[iatetheyeti] Battlemage Vol. I: Beginnings

[iatetheyeti]

Time has been hellishly weird today. Has it passed too fast? Too slowly? At all? Who knows?

 

Rise: 5am. Advantage of a Sunday open shift is that the store opens an hour later, therefore an hour more sleep, assuming one can actually get said sleep.

Morning routine: Brush yes, cleanse no.

Inactive hours: Two so far, more (maybe three?) to come.

Illness/injury: I'm having no luck with this burn. I kept it covered, it dried up nicely, and then I noticed it had a hair stuck in it. Me being me, I removed it without thinking, taking the entire scab along for the ride. Result was blood pouring down my arm. At least the infection seems to have died down? Also, stress headache and unpleasantly wet coughing.

Evening routine: To the surprise of no one I forgot to mark down the time, so again I'm assuming the laptop went off around the right time...

Bed: ...because I was in bed early again.

 

What I'm getting from all of this is that I need to engage my brain more so my perpetual tiredness will not be a gateway to doing stupid things.

 

[Mortimer]

Oww that sounds nasty with the burn. Maybe you should try to keep it covered during day and only have it open when you sleep so you don't start looking at it. 

 

How many hours of sleep are you getting? Getting more sleep helps with stress and chronic coughs/sniffles. 

[iatetheyeti]

13 hours ago, Mortimer said:

Oww that sounds nasty with the burn. Maybe you should try to keep it covered during day and only have it open when you sleep so you don't start looking at it. 

 

It's not pleasant, that's for sure. It was keeping it uncovered when I was asleep that led to the problems I'm having now, though that is what I usually tend to do with these things. At the moment I'm keeping it covered at work and when I'm asleep, and leaving it uncovered in between times so I can keep an eye on it and keep it clean (and finally, finally let it dry out). So far that appears to be working. 

 

 

13 hours ago, Mortimer said:

How many hours of sleep are you getting? Getting more sleep helps with stress and chronic coughs/sniffles. 

 

Heh, I haven't been getting enough sleep for the last ten years, never mind recently! Believe me, I know how that feeds into these things. Unfortunately right now the stress has very little to do with that and very much to do with work-based factors, so not much can be done there. I've got a niggling feeling work might also be partially responsible for my perpetual cough/cold as it does involve spending a lot of time in a freezer with inadequate PPE. 

 

[iatetheyeti]

Well, this week started off with unexpected news that I don't actually know how to deal with. Again. It made for a weird shift at work, and despite said shift only lasting for six hours, I'm exhausted from the mental workout my mind has undertaken today.

 

Rise: 0400. Yay.

Morning routine: No. I was running late thanks to said news.

Inactive hours: We'll be looking at three total for today.

Illness/injury: My arm has finally stopped bleeding, which is nice and has enabled me to take proper care of this ridiculous burn. It means I can switch the dressing and tape combo or a large plaster as the former has irritated the hell out of my skin. Aside from that, not much to report.

Evening routine: I was very early with that last night.

Bed: In bed by 2030.

 

I intend to repeat the early bed time tonight as I've got a full day solo shift tomorrow and desperately need the rest. Even if I'm not sleeping, I'm at least lying down and comfortable and either reading or meditating. that helps.

 

[jonfirestar]

22 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

Well, this week started off with unexpected news that I don't actually know how to deal with. Again. It made for a weird shift at work, and despite said shift only lasting for six hours, I'm exhausted from the mental workout my mind has undertaken today.

 

Nothing too bad I hope. I'm doing a very terrible job of checking in on you  I really hope you are doing well. 

[iatetheyeti]

1 hour ago, jonfirestar said:

Nothing too bad I hope.

 

Well. It's bad, and it has the potential to become horrifically bad. Though the more likely option is that it will continue to be bad until it fades away again. Which is all ridiculously cryptic, but I need time to process before I go into specifics in a public place.

 

 

1 hour ago, jonfirestar said:

I'm doing a very terrible job of checking in on you  I really hope you are doing well. 

 

Don't worry about it, you've got your own life and things to get on with, that's more important. And I'm... doing, I guess? Maybe not doing well, exactly, but I'm aiming to get there which is an improvement in itself.

 

[iatetheyeti]

These stupid-long work days are not in the least fun, and they are so much less fun when members of the area management team come and poke around for six hours.

 

Rise: 0400

Morning routine: Yes.

Inactive hours: I don't intend to be in any way active tonight, so all of them. From around 1800 until whenever I decide to go to bed.

Illness/injury: I was preemptive on celebrating my arm no longer bleeding. It's still going. And weirdly enough the wound itself actually looks a lot better than it did yesterday. Other than that and the usual 11 hour shift complaints (dead feet, massive joint pain in the legs, headache, rage), there's only a vague feeling of nausea to report that might well have been from consuming my dinner at breakneck speed.

Evening routine: Well before the assigned time.

Bed: In bed by 2030 again.

 

I am tired. Basically I'm in a zombie state and the only reason I am not currently in bed sleeping is because I need to digest, otherwise this vague nausea will get a whole lot worse. At least tomorrow I get a quiet, stress free day.

[iatetheyeti]

There's a lot to be said for the restorative power of doing things slowly, without real purpose, and without any pressure.

 

Rise: 0930, forgot to set my alarm, but apparently I needed the sleep.

Morning routine: Yes, actually remembered today.

Inactive hours: Many. My new Oblivion disc arrived yesterday, so whenever I've been in the flat I've mostly been lounging about playing that.

Illness/injury: Major improvement on the burn. It's finally stopped bleeding and started to form scabs. Headache has returned, arthritis has been murder today (humidity has taken a sharp rise), and my left shoulder is aching. I'm guessing over-work on that one.

Evening routine: Passed this by last night, I was reading and listening to music and forgot the time.

Bed: 2300ish? I think?

 

De-stressing has been effective today. I hate that I need to do this so much right now, but at the same time I'm kind of glad that I'm getting better at recognising when I need to, and then actually following through and doing the thing rather than just shoving it away. Fortunately tomorrow shouldn't be too bad, it's a short shift and after that comes three whole days to myself.

 

[Mortimer]

Try some tiger balm for arthritis, and for headaches, I got some luck applying mint essential oil on the aching parts for some temporary relief. Mine are usually brought about due to dehydration so did you try increasing water intake? 

[iatetheyeti]

13 hours ago, Mortimer said:

Try some tiger balm for arthritis, and for headaches, I got some luck applying mint essential oil on the aching parts for some temporary relief. Mine are usually brought about due to dehydration so did you try increasing water intake? 

 

I've never heard of tiger balm, I don't think, so I'll look into that. This arthritis thing is relatively new so I'm still learning... As for the mint, I can't stand the stuff (unless it's in ice cream form...)! My water intake is good also. The headaches, they've been a lifelong issue. Literally, there was a mishap when I was born and I've suffered from headaches and migraines ever since, so I've had a long time to figure these out and limit the damage best I can. If you've got any ideas about taming stress headaches (without being able to remove the source of stress, sadly) then I'm all ears!

 

[iatetheyeti]

Doing this early because I am a ball of rage with next to no focus.

 

Rise: ...technically 0330, but I never did get any sleep.

Morning routine: I anger brushed and anger forgot to cleanse.

Inactive hours: All of them, most likely. I fully intend to ditch my goals today and spend hours hacking bandits to pieces with a sword and roasting dremora.

Illness/injury: Shark week. And it's a rager.

Evening routine: Laptop was off early.

Bed: I actually went to bed around 2130, but could not for the life of me sleep.

 

It's a little worrying just how angry I've got over the course of today, but at the same time not at all surprising. There was already stress and emotions and now this crap lands on me. Fortunately I have kept control of my temper. I managed it at work by not speaking to anyone if I could help it, and now that I'm safe at home I don't have to hide that I'm so frustrated and instead can channel that into other things. Like violence in video games, given that I lack a punch bag. With any degree of luck that will do the trick because I hate feeling like this. I'd rather the nonstop crying than this. Stupid hormones...

 

[Mortimer]

Tiger balm is a brand of muscle rub here, I do some rubbing should my left shoulder give me issues after lifting. 

 

https://www.tigerbalm.com/us/pages/tb_product/TIGER_BALM_ARTHRITIS_RUB

 

For headaches try eculyptus essential oil, it might give some temporary relief. Any yoga classes around your area? You could YouTube but your first classes are better spent in an actual class so you can get your form corrected. 

 

Usually if I have rage(like an inefficient telco service), I prefer to flick open a YouTube of body combat then spend an hour air punching and kicking. Imagine you're punching and kicking the person that pissed you off. 

 

Something like this:

 

 

https://youtu.be/lkAoJbl8XQE

 

[iatetheyeti]

11 hours ago, Mortimer said:

Tiger balm is a brand of muscle rub here, I do some rubbing should my left shoulder give me issues after lifting. 

 

https://www.tigerbalm.com/us/pages/tb_product/TIGER_BALM_ARTHRITIS_RUB

 

Cheers for that, I'll have a hunt for it in the local supermarkets (and if it isn't there, pretty sure it'll be one Amazon).

 

 

11 hours ago, Mortimer said:

Any yoga classes around your area? You could YouTube but your first classes are better spent in an actual class so you can get your form corrected. 

 

There are, but they're pricey, and right now I don't have the money to spare. At some point I would like to get to one for that exact reason, I've been doing yoga on and off for years and while I think I have decent form, my best guess is not a replacement for the tuition of a professional.

 

 

11 hours ago, Mortimer said:

 

https://youtu.be/lkAoJbl8XQE

 

 

You know, I never thought to look for anything like that on youtube. I'll be keeping that for the future!

 

[iatetheyeti]

Significantly calmer today, with is beyond a relief. I don't like feeling like I did yesterday, even if I control my temper I still end up being a deeply unpleasant person to be around, and that's not the kind of person I want to be.

 

Rise: ...1045. Oops.

Morning routine: Done

Inactive hours: A fair amount, I haven't actually kept track today, but I have played a lot of Oblivion.

Illness/injury: I'm still being punched in the uterus by shark week, I have a small change-of-weather headache that will likely end when the rain does, and the burn is healing nicely.

Evening routine: I think I was on time? I don't actually remember.

Bed: I went to bed when it was still lightish, so before 2300, beyond that I don't know...

 

We're currently experiencing a whole month's worth of rainfall coming in the space of a few hours. We have country-wide flood alerts and considering what's happening on my street I am not surprised. It has given me a somewhat flimsy excuse to just stay in and not worry about going out, which in all fairness has helped. It has meant consuming a lot of junk food, which was bought yesterday, but I'm not going to beat myself up too badly for that. I'm slowly clawing things back, and tomorrow will be business as usual.

 

[Mortimer]

7 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

Significantly calmer today, with is beyond a relief. I don't like feeling like I did yesterday, even if I control my temper I still end up being a deeply unpleasant person to be around, and that's not the kind of person I want to be.

 

Rise: ...1045. Oops.

Morning routine: Done

Inactive hours: A fair amount, I haven't actually kept track today, but I have played a lot of Oblivion.

Illness/injury: I'm still being punched in the uterus by shark week, I have a small change-of-weather headache that will likely end when the rain does, and the burn is healing nicely.

Evening routine: I think I was on time? I don't actually remember.

Bed: I went to bed when it was still lightish, so before 2300, beyond that I don't know...

 

We're currently experiencing a whole month's worth of rainfall coming in the space of a few hours. We have country-wide flood alerts and considering what's happening on my street I am not surprised. It has given me a somewhat flimsy excuse to just stay in and not worry about going out, which in all fairness has helped. It has meant consuming a lot of junk food, which was bought yesterday, but I'm not going to beat myself up too badly for that. I'm slowly clawing things back, and tomorrow will be business as usual.

 

 

Good to hear that the burn is healing up nicely. I read a book about anger once. Been at least 10 years... So can't remember everything. Anger is tied to our drive. The stronger you have a drive to get things done, the more anger you will end up with when it's not done. To have no anger at all is not a good thing (because you have no drive. You don't care that's why you don't get angry when it isn't done) and you should not be ashamed that you have rage. Where you funnel it though, is the more important part. 

[iatetheyeti]

15 hours ago, Mortimer said:

Where you funnel it though, is the more important part. 

 

I couldn't agree more. I've been dealing with anger issues since my early teens, and that is perhaps the single most important lesson I've learned over the years.

 

[iatetheyeti]

I've extolled the virtues of a good cry many a time, and today is no different. Last night I had one such cry in the midst of a conversation with someone who understands, and as awkward as I felt about it at the time, that and not being afraid to steer the conversation into difficult places (I actually willingly discussed things that were bothering me without being poked and prodded into it, which is another little step of progress) has had a noticeable impact on my mood. Plus I slept like a baby last night and that is almost certainly directly related.

 

Rise: 0900

Morning routine: Done

Inactive hours: Not as many as yesterday, but still many.

Illness/injury: Surprisingly good on both fronts today. Wounds are healing, ailments are being quiet, and, for once, my body appears to be behaving.

Evening routine: Late on that on account of the phone call.

Bed: Maybe 2230ish?

 

I feel refreshed. Mentally. It's difficult to feel physically refreshed when the humidity keeps creeping up higher and higher... 

 

[iatetheyeti]

Today has been something of a blur. The temperature is rising again, the humidity is getting ridiculous, and I am losing all focus because I can't sleep.

 

Rise: I don't know. I just rolled out of bed and went straight for the coffee.

Morning routine: A somewhat belated lunchtime brushing, no cleansing.

Inactive hours: A fair few, no real accuracy here.

Illness/injury: Almost everything I am feeling right now can be traced back to either a spectacular lack of sleep or the heat and humidity (91% last night...).

Evening routine: Definitely early, not sure by how much.

Bed: I got frustrated by the heat and went to lie down fairly early on.

 

The weather forecast for the next week kind of scares me, I have to admit. Admittedly the temperatures are bearable, nothing above the low twenties so far, but the humidity is going to be difficult to deal with. This is Scotland, we're used to mild weather and our buildings are made to retain as much heat as possible. This is a bit of a nightmare.

 

[iatetheyeti]

One day back at work and the exhaustion just hits so hard... I really wonder what it would be like to work at a job I actually enjoyed and that didn't cause me stress and illness and physical damage...

 

Rise: 0400

Morning routine: Yes, barely

Inactive hours: Four so far, maybe six by the time I go to bed.

Illness/injury: A deeply unsettled gut from mystery causes (top suspects are stress and surprise lactose), arthritis from the humidity building again.

Evening routine: Done on time.

Bed: About 2200, though not as early as it should have been given the time I had to get up...

 

Honestly, this isn't even the start of the rough stuff. Tomorrow is a short closing shift followed by a day off, so really I shouldn't be complaining about being so tired. Yet.

 

[Mortimer]

Yeah reading about your logs, I am very grateful for my job. Other then a little occasional bother that causes me to miss out a run/exercise session or two, it's been quite smooth sailing. Did you think about changing jobs? 

 

Does your room have air conditioning, or failing that, try an electric fan? 

 

Oh down here it's now 27 degrees celcius, 87% humidity. It's pretty much like this all year round so....=P

 

Actually dry weather gets me down. In Arizona, low humidity, I couldn't run. Each time I tried I'd get my nose blocked. But once I got to San Diego, I was zipping down the streets. 

[iatetheyeti]

19 hours ago, Mortimer said:

Yeah reading about your logs, I am very grateful for my job. Other then a little occasional bother that causes me to miss out a run/exercise session or two, it's been quite smooth sailing. Did you think about changing jobs? 

 

Would you believe that this disaster of a job is actually the best I've had to date? Kind of says it all, really... And yeah, I am looking for a new job, the trouble is finding something with enough hours for me to be able to support myself. As soon as I can find that, I'm jumping ship.

 

 

19 hours ago, Mortimer said:

Does your room have air conditioning, or failing that, try an electric fan? 

 

I'm going to invest in an electric fan. Apparently one of those over a bowl of ice cools down a room wonderfully.

 

 

19 hours ago, Mortimer said:

Oh down here it's now 27 degrees celcius, 87% humidity. It's pretty much like this all year round so....=P

 

Actually dry weather gets me down. In Arizona, low humidity, I couldn't run. Each time I tried I'd get my nose blocked. But once I got to San Diego, I was zipping down the streets. 

 

...all year? 

 

I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that would be the end of me! My ability to deal with high temperatures is virtually non-existent, but it is marginally better without the added high humidity. I can just about walk in this, never mind run! 

[iatetheyeti]

I'm so very done with waking up at 4am on the days where I don't have to be in work early. Especially when I've been unable to get to sleep at a reasonable time the night before.

 

Rise: 0700ish

Morning routine: Belated brushing, forgot cleansing.

Inactive hours: I'm going to go with three total.

Illness/injury: The mystery leg pain is back, I did wonder how long that would take. Left shin today, and mild enough to be negligible. Headache, coughing, and sore throat at a moderate level.

Evening routine: On time last night.

Bed: Around 2200

 

There's nothing like being told you've got the gas safety people coming in the afternoon (when I was at work) and then having them turn up not long after I roll out of bed. I'm not sure who was more embarrassed, the two guys or me. We all decided to ignore the situation, which seemed to work out well enough. It did set the tone for the day though, and work was nothing but bad news and more bad news. So I am once again exhausted, and I'm a little worried that when I eventually do manage to get to sleep I'm going to wake up at 4am tomorrow morning. On my day off. Because apparently my body likes to do that now.

 

[Mortimer]

12 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

 

Would you believe that this disaster of a job is actually the best I've had to date? Kind of says it all, really... And yeah, I am looking for a new job, the trouble is finding something with enough hours for me to be able to support myself. As soon as I can find that, I'm jumping ship.

 

 

 

I'm going to invest in an electric fan. Apparently one of those over a bowl of ice cools down a room wonderfully.

 

 

 

...all year? 

 

I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that would be the end of me! My ability to deal with high temperatures is virtually non-existent, but it is marginally better without the added high humidity. I can just about walk in this, never mind run! 

Let's see.. lowest average temperature is 26 degrees, humidity is 70-80 percent all year. Absolute lowest temperature, hmm maybe 22 degrees? 

 

Highest temperature - 34 degrees. Today was 31 degrees. 

 

I am from Asia. A totally different part of the world. 

 

Again put me in a cold place, I'll huddle under the blankets and hibernate and refuse to come out, lol. 

 

Good luck with your job search! 

[iatetheyeti]

I am so very tired. I think at this point I don't have enough years left in my lifespan to catch up with this sleep debt...

 

Rise: 0900ish. Someday I will get around to enforcing an earlier waking time, and it will be the day I stop waking up at 0400 on my day off.

Morning routine: Completely forgot.

Inactive hours: Many.

Illness/injury: Heat related - headache, arthritis. 

Evening routine: On time.

Bed: Unsure. I lay down about 2200 and read until I could barely keep my eyes open.

 

We had some rain today. It was nice, but didn't cool things down much. Definitely not enough to have a good sleep. We'll see about tonight, I guess.

 

[iatetheyeti]

The ghosts of birthdays past kicked me a little harder in the feels than I expected, so I gave myself a little recovery time (or as much as I could, considering I did actually have to go to work) in order to not let that get bad.

 

Rise: 0400

Morning routine: Forgot. Compromised by getting toothpaste at work and did a post-breakfast, no-toothbrush job.

Inactive hours: By the time I go to bed it'll be three.

Illness/injury: At this point I don't know if everything actually hurts or if I'm just that tired. It's probably both.

Evening routine: Early.

Bed: 2100ish

 

The fact that I'm this exhausted two days into an eight day streak does not bode well. The cooler weather and constant rain is helping me sleep a little better, but apparently next week we're headed for temperatures in the low thirties. Because apparently what this heatwave needs is more heat. I'm trying to look on the bright side (massive thunderstorms!), but I am very much filled with self-pity and intense frustration (partly due to a situation that is entirely beyond my control and could have gone drastically wrong and I'd have no way of knowing because everyone involve is the worst at communication, me included) and am venting. 

 

My solution is going to be to go to bed ASAP and try not to think about anything.

 

We'll see how that works.