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elizevdmerwe - Have husband, and Band of Brothers & Sisters

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13 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Enjoy the movie! Good for you for   upping your deadlift weight. Your hard work and consistency is paying off

Thank you.

 

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Found this video of three South Africans visiting America at some point. Their singing one of my favourite Christmas hymns. There are other versions on YouTube, but this one shows the English words on the projector in the background.

 

I should probably be doing finances, but am in the mood to listen to Christmas songs, so I'm trying to put together a YouTube playlist of my favourites and new songs. Any suggestions?

 

A new message from my aunt last night, w.r.t. my mom. She first spoke to my mom and then the sister in charge, yesterday evening. My aunt was upset about my mom's voice sounding slurred and the fact that my mom just wanted to talk about the new man/friend she has in the home. She was also upset that the staff wasn't willing to send my mom's phone back to the shop to be repaired, firstly as my mom keeps breaking it, and secondly because they've already sent it in three times in the last two months. As we aren't prepared to give her extra money to have it fixed again, my aunt added that they've put data and airtime money on her cellphone for her. I'm scratching my head as to how extra data and airtime can fix the phone? And also ... she was told they have had to fix the phone so many times, don't they realise it will just be broken again and is a waste of money? Brandt just pulled up his shoulders about the phone but w.r.t. my mom talking with a slur, he said he can only assume they spoke to her shortly after she's received her meds, as she was up and about and definitely well and knowing what was going on around her, when he saw her on her birthday. A part of me wants to phone the home to make sure that things are ok, find out what's going on, but I know as soon as they tell me what they are struggling with, I'll get upset again. Another part says, if there are anything that is medically an emergency, they will phone.

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Ok, I had to phone the home for myself. I spoke to the morning sister and she said my mom is fine, she has calmed down and she is taking part in the activities as usual, she is going about her business as usual. She reminded me that my mom will need more arthritis meds soon, but she'll let me know when they are close to running out. I asked specifically w.r.t. the phone, and she said no the phone was damaged, but can still operate. Then just told me not to worry, my mom are being looked after well. They know what to do for her.

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7 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

Ok, I had to phone the home for myself. I spoke to the morning sister and she said my mom is fine, she has calmed down and she is taking part in the activities as usual, she is going about her business as usual. She reminded me that my mom will need more arthritis meds soon, but she'll let me know when they are close to running out. I asked specifically w.r.t. the phone, and she said no the phone was damaged, but can still operate. Then just told me not to worry, my mom are being looked after well. They know what to do for her.

Yep, your mom was just trying to manipulate yours sister. I'm glad you can call the home without talking directly to your mom. You can put your mind at ease without having to interact with her.

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18 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Yep, your mom was just trying to manipulate yours sister. I'm glad you can call the home without talking directly to your mom. You can put your mind at ease without having to interact with her.

Talking to the sister helped me to stay calm and not wonder/stress about the situation. When last I spoke to the receptionist, just before she went on maternity leave, she said that I could ask to speak to the sisters directly. And actually when I spoke to the other sister, when I told them I'm going no contact, she also said I could speak to them directly. I forgot.

15 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Sounds like your aunt still gets manipulated by her sister.

Yip, she is manipulating them (her brother and his wife, her sil). And I've told them, but they don't accept that. Also, I think it's also about they being "the adults" and I'm "the child", so they don't take what I tell them about her condition seriously. A part of them thinks they know better. But that's just the impression I got. That's how a lot of older South African people act towards their children, or those younger than them.

 

-------------------------------------------

I did not exercise Friday afternoon. I was bone tired. It is hot and humid, typical, glorious summer weather! Brandt's fixing our water pump as the controller finally gave in and switches itself off 90% of the time. Let's just sum it up as the last two days were back to basics, as no pump --> low water pressure --> hardly any water coming though the pipes --> gas water heaters don't switch on, no hot water... At least we had electricity. So today I'll catch up with the laundry.

image.png.aa89fee65c69b5ac6ef834083f67a0da.png

Edited by elizevdmerwe
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7 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

Yip, she is manipulating them (her brother and his wife, her sil). And I've told them, but they don't accept that. Also, I think it's also about they being "the adults" and I'm "the child", so they don't take what I tell them about her condition seriously. A part of them thinks they know better. But that's just the impression I got. That's how a lot of older South African people act towards their children, or those younger than them.

 

Remember, your Aunt and Mother were raised in the same environment. Your Aunt was probably taught in subtle ways to let your mom have her way, and after so many years the thought of setting boundaries with your mom just does not compute. I suspect you are also right about your Aunt not taking seriously anyone she knew as a child. Sadly, that's not just a South African thing, a lot of people are that way.

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On 12/14/2018 at 1:54 AM, elizevdmerwe said:

Thank you.

 

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Found this video of three South Africans visiting America at some point. Their singing one of my favourite Christmas hymns. There are other versions on YouTube, but this one shows the English words on the projector in the background.

 

I should probably be doing finances, but am in the mood to listen to Christmas songs, so I'm trying to put together a YouTube playlist of my favourites and new songs. Any suggestions?

 

 

That is SO beautiful elize!

I really appreciate you posting that! ty

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16 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Remember, your Aunt and Mother were raised in the same environment. Your Aunt was probably taught in subtle ways to let your mom have her way, and after so many years the thought of setting boundaries with your mom just does not compute. I suspect you are also right about your Aunt not taking seriously anyone she knew as a child. Sadly, that's not just a South African thing, a lot of people are that way.

Sorry I didn't explain the family relations properly.

This is my mom's sister in law, Biebe. She is married to my mom's brother, Chris. My mom stayed with them for 9months before they put her on the bus to me. Biebe is the one who now doesn't believe what I tell her about my mom's condition (even though the sister at their clinic told her the same thing), and keeps contact with my mom, and causes me so much stress. Aunt Biebe's husband, uncle Chris has actually said often that my mom was the first girl after two boys, so she was spoiled as a child. Two years later he was born, and then five years later my aunt Gerda. Just before aunt Gerda's 18th birthday my grandparents divorced, and my grandmother turned seriously, aggressively narcissistic. That was when I was about 6yrs old. But narcissism wasn't recognized as such then. That was when my grandmother, my mom, my aunt Gerda and I moved into a house and stayed together until aunt Gerda got married and moved out. It was only when you put a name to my mom's condition, and I started reading, that I realised that my grandmother was narcissistic.

 

Aunt Gerda now has very little to no contact with my mom. She only contacts my mom on her birthday and Christmas. Otherwise she doesn't want anything to do with my mom. She is only 10yrs older than me, was the baby in the house, yet she did more for me when I was a child (that I can remember), than my mom did. I once wrote an essay in primary school about "the person I love most" and confessed that I thought Gerda was actually my mom. Long story short I got such a hiding from my grandmother. I've never forgotten that. When she got married, aunt Gerda used to take me in over school holidays.

 

16 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I suspect you are also right about your Aunt not taking seriously anyone she knew as a child. Sadly, that's not just a South African thing, a lot of people are that way. 

I was thinking just now, that maybe it is also a case of feeling guilty in a way for sending my mom this way and not wanting to look after her any longer? But in that regard it would never have worked out had my mom stayed with them (Biebe and Chris), and now my mom has the right doctors, treatment and people around her to help her.

 

8 hours ago, TGP said:

That is SO beautiful elize!

I really appreciate you posting that! ty

Pleasure! I'm finally catching some Christmas spirit. A friend sent me this link last night. It is another Afrikaans song after the prayer "Our Father which are in heaven, hallowed be Thy name". Some of the great Afrikaans singers are performing together here. Surprised the boys with my own soprano (discant), although it was a bit scratchy and sometimes off note, after not having sung that high in a long time :D;) We were taught this song in choir in primary and high school.

 

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On home front: no exercise again. I caught up with laundry, and other chores. Read through  the book I bought on animal feeding and re-evaluated the balance of the meals I feed the dogs and cat. I made two huge batches this morning for them: meat mix + veg mix... I wasn't far off. The dogs liked it. Stampy Cat will 'give' his opinion at tonight's feed.

 

Rocco is counting down the days till Christmas, but otherwise really not much. Nice relaxed, hot summer days! Hope you guys are enjoying your white Christmas season there in the north.

:love_heart: *hugs*

 

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3 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

On home front: no exercise again. I caught up with laundry, and other chores. Read through  the book I bought on animal feeding and re-evaluated the balance of the meals I feed the dogs and cat. I made two huge batches this morning for them: meat mix + veg mix... I wasn't far off. The dogs liked it. Stampy Cat will 'give' his opinion at tonight's feed.

 

Rocco is counting down the days till Christmas, but otherwise really not much. Nice relaxed, hot summer days! Hope you guys are enjoying your white Christmas season there in the north.

:love_heart: *hugs*

 

We're having a bit of a "heat wave" with temps in the 30s and 40s Fahrenheit, so things are melting. Hopefully the white comes back though. ;)

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19 hours ago, annyshay said:

We're having a bit of a "heat wave" with temps in the 30s and 40s Fahrenheit, so things are melting. Hopefully the white comes back though. ;)

Huh, how about that. We are also in the 30s-40s... Celcius. Things are also melting, including us I think. Due to mozzies at night we need to have sheets on the bed. They are the only things that keep coming back.

 

 

Although it is a public holiday (actual public holiday was Sunday, so it is extended to Monday), Eric has come in to work. He and Thoko have next week and first week of the new year off (with pay), but he wants "his garden" neat. I'm very grateful because I'm too lazy, tired, hot (input excuse here) to mow the lawn as well. Will probably weed though. Our garden is starting to look like a jungle due to all the rain.

 

This is the most peaceful I've been in... I don't know how long. I'm really, really going to get to the finances today! Brandt will be off for 3 days next week and two days the week after. He is actually working on Skedonk (the real rally car), after he serviced the Uno yesterday.

 

@Tanktimus the Encourager Your dream seemed to have inspired Brandt to use X-flight and Flight simulator to fly all over Texas. He's been "flying" most evenings in front of his computer this past weekend. San Antonio international and another little place San M....? somewhere around there. Oh and around Austen.

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6 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

 

@Tanktimus the Encourager Your dream seemed to have inspired Brandt to use X-flight and Flight simulator to fly all over Texas. He's been "flying" most evenings in front of his computer this past weekend. San Antonio international and another little place San M....? somewhere around there. Oh and around Austen.

All part of my master plan ;)  The place you are thinking of is San Marcos. Tell him the last time we flew in to San Antonio we actually saw our apartment complex from the window. We were coming in from the NW  facing SE, our apartment complex was on the Starboard side of the aircraft.

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On 12/17/2018 at 4:27 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

All part of my master plan ;)  The place you are thinking of is San Marcos. Tell him the last time we flew in to San Antonio we actually saw our apartment complex from the window. We were coming in from the NW  facing SE, our apartment complex was on the Starboard side of the aircraft.

Will do, as soon as he stops fighting in Call of Duty. Seems he is taking more breaks playing games, and working less on the cars! Mmm...

 

---------------

I got up early (4h50) but only got to exercise from 5h20! I don't know what took that amount of time, because I did the normal stuff, and time just flew out the window. Another thing that flew past the window were some smaller branches during this afternoon's storm! Small branches that didn't break anything, were mostly thin and full of leaves and flowers. But it was a huge storm! We even had some hail.

Oh, about the exercise this morning. I managed to do:

  • Squats 3x10
  • X-over lunges 3x10
  • Deadlifts 2x10 @ 28.5kg
  • Pushups 2x10

And that was it. Sweat was literally rolling off me in small streams, I needed a towel underneath me, and I just didn't have any strength in my arms or legs. Yes, it was hot and humid that early in the morning. And thus I also drank enough water today.

 

The boys and I went to the movies and ended up seeing Spiderman in the Spiderverse (or something like that). It was funny, fun to watch (with the last cameo by Stan Lee), and we had a great time. Seems Deadpool PG13 isn't showing here at all! Well, at least not in our town, or the neighbouring big city's movie theaters. A lot of parents had the same idea this morning, so the mall was packed! When we got out of the auditorium, you could feel that the mall's airconditioners couldn't handle the number of people there. We got out as fast as possible, but still had to spend another hour and a half in town, grocery-shopping. When we parked at one shop (under roof parking), I realised the lady who had left the space, and left her trolley there for me, had also left a very expensive bottle of whiskey in the top section of the trolley! I told the boys to stay at the car, and ran to the exit (small parking area), but just missed her when she pulled into the traffic. I felt bad for her, and hoped that she would come back to the parking area when she realised later that she left the bottle. I put it up against the wall, in front of the parking spot, where it wouldn't easily be spotted by other people, but she might look around. I really hope she finds it, otherwise someone else will definitely get a Christmas gift.

 

Oh, nearly forgot about the coffee! Can't have that happen! Have a great day/evening.

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Did exercise some yesterday (Wednesday), bible study too, while food and water were good until I was alone during the afternoon. I had a huge chocolate! The boys had gone to play at Francoisana's house and the silence got to me! We also had two storms within those three hours, and then another storm after 19h00, luckily after Brandt was home from work (he was on his bike). Nothing like Tuesday's storm that broke branches and blew over telephone and electricity poles throughout town, but a lot of hard, hard rain! Much obliged, Father! We really needed that. All three our tanks are full again, and personally we'll have water for the next three months.

 

I had a blood sugar (or something) crash and fell asleep on the bed early (19h30+-) last night, woke up around 21h30 when Rocco went to bed, while Adam and Brandt stayed up much, much later. I woke up once through the night, because Rocco had tried to drink water from his water bottle through the night, and somehow ended up with most of it in his bed, and not his mouth/body. So dried things up as best I could. Put a thick towel on his mattress, and we all slept till the alarm woke me at 5h30 this morning.

 

I started proof reading the UK author's book yesterday (might also be why my brain was tired and shut down last night), and I had to look things up in her previous book to make sure of continuity. It's about the only family/drama series that I read, and it is hectic to keep track of everyone, but I love her stories, and characters, and the families that have come together. It is a military-action-romance series, but very involved. This is the author who uses the names of her proof readers (and family) as characters in her stories. So in this version book I'm catching up with the little boys Adam and Rocco, and badass ranger, Brandt :D and all the adventures we're having.

 

Otherwise nothing new or different. I WILL start with finances this afternoon. I just can't do it while Thoko is here on a Thursday. I had more messages from aunt Biebe (my mom's sister in law) w.r.t. my mom but managed to ignore it totally, and only answered her questions about the boys and school (for the third time). And no stress or anxiety either! I'm getting somewhere!

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Yikes, it's been a couple of days since I popped in here last.

Nothing much challenge wise. My brain sort of clonked out when it came to any finances, even the daily ones, so I guess it isn't as much a case of don't wanna's as a "brain is too tired to think that way". I'm even struggling doing proof reading to be honest, and I haven't slept this much in... a very long time.

 

A lot of rain, some more storms. Thursday afternoon saw three blow through in succession, again. Some last minute grocery shopping, and other than taking the boys to the dvd shop just now, I'm not going to town. The sun shone very hot yesterday morning, turning cloudy by the afternoon, which didn't stop the boys from enjoying Francoisana's pool together with her grandchildren and their friend. I visited with her for a bit, then left the boys there. Brandt and I had two hours in a quiet house, until he collected them again after 17h00, while I was busy making dinner. They were exhausted! Fell asleep later the evening at their table :D I had to wake them up to send them to shower and sleep. It started raining soon after they got home, and has been raining on and off throughout the night, and is still raining (it's now 10h00 Sunday). We are finally getting our spring/summer rain.

 

The only sad news I have is that part of my parcel from Amazon - the dry fire training cards - had been sent back. The last tracking update showed the parcel still in NJ state (New Jersey?) on 13 Dec., and all of a sudden I got this email from Amazon saying that the item had been returned and their refunding me. From their list of reasons the only thing I can think of is that it was damaged, and returned by the courier. Unofficially I read on various websites that anything imported relating to "weapons", if you are not an official "gun shop", is not allowed in the country. So I don't know which it is. Well at least I have $21 credit on Amazon which will come in handy. Hopefully we'll get the books this coming week. Too late for Christmas, but it wasn't intended for then.

 

Hope you all have a great, blessed Christmas time! :love_heart:

image.png.77f66dd4c8b8ae20470a750a1b6ea92b.png

 

Edited by elizevdmerwe
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it sounds like you had a really good holiday, maybe except for a few things.

do you garden?  I do quite a bit in our summer, and a bunch of rain after the heat really brings on the plants.   at the very least, it lessens the dust and moderates the heat.

anyways, nice to think of some place with better weather than we have.

 

I hope you had a great Christmas and a good challenge!

 

I'm going to try to stay active here for a while and I appreciate your posts. ty.

 

may your 2019 be a wonderful year for you.

 

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18 hours ago, TGP said:

it sounds like you had a really good holiday, maybe except for a few things.

do you garden?  I do quite a bit in our summer, and a bunch of rain after the heat really brings on the plants.   at the very least, it lessens the dust and moderates the heat.

anyways, nice to think of some place with better weather than we have.

 

I hope you had a great Christmas and a good challenge!

 

I'm going to try to stay active here for a while and I appreciate your posts. ty.

 

may your 2019 be a wonderful year for you.

 

The time away was mostly good, and a lot of boundary affirmation, and all round family growth. This December time (sleeping a lot and just not doing everything) was just what I needed (in hindsight), although not so good challenge wise. Everything tapered down last week and this week nothing is happening.

I have a few flower beds around our front stoep which I personally maintain. The rest of the garden is too big if I can only  spend "off" time there, that's why we have a gardener come in once a week, which isn't enough to keep things in check, but it helps. He is also off these two weeks, so ... things are growing hectically. We've had a lot more rain. Today is our first sunshine day in the last 5 days I think. We also seem to have a lot of pumpkins coming up wild, due to the compost bin we empty out, to make our own compost :D Only one ended up in a flower bed, the other two are in the lawn area where we filled up holes the dogs dug.

 

I hope you have a great 2019 too! Time to pick up and get going again.

 

-------------------------------------------------------

And the boys and I are sick again. I took medicine and after sending Brandt off to work this morning, I got back in bed and slept another two hours. As I mentioned to TGP, this is the first day this week that we have actual sunshine, so I think rusks and coffee on the stoep sounds like the right thing to do.

 

We had an interesting discussion with one of Brandt's colleagues about immigrating. He and his wife don't have any kids, and would easily move around Africa. Maybe live 5 years here, 5 years there. He was also talking about Mauritius and other smaller islands or nations that are not the 'normal' places that people go to. Over the last two days Brandt and I spoke a bit more about it, but we came to the conclusion that the decisions that the other couple are prepared to make, is totally different than what our decisions would be, specifically because we have two kids, and animals, which we have to consider too. At this stage we have three places on the list: New Zealand, Texas, Canada. Wouldn't mind adding Mauritius to that list, but the cost of living is sky high, while the salaries outside of management level are very low. But I have to admit, the idea of living on an island is enticing.

Edited by elizevdmerwe
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3 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

New Zealand, Texas, Canada. Wouldn't mind adding Mauritius to that list, but the cost of living is sky high, while the salaries outside of management level are very low. But I have to admit, the idea of living on an island is enticing.

Texas has Galveston Island, Padre Island, and South Padre Island, just saying ;) 

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25 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Texas has Galveston Island, Padre Island, and South Padre Island, just saying ;) 

I'll definitely look it up :)

 

-------------------------------

My washing machine overflowed! I was lying on the bed, when Rosy started barking frantically. Got up and immediately saw and felt the water running over my toes deep, in our bedroom, the passage, the boys' bedroom, and the front room! Then I heard the washing machine making a funny noise. It was letting water in during the spin cycle. The boys helped without complaint and within an hour, and about 20 medium and small towels later, we had the parquette floors relatively dry again. Luckily I have a rubber broom with a squeegee like side, which I used to sweep a lot of the water out of the house with. I have the fan on now (moving from room to room), as it is so humid outside that things tend to stay clammy. Rocco's mattress is also wet, so he'll have to rough it tonight on the camping mattress. So I took this chance to clean all the floors anyway, as Thoko isn't coming in this week.

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15 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

At this stage we have three places on the list: New Zealand, Texas, Canada. Wouldn't mind adding Mauritius to that list, but the cost of living is sky high, while the salari

Wait, I  forgot to tell you about how wonderful Washington state is. The weather is mild, you can spend  lots of time outdoors, we don't have any poisonous bugs or reptiles, gorgeous mountains, lots of pretty water, and huge evergreen tree. And fun islands to visit! You could live on them too, but then you have to commute by ferry for work.

 

Sorry about the washing machine. Good dog Rosy for alerting you.

 

 

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3 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Wait, I  forgot to tell you about how wonderful Washington state is. The weather is mild, you can spend  lots of time outdoors, we don't have any poisonous bugs or reptiles, gorgeous mountains, lots of pretty water, and huge evergreen tree. And fun islands to visit! You could live on them too, but then you have to commute by ferry for work.

 

Sorry about the washing machine. Good dog Rosy for alerting you.

 

 

And Seattle is renowned for its coffee, isn't it? :D

Rosy got a lot of extra attention. She really is turning out to be such a bright little Maltese.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

A puzzling thing. When the water ran through the house yesterday, those parts of the wooden floors (actually some of the sides of the wooden bookcases as well) that weren't literally covered in water, turned white with a kind of mildew cover! I don't know whether it's from all the humidity or what, because Thoko washes and oils the floors every week. I found a lot of corners behind/under furniture and such that were thick with dust, so I cleaned that up as well. I was already on my knees drying the floors, might as well clean other surfaces while I'm down there. Brandt said he got a huge scare when he saw me after arriving home last night. I didn't look or feel very well. Everything except the things on my to do list, seems to be getting done lately. Now that I've got rid of some of the dust and mildew on the floors and other wood surfaces, our 'cold' (well sinus and post nasal drip) is suddenly a whole lot better. I'm still sitting with a closed chest and coughing, but both boys are fine.

 

Kitchen cleaned up already this morning, and Brandt even threw the compost on the heap! I'm busy with the last two loads of towels as well. He's gone to the office to get some work done, but might be home early afternoon.

 

We are really hoping our book parcel will arrive today. I'm not going out (to town) at all, and the weather has turned cold again after last night's storm.

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I've updated all the bank statements! From August to 20 December!

 

 

This weekend I'll compare slips/invoices, then file away. Then I'm done and up to date with finances until mid-January. Our bank works from 21st of a month, till 20th of the next month, which is frustrating because I always feel like I'm ending in the middle of things.

But for the rest of this Friday afternoon I'm going to watch the last of the Killjoy series 3's episodes.

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11 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Wait, I  forgot to tell you about how wonderful Washington state is. The weather is mild, you can spend  lots of time outdoors, we don't have any poisonous bugs or reptiles, gorgeous mountains, lots of pretty water, and huge evergreen tree. And fun islands to visit! You could live on them too, but then you have to commute by ferry for work.

 

Sorry about the washing machine. Good dog Rosy for alerting you.

 

 

I'd like to point out Texas gets way more sunshine, and we have Brisket and Breakfast Tacos ;) 

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