Battle Log of the Tides

[Tides]

WARNING: LONG

 

Every day the ocean tides rise and fall, rise and fall. Constant. Reliable. The heartbeat of life on this planet. The tides represent a predictable pattern in the fabric of life. I have begun to notice a similar pattern in my own life, one of ups and downs, ups and downs. Interests flare up and then wane. Eating habits shine forth in health and fall back in gluttony. Happiness gives way to anger or sadness before surging back with gusto. Motivation, likewise, flashes forth with brilliant light and then fades to barely a flicker. The pattern of human life.

 

So, how do we deal with these patterns? Do we stand on the beach of life and rant at the ocean as it slowly rises around us until we drown? No. Just as oceanfront housing is built with the wind and tide in mind to be able to stand strong at all seasons, we must also build a life that can withstand the tides of life. I am ready to stand forth and begin building that life.

 

I’m 30, female, average in almost every way, and experience life much the same way as everyone else. That is, I am overweight, lazy, eat poorly, and feel dissatisfied in my work. I might plunge into a diet for 8 months and lose 25 pounds. I might purge the kitchen of every scrap of junk food in a blaze of good intentions. But just like the tides flow out to sea, the diet fades in favor of candy, and the kitchen soon hosts an impressive variety of chips.

 

Last year I discovered and subsequently joined, the Nerd Fitness Academy. It was perfect and appealed to the loner bookworm nerd inside. It also really grabbed my inner video game completionist who saw the quests and had to “catch em’ all”. So, great! I jumped in! It was high tide indeed as I tried to juggle the 3 modules with their many quests and articles while introducing new exercises and trying to eat a bit better. I was checking off quests and trying to get as much done as possible.

 

With an approach like that, I’m sure you all know how that ended. As someone in the teaching profession, all progress came to a halt in August. Stress began to pile up. The exercising went first. I stopped taking the time to read the articles and modules online in favor of mindless youtube binging. Teaching is dangerous in that unhealthy food presents itself constantly, either from the teacher’s workroom or from various parties in the classroom. And then it was holiday time! Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, they all took their toll.

 

So, here we are, another year, and another chance to change things. Do I go through the resolutions, the sudden changes to habit, the failures that create other failures? Do I delay things, waiting for the perfect time? I’m tired of doing that, to be honest. Years of trying and failing has gained me nothing. In the Academy I unchecked every quest I had “completed”, knowing it was a hollow trophy. I could try again. Even as late as this morning I was ready to walk that path again, however. Determined to change, but unable to see another way.

 

Until this afternoon. I opened Nerd Fitness Academy. I went to the Module One Intro page. I started to read through the module again, figuring I’d get the early articles read so I could start checking off some quests. But I didn’t get too far. Because I found a sentence that I had previously skimmed over. And it changed everything.

 

Quote

So, start here, complete all the Mindset quests and lessons first – and then move on to the next module.

 

Seems rather mundane, but it was honestly an eye-opening sentence. Previously, I had been working on all three of the modules at the same time! Mindset, Nutrition, and Fitness. And yet here was the first page of the first module telling me I didn't have to do it all at once! This went against the grain. Surely there's no way I should be ignoring what I eat? Shouldn't I purge the kitchen, or at least start logging all of the crumbs that made it into my mouth during the day? Shouldn't I start the exercise routines, and buy some fancy equipment? It's the New Year! Don't I need to radically change several habits at once in order to suddenly become the best version of myself in a short amount of time?

 

I speak sarcastically to be dramatic, but it was truly an arresting moment. Suddenly I understood that the Academy was serious about changing default habits. I've read so many posts here on the forums. I see people doing amazing things - lifting weights twice my size, cooking meals that sound like they should be in a book, even losing weight - and I wanted to do that too. Let's face it, the internet is the perfect medium for comparison. Compare your life, your habits, your progress, or your lack of progress, to hundreds of others at the mere click of a button. I fell into the trap. I needed to do more. I needed to be more. Change everything so I too could feel the fulfillment that others seemed to have in such abundance.

 

I thought I was going slow, just like all of the guides and articles said to in order to change your life. Turns out I was speeding along trying to catch the Jones'. That one sentence in the Academy article tore away the blinders. I must change my approach to this. The mind and habits must be first, before food, before exercise, before anything else. Above all else, though, there is no more lone wolf inclination. This battle log will serve to document not only the changes in my lifestyle habits but will also serve to start and build the habit of sharing. Of learning that it's okay to share myself and do so in a way that doesn't compare me to anyone else. It's going to be a long journey. I know my devotion to this will rise and fall, and that my weight and health will do the same. But that's why I changed my username. The tides are the natural, and so are the emotional changes of life. Let me embrace them rather than fight. Let's get started!

 

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Battle Log of the Tides

January 1, 2019

 

* Quest Completed - Respawn *

 

Starting weight: 183.2 pounds

Ideal weight: 135ish

 

Current Objective: Restart the Academy - Mindset Module

 

Today's Thoughts: This battle log will serve as the public log of my journey through the NF Academy. I will be working through the Mindset module first before doing anything else. I will continue certain habits that I had already started last year (at least those that stuck) such as morning walks six mornings a week. I do plan on also creating and completing the forum challenges, but those will be separate from this log. In time I will be posting things such as training logs, food logs, new habits, and other thoughts here. I hope to get into the habit of posting more elsewhere in the forum as well, and not being such a lurker. 

 

[Tides]

The tide is ebbing today. Schools head back tomorrow and today was a teacher work day. I got a lot of things accomplished, but I'm also exhausted and kind of dreading going back. It's a draining group of kids and I know the transition back to the routine is going to be rough. Thank goodness we only have two days this week.

[Sloth the Enduring]

What do you teach? I do 6th grade science and every fall my fitness habits die too.