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Morag goes all-in with elemental power - 3/5 EARTH


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It's time to post a challenge.

 

I am way in there and already firing on all cylinders, but all break week I have not gotten around to posting a challenge. Gotta do it now.

 

Earth.

 

What a wonderful element, this one. On the last day of break week I finally got around to making another batch of kimchi, love kimchi, so the fire of last challenge will stay with me for a while longer still. And on we move to earth.

 

Funny how this past Saturday I had a quiet, being home alone morning and like no time has passed my old-new habits got reactivated, I jumped and danced through my morning and lunch routine, even got a solid Home Blessing done (google and check out flylady if you are lost about what I am talking).

 

Sure not all is set in stone, some things still don't come easy (or at all for that matter) but it is nice to find that dome things, getting back to them is way easier than I thought and I am indeed not at square one starting over. I am indeed 3 1/2 years into my journey and I have learned a thing or two.

 

Need to run.

For now I leave you with a picture and will add (type out) some proper goals and such this afternoon or tomorrow as I am able.

2d08a62a6e6d7d4af51281a715abea0e.jpg

 

Love you Rangers!

 

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8 hours ago, Morag said:

3 1/2 years into my journey and I have learned a thing or two.

 

Wahoo!  Love it and I am here...  

 

That knitting technique where you are blending the two colors is pretty cool.  I guess I never thought about how that would happen if the skein didn't come that way...  Its lovely!!!  

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We love you too! [emoji4] Following 
Hello! Good to have you!
Wahoo!  Love it and I am here...  
 
That knitting technique where you are blending the two colors is pretty cool.  I guess I never thought about how that would happen if the skein didn't come that way...  Its lovely!!!  
Heya Terra, it's not a knitting technique per sé, I am just holding two strands together. For now, while I knit the outer border it is one strand per colour, but I really am looking forward to the start of the pattern, where I will switch to uni-colour. Sadly I am really in the mood to knit on it, yet have said yes, to knitting my sister-in-law some mittens for christmas, meaning all the blanket knitting has a tinge of "I should work on the gift mittens"-guilt to it. I thought I was almost done with the outer area, and it seems I was not mistaken (had to do a quick row count) I have just started knitting row 29/31 of the border, meaning just under 3 rows to go... that sounds like nothing.... at a 2m double knit blanket it still adds up to almost 2 days of work, might be worth it to put the mittens away, push through and ... ughh I DON'T KNOW.

The mittens are an on-the-go-project, tomorrow I have two long car rides, so I might be able to make some headway, can't wait to get them off my needles.
They are gorgeous, no question, and I will probably cast on another pair as soon as these are done, I am a sucker for Norwegian mitten designs, and especially the selbu rose, but yeah.... knitting for myself sounds really enticing to me right about now.

There's a difference between knitting something with someone in mind and then giving it to them. Either they like it or they don't but rarely ever do I tell people what I have on my needles for them, so I can make the most gorgeous thing I can, with the material and pattern I have in mind... and no input of people's opinions. Ugh.

And knitting shawls or scarfs is easy, hard to get the size wrong of a scarf or a shawl... unlike with mittens.... anyway I can ramble on and on about knitting and I could easily never stop.

Did heap of flylady routines today, for earth element I made a bread from scratch, flour yeast pinch of sugar for the little bacteria, pinch of salt for taste, gut-feeling-amount of warm water, knead, let rest, knead again, add olive oil, rarara, was delicious.

Now bed. Talk soon

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Quick update. It's Thursday. Putting my anti-procrastination day on Wednesday is a bit impractical. It's practical too, because Wednesday's my day off, but when I am over tired like I was yesterday and stay in bed until almost noon, all the doctors I need to call for making appointments (nothing going on, just end-of-year-checkups with the kids) are gone already, or I tell myself they are gone, which is stupid. I should have called them anyway, but I had my mum here and we talked about life, which took quite a while, when we got back from the school Christmas basar, hubby was home and upset about not getting promoted this coming spring. And I was upset about him not getting promoted (=out of shift work) so we ate delicious, but in-elaborate foods and started a new game of 7days2die. We even went to bed at a moderately decent time.

So, none of the calls were made, I didn't prep my classes (will built a house with my participants today, second round, so lots of roofing material and windows and wallpaper and such. I just love this work that I do. I just hope I can continue working in the elderly home come January. I just hope. That would be a sucky christmas present, if I go to the quarterly quality circle meeting on Dec 7th and the final message is: no funding, it's over. That would SERIOUSLY suck.

The dark ist starting to get to my, though my therapist suggests it's more a case of workload and stress and less of light, she may be right, or not, who cares, it still sucks to eat breakfast with the flat lit up like a christmas tree instead of watching the sunrise. Kids left a half-hour ago, we started breakfast an hour ago, now it is starting to be light out. Sucks!

And on the other end of the spectrum we left for our 1h+ car ride Tuesday night around six, not only was it COLD out it also was utterly dark. The only thing I got done on my mittens was pull a needle out, which made me stress about stitches and frogging and all that stuff, because with the dark car on a bumpy Autobahn I didn't get any of the stitches back on the needle and eventually -utterly frustrated- gave up.
Luckily the yarn is very well behaved (75% wool) and all the stitches were still where they had dropped, sitting there waiting for me to pick them back up. I have still to knit a row to see if everything is in order, but I am confident now that it will be.

I have to write out my class and shower and get dressed for work and all that good stuff.
Thank you, dear rangers, for keeping me company while I finished breakfast. It is a bit lonely when the monsters go to school and they take their bickering elsewhere.

Today is Thursday, and we have nothing planned. Yes I have work, and therapy afterwards, but once I am home I am free. I might call the doctors to make appointments but aside from that... nothing much to do... may get some knitting done, or some crafts... I have christmas things to do...

Talk soon, k?

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18 hours ago, Morag said:

The dark ist starting to get to my, though my therapist suggests it's more a case of workload and stress and less of light, she may be right, or not

 

No harm in trying to work on all three things. I know it's easier said than done. But I know you do what you can to get enough light...can't hurt to try. That's a part of your environment that you can control at least a little bit (even when the sun isn't cooperating). Not sure what you can do to work on the workload and stress, but I hope that working with the therapist will help you find a path.

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No harm in trying to work on all three things. I know it's easier said than done. But I know you do what you can to get enough light...can't hurt to try. That's a part of your environment that you can control at least a little bit (even when the sun isn't cooperating). Not sure what you can do to work on the workload and stress, but I hope that working with the therapist will help you find a path.

I am getting a bit better with figuring out what I can and what I cannot change/influence. And it sometimes even happens that I don't while about the later, but actually get working on the former... sometimes.
How was your weekend? 

Weekend was long and tiring, but I kept the Sunday free of things, so all the things undone bleeding into Sunday stayed manageable. Thankfully.

Also I did some knitting on The (awesome) Blanket (of awesome) and got a stunning(!!!) Almost 5 rows done, that's 2m long double knit rows, it's A LOT. And I got into the pattern and am really liking it. No, I am not being one of those people that can't shut up about themselves, I am far too self-critical, and I rarely have nothing to criticize, and I could name a few things, if I gave my inner critic the Mic, but I am not doing that. I am wholeheartedly happy about the fabric and colours and pattern of this blanket that I designed and am currently knitting, critic be damned.

 

Loving that.

 

Monday

Work was different, talked a lot with a very small group of inhabitants. I think they needed to talk about these things.

That's all I am going to say about it.

 

Bday boy was and is happy.

Extended family was exhausting, as per always, but the kid enjoyed it all and is still happy. Bedtime soon, tomorrow more work, and showing my mum how her tablet works, and afternoon off.

Happy birthday to your baby boy!!!  

 

 

Thank you, dear.

 

---

 

Weight is widely fluctuating lately. I am down almost 2kg from 2 days ago, so yeah lots of factors, hydration, other stuff, also, not the least factor: stress, relationship stress, work stress, December stress. I have a meeting on Friday, with a long drive there and back, which I hope will tell me if I have work come 2019. This is stressful. So I am just taking note of the changes, not judging yet.

 

I am looking forward to a few days off inbetween the holidays... but I do hope it's not the end end, you know?...

 

Blanket to be:

da1affe536e8477617139feb8e820a67.jpg

 

Anyway, I am in need of a training plan. There's lots of things playing into the whole thing, but I do need a plan for what I want to do long-er-term. Just giving a class each 4 days a week, is not enough to keep me growing. Yes, I want to get further training, but I also need to find something that engages me on a personal level.

 

I did enjoy the mudrun 10/2016 quite a lot, but I didn't like it much, that I couldn't climb anything but the easiest obstacles by myself, if I do it again, and I'd like to long-term, I need more upper body strength, running 6k was also only possible after QUITE A TIME of training up to it: I currently have ZERO patience with running, jogging anything in that area. I can almost say I hate it. I don't think, it will stay that way, but for right now it is not an option.

 

I would like to lift heavy, but I have almost no budget, and no spare time to get to places, so it is a rather tight fit right now. I work, I come home, do some household maintenance, I rest for a tiny bit, the kids come home, we live, they sleep, I sleep, repeat.

In my perfect world I would throw out some clutter, free up some room, for no cost would cobble together a squatrack, be gifted (find cheap) some weights, and a bench and some gymnastics rings.... in the perfect world I also have the budget, and the time/ mental capacity to do both bouldering as well as aerial silks... but then, who lives in the perfect world... in the perfect-perfect world my kids eat veggies too...

 

Mumph.

 

I... am rambling, again, you be good, talk to you soon.

 

Fun fact: this earth elemental challenge I for the first time in at least 3/4 of a year find access to the habits, I have been building since I got here. Foundation of long term happiness/growth/change/whateveryouwanttocallit is still there.

I AM NOT AT SQUARE ONE, I have a good, solid foundation, when I get into the stress management all of those are still accessible, just waiting for me to get my act together.

 

Very reassuring!

 

Second try: g'night, be good!

:-*

 

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PS

 

 

I'm amazed by all your different knitting projects! And you don't just start them...you finish too :-)

 

Thank you, dear, this blanket will not be done for months, maybe even years, but that's ok, I love it.

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5 hours ago, Morag said:

I would like to lift heavy, but I have almost no budget, and no spare time to get to places, so it is a rather tight fit right now. I work, I come home, do some household maintenance, I rest for a tiny bit, the kids come home, we live, they sleep, I sleep, repeat.

In my perfect world I would throw out some clutter, free up some room, for no cost would cobble together a squatrack, be gifted (find cheap) some weights, and a bench and some gymnastics rings.... in the perfect world I also have the budget, and the time/ mental capacity to do both bouldering as well as aerial silks... but then, who lives in the perfect world... in the perfect-perfect world my kids eat veggies too...

 

I think you could do some version of this. In the US, it's pretty common for people to sell some types of exercise equipment very cheaply. Things like Craig's list (do you have that?), garage sales or a local newspaper. It might take a while, but I think you could find stuff very cheaply. The balance might be making sure that the stuff you can find is actually stuff you would want. Anyway, if you really want to do this, my suggestion would be to break this up into small tasks. The whole thing is a lot of work, but there are small elements. Do you already have a pull-up bar? That's pretty cheap on it's own, and the strength would help you with bouldering, silks and obstacle course races (all things you are interested in but not able to directly pursue right now).

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Just a quick hello:

I am still here and I am still alive. Kinda. Life is a lot. But I am hanging in there. Can't wait for vacation time. We're not traveling, but just a few days off... that sounds so nice.

There's appointments almost every day of this week, which is really shitty, because I have the middle of the week off and would have liked to enjoy it. Will have to wait and see what I can do.

More soonish.

De Plan™
Monday work then wait for Hermes delivery (aka be home for no apparent reason)
Tuesday no work, get car, fix tablet issues for mum, drive to HH, evening out with hubby.
Wednesday no work (as always) return car in the a.m., Christmas party in the p.m. (escape thingy and dinner after), no car so carpool?
Thursday no work, then therapy, then littleboy playdate, while mommy date and tea. May be cool, maybe exhausting, we'll see.
Friday work, hubby is cooking for his colleagues, possibly Ikea with my mum, followed by big boy's birthday celebration when he's home from his internship (around 4pm), coffee, tea, cake, the whole loud family.
Saturday off, the kid has movie and pizza plans with his friends. Xmas market with my mum & kids today or tomorrow.
Sunday possibly xmas market at a small place with pony riding, and punch and all the things.

Monday start of last week of work.
Thursday last day of school.
Friday little boy is visiting me at work with hubby. Gifts for my participants...


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3 hours ago, Morag said:

We're not traveling, but just a few days off... that sounds so nice.

Sometimes those are the very best kinds of vacation. Travelling can add to stress when all you really want is a break from everything. Well done for hanging on in there! 

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There was a LOT OF other stuff going on... so (what feels like) most of de plan had to be adjusted.

Seems like the challenge is right on target though:
Earth Challenge -- all the existential stuff.
Money, relationship, touch wood: no health issues bigger than a cold so far (don't need those anyway, so we are good).
Feeling unsettled and uprooted, yet not replanted (does that make any sense??)

So hubby is not being promoted: we are not moving house. He would have deserved it. We were sad for a bit, then the next thing boiled up and we don't have time to be sad much any more.
Hubby is under so much strain with Christmas season at work, and relationship bullocks up and down. I am hoping to get this budget in hand so we get our financial situation under control. I have to take some actions to get a bigger and more reliable income headed my way. And yes, self care is always still the thing that gets cut, and it's not good.
Doing some curling up right now, but need a bit more still.

Food is not awesome, but starting to be less stressful. I have a 5 week plan and just hang up the plan for the week ahead onto the fridge. It is a nice thing to have, no decisions on what to eat, or at least very little to decide: we're not home this day -> scratch that dinner, discount or appetite for something? -> all good.
But the overall plan is there, and that helps. A lot.

Nutrition is still abysmal, and my weight is solidly around 95kg, but I am working on getting my emotional/mental batteries back into working shape at the moment, nutrition, while important is not top priority right now.

So yeah. Not a lot to report. Still going to therapy, still giving seated gymnastics classes 4× per week, still struggling with almost every aspect of life, still not given up. Because I am a ranger, that's what we do: we keep going, we adjust and overcome.

Photos from my day out with mum and the kids:
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72be3b512af0ce54a24d1c523e791f12.jpg
dbbecefd56663f84ae6d56a03c3931c5.jpg

Love you guys. Don't give up on me, k?

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It's time to draw a line under this challenge and add up some sums.
Been a hell of a ride.

First off: integrating EARTH into my life on a tangible and practical level: not really. Unlike air and fire, it was very hard to even keep the challenge in my mind, let alone chose clothes or accessories in a matching colour.
I continuously battled existential fears, all the things I thought solid, felt wobbly. Relationships, trust in people, finances, work, home-life... it all surfaced and I barely kept my head above water all through last month, so to speak.

I will do another cycle of elemental challenges at some point, because these really speak to me, but I am really kind of afraid of revisiting earth, because it was hard. Way hard.

Most things have been sorted out. Relationships are mending or resting, trust is being built day-to-day, budget has been written and is continuously updated to mirror reality, work is shitty (I love giving classes to these very old people and working to give back to them or help them keep their physical autonomy, just really sick and tired of the unstable on-an-hourly-basis-pay-situation), but I have steps I aim to remedy the situation with (as soon as I summon some cohones (sp?)), home-life... we all are glad for a few days of rest between the holidays and year's end.
So damned glad.

Typing on my phone. Battery almost dead. More after charging.

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19 hours ago, Morag said:

I will do another cycle of elemental challenges at some point, because these really speak to me, but I am really kind of afraid of revisiting earth, because it was hard. Way hard.

Often the challenges that we find the most difficult are the ones that have the most meaningful impact. Even if that impact is only a greater understanding of ourselves. 

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Taking a few days off work, off therapy, off life-struggles... I should remember to do that again soon, not next December but earlier than that most definitely.

Hubby gave me a calendar for christmas, full of mindfulness exercises and helpful nudges. Most of it is sorted into weekly overviews, monthly goal setting and reviewing after. Yet the start is a look into myself: what makes me happy, what unhappy, what are my values, what are the things I did, that I am proud of, what are my goals and dreams. It has me itching to sort my shit out and it feels nice, that itch. Goes well with my squatmas doms. Very nice indeed.

Got some schtuff done this morning. Answered some difficult questions. Learned some things from the warriors and got some cleaning and throwing away of things done.

Setting some goals for the next year to come... I am looking at my dreams and life goals and I see none of them in my near future... meaning they might never come to pass if I don't change something.

Just have to figure out which 1-2 are my priority. Priorities are like arms, if you have more than 2 something went wrong.

So much from me for today. Next challenge to come: water.
But I'll post in here until the new forums are up.

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