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shaar

» shaar reawakens - a prologue

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2 hours ago, Salinger said:

WEEK 1 ? eek that caught me by surprise! 

 

Wow your writing is so so engaging Shaar, i loved it, truly!

 

Glad your dark days are getting less and less. Keep being amazing :) xx

 

Caught me by surprise, too! EEEEEK

 

Oh thank, I'm glad to hear that, sometimes it feels like when I write it just kinda clunks out yanno

 

2 hours ago, ShadowSilk said:

This, too, shall pass.

This, even this, shall pass.

For all things must pass away.

Even the leaves,

the stream,

the clouds,

even the mountains move over

millennia.

 

So.

Lay down your burden

rest

 

"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well."  ~ Blessed Julian of Norwich

 

I read this this morning and my little heart had a nice stillness.  Thank you. <3

 

( And by stillness I mean calm and not that it like stopped working or anything yike )

 

1 hour ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

 

tenor.gif?itemid=6045594

 

I laughed way too hard at this and will now shout WHOOPITY DOO anytime I use this skill................

 

1 hour ago, Rinna said:

 

 

But I mean where is the lie, IT ALL MAKES SENSE, the ol' diversion tactics!!!

 

1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I'm glad you sailed through the doubt and out the other side.

All Hail the Battle Bard!

giphy.gif

 

RUNNING AND YELLING AAAAAAAAAAAA

 

 

Guys I have a proud ok!!!!!!!

 

Today I was gonna go walk!  It's 30 and heckin' cold out but WHATEVER I put on all my shit and --

 

Wait what's this

 

IT SNOW????

 

It was snowing (I took an instagram video where I swore at it) and I was like FRICK THIS I AM ANGERY and am also not equipped to walk in inclement conditions (Ex-Southern Ranger needs warmer outdoor clothes, film at 11)  So I grumbled around a little for about 15 minutes and the snow stopped and I was like HECK IT I'M GOING.  So I went to the park and walked 1.4 miles and it was BEAUTIFUL. ^____________^ (also instagrammed~)

 

I was a little chilly but oddly enough I'm finding that I enjoy being outside in the cold............ oddly.................... enough..................... huh.  Anyways I had a great walk and people were v. friendly and said hi when we passed and I got into the woods and it was great.  There are a lot of trails at the little park down the road and I want to visit them all!!  EXPLORE ALL THE TRAILS.  Next time when it's a little warmer I'll bring a pack with some snacks and water and take my time climbing trees and shit.  But until then~

 

I'm glad that I bypassed the little voice that said "oh just stay inside" and got out there.  Huge mood booster and I do some of my best Thinkin' About Life when I'm outside so I had a good ol' thinkles and also got my 30 minutes of good movement in so WIN/WIN!!

 

6d8d940633e1d18107493b3d7888b91e.gif

 

The Walk to Mordor is really motivating too, I don't think I would have gotten out if chalking up my mileage wasn't a thing!! ^_____^

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Well done. To be fair, your swear-at-the-weather post was hilarious, so some good came of the temptation lol.

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21 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Good job getting outside. I saw those pics you mentioned, that stairway is incredible.

 

There are so many cool little old relics like that around here; there's a really old amphitheater behind it with weird stone carvings, I should have taken a photo but there were other people there...

 

4 hours ago, Urgan said:

Well done. To be fair, your swear-at-the-weather post was hilarious, so some good came of the temptation lol.

 

I couldn't not take a video of that EGREGIOUS BULLSHIT ;_;

 

4 hours ago, Salinger said:

Well bloody done Shaar, this shows you can do anything you put your mind to... x

 

Sometimes... sometimes!  Most of the time it works, so I'll take it!! ^________^

 

w e e k 1

 

Welp guys you don't really know how far you've fallen off the wagon until you go to buy some new work/interview clothes and everything you try on makes you look like a chubby little raccoon and you almost have a meltdown in the mall parking lot in 20 degree ass-freezing weather but then you go to Old Navy and find some cute perfect stuff on sale--

 

Phew tho', yeah.  My wagon has gone down the hill and around the bend, I think.  I don't think I've been this out of shape in about 3 years now... p h e w.  On the plus side, I know what I have to do when the time comes!! ^____^  Right now employment takes priority and I'll fit in whatever I can around it.  Drinking less is going to help LOADS too.  My nutrition really isn't terrible - I don't eat a lot of sweets or bread or like, lots of pizza or bad for me foods.  I'm just real sedentary lately and the drinking does not help.

 

I had a beer on Saturday night and a few vodka drinks last night, and that's it until next weekend!  I'm not really having a hard time not drinking during the week.  I think I just needed to realize it.... "hey, don't do this", be mindful of it.  Also helping is my stress level not being NEARLY what it was in 2018, and thankfully that year's out of here DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT'CHA WHERE THE GOOD LORT SPLIT'CHA :V

 

giphy.gif

 

ANYWAYS

 

Due to Ranger Peer Pressure here's a typical Shaar Music Shuffle straight from the ol' Spotify Best of 2018 Playlist (aka here's what popped up while I was making this post and messaging people), complete with YouTube links!:

 

Chelsea Wolfe - Feral Love

we press for the water / press for the river / press for the rain

 

lynch. - Devil

you see i know i can do this on my own / saa kono yono owari ni hi wo tomose

( if anime shaar had a theme song this would probably be it )

 

Zola Jesus - Exhumed

in the static / you are reborn

 

Sir Sly - &Run

heavy as the setting sun / oh i'm counting all the numbers between zero and one

happy but a little lost / well i don't know what i don't know, so i kick my shoes off and run

( this is one of my favorite songs ever! )

 

Matt Lange - Bleed Together

can you cut yourself in symmetry / birds of a feather bleed together

 

The Birthday Massacre - One

crystal is clear / closer than near / as we climb jacob's ladder

(i love this band SO MUCH)

 

THAT WAS FUN~  I love music a hecka lot y'all.

 

Okokok time for me to check in on everyone before I go make dinner and get myself ready for my interview bright and early tomorrow morning GOOD LUCK SHAAR YOU CAN DO IT I BELIEVE IN YOU (also my reward for all this bullshit is that there is a trader joe's 6 miles away from this place and YOU BETTER BELIEVE I'M HITTING THAT SUCKER UP AFTERWARDS it has been too long joe, too long~)

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1 hour ago, shaar said:

DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT'CHA WHERE THE GOOD LORT SPLIT'CHA

 

Love love love this.

 

Good luck!

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Hopefully Good things Have (are) happening!

 

Btw- did you say you had pics of last weekend's adventures?  I know Here in PA; Sat was beautiful!

 

the Winter is gathering to my west though' .... they call calling for low single digits (*F!) by the end of the weekday.

yuck.

hopefully your weather is more encouraging than mine (alternately, you might just have a better attitude about it)

 

 

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22 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

CONQUER THE INTERVIEW, SEE IT DRIVEN BEFORE YOU AND HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THE HR REPRESENTATIVES!!!!!!!!!

 

22 hours ago, Salinger said:

Will be thinking of you for sure :) 

 

20 hours ago, Rinna said:

 

Love love love this.

 

Good luck!

 

3 hours ago, ShadowSilk said:

You got this, dolly!

 

THANK YOU EVERYONE SO MUCH ^___________________^

 

3 hours ago, Urgan said:

giphy.gif

 

I SO wanted to do this at 6:45am in 20 degree weather with a layer of snow on my car..........

 

2 hours ago, TGP said:

Hopefully Good things Have (are) happening!

 

Btw- did you say you had pics of last weekend's adventures?  I know Here in PA; Sat was beautiful!

 

the Winter is gathering to my west though' .... they call calling for low single digits (*F!) by the end of the weekday.

yuck.

hopefully your weather is more encouraging than mine (alternately, you might just have a better attitude about it)

 

 

 

Yes yes!

 

 

We are absolutely getting some single digit nights here this week, Wednesday and Thursday.... the only time I really mind it is when the WIND BLOWS.  It seriously cuts right through you to the bone, brrrrrr~~

 

 

 

HI GUYS I DID A THING my lordy I didn't sleep the best (big surprise) and got up at 6:45 to find it brutishly cold and a nice layer of snow on my car... I whined a little bit and stressed out, "I don't want to do this I'm so tired of doing so much," blah blah blah, but then Fury showed up and says "who the fuck wants to do this shaar NO ONE now 5 more minutes of whining before you GET THE FUCK OUT THERE AND GET SHIT DONE" and so I did.  The interview went stellar, I'll hear back sometime soon, and I'd be lucky to have a position there..... :)

 

Phew okokok time for video games I am WIPED MORE LATER!~

 

 

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2 hours ago, shaar said:

I'll hear back sometime soon

 

Waiting is definitely the hardest part.  I'm waiting on a possible happy job thing too, and I have to wait two more weeks and its KILLING ME.

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8 hours ago, shaar said:

HI GUYS I DID A THING my lordy I didn't sleep the best (big surprise) and got up at 6:45 to find it brutishly cold and a nice layer of snow on my car...

 

f244a68e5f892dec8a28259e31b576931cda6446

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17 hours ago, Cheetah said:

 

Waiting is definitely the hardest part.  I'm waiting on a possible happy job thing too, and I have to wait two more weeks and its KILLING ME.

 

tumblr_inline_oy58npz5lE1tvyhwt_540-vuip

 

17 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Well done on that interview. I know you killed it.

 

Thank you!  I barded hard!!!!

 

11 hours ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

 

f244a68e5f892dec8a28259e31b576931cda6446

 

uggghhhh

 

UGGGHHHHH 

 

*sings Melody of Increased Cold Resist*

 

6 hours ago, Salinger said:

Wow those photos are AMAZING. SO gorgeous. 

 

And congrats on killing the interview. Ive got everything crossed for you xx

 

Thank you!  Right down the street from my house, I should get there more often when it warms up!!

 

6 hours ago, Echoceanic said:

Congrats on the interview and the Fury interference. It's kinda fun when your own brain gets tired of you. :D 

 

 

 

For real, my brain had HAD ENOUGH of my shit, ahaha XD

 

 

w e e k 1

 

Okokok

OK!!!!!!!

 

What is today Wednesday I THINK ahahaha??

 

giphy.gif

 

Man it's been such a chaos week I can't remember what I've updated on, outside of interview!

 

After the interview I went to my FAVORITE PLACE - TRADER JOE'S - I can't remember if I told y'all about that and I'm too dingdang lazy to scroll back and find out but I WENT, there is no TJ's close to where I live now and I haven't been since the move in August so I WAS V EXCITED. <33333 I bought all of my old favorites including: - Wine Country Chicken Salad - microwave Guilt Free Mac & Cheese (tastes better than the regular one IMO) - Parsnip Chips - my favorite Ginger/Turmeric Tea - Gorgonzola Crackers - Frozen Mandarin Chicken - SINGLE SERVE GUACAMOLE PACKETS!!!! - Cashew Butter - fresh Lasagna that I'm going to cook up for dinner tonight - and more!!!  GOSH i am hashbrown blessed. ^_________________^

 

So now I sit and wait to see what happens.  That's ok! 

 

This week is going to be pretty cold on the ol' mountain, nighttime temps dropping into the single digits and daytime temps in the 20s and windy, so nixing any outdoorsing for now... :( After these updates I'm going to go get my 30 minutes of intentional movement in with some yoga and bodyweight squats and mobility.  My knees have been acting up a little lately so I need to work on that!

 

No drinks since Sunday night and I'M REALLY PROUD. ^_______^  Evening is usually my drinking time but I've been supplementing with tea and seltzer instead~

 

I'm also going to do a vlog that isn't like my normal vlogs.  I BET YOU CAN'T GUESS WHAT IT IS (actually you probably can based on my stupid hobbies)

 

*cackles in bard*

 

source.gif

 

 

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Clint -- Ranger
'Tasha -- Assassin/Rogue
Vision -- Mage

Cap -- Paladin

Thor -- Warrior

Hulk -- Barbarian

Falcon -- Dual class light fighter/cleric

SW -- Mage

TONY IS THEIR BARD OMG

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I have never seen any of these movies EVER but I will totally go by your reasoning IT MAKES SENSE LET TONY SING

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59 minutes ago, shaar said:

After the interview I went to my FAVORITE PLACE - TRADER JOE'S - I can't remember if I told y'all about that and I'm too dingdang lazy to scroll back and find out but I WENT, there is no TJ's close to where I live now and I haven't been since the move in August so I WAS V EXCITED. <33333 I bought all of my old favorites including: - Wine Country Chicken Salad - microwave Guilt Free Mac & Cheese (tastes better than the regular one IMO) - Parsnip Chips - my favorite Ginger/Turmeric Tea - Gorgonzola Crackers - Frozen Mandarin Chicken - SINGLE SERVE GUACAMOLE PACKETS!!!! - Cashew Butter - fresh Lasagna that I'm going to cook up for dinner tonight - and more!!!  GOSH i am hashbrown blessed. ^_________________^

 

And all for like $32.80.

 

1 hour ago, shaar said:

This week is going to be pretty cold on the ol' mountain, nighttime temps dropping into the single digits and daytime temps in the 20s and windy, so nixing any outdoorsing for now... :( After these updates I'm going to go get my 30 minutes of intentional movement in with some yoga and bodyweight squats and mobility.  My knees have been acting up a little lately so I need to work on that!

 

Sounds like the rule is drop 10 degrees per state as you go north....temperatures aren't doing happy things tonight here, either. YAY FREEZING TIME IS NOW.

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Duddddeeeeee!!!! Your narrative is GORGEOUS! I am like completely obsessed with you right now XD For real though your writing is amazing. It's cool you had a creative outlet for having an off/dark moment too, did it help writing all that out at all? It seems like it might be pretty cathartic.

 

Yay for your interview!!!! So many good things. Also Trader Joes <3 Yes.

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