alone. Thanks <3 I've been really having fun with it recently! 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Pt. II: Habit Swapping Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55 Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted December 17, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 17, 2018 I just need to get some melancholy thoughts out of my head. Spoiler Today hasn't been the greatest day. It started well, and I was so happy and cheerful this morning but I'm super lonely and sad and stressed. I ate a whole bag of goldfish crackers. Partially because I'm stressed and worried about my husband with work and other issues. Partially because I'm lonely and bored. I ran out of stuff to do 2.5 hours ago so I decided to try to wile away some time before it felt early enough to go to bed. Part of me is trying to not be so bothered about the goldfish crackers because I don't feel super sick. But those were for me to eat this week and now they're gone. I did do a lot today- a lot more than I usually do. I got almost 4k steps, which never happens. Usually I'm in the 2k area. At best. But I had that large snack before dinner. I don't know. I'm so confused. I've got so many mental things happening. Few of them good. Being at home alone all the time really isn't good for my mental health, but I don't have too many (any) other choices really. I feel like I lock everything up. I feel like I'm a festering pit of loneliness, worry, and frustration. I feel cabin fever, but at the same time, I can't convince myself to go anywhere. I'm lonely, but I don't reach out because I feel like I'm a burden on people's lives. The only reason I'm even a little bit okay typing this out here is that like 2 people see it. Maybe. Like my blog/Youtube channel. Basically no one sees it, idk why I bother sometimes. I feel like it's just something to whittle away at empty hours. Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes life is realizing that all the promises and dreams of doing something great are just that- dreams. I'll never do anything worthwhile. I sit at home and keep my dog alive and keep my cat out of the Christmas tree and try to get myself together enough to cook for my husband semi-regularly so he doesn't have a heart attack at 35 from eating frozen burritos and fast food exclusively while also consuming vast amounts of caffeine and nicotine, not having a sleep schedule, and being constantly stressed. (he's a corrections officer) A quote that I always come back to is this one: "Was this adulthood? This pruning of dreams to be practical?" (Night Road by Kristen Hannah). It breaks my heart every time. But yet... every time I read it, it hits a little harder. The older I get, the more I feel this in my soul. Part of me wants to argue that dreams just change rather than die. But that's the part of me that tries so hard to believe that people are good, the part that dies a little bit more every time the core awfulness of people is revealed again. What's the point of leaving the house, of trying with people, if it feels like basically everyone is an asshole that doesn't care what happens to anyone else? I'm struggling today. Struggling a lot. I think I'm going to be done here, go take the dog out and get a nice hot shower and get some rest and maybe a new perspective. 1 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Pt. II: Habit Swapping Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55 Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted December 17, 2018 Report Share Posted December 17, 2018 Jedi, you are depressed. I think it's from your circumstances rather than any biological factors, and it's depression all the same. It is perfectly normal for someone in your situation to feel the way you do. Those feelings are completely valid. I want to encourage you to express them to your husband. They are not his fault, and you will not be blaming him for your feelings, simply telling him what they are. "Locking everything up" is making all those feels you are struggling with far stronger than they would if you gave yourself permission to feel them and said them out loud to your husband. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. 1 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
shaar Posted December 17, 2018 Report Share Posted December 17, 2018 11 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: I just need to get some melancholy thoughts out of my head. Your post resonated a lot with me. I Agree With Tank, because I can finally admit I too am depressed, and it's also circumstantial. I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, I know how much it absolutely hurts and sucks and is just.... bleak? Empty? Hopeless at times. It helps me sometimes to remember 'now is not forever', and when I have happy moments/days I can really look at them and say 'this is good' and cherish it, because I know what it's like to be in the pit, too. I hope you can have a better day today and have some good moments in there, we're all always here for you. <3 1 Quote i am not waiting for a hero. i saved myself long ago. Level 56 Bardic Time-Mage; of the Furious Heart STR.55 DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65 "Well...in the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... ...But that's the way things are. The choice is yours." Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted December 18, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2018 On 12/17/2018 at 9:24 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said: Jedi, you are depressed. I think it's from your circumstances rather than any biological factors, and it's depression all the same. It is perfectly normal for someone in your situation to feel the way you do. Those feelings are completely valid. I want to encourage you to express them to your husband. They are not his fault, and you will not be blaming him for your feelings, simply telling him what they are. "Locking everything up" is making all those feels you are struggling with far stronger than they would if you gave yourself permission to feel them and said them out loud to your husband. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. This is... not wrong. I'll definitely consider talking to him about them, but I also don't always like talking to him about things the he can't really help with. I know it makes him feel helpless and he's got a high stress work environment. I'm doing a bad enough job taking care of him as it is I'm trying to get myself into some therapy (still...) so I at least have a reliable outlet for my feelings and issues. And maybe a slightly higher dose of my antidepressant. It happens, I think I've been living with this in various iterations for the past few years now. It's hard, and frustrating, but it's real, no matter what I tell myself during the worst days. And I know it's making a negative impact on my intuitive eating too, but right now I'm doing the best I can with what I have. On 12/17/2018 at 11:18 AM, shaar said: Your post resonated a lot with me. I Agree With Tank, because I can finally admit I too am depressed, and it's also circumstantial. I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, I know how much it absolutely hurts and sucks and is just.... bleak? Empty? Hopeless at times. It helps me sometimes to remember 'now is not forever', and when I have happy moments/days I can really look at them and say 'this is good' and cherish it, because I know what it's like to be in the pit, too. I hope you can have a better day today and have some good moments in there, we're all always here for you. <3 It's definitely hard. Empty and hopeless are definitely good words for the way I was feeling that night for sure. It reminds me of the lyrics from a song called Valleys from a band called Close Your Eyes- "how can I forget the Joy of the Mountaintops down in the valleys?" It was definitely a better day. And I really appreciate that <3 some days I feel like I'm shouting into the Void(tm) but then you guys come back with messages like this and I remember I'm not in this all alone <3 1 Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi's Hero Journey Pt. II: Habit Swapping Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55 Link to comment
Tanktimus the Encourager Posted December 18, 2018 Report Share Posted December 18, 2018 1 hour ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: This is... not wrong. I'll definitely consider talking to him about them, but I also don't always like talking to him about things the he can't really help with. I know it makes him feel helpless and he's got a high stress work environment. I'm doing a bad enough job taking care of him as it is It's as much his job to take care of you as it is your job to take care of him. You're both in this together, and both count equally in the marriage. Your needs are not more important than his, nor are they less important than his. 2 Quote Current Challenge "By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath Link to comment
Cheetah Posted December 19, 2018 Report Share Posted December 19, 2018 I Agree With Tank™ 7 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said: I'm not in this all alone Not at all. I've been right where you are. It took some time and a lot of work, but I got it sorted, and I know you can too. You'll come out on the other side of this, stronger than you've ever been. I definitely couldn't have done it without my beautiful and supportive wife. I'm glad I talked to her about everything, so that she had the opportunity to help me through it. Have you made any more progress toward getting counseling? 2 Quote Level 47 Quasi-Human Ranger "Forget failure. Forget mistakes. Forget everything except what you're going to do NOW, and DO IT." - Lou Ferrigno "Foxes Never Quit!" - Leicester City FC KBO. - Churchill Link to comment
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