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The Padawan Chronicles Ep. 1 - The Lost Jedi


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2 minutes ago, shaar said:

 

IMHO this is the true sign of a good therapist.  The process is gonna be uncomfy and a skilled therapist will hone in on stuff like this to help you process it and move forward towards a better you. 

 

I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! ^_________^  You're going to do great!!

Yeah, I'm feeling the same way. I'd love for it to be easy, but that's just not realistic. 

  • Like 1

Grey Jedi Ranger

Jedi Becomes Her Own Hero

Jedi Battle Log

“Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!”

- Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes

Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10#11#12#13#14#15#16, #17#18#19#20#21#22#23#24#25#26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33,  #34#35#36#37#38#39#40#41#42#43#44, #45#46#47#48#49#50#51#52#53#54#55#56#57#58#59#60#61#62#63

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Wow guys, it's been a minute. Sorry I vanished for a few days! Life was a lot.

 

I've been doing well on all of my goals. I'm learning to be forgiving of myself for the fact that for some reason I require a decently large amount of food. DOMS is gone, but since there's ice on the ground I'm not going to be going to the gym until that's gone. I don't feel like getting injured or something tbh. I've been semi decent about eating when I'm hungry, which is nice.

 

My goals for next week are: 1) go back to the gym, 2) put up the rest of my house decor, 3) get to my doctor's appointment

 

I've got this!

Grey Jedi Ranger

Jedi Becomes Her Own Hero

Jedi Battle Log

“Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!”

- Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes

Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10#11#12#13#14#15#16, #17#18#19#20#21#22#23#24#25#26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33,  #34#35#36#37#38#39#40#41#42#43#44, #45#46#47#48#49#50#51#52#53#54#55#56#57#58#59#60#61#62#63

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Updating you guys!

 

I did get back to the gym. And after Monday, I didn't actually have any DOMS?? Super weird. I went light-ish to make sure I didn't overdo it, but I think I managed to steer very clear of overdoing it. It's nice to be lifting again though. Loving it ^_^ And our gym is great. I encountered the opposite of a gym-bro- a dude who saw me doing something not as safely as I could be and was SUPER polite about asking if I needed/wanted help. I ended up taking his suggestion. I also asked Mr. Right's gym buddy (who is a trainer on the side) to help me ensure that I had my deadlift form correct. Better to catch it early!!! We should be going back to the gym today. If not, then tomorrow for sure. 

 

Doctor's appointment was put off. Doc couldn't get into the office due to the ice and snow. I could have, but she couldn't so the issue was moot anyway. I've been doing my "therapy homework" though and I think I'm starting to at least recognize the unhealthy behaviors in myself. I'm not always able to fix or stop them, but the knowledge and awareness is definitely an important step.

 

Haven't put up my house decor yet, but Mr. Right has been doing inservices so he's been on a day schedule. Which I LOVE. So we've been spending lots of time together. I'm going to look into doing it like.. tomorrow evening and such. 

 

I've also been doing a lot of cooking, which I'm really happy about and proud of. Not everything is perfect, but it's home cooked which is an instant improvement over the stuff we've been eating.

  • Like 2

Grey Jedi Ranger

Jedi Becomes Her Own Hero

Jedi Battle Log

“Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!”

- Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes

Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10#11#12#13#14#15#16, #17#18#19#20#21#22#23#24#25#26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33,  #34#35#36#37#38#39#40#41#42#43#44, #45#46#47#48#49#50#51#52#53#54#55#56#57#58#59#60#61#62#63

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Oh hi everyone.

 

I still haven't gotten my decor up on the walls - or at least not all of it. There are only like three things that will need nailing to the wall though, I'm going to see what I can reshuffle to allow for even less. And I cleaned up the guest room! It's super nice in there now. Bed is made and there's a floor. Like wtf? Next steps include buying a desk and chair. We also got two power strips, so I can get one for that room. Direly needed! Once I get a desk, I'll rearrange everything. I don't want to rearrange until I'm ready to use my desk because I need the natural light for makeup and makeup videos. I found one of Facebook marketplace for like $25 so hopefully I'll be able to get one soon.

 

Gym has still been happening. We went twice last week, which is better than once the week before lol. The goal for me this week is 3 times. 

 

Therapy appt #2 is tomorrow, we'll see how that goes. I'm also getting groceries tomorrow. And working. It's gonna be a busy day. 

 

Still cooking a good bit. It's nice ^_^

 

Now off to make a cup of tea to enjoy while I watch some youtube before heading to the gym.

  • Like 1

Grey Jedi Ranger

Jedi Becomes Her Own Hero

Jedi Battle Log

“Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!”

- Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes

Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10#11#12#13#14#15#16, #17#18#19#20#21#22#23#24#25#26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33,  #34#35#36#37#38#39#40#41#42#43#44, #45#46#47#48#49#50#51#52#53#54#55#56#57#58#59#60#61#62#63

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13 hours ago, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said:

Gym has still been happening. We went twice last week, which is better than once the week before lol. The goal for me this week is 3 times. 

 

Therapy appt #2 is tomorrow, we'll see how that goes. I'm also getting groceries tomorrow. And working. It's gonna be a busy day. 

 

Still cooking a good bit. It's nice ^_^

 

Now off to make a cup of tea to enjoy while I watch some youtube before heading to the gym.

 

Wow, you look very busy, but owning it anyway, fantastic. I don't know how you are managing all these things, but i'm glad you can handle it!

  • Like 1

... a little odd in the head ...

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8 hours ago, Mr_Willes said:

 

Wow, you look very busy, but owning it anyway, fantastic. I don't know how you are managing all these things, but i'm glad you can handle it!

Working from home part time helps SO MUCH. I only work 20 hours a week now and I do it from home. I can make my own schedule. Cooking when I'm home all the time is a lot easier (at least when depression isn't kicking my ass). And with Mr. Right already going to the gym, it's an easy commitment to make for myself haha we encourage each other to go!

  • Like 1

Grey Jedi Ranger

Jedi Becomes Her Own Hero

Jedi Battle Log

“Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!”

- Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes

Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10#11#12#13#14#15#16, #17#18#19#20#21#22#23#24#25#26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33,  #34#35#36#37#38#39#40#41#42#43#44, #45#46#47#48#49#50#51#52#53#54#55#56#57#58#59#60#61#62#63

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Whooooo drop kick me JESUS I'm out of practice working so much.

 

Yesterday I had literally 3 meetings so I was like 'huh this would be a great opportunity to get out of the house and be productive' and that's what I did. Boy oh boy am I tired still. Yesterday was just a day from hell, and work is SO STRESSFUL but some of the tactics I'm learning in therapy are helpful. Like decreasing urgency on things. I have a lot of things that It would be NICE if they got done today, but realistically I only have a couple of things that truly need to get done. And that takes SO much pressure off of me when I start getting stressed about life and work. At the end of the day, very little is as urgent as I'm making it out to be. So I don't have to freak out and panic, I can relax and focus on what needs to be done right now and stay calm.

 

That's going to be extra important right now with 1) my trip out of town coming up and 2) my boss having a LOT of pressure on him that he's trying to offload on me but I don't have the skills to offload on others yet. I'm learning to delegate, but I'm still super new at it and pretty confused half the time lol my first instinct is to do it myself. Which isn't terribly helpful. 

 

I'm still going to the gym regularly, and dragging a semi-reluctant husband on top of that xD It's really important that I do because it keeps me energized and in a decent mood. 

 

Wish me luck this week!

  • Like 1

Grey Jedi Ranger

Jedi Becomes Her Own Hero

Jedi Battle Log

“Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!”

- Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes

Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10#11#12#13#14#15#16, #17#18#19#20#21#22#23#24#25#26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33,  #34#35#36#37#38#39#40#41#42#43#44, #45#46#47#48#49#50#51#52#53#54#55#56#57#58#59#60#61#62#63

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It's great therapy is helping you manage work. This is the first job I've seen you write about in such a way that it wasn't immediately obvious you wanted out of the job. 

Current Challenge

"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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YOU

ARE

DOING

GREAT!!!!

\o/

 

I'm so glad the therapy work is able to help you manage your everyday stress.  That's SUCH A huge win!! <3

Tell me, if you had the strength to take another step, could you do it?

Level ?? Bard & Monk of the Furious Heart

STR.55  DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65

 

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On 1/25/2019 at 7:57 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

It's great therapy is helping you manage work. This is the first job I've seen you write about in such a way that it wasn't immediately obvious you wanted out of the job. 

It is! This is a season of work where things could get really overwhelming really fast and I'm so glad that I have this opportunity. 

 

Honestly, I think I love this job more than I ever loved any of my previous ones. It's interesting that you say that because I just remember feeling so shattered and lost when I was unemployed this time last year. But while things aren't ideal outside of work, this work situation is probably the best one I've been in thus far. And the one most suited to my temperament and my personality. Being able to choose my hours, work around Mr. Right's schedule, and really take ownership of the work has helped a lot. I also feel very appreciated here- moreso than basically anywhere else. It's really nice :)

 

7 hours ago, shaar said:

YOU

ARE

DOING

GREAT!!!!

\o/

 

I'm so glad the therapy work is able to help you manage your everyday stress.  That's SUCH A huge win!! <3

Thanks! You too!!

 

You and me both. I feel like it's going to continue to make SUCH a difference in my life and I'm so thankful for it :) <3

  • Like 1

Grey Jedi Ranger

Jedi Becomes Her Own Hero

Jedi Battle Log

“Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!”

- Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes

Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10#11#12#13#14#15#16, #17#18#19#20#21#22#23#24#25#26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33,  #34#35#36#37#38#39#40#41#42#43#44, #45#46#47#48#49#50#51#52#53#54#55#56#57#58#59#60#61#62#63

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On 1/25/2019 at 10:33 AM, TheGreyJedi-Ranger said:

Like decreasing urgency on things. I have a lot of things that It would be NICE if they got done today, but realistically I only have a couple of things that truly need to get done. And that takes SO much pressure off of me when I start getting stressed about life and work. At the end of the day, very little is as urgent as I'm making it out to be. So I don't have to freak out and panic, I can relax and focus on what needs to be done right now and stay calm.

 

This is SUCH helpful thinking!! With any job, even the best ones, it's easy for stuff to start feeling urgent and panicky; and I'm so glad you're learning how to take a look and say "nuh-uh, people will not die if I don't do this yesterday". And I'm just thrilled that you and this job are getting along so well!!  :D 

SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART

The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 53

Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek 

"Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers

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Whoooooo drop kick me Jesus the past few days have been SOMETHING.

 

I haven't been eating well at all because I didn't want to go grocery shopping right before going on vacation. And I had my friend around here and it was SO GREAT for like 24 hours. Then comes the day of hell. I was sad because I had to say goodbye to my sister-friend and later would be leaving Mr. Right as my friend and I go on my birthday adventure trip. But then she starting to have serious car trouble. So I'm still at home. Yikes. I'm not thrilled. But it's no one's fault. Finally went grocery shopping to get a few things since we don't actually know when(if) we're going to leave to go on vacation. 

 

Not my favorite thing at all. it's not been great recently. Hopefully things will get better. 

  • Like 2

Grey Jedi Ranger

Jedi Becomes Her Own Hero

Jedi Battle Log

“Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!”

- Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes

Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10#11#12#13#14#15#16, #17#18#19#20#21#22#23#24#25#26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33,  #34#35#36#37#38#39#40#41#42#43#44, #45#46#47#48#49#50#51#52#53#54#55#56#57#58#59#60#61#62#63

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Um.. well... Hi guys. I disappeared for weeks, huh. I'm so sorry. I've missed you all more than I can explain.

 

The way that whole trip ended up going I stayed that week at home instead, then went home with my friend for 2 weeks. It was supposed to be one, but weather. I did get a new couch and chair out of the deal, which was great. And there was more drama on top of that which I don't really want to go into right now. It has not been a good time for me.

 

However, I'm still doing my therapy, and my therapist has been helping me so much. A friend of mine told me that she can already see the difference in me after three sessions, which made me feel good. It's not perfect, but I'm slowly getting to a point where I'm better off emotionally. We are going to talk to my PCP about upping my meds a bit again. Trying to get me in a good space. I'm getting to a point where I'm also starting to be able to apply some behavioral changes to alleviate my depression. We'll see how that all helps.

 

I'm starting up my gym routine again, and I'm trying to get back into reading my Bible every day. I'm making a point to cook more as well. I also made a goal that I have to leave home and interact with people every week. My plan for this week is to try out a life group at church. I reached out to someone who has one tomorrow evening, and it's someone I know fairly well. 

 

Something super cool that my therapist suggested was that when I'm working, I should set a timer for 2.5 hours and make a point to eat every time I create these little breaks. Hunger makes me moody, and that's getting to be a serious problem. So I'm going to try to set a timer and eat at least a little something every couple of hours or so. Keep my blood sugar balanced and such. I'll be more productive at work and hopefully happier. And my body will be better too since it'll finally trust me to feed it.

 

Hope everyone is having a great challenge, and I'll just keep updating here until the March challenge comes up!

  • Like 3

Grey Jedi Ranger

Jedi Becomes Her Own Hero

Jedi Battle Log

“Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!”

- Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes

Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10#11#12#13#14#15#16, #17#18#19#20#21#22#23#24#25#26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33,  #34#35#36#37#38#39#40#41#42#43#44, #45#46#47#48#49#50#51#52#53#54#55#56#57#58#59#60#61#62#63

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The timer idea sounds pretty awesome!!

 

Good to hear from you, and glad you are hanging in there!! ^__________^

  • Like 1

Tell me, if you had the strength to take another step, could you do it?

Level ?? Bard & Monk of the Furious Heart

STR.55  DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65

 

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22 hours ago, shaar said:

The timer idea sounds pretty awesome!!

 

Good to hear from you, and glad you are hanging in there!! ^__________^

It's been super helpful so far :) It gives me structured work breaks (which I need direly) and an encouragement to eat more regularly (which I also need direly).

 

And hanging in is definitely the best description haha I'm getting there ^_^

 

17 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I'm glad therapy is helping!

You and me both! I'm really feeling better overall ^_^

  • Like 1

Grey Jedi Ranger

Jedi Becomes Her Own Hero

Jedi Battle Log

“Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!”

- Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes

Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10#11#12#13#14#15#16, #17#18#19#20#21#22#23#24#25#26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33,  #34#35#36#37#38#39#40#41#42#43#44, #45#46#47#48#49#50#51#52#53#54#55#56#57#58#59#60#61#62#63

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