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Terinatum

The Return of Terinatum - aka tiny steps commence

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Hi All,

It has been quite a while since I last challenged myself here at NF and I feel like it's time to write my activities down again.

Backstory

I was running, lifting, and eating fairly well with NF’s massive help back between 2013 into some of '16 when my back (already bad) gave out and running was taken off the table. {Mind you, just writing that made me think to myself that "running was taken from me" which implies that a good deal of my resentment is still keeping me pinned down to what used to be.} So that is why I'm here again. That and I love this community!

I gained back 70 pounds of the 91 that I lost. It was really tough to love myself through this. I wasn’t willing or able to really look at me so I left NF and my goals far behind. Through another two years of therapy and several really tough but GOOD life decisions, I have come to a time where I am willing to chance a fail or two in hopes that I find another passion (not that it has to be as awesome as running was for me) that keeps my eyes looking forward and able to see the present for what it is, not what I demand it to be.

 

So…

Goals

 

1.) consume 12 oz of Dr Pepper or less each day.

I am kinda doing this now but without much ‘goings on’ in my days, it can be tough to grab another to satisfy the empty place inside. Which of course it doesn’t even do that so go figure the human mind!

 

2.) get outside and walk (any time or distance) at least 4 times/week.

Not entirely sure where I should put the times/week on this one. I know everyday would only set me up to fail so that’s out. And twice seemed too easy, I think. So I’ll give this two weeks and adjust if need be for the second half of the challenge.

 

3.) Water, Water, Water Drink 40 oz per day

This is really important. It’s tough for me to drink water after I’ve had a DP so if I can’t make this happen on a regular basis than DP will have to go. It has to anyway, but I don’t want to start with that this time. Although, funny. It was one of my first goals here at NF back in Feb 2013. Ha!

 

Life) Draw

I have a drawing class starting on the 7th which I’m psyched about so this should help me add to a weekly amount of drawing. I will also be doing maps for my worldbuilding. So, drawing every day! Yup, I said it. EVERY DAY!!! I can do this, I just have to realize that it’s what I want. Which it is. This goal is about ‘doing’ the regular thing. I think starting a habit with a life goal is better as I’m less likely to judge myself harshly if I slip up.

 

OKAY

I’m Back!

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Thanks All,

It feels good to be back to putting my health ahead of other... things (people).

 

Well, already I have to edit my goals - FOR GREAT REASONS!!

I'm no longer drinking Dr Pepper, this is day 4. AND I'm not eating candy, this is day three. WOW.

 

NEW Goal:

No Candy and if I slip, I HAVE TO GET BACK ON THE WAGON QUICKLY. If I wait, I'm usually doomed for another 5 or 6 months before I try again.

 

Walk: today I did 2 walks, 1 with my backpack and groceries on the way back from drawing class. Plus it was a bit chilly today.

 

Water: approx. 5 cups so far today

 

Drawing: first drawing class, just got back.

 

DAY 1 - 100%

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Hi All,

 

I just finished a great visit with a friend I haven't seen in years. I'm exhausted but happy to have had time with her.

Drawing class was good. We tested our abilities around one-point perspective and I did alright although I went more linear than full drawing. I want to work on that this week before next class. So tonight I will be trying some perspective drawing.

 

Tuesday's Goals:

No Dr Pepper - CHECK

No Candy - CHECK

Walk - CHECK

Water - around 5 cups

Drawing - CHECK

 

Today's Goals:

No Dr Pepper - CHECK

No Candy - no check (3 candy bars today - emotional exhaustion certainly played a part) ONWARD!

Walk - CHECK

Water - not enough, but I think I can get to 4 cups before bedtime

Drawing - not yet, but will do this evening.

 

Feeling pretty good so far with having an NF Challenge. I hope to stay with it no matter how I do. If I can do that, I can build some consistency into my day around "looking" at my health in a concrete way instead of a purely emotional one (the kind I never let myself be happy with).

Cheers!

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Checks and almost checks, looking pretty good.  I love one point perspective.  Probably because it makes arts more programmatic :)  Creativity for me is very methodical :) 

 

You better stay this time around, I will try my best to stay around this time too!  We need the most help when we are have problems, so even if you aren't meeting your challenges, being mindful of these short term goals are reminders to get back on track.  Without order, everything leads to chaos :)

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Thanks B.

 

Yeah, two fail days but I'm not feeling overly judgmental against myself which is a nice change. The decision to quit DP altogether and do no candy was in response to a letter I received (in my head, a year late). It was a good epiphany moment for me to stop hurting myself to keep others happy, but...

But reality being what it is, I needlessly jumped into the deep end with my enthusiasm. Not a bad thing but not sustainable quite yet. So, back to original goals.

 

Goals:

Thursday, the 10th

No DP/Candy - no check, Dr Pepper - 12 oz Candy - 4 bars

Water - no check, but close, 32 oz

Walk - CHECK, 3 walks in a snowstorm! 1 walk broken in 3 = 1 half and 2 quarter walks

Draw - no check, only digital

 

Friday, the 11th

12 oz DP/day - no check, I had 20 oz (and a candy bar - will likely keep noting these but they are not part of any goal judgment)

Water -  no check yet, working on 4th cup now

Walk: CHECK no walk, but I did uncover my snow-encased car so that counts!

Draw: no check, digital again. Not sure what's keeping me away from the paper...

 

Okay, gotta move my car back now that the plow guy is done. Brrr, it's 8* F out right now. Ah well. G'nite all!

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Goals:

 

Saturday, the 12th

12 oz DP/day - no check, I had 20 oz and a 12 oz (and 3 candy bars)

Water -  CHECK, over 60 oz.

Walk: CHECK

Draw: no check - there's some weird avoidance thing going on...

 

Sunday, the 13th

12 oz DP/day - no check, I had 20 oz and 16 oz (and 5 candy bars)

Water -  CHECK, about 50 oz

Walk: CHECK

Draw: no check

 

Monday, the 14th

12 oz DP/day - no check, I had 20 oz (and 5 candy bars)

Water -  no Check, pretty abysmal today.

Walk: CHECK, tiny but there!

Draw: no Check, I skipped drawing class. Hum...

 

I've been doing alright even with these uneven results. And, even though my arthritis has been really annoying and my neck is really screwed up, my humor is intact and I'm not overly depressed or anxious. Go figure! 

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Well, some time has passed, but I'm still trying to find ground that doesn't shift too much.

 

Goals have mostly gone to shite, but I'm still holding onto the goals themselves. I'm also trying to stay under 4 candy bars per day. 1 Dr Pepper a day is going pretty well all things considered but water has faltered so I'm focusing on that atm. Walking has been tough now that we're getting winter finally. I am enjoying the fresh air which I really appreciate even if I'm not hauling myself around long distances. 

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