[iatetheyeti] Battlemage Vol. I: Beginnings

[iatetheyeti]

It turns out that taking a short break at work to cry in the expenses cupboard is not actually frowned upon, although I do wish I didn't know this.

 

Rise: 0400

Morning routine: No, locker toothpaste got used again

Inactive hours: Many

Illness/injury: I'm definitely coming down with something if the sore throat and bouts of nausea are anything to go by. Yay...

Evening routine: Early

Bed: 2000

 

Everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong in what has been another truly delightful Monday. I got woken from what I believe would have otherwise been a restful sleep by my parents trying to drag me into more family drama (fortunately phones have this wonderful silent option that ensure it only happened once), I had to wait for the bus in a cloud of cigarette smoke, and then at work the delivery didn't come in, which leads on to about a thousand other problems. And at this point I'm basically trying to pour from an empty cup. I don't know if it's the sudden and unexpected progress towards getting professional help that has uncovered the sheer depth of exhaustion I'm feeling (it's very likely going on past happenings), but I am in a whole new stage of struggling. Hence the crying breaks at work. I'm trying to focus on getting through these next two days intact. After that there's been a rota change in my favour, I get three whole days off. In a row. And I need them.

 

Positives today? The sun came out for a good long time and I saw the fluffiest crow whilst on the bus home (adult crow, but weirdly super fluffy).

[Mr_Willes]

Good to see you still posting here, sorry to hear you are still in a bad space.

 

It was good to hear i will see you again next year!

[WolfDreamer]

On 12/31/2018 at 3:37 AM, iatetheyeti said:

• A half hour 5km. I think my current PR there is somewhere around 40-45 minutes.

• An hour 10km time. I don’t have a PR for this, and I don’t know if my aim is reasonable, but I’m aiming for it anyway.

 

These are some solid running goals. If you keep working at it, you'll get there. I was also at about a 40 minute 5k a few years ago. If I run on road, I can get about a 27-28 minute 5k. I run trails so much now, though, that I'm not sure what my "actual" 5k pace is. Same with 10k. I'd love to get down to an hour, but most of the time if I'm running that distance it's on a hilly trail somewhere.

[Mortimer]

Urgh family drama is always >< Wonder if you could yell at the delivery guys, that usually helps relieve some of the stress they cause. And this sort of thing comes in phases. I had a bad phase during college where I'd hide in the library and cry. And not go home till late so my parents wouldn't spot the signs of me crying.

 

Occasionally I get moody - when my PBF gets too high. It's like, you've got one task, that is to get in shape(aesthetic). Shouldn't be that hard,  should it? Or maybe not. Gah.

 

I hope that the next 2 days are less stressful so you can look forward to your 3 days off.

 

There was once I spotted a little birdie near my office, it was fluffeh! I called wild life rescue and they said they were short handed, so I ended up popping it up on the nearest tree branch after scooping it off the safety barrier. I think your crow might be just reaching adulthood since it's the fledglings that are the fluffiest.

[iatetheyeti]

On 8/14/2019 at 7:59 AM, Mr_Willes said:

Good to see you still posting here, sorry to hear you are still in a bad space.

 

It was good to hear i will see you again next year!

 

Yeah, I'm still hanging around, just keeping to the quieter parts of the place because I am very easily overwhelmed at the moment...

 

Heh, I wasn't going to miss you coming across here  

 

 

On 8/14/2019 at 2:32 PM, WolfDreamer said:

 

These are some solid running goals. If you keep working at it, you'll get there. I was also at about a 40 minute 5k a few years ago. If I run on road, I can get about a 27-28 minute 5k. I run trails so much now, though, that I'm not sure what my "actual" 5k pace is. Same with 10k. I'd love to get down to an hour, but most of the time if I'm running that distance it's on a hilly trail somewhere.

 

Admittedly it might be a while off, but I'd like to think that maybe one day I will get there. Most of running has been done on roads purely because that's the environment I live in now, trails require a lot of travelling to access, sadly. 

 

 

On 8/14/2019 at 4:16 PM, Mortimer said:

Urgh family drama is always >< Wonder if you could yell at the delivery guys, that usually helps relieve some of the stress they cause. And this sort of thing comes in phases. I had a bad phase during college where I'd hide in the library and cry. And not go home till late so my parents wouldn't spot the signs of me crying.

 

Occasionally I get moody - when my PBF gets too high. It's like, you've got one task, that is to get in shape(aesthetic). Shouldn't be that hard,  should it? Or maybe not. Gah.

 

I hope that the next 2 days are less stressful so you can look forward to your 3 days off.

 

There was once I spotted a little birdie near my office, it was fluffeh! I called wild life rescue and they said they were short handed, so I ended up popping it up on the nearest tree branch after scooping it off the safety barrier. I think your crow might be just reaching adulthood since it's the fledglings that are the fluffiest.

 

 

It turns out it wasn't the delivery guys at fault, it was my manager. She didn't put the order in and didn't tell anyone else that it needed to be done. Tried to blame it on me, but I wasn't having any of that. Weirdly enough that little confrontation made me feel a little better. I got some of the anger and frustration out onto a target that actually deserved it, and that made things marginally easier to deal with. Enough that I managed to get through the next couple of days without incident, anyway.

 

That is a wonderfully fluffy little birdie. I think you're likely right about mine being a fledgling, but then I'd have to say it was a raven rather than a crow due to the sheer size of it. I didn't get close so I could be wrong, but we've got a healthy mix of both around here so it's likely.

 

[Mortimer]

Yeah its good to stand up for yourself. Sometimes I think my life has also been putting what others think over my own needs and lately I've been trying to put my foot down on that. Look,  I'll get what you want done, but let me choose a time or place, ok?  I find that anger is sort of the opposite of depression and that suppressing your anger too often leads to your life being without energy since it is also a driving force.

 

I can't tell the difference between a raven and a crow so...yeah I wouldn't be any help lol.

 

I guess I can be a bit of a snob, but I don't do trail running - only did it once. One of the people in my local running group tripped and fell while doing trail running. Trail running is trickier and you need to be very on the ball to negotiate the flattest path on the trail lest you twist your ankle or something, or at least it felt like that to me the last time I did it(was trying to get prepared in case the AIA glow run required trail running).

[iatetheyeti]

4 hours ago, Mortimer said:

I guess I can be a bit of a snob, but I don't do trail running - only did it once. One of the people in my local running group tripped and fell while doing trail running. Trail running is trickier and you need to be very on the ball to negotiate the flattest path on the trail lest you twist your ankle or something, or at least it felt like that to me the last time I did it(was trying to get prepared in case the AIA glow run required trail running).

 

No question about it, trail running is definitely trickier (and I have had many incidents where I've ended up on the ground or in some prickly vegetation because I have no trail running technique whatsoever), but I'll take it over road running any day. Being on a natural trail always makes me far happier than being on a paved surface, no matter the increased injury risk. Forest trails in particular are my happy place, doesn't matter whether I'm walking, running, or biking. 

[iatetheyeti]

Unlike yesterday, today was a properly lazy day with a decent amount of productivity. I even remembered to water my plants. I also managed to throw a spider across my bedroom, but in my defence it should not have scared the life out of me by crawling on my hand. No idea where it scurried off to, but I hope it doesn't come back...

 

Rise: No clue, sometime before midday

Morning routine: Yes

Inactive hours: Hard to tell, things have been varied today

Illness/injury: Actually doing quite well today, for a change

Evening routine: Late

Bed: Very late, laptop decided to undergo a massive update that took a handful of hours

 

I'm quite pleased with how today turned out, especially in comparison to the nightmare that was yesterday. Got plenty of housework done, spent some much needed time on self care, and lounged about in a properly lazy fashion, disregarding the concept of time entirely. And I'm exhausted. Funny how that works out, really. My plan for tomorrow is much the same, though maybe with a little more dish washing than today.

[iatetheyeti]

Sometimes you just need to put on your 'in case of emergency' playlist and trust in a bit of art therapy.

 

Rise: Unsure, before midday

Morning routine: It was afternoon by the time I remembered

Inactive hours: A fair few

Illness/injury: Headache and arthritis playing up, but humidity is creeping up again so that's probably it

Evening routine: On time, possibly

Bed: Unsure, before midnight

 

Not had the greatest day, mentally speaking, though the playlist and a bit of mindless colouring has helped lift me out into a sort of functionality. I know what set things off though, so that's something. I'm just glad it happened during a time where I didn't have to be around other people or be anywhere other than home. The playlist works fantastically, I've spent a long time constructing it specially for these situations and it still gets little tweaks every now and then, but only if I can listen to the whole thing in one go.

 

It wasn't quite how I envisioned today going, but it's not like I had actual plans either. These things happen and today I dealt with it successfully.

 

[Mortimer]

I find that if I am running on trails, my attention is being spent on keeping myself from falling so I get a - 10 perception check to see fluffeh critters. Which makes me sad. Though I like running in forested areas(with asphalt roads), since it's like 28+ degrees Celsius all year round so I'll take any shade I can get.

 

Yeah the housework tends to pile up when you're busy doing other stuff then it all plops down on you when you get back and find the sink has dishes with questionable contents on them, you can't find a clean shirt to put on...etc.

 

Sorry to hear you had something get you down, but good on you that you had contingency plans to deal with it and made the best out of things happening the way they did.

[iatetheyeti]

On 8/18/2019 at 3:50 PM, Mortimer said:

I find that if I am running on trails, my attention is being spent on keeping myself from falling so I get a - 10 perception check to see fluffeh critters. Which makes me sad. Though I like running in forested areas(with asphalt roads), since it's like 28+ degrees Celsius all year round so I'll take any shade I can get.

 

I get an automatic -10 perception whilst running due to my glasses refusing to stay on my face properly... But yes, any trail running I have done, I've been looking at the ground and only the ground. Much safer that way!

 

 

On 8/18/2019 at 3:50 PM, Mortimer said:

Yeah the housework tends to pile up when you're busy doing other stuff then it all plops down on you when you get back and find the sink has dishes with questionable contents on them, you can't find a clean shirt to put on...etc.

 

I thought it'd be easier to manage when I downsized, but no, it is not...

 

[iatetheyeti]

Officially on the struggle bus.

 

Rise: 0400

Morning routine: No

Inactive hours: Two, maybe three

Illness/injury: Strange bouts of nausea have been ongoing for about three days now, humidity pains are back, bad knee is protesting, and my right eye has been twitching non-stop for the past forty eight hours

Evening routine: Early

Bed: 2100

 

I'm very tired. Not in the sense that I haven't had enough sleep (I haven't, but that's beside the point), but in the sense that my soul is tired, everything is just... a lot. Too much. I've found myself with drama and bullshit on all sides, including my own, unfortunately, and there's no escape from the pressure to have all the answers. I don't. Likely I never will. In some cases I do genuinely want to help. In some cases I need to. And in some I just wish people would grow up and just leave me out of it all. It's all just extra stress and emotion and at a time where I'm not doing a great job of handling my own stress and emotion.

 

I'd say more, but I can't. I want to, I want it out and processed and away, but I've not found the words to do so just yet. I'll keep at it. Either I'll find the words or I'll find myself spending some more quality time with my sketch pad. It'll happen, one way or another.

 

[Mortimer]

Hmm. Tried glass straps yet? This kind of thing:

https://www.decathlon.sg/p/8398799-strap-hook-500-elastic-retaining-strap-with-hook-black.html?gclid=CjwKCAjwkenqBRBgEiwA-bZVtt-Of722TdSSoh5KMi23cNdR1D3Wm_D6kRDn_ti4zV6Ks52_d1kBjxoC0xEQAvD_BwE

 

I take out my glasses when I do yoga or burpees and pushups since they wouldn't stay on anyway.

 

Yeah people can be arses and expect you to know everything(do I look like I previously knew how to clean a fish tank filter?) 

I do now, but that's YouTube.

 

You will need to take whatever time off you need to find your balance - you cant help anyone if you fall apart at your seams. Do you draw things in particular on your sketch pad?I have a fitness buddy who draws beautifully, I have no talent whatsoever in that direction.

[iatetheyeti]

The sensible thing would be to use straps or take them off, I can see without them (though it gets very blurry if anything is more than a metre of so away), but for some reason I just... never do.

 

On 8/19/2019 at 11:38 PM, Mortimer said:

Do you draw things in particular on your sketch pad?I have a fitness buddy who draws beautifully, I have no talent whatsoever in that direction.

 

At the moment, not really. I'm just getting back into it and everything is decidedly abstract, more colour and expression than actual thing, if that makes any sense. But I would like to get to a point where I'm drawing daily again. I used to, I loved it, and it was something I was actually pretty good at. It's been years though, so that talent might take a while to build up again...

 

[jonfirestar]

3 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

The sensible thing would be to use straps or take them off, I can see without them (though it gets very blurry if anything is more than a metre of so away), but for some reason I just... never do.

Didn't I try to give you some straps for your glasses? It might have been Rho. They actually work really well it's sort of nice to be able to run, and especially when you are doing OCR and simply have your glasses stay in place (It really starts to bug me when I'm constantly pushing them back up on longer runs) it just let's you forget about them and get on with what you are doing. Do recommend, especially for you since you are pretty blind without them. 

 

Since the time is fast approaching I'll probably text you over the weekend to try and make some arrangements for a good time for us to get together while I'm there. Sending hugs. 

[iatetheyeti]

2 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

Didn't I try to give you some straps for your glasses? It might have been Rho. They actually work really well it's sort of nice to be able to run, and especially when you are doing OCR and simply have your glasses stay in place (It really starts to bug me when I'm constantly pushing them back up on longer runs) it just let's you forget about them and get on with what you are doing. Do recommend, especially for you since you are pretty blind without them. 

 

I have no recollection of this, so I can't really say. Though I really should get some considering my glasses do seem to like to take every opportunity to jump off of my face...

 

 

2 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

Since the time is fast approaching I'll probably text you over the weekend to try and make some arrangements for a good time for us to get together while I'm there. Sending hugs. 

 

You might even get a timely reply given how little I'm working this weekend  Still can't quite believe that this has come around so quickly...

 

[iatetheyeti]

It is very grey and miserable, but apparently this weather will not last. I'm not taking this particular news as set in stone, but supposedly we're to get another heatwave before winter really kicks off...

 

Rise: No idea

Morning routine: Yes, although it may not have been morning

Inactive hours: Pretty much all bar one

Illness/injury: Weird bouts of nausea seem to have gone away for now, mystery leg pain, however, is making a comeback

Evening routine: Early

Bed: Maybe 2100ish?

 

The most exciting thing I have done today is troubleshoot problems with my boiler (turns out I needed to top up my gas, but it's good to keep these skills sharp). I slept for an inordinately long time (over twelve hours, I think) which was most definitely a mistake given that I need to be up at four tomorrow morning. Even so, apparently I needed the sleep. Apparently I needed a day of sloth as well. Plus side? I actually cooked something for dinner. It was a very simple chicken and spinach pasta dish, but even so, it was cooking nonetheless. I can't say my mental state has cleared any, but I have been dealing with it with slightly more constructive methods than usual.

 

[jonfirestar]

2 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

I have no recollection of this, so I can't really say. Though I really should get some considering my glasses do seem to like to take every opportunity to jump off of my face...

Maybe not, I just thought we had this conversation the last time I was up there but tbh that whole week is a little bit of a blur in my head so I may just be remembering wrong. I don't OCR in my glasses, as you know, but I run in them and they are just bothersome. 

 

2 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

You might even get a timely reply given how little I'm working this weekend  Still can't quite believe that this has come around so quickly...

Yeah... I'm honestly a little terrified of the race myself  but I'm really looking forward to the holiday. I'm up there long enough that I'll actually get a chance to explore a little more of Scotland than my previous whistle stop tours have allowed. 

[iatetheyeti]

21 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

Maybe not, I just thought we had this conversation the last time I was up there but tbh that whole week is a little bit of a blur in my head so I may just be remembering wrong. I don't OCR in my glasses, as you know, but I run in them and they are just bothersome. 

 

We pretty much covered everything, so I wouldn't be surprised if that did end up lost in the mix somewhere!

 

 

21 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

Yeah... I'm honestly a little terrified of the race myself  but I'm really looking forward to the holiday. I'm up there long enough that I'll actually get a chance to explore a little more of Scotland than my previous whistle stop tours have allowed. 

 

I don't blame you, it's a fairly terrifying race. But on the other hand, you beasted MvL and this is basically that but with obstacles and maybe a burpee or two. So you'll be fine  And if you're in the market for a pretty awful tour guide for your explorations, I'm sure I can work something out!

 

[iatetheyeti]

To say I'm in an unpleasant mood would be an understatement. Work is going from bad to worse with no end in sight.

 

Rise: 4am

Morning routine: Yes

Inactive hours: Three

Illness/injury: My entire me hurts

Evening routine: Slightly belated due to surprise socialisation

Bed: 2200

 

We've gone from people calling in sick at work to people just not showing up for shifts, and that's now put me in a position where I'm having to now do a forth nightmare of a shift (6am-5pm) tomorrow, and there is the potential for my nice, short Saturday morning shift to go the same way. I'm working more than any of the managers this week even without a fifth nightmare shift. Really, I'm having such a great time with this... All I need to do is get through tomorrow and Saturday, and then, for the first time in a long, long time, I have both Sunday and Monday to myself. And I will not answer the phone should work try and call me in.

 

[Mortimer]

Uh Jon, maybe you should get yeti some spectacle straps the next time you guys meet up. Things do get misplaced.

 

And good luck for your race!

 

Yeti - hopefully at least you're raking in overtime money so you get more for your household stuff, and luxuries to pamper yourself - is a portable air conditioner possible?

[iatetheyeti]

On 8/23/2019 at 2:53 AM, Mortimer said:

Yeti - hopefully at least you're raking in overtime money so you get more for your household stuff, and luxuries to pamper yourself - is a portable air conditioner possible?

 

I'd like to think so, but I won't know for sure until payday. All going well, I should actually have a tiny bit of disposable income next month. That'll be a first...

 

[iatetheyeti]

Given that I feel this awful after working somewhere in the region of 50 hours this week, I don't know how I made it through my 70+ hour nightmare week earlier in the year...

 

Rise: 0400

Morning routine: I tried to brush my teeth with moisturiser, so...

Inactive hours: Many

Illness/injury: A lot of over-use/under-rest stuff that should clear up over the next couple of days (numbness in the feet, extreme pain in both ankles, dodgy knee swollen and stiff, back and shoulders in pain), plus the stuff caused purely by how badly I've slept over the past week (headache, dry and painful eyes, rapidly diminishing coordination and overall brainpower...), plus the three finger dislocations today. I'm in wonderful shape, truly...

Evening routine: Early

Bed: 2100ish

 

I've spent all week anticipating today's short shift and I spent all of said shift in a state of high anxiety waiting for something else drastic to go wrong. It did not, to the best of my knowledge. I managed to escape on time, I even managed to get a seat on the bus home (also got bombarded by the wasps trapped inside the bus, but a seat is a seat), and since getting home I have done nothing. I look forward to doing nothing for the rest of the night. And I look forward to a long sleep. A lot of my current state of body and mind will be fixed up well enough by a good sleep, thankfully.

 

And on the plus side, I now have two days in a row off to recover.

 

[jonfirestar]

On 8/23/2019 at 2:53 AM, Mortimer said:

Uh Jon, maybe you should get yeti some spectacle straps the next time you guys meet up. Things do get misplaced.

 

Maybe I'll try. They do really make a difference. Although the ones I have are of a completely different design. It's kind of like a whire that attaches to the ends of the arm that simply draws in to secure your glasses on. It'a surprisingly comfortable and I've forgotten I've even had them on (and jumped into a lake) 

 

On 8/23/2019 at 2:53 AM, Mortimer said:

And good luck for your race!

Thanks! Yeti is running too but I'm doing the big one! 

 

On 8/22/2019 at 7:21 PM, iatetheyeti said:

I don't blame you, it's a fairly terrifying race. But on the other hand, you beasted MvL and this is basically that but with obstacles and maybe a burpee or two. So you'll be fine

Thanks. I have dropped down to the Open wave from Age Group. The mental stuff just isn't there right now and it's taken a heap of performance pressure off of me. 

 

On 8/22/2019 at 7:21 PM, iatetheyeti said:

And if you're in the market for a pretty awful tour guide for your explorations, I'm sure I can work something out!

Of course  I hope I get to spend loads of time with you! I'm looking forward to seeing you! 

[iatetheyeti]

30 minutes ago, jonfirestar said:

Of course  I hope I get to spend loads of time with you! I'm looking forward to seeing you! 

 

Well, I've got the whole of that week off, so it shouldn't be too difficult to make that happen

 

 

32 minutes ago, jonfirestar said:

Thanks! Yeti is running too but I'm doing the big one! 

 

About that... kind of not running it any more, sorry. But that's probably best something discussed in person, not least because I'm having a lot of trouble actually finding the words as to why.