A Druid's Battle Log

[Jupiter]

On 8/23/2019 at 3:16 AM, Jean said:

I've discovered it only very recently but yoga is awesome! Hope it's helping you to relax.

 

Thanks, it is helping some.  

 

On 8/23/2019 at 11:14 AM, Kishi said:

Can confirm that yoga is awesome. Do you have a certain kind that you're doing right now, or is it catch as catch can?

 

More of the second. I alternate between a few DVDs and YouTube videos. 

 

***

 

Spoiler

Well, it's Monday. I can now confirm that the conversation I had with my bosses has flown over their heads and disappeared into the ether. My supervisor is back to the whole 'do more' routine and keeps giving me so much work that I would have to work 60 hour weeks (or more) to catch up and stay caught up. I mean, I expected us to be crazy busy, but...I don't know. I feel like I shouldn't have to continue to remind her about this. They both said it was okay if I didn't work as much overtime as the others so I could focus on my other priorities, and yet when push comes to shove, it doesn't really matter. I'm expected to do more anyway. I don't get these people. I don't know how to make them understand that this job isn't the only priority in my life. I don't know, I could just be misreading things. My supervisor is busy too and it's hard to remember everything about everyone all the time so she might have just forgotten. But I feel like I'm beating a dead horse with a stick at this point. 

 

Anyway, stats for today:

 

Fitness:

        - Yoga 20 minutes. 

 

Nutrition:

        - Only one good thing today: some grapes. Gotta admit, I'm a little disappointed that I've gained yet another pound. It's getting to the point where I don't even want to look at the scale anymore. 

 

Intellectual:

        - This chapter is making my brain hurt. I think my problem (one of them anyway) is that I'm trying to stuff too much information into this chapter. I need to break it up more and pick and choose which details are more important for this particular scene and what will most make the story move in the direction I want. 

[Jean]

Argh! Brace yourself and stay safe. It's probably a good thing to put your focus on other things than work at this point.

[Jupiter]

On 8/26/2019 at 9:35 PM, Jean said:

Argh! Brace yourself and stay safe. It's probably a good thing to put your focus on other things than work at this point.

 

Thanks! And yeah, agreed. 

 

***

So, I survived month end. Not gonna lie, it was kind of brutal. We have a certain amount of files we have to do each month to meet our quota, and I got through almost twice that amount, which was more than I'd estimated. I'd say I'm glad it's over, but I've heard our volume is going up even more this month. So I guess we'll see what happens. Anyway, after the craziness of month end all I did this weekend was binge watch old TV shows. It was pretty much all I had the energy for. And other than workouts, I pretty much let everything else slide last week. So now I have to start picking up the pieces all over again. I hate feeling like I'm constantly starting over, especially when work gets crazy. It's getting a little frustrating. But at least I kept up with doing yoga (except for the weekend, of course). And I managed to finish the second round of revisions on this chapter (well, more like another complete rewrite). Just need to go back through it again and clean it up a little, and try to cut some. I've already cut 5 pages, I just need to get it a little bit shorter. 

[Jean]

5 hours ago, Jupiter said:

I'd say I'm glad it's over, but I've heard our volume is going up even more this month.

 

 

 

Not gonna lie, I'm pretty amazed that you've managed to keep up with the workouts, and yoga, and the revisions! You seem to be doing mighty well in an environment designed to smash you into pieces, prioritizing things that are important to you. It's seriously amazing that you keep being able to perform despite the pressure, kuddos!

 

 

5 hours ago, Jupiter said:

I just need to get it a little bit shorter.

 

I'm pretty curious here, how do you decide what is the proper size? It doesn't sound like the content is dictating it (as in: I've put everything I wanted in it and it's telling the story I want). Are there standards you're following or do you play by ear?

[Jupiter]

20 hours ago, Jean said:

 

 

Not gonna lie, I'm pretty amazed that you've managed to keep up with the workouts, and yoga, and the revisions! You seem to be doing mighty well in an environment designed to smash you into pieces, prioritizing things that are important to you. It's seriously amazing that you keep being able to perform despite the pressure, kuddos!

 

Thanks!  I'm kind of surprised actually LOL. 

 

20 hours ago, Jean said:

I'm pretty curious here, how do you decide what is the proper size? It doesn't sound like the content is dictating it (as in: I've put everything I wanted in it and it's telling the story I want). Are there standards you're following or do you play by ear?

 

It's a bit of both. I'm doing it kind of by feel, but I'm also keeping my overall word count in mind. I want to tighten things and shorten it a little so the pacing doesn't feel off (and I want to make sure I only have what's essential, which doesn't always mean keeping what I like/want), but I also can't let the overall story get too long, because publishers will only publish up to a certain word count depending on the genre (I've planned a general word count range for all my chapters to try to help with this). So...trying to do what's best for the story while also keeping industry standards in mind.  

 

***

 

On to today's stats:

 

Fitness:

        - Yoga 25 minutes. 

 

Nutrition:

        - Healthy foods: Just my Greek yogurt today. 

 

Intellectual:

        - Starting on round three for this chapter. I'm aiming to get through 2 pages tonight, but we'll see how it goes. 

[Jupiter]

Spoiler

Well, another day down. Month end is over and I'm still slammed at work. I should have stayed, but instead I did my extra hour and a half and left. When I told my boss how much I still had left to do at the end of the day, she said to do more overtime so I can get caught up. So yeah, the conversation I had with her literally meant nothing. I give up at this point. I'm just going to keep my head down and do my own thing. 

 

Today's stats: 

 

Fitness:

        - Yoga 25 minutes. 

 

Nutrition:

        - Healthy foods: Did pretty good today. Had my Greek yogurt for breakfast and an apple, some rotisserie chicken and potato salad for lunch and an apple with dinner. 

 

Intellectual:

        - Got through the first two pages last night and I think I might have found a small plot hole. Trying to figure out my way around it. Hoping to get through another 2 pages today. 

[Jean]

1 hour ago, Jupiter said:

Well, another day down. Month end is over and I'm still slammed at work. I should have stayed, but instead I did my extra hour and a half and left. When I told my boss how much I still had left to do at the end of the day, she said to do more overtime so I can get caught up. So yeah, the conversation I had with her literally meant nothing. I give up at this point. I'm just going to keep my head down and do my own thing. 

 

Congrats on pripritizing your own life over your crazy boss's decisions. Doing an hour and a half extra is already a lot. Keep taking care.

[Jupiter]

Thanks, doing my best.

 

***

 

Today's stats: 

 

Fitness:

        - Yoga 15 minutes. I was exhausted after work today so I only did half of what I'd planned. But at least I did something. 

 

Nutrition:

        - Healthy foods: Meh, only one good thing today, my Greek yogurt. 

 

Intellectual:

        - I had an epiphany on this chapter earlier today and I realized exactly where I went wrong. This is a big chapter, info-wise, where some very important things are revealed, but one, I had too much of it and in the wrong place, and two, I wasn't framing it right. So now I think I've got it figured out. Had to fix a little bit of what I did yesterday, and got through another page today. 

 

 

 

[Jupiter]

It is finally the weekend, thank goodness. Though technically I have to work a little bit over the weekend, so maybe not so thankful. I'm starting to go a little stir crazy. I haven't done anything fun in ages and I want to do something, but I don't even know what at this point. Anyway, on to today's stats:

 

Fitness:

        - Yoga 25 minutes. 

 

Nutrition:

        - Healthy foods: Greek yogurt, and 2 apples. Not bad, all things considered. 

 

Intellectual:

        - I cut and rearranged more than I added today. A lot of it was just so clunky and repetitive, so I cut it all, even the flashback I really liked, because while it helped me figure out part of the story, it's not necessarily something the reader needs to see. It's something that should stay more in the background. So, that's gone too, and I made a few other changes. I like the chapter better already. 

[Jupiter]

Had to take my dog to the vet/groomers, among other things, and when I went to pick her up, one of their cats (they have a few cats/dogs who live at the vet's office) jumped up onto my lap while I was waiting and just snuggled with me. Totally made my day. 

 

Fitness:

        - Walked 40 minutes. Had to run a bunch of errands, so I tracked my steps instead of doing yoga. 

 

Nutrition:

        - Healthy foods: Meh, ran around all day, so I just ate whatever was available.  

 

Intellectual:

        - I cleaned a good chunk of my house (which was so needed) after all the errands so I won't get as much done on this chapter that I wanted to, but hoping to get through 2 pages at the very least. 

[Jean]

On 9/7/2019 at 6:14 AM, Jupiter said:

I'm starting to go a little stir crazy. I haven't done anything fun in ages and I want to do something, but I don't even know what at this point.

 

I know the feeling, it's a pretty dangerous one yet I don't know how to react on it either. I'm glad that you keep writing, it may help keeping you sane and give you options.

 

Do take care.

[Jupiter]

16 hours ago, Jean said:

 

I know the feeling, it's a pretty dangerous one yet I don't know how to react on it either. I'm glad that you keep writing, it may help keeping you sane and give you options.

 

Do take care.

 

Thanks, I really appreciate it. Writing definitely helps, for sure. 

 

***

 

So ants invaded my kitchen this weekend. I have no idea why. I went through and cleaned everything, and then I bought two kinds of bug spray, went out and sprayed all over outside. I haven't seen anything this afternoon, but they tend to like to invade in the mornings. I think if I have to wake up to more ants tomorrow morning, I'll cry. Between dealing with this and running around all weekend, I don't even know where the time went. 

 

Anyway, stats:

 

Fitness:

        - Walked 30 minutes. Tracked my steps while running errands again. I had planned to do yoga too, but I'm so exhausted that I may just skip it today. Of course, I was supposed to get in a few hours of work over the weekend too, but that ain't happening. 

 

Nutrition:

        - Healthy foods: Had chicken, rice, and fajita veggies from Chipotle. 

 

Intellectual:

        - Well, finished revising this chapter. I still need to go back through it again and clean it up a little bit, but otherwise, it is finally done. At least there's one bright spot this weekend. 

 

[Jupiter]

Well, looks like another week is gone (and no ants, thank goodness). It's been surprisingly quiet at work, at least compared to last month, which I'm grateful for, because I am burned out. I've been mostly focusing on my writing and getting this chapter ready for my class, and I think it went well. The author pointed out a few little things along with a logic problem that I'd completely missed, which was really helpful. I've also decided that the whole last half of the plot needs to be reworked. I crunched the numbers, roughly speaking, and this novel is going to be way longer than the standard, so it needs some work. Some things are fine, but others need to either be cut or changed/tightened up. So I've also been working on that. And when I'm not working on that I'm reading and studying what other authors are doing in their books.

 

So, day job aside, it's been a very busy week. I missed yoga yesterday, but otherwise I've been keeping up with that. Food logging, however, fell by the wayside. I know I've been eating a few healthy things here and there but I haven't been paying too much attention. Hoping to fix that starting today.

[Jupiter]

Fitness:

        - Walked 30 minutes. 

 

Nutrition:

        - Healthy foods: Ugh, still haven't been logging my food. Maybe I need to set a reminder for myself, since I seem to keep forgetting lately. I had planned to cook this weekend too but I can't even think about it right now. I'm so focused on this novel (revisions and fixing the plot), and now I'm doing research and planning for another one, which has taken up all my available brain space. I can at least work to be a little more choosy with my fast foods, which is something I suppose. 

 

Intellectual:

        - Almost done with this last go round on this chapter. I'm going back through and fixing things based on my class notes, and then I'm moving on. 

[Jean]

5 hours ago, Jupiter said:

Maybe I need to set a reminder for myself, since I seem to keep forgetting lately.

 

My take in these situations is that I'm not all that focused on food and be content with what I'm already doing. I mean, you could probably keep what you take in in better check and log it regularly, but then, your writing would suffer. Right now, prioritizing the writing looks like a good thing to do. I'd keep at it.

 

Take care and keep sane.

[Jupiter]

17 hours ago, Jean said:

My take in these situations is that I'm not all that focused on food and be content with what I'm already doing. I mean, you could probably keep what you take in in better check and log it regularly, but then, your writing would suffer. Right now, prioritizing the writing looks like a good thing to do. I'd keep at it.

 

Take care and keep sane.

 

Thanks.  My problem is that I'm a perfectionist and I feel like I should just be able to Do Everything. 

 

***

 

Fitness:

        - Yoga 25 minutes. 

 

Nutrition:

        - Healthy foods: Just what I had for lunch: chicken with rice and fajita veggies. But still, that's something. 

 

Intellectual:

        - Finished revising this chapter. Thought that would be the end of it but my brain wouldn't shut off last night and I barely slept at all. I kept going over word count calculations and how much space I had left for the plot (and how many words I could have for each chapter etc. (who knew writing involved so much math)) and trying to figure out how I was going to fit everything in...for the most part, it all sort of clicked in my head and I figured out how the rest of the story should go and what should go where (for the most part. I still have a couple of important details to sort out). The worry is, again, word counts. I think I'm still going to end up over the max allowed and if that happens I'm going to have to start cutting and I'm not sure what to cut. But I suppose that's a problem for another day. 

 

Anyway, as a result, today I was mostly a zombie, but I still managed to get a few things done. 

[ReturnOfTheDad]

Sorry to hear the work stuff is going so rough but sounds like the writing piece is coming along nicely!

[Jupiter]

 

On 9/16/2019 at 10:58 AM, ReturnOfTheDad said:

Sorry to hear the work stuff is going so rough but sounds like the writing piece is coming along nicely!

 

Thanks!  

 

***

 

Well, another week flew by. Managed to mostly keep up on workouts and I had a few healthy meals. I call that a win for this week. Work is still just as hectic as always, but I'm so burned out. I barely did any overtime at all this week, just focused on my novel. I found an issue with my plot, fixed it and I've started the next chapter. Hopefully I can finish rewriting it this weekend. If there's enough time after all that I want to work on a different project that I've been playing around with, but we'll see. 

 

 

[Jupiter]

Yesterday was pretty much a bust, but I got a lot done today. Here's the stats:

 

Fitness:

        - Yoga 25 minutes. 

 

Nutrition:

        - Healthy foods: managed to eat 2 healthy meals today. Basically a rice bowl with meat, veggies and rice. It's fast food, but it still counts. 

 

Intellectual:

        - I'm about halfway through rewriting this next chapter. I'm not sure if I like it yet, but we'll see. Also managed to work a little on the outline for another project that I want to start soon. 

[Jupiter]

Been a busy couple of days. Keeping up with pretty much everything, but I've run out of good food until I go to the store, so I'm scrounging for the next few days and eating whatever's available. But otherwise everything else seems to be about steady.

 

A very short venting session here, feel free to skip:

 

Spoiler

Gotta admit, I've been feeling/thinking pretty negatively about myself lately, especially in regards to my weight, my looks and my writing. I haven't lost any weight, my skin looks worse (I have bad acne, and I avoid looking in the mirror most days) and I'm having a lot of trouble with my novel as well as the outline for the other project (and lately I've been wondering if I'll ever make it as a writer). I just feel like I'm always trying and never actually getting to where I want to be, and I'm a little frustrated right now. And on top of that my boss wants to talk about my hours again, because we haven't already talked about it 3 times this year. The last time was last month. I honestly don't see what there is to talk about at this point. And I've barely been sleeping at all the last few weeks which has seriously been messing with me.  

 

Anyway, just had to get that off my chest. I think I may take a break from working this evening and read a book instead.  

[Jean]

1 hour ago, Jupiter said:

I think I may take a break from working this evening and read a book instead.  

 

I'm going to assume the "may" will turn into a "will" and wish you a relaxing, enjoyable break. You've got this figured out, give yourself some rest, get back your energy and thinking capabilities (you're good at thinking, so even at a low level, you're still doing plenty, which actually prevents a more full rest) and keep at it.

[Jupiter]

On ‎9‎/‎25‎/‎2019 at 8:56 PM, Jean said:

 

I'm going to assume the "may" will turn into a "will" and wish you a relaxing, enjoyable break. You've got this figured out, give yourself some rest, get back your energy and thinking capabilities (you're good at thinking, so even at a low level, you're still doing plenty, which actually prevents a more full rest) and keep at it.

 

It did in fact. :) I read for a little bit and gave my brain a break. And thank you, I appreciate it. :)

 

***

 

Only have a few minutes, so just a quick update: I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night, but I did rest my brain and read, which always seems to make everything better. Anyway, did my yoga workout and I started revising chapter 15. I also thought of a few ideas to make other parts of the story better. So, progress.

 

 

[Jupiter]

Another week is gone. Not much to report. Everything pretty much fell apart and now I'm putting it all back together again. The interesting thing I've noticed is that things tend to fall apart when the writing doesn't go well. Need to figure out how to fix that. 

[Jean]

"Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And Stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;"

(Kipling, If)

 

Looks like you're following the script. It's a tough one and it takes a great (wo)man to build things back up when they get destroyed.

 

When the direct approach dosen't work, I like beating around the bush until something shows up. Do you know what kind of circumstances make your writing go well? If not maybe try out potential candidates until it works (music, hot cup of tea, letting the outside air in especially on windy days, going out for a walk before taking the pen, ...)?

 

 

[Jupiter]

On 10/5/2019 at 7:48 PM, Jean said:

When the direct approach dosen't work, I like beating around the bush until something shows up. Do you know what kind of circumstances make your writing go well? If not maybe try out potential candidates until it works (music, hot cup of tea, letting the outside air in especially on windy days, going out for a walk before taking the pen, ...)?

 

Well, different methods work until they don't, so I have to switch it up every once in a while. I did try some music today and that seemed to help. I ended up working for around 3 hours and got more done than I thought I would. I think a big part of my problem is that I've been feeling a little insecure/not very confident about my writing the last few weeks and it's been stalling my creativity. These thoughts just suddenly hit me, like, "What if I can't finish this novel?" and "What if I did all this work and it was for nothing?" and "What if I did it all wrong and I have to start over again?" It kind of paralyzed me. I've been trying to work through it but it's hard for sure. 

 

***

 

Anyway, I'm sort of getting back to a normal routine. I missed yoga yesterday and today, but I got in a walk today instead, and I did yoga Monday through Wednesday, so I'll count that as a win. I even had some vegetables at 3 meals this week (fast food veggies, but veggies nonetheless). Writing is still a little spotty, but I got in some good work on this chapter today and I'm feeling pretty good about it overall. So, not a bad week.