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[Sylvaa] In My Head


Sylvaa

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Updating is HARD right now.

 

I'm alive, and actually very well. Just - shark week and adjusting to a new normal made me dig my head in the sand and not be online at all. Which is fine. 

 

I have not gotten to the gym like at all this week (since last Wednesday!). Which tanks my mood (and not in the good Tank way). Luckily, I am back on the road (which means a more normal schedule) and ready to hit the gym tonight. I am also retaining water like a crazy woman (seriously, 3 lbs does not show up in 36 hours, nor do clothes not fit correctly that quickly). So I am currently drinking ALL THE WATER!

 

Everyone is home from the hospital. They got discharged Thursday night with the promise of keeping a doctor's appointment Saturday. While I am very thankful that the hospital is concerned for a teenage mother, it has also been kind of annoying. I keep reminding myself that not everyone has a support system like my daughter does. Baby P had a high bilirubin reading on Saturday, so we had to go for some more blood work to see how he was looking, but even that came back more normal than anticipated. He's still looking a bit jaundiced as of last night, but it's slowly fading. He's got another follow-up today, so hopefully all will be well.

 

My step-daughter has decided she also wants to do cyber school, so we are starting the paperwork for her. She's going to trial for the rest of this year and then reevaluate for the fall. I am definitely okay with this as I feel that her friends have a huge impact on this whole anxiety thing. Like, of course, all of them have been diagnosed with anxiety, so of course everything she does is a sign of anxiety. And then they get worked up and get her all worked up and then it's so much worse. For example, this weekend, she broke up with her boyfriend. It was a good decision to make. She had already decided that it would happen by the end of the year (he's a senior and she is a sophomore, so this is the last year they would be in school together anyway), but he is more into her than she was into him, so she decided to break it off earlier. Her friends started making her all upset over it. Finally, we just told her to ignore their calls / messages until she got more calm. 

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4 minutes ago, Sylvaa said:

Finally, we just told her to ignore their calls / messages until she got more calm. 

I'm glad she listened to you! I've had to remove devices from my daughter's possession to make this happen at times. It seems so hard for them to not be looking for or answering messages all the time.

 

Glad everyone is home from the hospital! You've had quite the busy few weeks!

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3 minutes ago, jstanlick said:

I'm glad she listened to you! I've had to remove devices from my daughter's possession to make this happen at times. It seems so hard for them to not be looking for or answering messages all the time.

 

Yeah, I've read some articles about this too. How, particularly for girls, their self-worth gets linked to the quickness of responses / likes / etc... It's so scary, because it is hard enough being a teenage girl (note: I'm sure it's not that easy to be a teenage boy, but my experience isn't in that area)! To be fair, she doesn't always. But we've been working really hard on explaining why we say what we do and how it might impact how she feels. We've had some success recently, so I think it was easier to convince her.

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I'm glad everyone is home. Did they do the blue light special for the baby to treat the hyperbiliruben? The first time I saw that in a hospital room I felt like I was in an episode of Star Trek.

 

I think getting step-daughter away from the friends is probably going to have the beneficial effect you are expecting.

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5 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

adjusting to a new normal made me dig my head in the sand and not be online at all.

 

Same here, sister.

 

5 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

and not in the good Tank way

 

This made me LOL.

 

5 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

Everyone is home from the hospital.

 

That's good news! I remember how scary it was with both of our daughters every time something went wrong because they just can't tell you what's hurting or what feels bad. I hope all goes well and everyone feels better soon.

 

6 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

I keep reminding myself that not everyone has a support system like my daughter does.

 

She is very blessed.

 

6 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

I feel that her friends have a huge impact on this whole anxiety thing.

 

See, this brings up something that bothers me. I recognize that there are people with true anxiety disorders, but among the young it seems trendy now to "have" anxiety. I don't mean to downplay someone with a real disorder, but I've had far too many students who were perfectly fine until they spend time with someone who has or says they have anxiety, and then soon everything seems to be making this student anxious, as well. Or worse, they start missing school, and then I hear from their parents that their child has severe anxiety and hasn't been able to come to school. And I'm thinking, But your daughter/son has been fine until now. Did something happen? And rarely did something happen, but usually I can trace it back to who their friends are. Of course there are exceptions, and I have had students with very real anxiety disorders and have unfortunately lost a few to suicide or hospitalization... which is why the "fake" anxiety bothers me so much... I know this isn't the case with your daughter, but as you said hers is exacerbated by her friends... who may or may not have real anxiety problems of their own...

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13 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Did they do the blue light special for the baby to treat the hyperbiliruben? The first time I saw that in a hospital room I felt like I was in an episode of Star Trek.

 

They did not. It hasn't been super high, just high enough to be noticeable. We did almost have to get a bili-blanket for at home treatment (which I thought was a super cool thing - I'm all about cost savings with hospitals), but the doctor feels he's on the upswing.

 

13 hours ago, Wolfen said:

Of course there are exceptions, and I have had students with very real anxiety disorders and have unfortunately lost a few to suicide or hospitalization... which is why the "fake" anxiety bothers me so much... I know this isn't the case with your daughter, but as you said hers is exacerbated by her friends... who may or may not have real anxiety problems of their own...

 

No, I totally get this. I feel like anxiety has become the new "fad diagnosis" these days. We saw it when we were younger with ADHD and then when my children were younger with autism and Asperger's. And it potentially takes resources away from people who truly need them when we are treating everyone. So frustrating. 

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I remember when it was simply hyperactive or more commonly “that kid’s a spaz”.

My personal theory is that the big increase is because kids went from creating their entertainment to strictly consuming their entertainment, especially entertainment that is largely stimulus/ react.

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Can someone poke me on FB later tonight and make me post at least a PM picture showing I got my workout in?

 

So I've decided I am ready to get off the road. I'm sure at least someone would question whether this is a rash decision based on the baby and truthfully I welcome that kind of push back, because it helps me make sure I'm making the correct decision. But truthfully, it's been on my mind for a long time now. See, I started traveling because it took two local jobs to support my family and I felt it was a trade off based on how much (or little) I was seeing them. As the kids get older and are getting ready to get out on their own (or go to college), there isn't the pressing need for quite the same amount of income as there was. I'm still potentially looking at a two job situation. But my goal is to have them be more flexible together allowing for more time with the family while not totally killing our current budget. At the very least, I'll be able to sleep in my own bed nightly. 

 

I've also been slacking on the workout front. I've been cold for like the past three weeks and have been having issues with momentum to get off the couch and do anything. I don't do cold well. I'm going to do it now (promise!.... maybe), but I'm only getting in like two a week. The good news is that I've also been getting in a yoga session because I feel like I have to do something another day. The bad news is that isn't enough to help with my goals. 

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1 hour ago, Sylvaa said:

So I've decided I am ready to get off the road. I'm sure at least someone would question whether this is a rash decision based on the baby and truthfully I welcome that kind of push back, because it helps me make sure I'm making the correct decision.

I've been waiting for you to come to that conclusion for a while know. I do think the baby is the impetus for the decision, but I do not think it in any way rash.

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Nothing rash about it! You've been thinking about it for a while and it causes so many challenges. 

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On 1/29/2019 at 5:32 AM, Sylvaa said:

Can someone poke me on FB later tonight

Not on Facebook, but I can poke you here.  Did you get your workout in?

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33 minutes ago, WhiteGhost said:

Not on Facebook, but I can poke you here.  Did you get your workout in?

 

I did! Thanks NTB for the call out. I also made it to the gym last night, which was kind of crappy (the workout, not the gym or going to the gym). But it's done now. 

 

I bought new shoes this weekend and I am loving them. I bought a pair of Topo's, which I had never heard of. I went to a local running store and it was a nice experience. The guy was knowledgeable enough to be helpful while not being haughty. The shoes are (so far) a really good investment. I was having some leg pain with some of my runs that I think was directly related to the old age of my shoes. If the weather breaks this weekend, I'll do an outdoor run to verify, but at least indoors, the shoes have made a big difference.

 

I went out to dinner by myself last night. No big deal, I usually do on gym nights as it takes me a while to finish the workout. I sit at the bar, as I normally do, because I don't prefer to sit at like a booth by myself. I've got a complaint. Does anyone else get mad when strangers hit on them because you (the person being hit on) don't find them attractive? Like, if you are going to waste my time, at least have the decency to be someone I like to look at. 

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6 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

Does anyone else get mad when strangers hit on them because you (the person being hit on) don't find them attractive? Like, if you are going to waste my time, at least have the decency to be someone I like to look at. 

 

No, I always at least applaud their fantastic taste :)

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On 1/31/2019 at 6:06 AM, Sylvaa said:

 

 I also made it to the gym last night, which was kind of crappy (the workout, not the gym or going to the gym). But it's done now. 

 

Crappy workout > no workout

 

I often have to remind myself of that particular inequality. 

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Speaking of hard workouts, the one today is also going to suck. 

 

Except, it is snowing, so I'm not sure if we will even leave the house. I'm tired of the cold already and it's really only been about a week!

 

My step-daughter started cyber school this week and really likes it. I'm not really surprised, but still happy. My bank card got compromised at some point in the past few weeks, but the bank reimbursed me for the funds taken out. To the tune of $3.50! Go me! (Only I could get my card stolen for $3.50 in purchases). 

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5 minutes ago, Sylvaa said:

I'm tired of the cold already and it's really only been about a week!

Being stuck inside is no fun at all. We're finally crawling out of the sub zero temps in the Midwest, so hopefully you'll get some better weather sometime this weekend.

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1 minute ago, jstanlick said:

Being stuck inside is no fun at all. We're finally crawling out of the sub zero temps in the Midwest, so hopefully you'll get some better weather sometime this weekend.

 

Yes, apparently Monday, it is going to be in the 50s. Hopefully that will stay true. 

 

Side note: it's super frustrating getting hit with the same weather twice. If it hits KY on Wednesday / Thursday, I get it at home Friday / Saturday. 

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2 minutes ago, Sylvaa said:

Side note: it's super frustrating getting hit with the same weather twice. If it hits KY on Wednesday / Thursday, I get it at home Friday / Saturday.

Sounds like another good reason to end the travel. Or, at least a bonus for ending it. :D 

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"You can't climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets." - Arnold Schwarzenegger

"The important thing is not to think much but to love much; and so do that which best stirs you to love." - St. Teresa of Avila

Current Challenge: Seeks Balance | Battle Log: Ye Olde Battle Logge | NF Character: Public Profile | Strava 

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