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Jett

Jett's New Routine

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We were four in our bed tonight... I don't mind having Selda in the bed, since she's so small. But my temper grows very short when the bigger kids come in to our bed. They're invading on my space, and on my sleep, and I don't like that at all! 

 

While I do sometimes sleep on the couch to not disturb my wife I do much prefer to sleep in the same room as her. I like spending a little time really close to her before falling asleep. But when I'm ready to actually sleep I usually roll over on to my side of our king size bed, where I have my own comforter and pillow

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20 hours ago, Jean said:

Did you use to sleep very well while in the same bed as your wife or has it always been more or less this way?

 

When we first got married my sleep was very bad because I was not at all used to sharing a bed! Over time I got more used to it, but it still has an impact. I didn't realize how much until we slept apart this year, though. For a while, before we moved, we had 2 twin mattresses on the floor, pushed together. I slept okay, then, but not great because the mattresses were very old. (We were quite poor then...) When we moved into our current house, it was largely furnished, including a queen bed, because we were taking over from my grandmother who lived there right before us. So we started using that queen bed, but the frame was very wobbly. Any movement from either person would make the whole bed shake. In retrospect, I should have just put the queen mattress on the floor. It would have at least removed one problem.

 

16 hours ago, Tobbe said:

I like spending a little time really close to her before falling asleep. But when I'm ready to actually sleep I usually roll over on to my side of our king size bed, where I have my own comforter and pillow

 

I do like spending the time right before going to sleep with my wife. I think it creates a certain feeling of emotional closeness that started to become lacking after a few months of sleeping apart. The queen bed was too small for us, though. I need to be not touched by anything/anyone (except blankets) when I'm falling asleep, which was almost impossible with the queen bed. And we were always fighting over the blankets... Our original plan for replacing the queen was with a king sized mattress on a sturdy frame. But I think that this set up is actually better for us.

 

Schedule update: Did quite well today. Didn't fall back asleep while using the sun lamp, which means I actually had enough time for a full walk. Tomorrow I have to leave early to drop the car off for maintenance, so we'll have to do our walk in the evening.

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Regarding the blankets, the best expense last year was a giant blanket 240cmx220cm (7,9x7,2 feet).

So good if you use one bed (we have a 6,6x5,9 feet bed, I think this is super king size?). But I am thinking of sleeping in the guest bed (queen size) to test it. But I don't want to miss the great blanket :D  And also the guest bed is a bit... squeaky and has a thin cheap matress on it.

I also hate it to cuddle while sleeping. I need my space!

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7 hours ago, Jett said:

Schedule update: Did quite well today. Didn't fall back asleep while using the sun lamp, which means I actually had enough time for a full walk. Tomorrow I have to leave early to drop the car off for maintenance, so we'll have to do our walk in the evening.

 

It's great if you can be that flexible! (taking the walk in the evening instead of the morning). Just don't let the change in schedule throw you off though! I've noticed for myself that my "morning" walk was becoming more and more delayed, to the point where it was more of an afternoon walk. Which ment that I never got out on an additional evening walk that I sometimes did when my morning walk was actually a (really early) morning walk

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7 hours ago, Arkania said:

Regarding the blankets, the best expense last year was a giant blanket 240cmx220cm (7,9x7,2 feet).

 

I think we would be constantly fighting over the blanket if we had that :)  I like to have my own blanket and pillow.

 

One investment we've done though that I'm happy about is a big thin (3 inches thick) mattress that goes across both separate bottom mattresses of our bed so that you can't feel the gap between them. Before we had that one of us always ended up sleeping in the gap, and that was not very comfortable :) 

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On 1/5/2019 at 11:10 AM, Arkania said:

I would love to have my own bedroom :D

At the moment it's ok when bf goes to bed when I get u0p, but in the future I think we will have two bedrooms. I better sleep alone (and without someone who is snoring ;) ).

That is the main reason why I go to bed more than an hour later than my wife.

She has trouble falling asleep, and can't fall asleep at all when I'm snoring next to her. On the other hand, I fall asleep within seconds. So I only go to bed when I'm pretty sure she's already asleep. :)

 

The snoring is not so loud anymore now that I lost some weight, so maybe there's hope for us going to bed at the same time again? :P

Although I usually still have sports highlights to watch when she goes to bed. Innocent.png

 

On 1/8/2019 at 6:33 AM, Tobbe said:

We were four in our bed tonight... I don't mind having Selda in the bed, since she's so small. But my temper grows very short when the bigger kids come in to our bed. They're invading on my space, and on my sleep, and I don't like that at all! 

I know the feeling. My daughter only gets in bed with us when she's had a nightmare, but for my son it's almost a habit. He awakens at a random time in the night, gets up and crawls between us. Almost every single night...

 

On 1/8/2019 at 6:33 AM, Tobbe said:

While I do sometimes sleep on the couch to not disturb my wife I do much prefer to sleep in the same room as her. I like spending a little time really close to her before falling asleep. But when I'm ready to actually sleep I usually roll over on to my side of our king size bed, where I have my own comforter and pillow

The missus very much prefers to sleep in the same room as me (it enhances her feeling of us as a couple). There was a period of several months where I mostly slept on the couch because I'd been diagnosed with sleep apnea (and was snoring extremely loudly) and was awaiting surgery for it. That wasn't the best time for our relationship.

I'm more flexible than her - I'll sleep anywhere.

 

 

And all this is before we're factoring in that she's really a "morning person" - early to bed, early to rise, immediately awake and alert - while I'm an "evening person" - late to bed, late to rise, grumpy morning mood.

 

 

Sleeping together can be quite the adventure. :D

 

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7 hours ago, Tobbe said:

think we would be constantly fighting over the blanket if we had that

I thought that too but this blanket is sooo big, it works well. Before that we had two. And everyone has his own two pillows. And we had 2 matresses but now we have one big one and that's great too.

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13 hours ago, Tobbe said:

Just don't let the change in schedule throw you off though! I've noticed for myself that my "morning" walk was becoming more and more delayed, to the point where it was more of an afternoon walk.

 

This is what I noticed with my "lunch" walk. I would either wait too long after lunch, and end up rushing in a walk after work, or I'd actually delay my lunch because I didn't want to walk afterward. Or really, more that the concept of "eat lunch and walk" felt like a lot of stuff to do when I was in the middle of something at work and didn't want to take a break yet. Now that I'm walking in the morning before I leave for work, there's a relatively hard cutoff that I have to complete the walk by. The downside being, of course, that sometimes the walk isn't very long because of that.

 

Today, I had to walk from the mechanic to my office, just down the street. It was only about a 10 minute walk, but I had kind of forgotten that I'd be doing that. My wife and I agreed that she'll just do her own walk sometime today, and that's our walking for the day.

 

6 hours ago, TimovieMan said:

The missus very much prefers to sleep in the same room as me (it enhances her feeling of us as a couple). There was a period of several months where I mostly slept on the couch because I'd been diagnosed with sleep apnea (and was snoring extremely loudly) and was awaiting surgery for it. That wasn't the best time for our relationship.

 

It's interesting, but sleeping in the same room really does seem to enhance the relationship. Even if you're not in the same bed! Although, last night, my wife moved back to her chair because the old mattress was really hurting her back. That should only be for one or two more nights, though.

 

@TimovieMan have you tried a CPAP machine for snoring and sleep apnea? My wife has sleep apnea, but with the CPAP she doesn't snore at all, and the gentle white noise of the machine is actually pretty nice.

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1 hour ago, Jett said:

 

@TimovieMan have you tried a CPAP machine for snoring and sleep apnea? My wife has sleep apnea, but with the CPAP she doesn't snore at all, and the gentle white noise of the machine is actually pretty nice.

I had surgery, a uvulopalatopharyngoplasty or UPPP for short.

They basically took out my tonsils, my uvula and some of the soft palate.

 

For those contemplating that type of surgery: I do NOT recommend it.

It may have helped with the sleep apnea, but it didn't really help with the snoring. My taste took almost half a year to return to normal. My "R" is no longer pronounced like it used to be (I had a French "R") and I can't do any of those guttural sounds any more, etc. The worst is probably that the lack of tissue to block my esophagus means I have uncontrolled buildups of saliva in it which occasionally cause me to hang over the sink or the toilet while I'm basically coughing/puking up spittle (which hurts since my gag reflex isn't what it used to be either).

 

According to my doctor, almost everyone she knows that had a UPPP has the same complaints about it, which makes her wonder why they still perform it in the first place.

If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have done it.

 

And that's even without mentioning that the operation had me living off liquids for a week (with lots of liquid yoghurt, porridge, pudding and other dairy products), and that such a dairy overload caused me to have kidney stones (which hurt far more than anything to do with the surgery ever did)...

 

 

 

My dad has a CPAP machine, btw. After I was diagnosed, my dad and my uncle (who both have snoring issues as well) had themselves tested too and were found to also suffer from sleep apnea. So it runs in the family.

My daughter's at risk too, she can snore like an adult and she's only 5...

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I've been on the new routine for about a week now... I'm going to repost my ideal schedule here to refer to while I write my comments.

 

8:00 AM: Wake up. Turn on sun lamp.

8:30 AM: Go for walk.

9:00 AM: Leave for work.

1:00 PM: Lunch (30 min) - Do DuoLingo.

6:30 PM: Head home (arrive ~7:15).

7:30 PM: Eat dinner.

8:00 PM: Exercise in some way (yoga? lifting?) - no screens after this (or use glasses).

10:00 PM: Take melatonin. Get ready for bed.

11:00 PM: Bed time.

 

It feels like it's gotten a little easier to get up in the morning, and go to bed on time at night. I think I fall asleep a little bit faster, although I'm not at my ideal situation of falling asleep almost as soon as my head hits the pillow. I've been getting into bed around 11:30pm, then playing on my phone (using the blue light blocking glasses) for around an hour until I feel very sleepy. Then it still takes a little while for me to fall asleep, so I'm probably getting 7 hours right now. Physically getting out of bed when the alarm goes off is still a struggle, but I recognize that it's a foundational habit that will allow me to reach my other goals. So I'm working on that.

 

I've noticed that I often forget to do a chore until my 10pm melatonin reminder goes off. Then I'm running around trying to hurry up and finish whatever it is (take out the trash, scoop the kitty litter, or whatever else) instead of winding down for sleep. I think I need to set a warning alarm at maybe 9:45 so that I can wrap up the chores before it's time to take melatonin and get ready for bed.

 

I haven't started an evening exercise habit, nor am I currently doing much with a gratitude practice. I did get a journal for writing rants and daily gratitude in, but I've barely used it so far. I do plan to slowly introduce these additional habits into my routine as the key points become more established. Maybe I can make a rule about not using my phone after my shower, and writing in my journal instead.

 

The biggest struggle I've had so far has been entirely about mindset. I keep bumping into thoughts about "I don't like mornings", "I hate getting up before 8am", "I'm a night owl", and "I don't want to go to sleep before midnight." In short, my brain doesn't want to accept doing more things in the morning and not staying up so late. It doesn't help much that most of my online friends are also night owls. Going to bed early means talking to them less. I think I need more role models who are early risers.

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Oh, and I decided what my prize will be if I successfully stick to my new routine (with an undefined definition of "success" ;)). I am going to buy two of the supplemental D&D handbooks, with lots of new player character options and flavor text for worldbuilding. They're on sale on Amazon right now for $20 each.

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5 hours ago, Jett said:

Then I'm running around trying to hurry up and finish whatever it is (take out the trash, scoop the kitty litter, or whatever else) instead of winding down for sleep. I think I need to set a warning alarm at maybe 9:45 so that I can wrap up the chores before it's time to take melatonin and get ready for bed.

Okay.  YES!!  I need to do this too!  I usually spend more time saying, "I need to get ready for bed" than it take to actually GET READY FOR BED!!  And like you, I run around the house doing all my evening things and then get all wound up and can't fall asleep when I'd like to.  

 

So with that - I'm off to actually get ready for bed!  :D 

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15 hours ago, TimovieMan said:

I had surgery, a uvulopalatopharyngoplasty or UPPP for short.

They basically took out my tonsils, my uvula and some of the soft palate.

 

For those contemplating that type of surgery: I do NOT recommend it.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your horrible experiences with the surgery :(  Really sucks!

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12 hours ago, Jett said:

8:00 AM: Wake up. Turn on sun lamp.

8:30 AM: Go for walk.

9:00 AM: Leave for work.

1:00 PM: Lunch (30 min) - Do DuoLingo.

6:30 PM: Head home (arrive ~7:15).

7:30 PM: Eat dinner.

8:00 PM: Exercise in some way (yoga? lifting?) - no screens after this (or use glasses).

10:00 PM: Take melatonin. Get ready for bed.

11:00 PM: Bed time.

 

I don't see any NF-forum time in this :(  (or computer gaming, Netflix etc). How do you plan to fit fun activities in to your schedule?

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7 hours ago, Tobbe said:

I don't see any NF-forum time in this :(  (or computer gaming, Netflix etc). How do you plan to fit fun activities in to your schedule?

 

Well, I do most of my NF posting during breaks at work. And that's when I end up talking to most of my online friends these days, too. The hour and a half between the end of "exercise" and "get ready for bed" is when I have my free time to do fun things. That, and weekends.

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7 minutes ago, Jett said:

 

Well, I do most of my NF posting during breaks at work. And that's when I end up talking to most of my online friends these days, too. The hour and a half between the end of "exercise" and "get ready for bed" is when I have my free time to do fun things. That, and weekends.

 

Thumbs Up

 

Happy to hear that you still make time for these things as well. They're important too!

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That's a good point. I do sometimes suffer from feeling like I have no time for myself, even though I objectively have 1.5 hours a day for 5 days a week, and 10-12 hours a day on most weekends. Probably because after dinner, my wife and I have a habit of just watching TV or YouTube until bed time. That eats that time up quickly! And it's fine for sometimes - it can be a nice bonding activity. Last night we watched dumb Vines and laughed until we hurt ourselves.

 

But I should make a point to work on things that I want to do as hobbies during some of those evenings. Maybe gaming, too. Hobbies and gaming are what I feel like I don't have time for anymore. Well, that an exercise, but I'm working on that!

 

Maybe a revised schedule should look more like this:

 

8:00 AM: Wake up. Turn on sun lamp.

8:30 AM: Go for walk.

9:00 AM: Leave for work.

1:00 PM: Lunch (30 min) - Do DuoLingo.

6:30 PM: Head home (arrive ~7:15).

7:30 PM: Exercise in some way (yoga? lifting?).

8:00 PM: Eat dinner.

8:30 PM: Free time (TV, hobbies, art, gaming) - use blue light blocking glasses

10:00 PM: Take melatonin. Get ready for bed.

11:00 PM: Bed time.

 

I swapped dinner and exercise because I realized that exercising on a full stomach was likely to go poorly. That just means I need to remember to eat a snack before I head home.

 

Oh, and update on the routine: today I woke up at 8 and felt really tired, even though I actually went to bed a little early last night. I decided to sleep in for about an hour, and just be a little late to work. I could tell that my wife really wanted a longer walk, though, so I suggested that she continue on without me after I'd walked a short distance.

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Got up early enough to do a full walk today. Feels good. :)

I was lying there, trying to convince myself to get up, as usual... then my wife came in and said "I'm going on walk at 8:30 with or without you." That was motivating!

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How did the routine go over the week end? Not terrible. I actually got to bed around midnight each night. Slept in somewhat, until 10:30ish, but for me that's barely sleeping in at all for a weekend!

 

I got up extra early this morning so I could go get blood drawn for lab work before I went to the office. It was a rainy day, so not very many people were motivated to be at the doctor's office at 8 am. I had barely any wait!

 

Made a mistake in getting a donut and coffee afterwards as celebration. That combination wrecked my guts, even though I took lactaid. (Sorry for the TMI lol.) I think I need to make a point of not eating anything dairy until lunch, especially since I usually drink coffee in the morning.

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Yesterday was the first day since the challenge start that I didn't go for a walk. However, between my morning routine being disrupted from going to the doctor, and the driving rain that came down all day, I'm not holding it against myself.

 

For the last couple of days, the part of the schedule that has been the most difficult has been, surprisingly, lunch time. I have been putting it off until very late in the day. I am getting the hunger signals from my body, but ignoring them. The main reason seems to be that I get into what I'm working on, and don't want to lose my train of thought. I'm supposed to take a half-hour lunch, but I don't want to stop for that long. Finally, around 2-3pm, I can feel the need for food starting to impact my ability to think and concentrate, and sometimes I get dizzy. Then I force myself to go get lunch.

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Didn't get to bed on time because I needed to run some Wordpress updates for a client in off hours. I totally forgot about it until bed time! So I didn't get to sleep until after 12:30. Despite that, I got up on time when my alarm went off. Thought about laying back down, but I didn't. We even got a short walk in this morning, before the rain started coming down again. The 3 minutes when the sun was showing through the clouds were the best in the last few days!

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Got to sleep in a little today, because I had a doctor's appointment at 11am, and didn't have to go in to work until after that. Debated about getting up at the normal time or not, but felt like I needed the extra sleep. Also, it was raining really hard, so we skipped the walk. I hope it stops raining this evening so we can make it up then. So, I guess my new routine has been "slipping" a little. I don't want to lose the habits, so I need to be more careful about sticking to it for a few days. I guess that means walking in the rain if it doesn't stop soon. :(

 

Also, I still haven't learned my lesson about eating something with butter/dairy in it while drinking coffee. One of these days I'll realize the consequences aren't worth the moment of gratification. But that day has not yet come.

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