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Rhovaniel

Rhovaniel: A year of Questing, part I

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A Year of Questing 

 

Anyone following @jonfirestar @Charlie_Quinn or @Jarric's threads will probably be tired of hearing about the crazy plans we have for this year. We're all aiming to qualify for the OCR World Championships at Oblivion. Also, @jonfirestar and I will be taking on the challenge that is Man v Lakes:

 

 

 

I am excited by these Quests I have chosen to undertake for myself. They scare me. They make me question my sanity. But they also fill me with fire and enthusiasm and courage. I was talking to the above rangers about how my mindset has changed lately. I am starting to see myself as an athlete in training, someone who is working towards those quests and goals, not the bumbling person who 'can't do those obstacles' or aim at getting a decent time. Until I was told in no uncertain terms that I wasn't allowed to anymore, I didn't even call myself a runner. The change in my headspace has been one of the things that surprised me most, that I cherish most. The confidence, but also the freedom. It's a liberating feeling, believing in myself, and all this time it's been me that held me back. 

 

 

As well as moving forward, I am also looking to reclaim what I've let slide. Writing, reading - those pursuits that I loved so much, treasured so much, and somehow let fall as other things, not all of them fun, like work and other stresses, take over. So, I have another challenge this year: To read the alphabet in books. That is, 26 books, but starting with an 'A' title till I get to 'Z'. This will challenge me to find new reads, books I might not have noticed or looked at before. 

 

Of course, this is a 4 week challenge and not the year as a whole, so we need to break this down a little. They are not SMART goals, I'm afraid, but hey, I'm a ranger. And that means that I am also a rebel ;) 

 

This Challenge forms Part I of my epic Year of Questing and consists of the following 3 goals: 

 

1. Finish reading 'All the Light we cannot see' by Anthony Doerr. I started it a few days ago. So far, I'm really enjoying it. 

 

2. Stick to my Food Goals - This means 1800 calories on non-training days and 2200 on training days. 150g carbs a day and 50g MAX of sugar a day. 

 

3. Train smart - I have just got the go ahead to train again, and I will do anything to avoid injury again. So, whilst I need to put the hours in and knuckle down, I will also be taking note of what my body is telling me, so that I don't do something stupid again. This is hard, because I don't like the middle ground very often. I like to go full throttle on things... 

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Here to follow and constantly remind you of this if you forget:

53 minutes ago, Rhovaniel said:

an athlete in training, someone who is working towards those quests and goals

 

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1 hour ago, Rhovaniel said:

not the bumbling person who 'can't do those obstacles'

 

No bumbling going on there :) 

 

Every time I see that video for MvL it inspires me! I'm struck with the awe of it and then the realisation of 'I did that!' I really cannot wait to do it again. 

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Following for sure :) And also:

 

1 hour ago, Rhovaniel said:

I am excited by these Quests I have chosen to undertake for myself. They scare me. They make me question my sanity. But they also fill me with fire and enthusiasm and courage. I was talking to the above rangers about how my mindset has changed lately. I am starting to see myself as an athlete in training, someone who is working towards those quests and goals, not the bumbling person who 'can't do those obstacles' or aim at getting a decent time. Until I was told in no uncertain terms that I wasn't allowed to anymore, I didn't even call myself a runner. The change in my headspace has been one of the things that surprised me most, that I cherish most. The confidence, but also the freedom. It's a liberating feeling, believing in myself, and all this time it's been me that held me back. 

 

This makes me very happy to read, let me just say. 

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Wow, how wonderful to read that Rho, got goosebumps actually. Makes me so proud to see you getting strong, not just physically, but mentally too. You are boss and im honoured to know you. 

 

Maybe this year we will meet up sometime too xx

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6 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

Following for sure :) And also:

 

 

This makes me very happy to read, let me just say. 

It makes me very happy, too! And I am so glad you're here. 

 

6 hours ago, Salinger said:

Wow, how wonderful to read that Rho, got goosebumps actually. Makes me so proud to see you getting strong, not just physically, but mentally too. You are boss and im honoured to know you. 

 

Maybe this year we will meet up sometime too xx

Thank you Sal! And hopefully! It would be great to meet you :) 

 

6 hours ago, Kestrel Grey said:

You're on my ever-growing list of Rangers I want to be when I grow up.

Annnnnnd… I'm blushing! Thank you!

 

 

 

Well, the challenge doesn't start properly till the 7th, I think, but in the interests of accountability and you know, staying present, I'll post a little update:

 

Zero Week, Friday

 

1. Read the Alphabet  - I'm a good way into the book now. Things are happening, nothing yet but I feel that bad things are coming, and I may well need a happy book after this one! B has already been selected, but C might need a brighter tone. I have also decided to have one small caveat with this goal: The word 'the' at the start of a title doesn't count, the next word counts as the letter. Mainly because looking at my bookshelf of unread tomes, I'd be losing out on a number of possibilities, because authors like to start book titles with 'The'. 

 

2. Food goals - I failed this on carbs, mainly because I accidently underrate and when I got home, tired and hungry after a day of underfuelling and then dealing with my car issues and I mindlessly ate some shortbread before giving myself a mental slap and going off to make my dinner of lamb steak, broccoli and cauliflower. MFP also says I hit 1614 calories. I think that's probably a little low, but not wildly off. Which means I underrate by 200 ish calories. FAIL. It's a fail because whilst I do need to lose some weight, to improve my power to weight ratio, I need to fuel myself properly. Better planning needed. 

 

3. Training - I was planning pull ups and a recovery run tonight but did neither. Sucks to say that. But my car took up way more of my time and energy than I expected. Which normally would not be an excuse, and isn't, except that I had a couple of other admin things I had to sort out at home that couldn't be put off. 

 

Today, goal wise, has not been a successful day. But you know what, I'm not mad at myself ( ok, a little mad that the shortbread happened). I am learning. I learned today that under-fuelling is not only bad, but something that I need to keep an eye on rather than assume I'm always in danger of over-eating, that I need to purge the last of the Christmas junk food from the house, and I am learning that I can face challenges and not freak out and let myself eat bad things out of self-pity and the why not, just once mentality. On my way home from work, after a couple journeys to the garage to pay an expensive repairs bill, dropping off the courtesy car in the next town and then getting taken back to the garage to collect my car, I had such an urge to stop off at my local KFC and get takeout for dinner. I started to debate with myself and then - I shut it down. Part of me just stood up and said 'I am not this person anymore and we don't do this.' Sadly, that lasted as far as me seeing the biscuit tin. But it's nice to know she's there, and she's got my back. I just need to make sure that I've got hers!

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It's so good to see you accepting and believing how much you are capable of, I'm actually really excited to see what you achieve! Following of course.

 

11 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

Today, goal wise, has not been a successful day. But you know what, I'm not mad at myself ( ok, a little mad that the shortbread happened).

 

Well the shortbread happened, but don't get mad at that either. Get even and say "never two in a row".

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On 1/4/2019 at 9:13 AM, Rhovaniel said:

I am excited by these Quests I have chosen to undertake for myself. They scare me. They make me question my sanity. But they also fill me with fire and enthusiasm and courage. I was talking to the above rangers about how my mindset has changed lately. I am starting to see myself as an athlete in training, someone who is working towards those quests and goals, not the bumbling person who 'can't do those obstacles' or aim at getting a decent time. Until I was told in no uncertain terms that I wasn't allowed to anymore, I didn't even call myself a runner. The change in my headspace has been one of the things that surprised me most, that I cherish most. The confidence, but also the freedom. It's a liberating feeling, believing in myself, and all this time it's been me that held me back. 

 

I agree with everyone else, this is the paragraph that I've been dying to read ever since I started following you. I know we all keep telling you how much you've grown and how proud we are of you, and hopefully you don't feel like a little kid getting patted on the head at a family reunion ... but the truth is that you've got a glow of confidence that has cranked up to 11 in brightness, and we're all just so darn happy to get blinded by it, because we always knew it was there. 

 

I'm so excited to see what you learn and accomplish in this challenge!!  <3

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So happy that you are gaining confidence in yourself. I think one of the best things about really working out and training is that it does translate over to other areas of our lives. And NF and the Rangers do an awesome job at building confidence.

 

I loved " All the Light We Cannot See" The writng style was so beautiful, and the story so well told. Great choice for an A book!

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On 1/4/2019 at 4:13 PM, Rhovaniel said:

So, I have another challenge this year: To read the alphabet in books. That is, 26 books, but starting with an 'A' title till I get to 'Z'. This will challenge me to find new reads, books I might not have noticed or looked at before. 

That's an interesting approach to reading :)

Can't wait to read what you and the Beastly Brave Brits (is that ok?) are up to for this year.

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On ‎1‎/‎4‎/‎2019 at 11:20 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Following. It's been so amazing to watch you grow as you have done these last few years.

Thank you, and glad to have you, Sir Tank!

 

On ‎1‎/‎5‎/‎2019 at 9:43 AM, Jarric said:

It's so good to see you accepting and believing how much you are capable of, I'm actually really excited to see what you achieve! Following of course.

 

 

Well the shortbread happened, but don't get mad at that either. Get even and say "never two in a row".

Thanks Jarric. You're right. It happened, no point getting mad at myself. Just got to keep moving.

 

8 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

 

I agree with everyone else, this is the paragraph that I've been dying to read ever since I started following you. I know we all keep telling you how much you've grown and how proud we are of you, and hopefully you don't feel like a little kid getting patted on the head at a family reunion ... but the truth is that you've got a glow of confidence that has cranked up to 11 in brightness, and we're all just so darn happy to get blinded by it, because we always knew it was there. 

 

I'm so excited to see what you learn and accomplish in this challenge!!  <3

Thank you Sky. That means a lot. I'll admit, I had a confidence wobble today when climbing, but that's precisely why I surround myself - online and in person - which such awesome people that encourage and inspire me to overcome it and push harder. 

 

8 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

So happy that you are gaining confidence in yourself. I think one of the best things about really working out and training is that it does translate over to other areas of our lives. And NF and the Rangers do an awesome job at building confidence.

 

I loved " All the Light We Cannot See" The writng style was so beautiful, and the story so well told. Great choice for an A book!

Thanks EG. I agree, working out and seeing what your body can do, learning to listen to it and also when to push past the usual 'I'm tired, I can't' signals  (okay, I'm a very slow learner at this, but still) seems to translate over into 'what else can I push myself to do?'. 

 

I love the book so far. It's beautiful.

 

5 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

That's an interesting approach to reading :)

Can't wait to read what you and the Beastly Brave Brits (is that ok?) are up to for this year.

I thought it might give me a bit of structure as well as adventure, rather than just setting myself a number to hit and pulling books off the shelf at will. Because when I tend to do that, I get paralysed by choice. When I run out of books on holiday and need to make a emergency visit to a bookshop (emergency visits are totally a thing), I'm that person who can spend a good hour or more debating which to get. And then I'll usually walk out with an armful. I love it, but I inevitably end up with a mountain of unread volumes in the bookcase. 

 

 

Anyway, an update:

 

Zero Week, Saturday 

 

1. Read the Alphabet  -  Read for about an hour yesterday. I'm hoping to keep up a daily reading streak. 

 

2. Food goals - Yesterday was D&D, and I really struggled to make good choices amid the pizza and Chinese takeaway that the others got. I got a small pizza bread from the supermarket, and had it with some baked chicken thighs. I made a stir-fry with coconut milk for dinner. But I did have a biscuit and some Halo Top ice-cream, and two apples. Not bad considering how much I wanted the bad stuff. I somehow made it within my calorie limits though, with MFP showing 1738 calories. It also shows 190g carbs. Dammit. I need to plan better! 

 

3. Training - Pull up practise. Considering that I had a break from this over Xmas and New Year when I was away and had no access to a pull up bar, I'm happy with where I was. I don't seem to have regressed at all.

 

Zero Week, Sunday

 

1. Read the Alphabet - Read a little this morning, will probably read for a bit before bed again. 

 

2. Food goals - It's only 4pm, so I'll have to update this one tomorrow. But so far, I'm on track. 

 

3. Training - The climbing this afternoon went well. I had a couple of confidence wobbles, but being surrounded by the awesome rangers that are @Charlie_Quinn and @jonfirestar really helped me to get over that and try again and again at problems a few weeks ago, I would have written off as beyond me. I didn't get all of the ones I attempted, but I did get others, and that's what matters. Especially, as on one problem with tiny holds, I had a real moment of fear at the top of the wall that got to me. I just couldn't see where to put my hands or feet next, I didn't feel stable at all on the wall. Each time I attempted it, that fear pulled at me. But I got it, after numerous attempts. 

 

The run I was meant to do this morning did not go well, however, I made it 7 minutes before stopping and sitting on a park bench with an odd pain in my groin/inner thigh that was giving me clear 'Stop!' signals. It didn't ease whilst sitting there, so I walked/shuffle jogged home and stretched carefully before going to get ready to climb. It seems to be okay now. Climbing probably helped with that, but I'm taking that as a warning. First, don't neglect a proper warm up. Second, I need to work on some anti-fragile protocols. I need to make sure that my body is strong enough to withstand training and recover well. I need to put in place some kind of protocol that means that I minimise the risk of further injury. 

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I love seeing people treating Week Zero as seriously as I do.  Really reinforces that we're a force to be reckoned with when all of this energy builds up and mutually nurtured and then unleashed at the beginning of a New Year and new challenge cycle!  Great work so far, Rho!

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1 hour ago, Rhovaniel said:

I somehow made it within my calorie limits though, with MFP showing 1738 calories. It also shows 190g carbs. Dammit. I need to plan better! 

Hitting predefined macro limits is basically impossible without some real pre-planning going into it. You might need to make some fundamental changes to how you eat in order to hit your carb goal. Honestly I can't even tell you that it's worth it but if you are serious about compliance you will need to make some changes.  The best diet is the one you can comply with. The calorie number is far more important than the carb number in regards to losing weight.

 

2 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

Especially, as on one problem with tiny holds, I had a real moment of fear at the top of the wall that got to me. I just couldn't see where to put my hands or feet next, I didn't feel stable at all on the wall. Each time I attempted it, that fear pulled at me. But I got it, after numerous attempts. 

 

I know you wish you can just make your fear of falling go away but it was never going to be as easy as that :(.

 

That problem was a scary problem. It put you in a position where it felt like you were going to fall. I definitely had my own wobbles up there. You did beat that fear and you beat the problem. 

 

You are doing the right thing. The more you expose yourself to it the better you'll get. I cannot express how far you've come since we ran that first race together. Every single time you went over something remotely high I had to help you over and down. You are not that person any more. I see improvements everytime we do this stuff together but recently I've seen you beat yourself up over having the wobbles. You've got to stop doing that. Acknowledge the fear and throw yourself back in until you overcome it. Just like to you did today. Just like you've been doing all year. 

 

I hope your leg feels better tomorrow! 

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Sounds like a good time climbing in spite of the wobbly moment. And hey, you got it in the end, so that's another step along the road to conquering that fear.

 

4 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

Second, I need to work on some anti-fragile protocols. I need to make sure that my body is strong enough to withstand training and recover well. I need to put in place some kind of protocol that means that I minimise the risk of further injury. 

 

I hear you loud and clear on this one! Easy to neglect, but essential to do.

 

Hopefully the pain in your leg was just a niggly thing rather than any kind of injury, which, if it was fine whilst climbing, sounds like the case.

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You seriously impressed me yesterday. I remember turning around, wondering where you guys were and saw you up the top of the wall on a problem with the tiniest little foot and hand holds! A few weeks ago you wouldn't have even tried that and there you were, bossing it like a badass. It was really great to see. So proud.

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On ‎1‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 4:25 PM, Salinger said:

Amazing job at the climbing wall Rho.... getting over fears is bloody hard but you did it :)

 

xx

Thanks Sal! I'm getting there. Slowly, step by step. 

 

On ‎1‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 6:11 PM, Rurik Harrgath said:

I love seeing people treating Week Zero as seriously as I do.  Really reinforces that we're a force to be reckoned with when all of this energy builds up and mutually nurtured and then unleashed at the beginning of a New Year and new challenge cycle!  Great work so far, Rho!

Thank you! We are collectively unstoppable! And it is glorious to unleash that energy into the new challenge!

 

On ‎1‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 6:38 PM, jonfirestar said:

Hitting predefined macro limits is basically impossible without some real pre-planning going into it. You might need to make some fundamental changes to how you eat in order to hit your carb goal. Honestly I can't even tell you that it's worth it but if you are serious about compliance you will need to make some changes.  The best diet is the one you can comply with. The calorie number is far more important than the carb number in regards to losing weight.

 

I know you wish you can just make your fear of falling go away but it was never going to be as easy as that :(.

 

That problem was a scary problem. It put you in a position where it felt like you were going to fall. I definitely had my own wobbles up there. You did beat that fear and you beat the problem. 

 

You are doing the right thing. The more you expose yourself to it the better you'll get. I cannot express how far you've come since we ran that first race together. Every single time you went over something remotely high I had to help you over and down. You are not that person any more. I see improvements everytime we do this stuff together but recently I've seen you beat yourself up over having the wobbles. You've got to stop doing that. Acknowledge the fear and throw yourself back in until you overcome it. Just like to you did today. Just like you've been doing all year. 

 

I hope your leg feels better tomorrow! 

I know I definitely need to be a little kinder to myself. But on the other hand, that 'suck it up' mentality has definitely helped me push through some tough moments, so it's a hard habit to want to lose. 

 

And thanks - my leg is fine now!

On ‎1‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 8:26 PM, iatetheyeti said:

Sounds like a good time climbing in spite of the wobbly moment. And hey, you got it in the end, so that's another step along the road to conquering that fear.

 

 

I hear you loud and clear on this one! Easy to neglect, but essential to do.

 

Hopefully the pain in your leg was just a niggly thing rather than any kind of injury, which, if it was fine whilst climbing, sounds like the case.

It seems very much to have been just a niggle. But I'm still taking the warning seriously! Thanks Yeti!

 

21 hours ago, Charlie_Quinn said:

You seriously impressed me yesterday. I remember turning around, wondering where you guys were and saw you up the top of the wall on a problem with the tiniest little foot and hand holds! A few weeks ago you wouldn't have even tried that and there you were, bossing it like a badass. It was really great to see. So proud.

Thanks CQ. I definitely think I'm growing, if not in confidence than in sheer will. I will try and try again at puzzles that feel out of my reach, and you guys inspire me to be better. 

 

 

Week One, Monday

 

 

1. Read the Alphabet - No. I got home around 8.40 last night and throwing dinner in the oven and eating took the last ounce of energy out of me. I ate and went straight to bed, so no reading.

 

2. Food Goal - I have never been so unhappy to have (almost) hit this goal. I WANT MY CARBS DAMMIT! I was hungry all day, most of that was poor planning and I just didn't know what to eat. I ended the day on 1933 calories, 167g carbs, 81g sugar. I also ended up inhaling 60g of dark chocolate whilst waiting the 20 minutes for my fish to cook. The sugar is largely from that and the fruit I ate at work. But coaching days are today and Wednesday and I've already decided that I will not be continuing with the low carb thing. If I can't comply with it, it doesn't work for me. 

 

3. Train Smart - CrossFit last night was overhead squats, power snatches, rowing. I have done those before. Not squat snatches that we were working towards, but the regressions I have. But when I picked up that barbell and tried, I felt like crying. It felt like I didn't trust myself not to drop it, I wasn't doing it right, I couldn't do it, etc. I literally stood there staring down at the empty bar trying to hold back tears and get a grip. This has never happened before. I managed it, eventually. I never quite shook off the desire just to walk out and go home. But I also knew that that wasn't what I wanted. I didn't worry about adding weight. I just practised power snatches then overhead squats with it until I shook off the odd storm of emotional blurgh. In the end, our 5 minute WOD was a 500m row and then AMRAP squat snatches or power snatches and overhead squats. I didn't count how many I did, or what my row time was. But I did the workout and that, I think, is what mattered right then.  

 

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5 minutes ago, Rhovaniel said:

I know I definitely need to be a little kinder to myself. But on the other hand, that 'suck it up' mentality has definitely helped me push through some tough moments, so it's a hard habit to want to lose. 

:) you and I both share that 'suck it up' mentality. That really isn't what I'm getting at. It would be a little hypocritical of me tbh since I essentially gave you a pep talk that ended with 'the only choice you have is to do it again'. What I am saying is that you need to be kinder to yourself about having those wobbles. By all means suck it up and do it again. Just don't beat yourself up for having those moments. I don't think I'm making any sense tbh :) I'm really proud of how far you've come. 

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14 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

3. Train Smart - CrossFit last night was overhead squats, power snatches, rowing. I have done those before. Not squat snatches that we were working towards, but the regressions I have. But when I picked up that barbell and tried, I felt like crying. It felt like I didn't trust myself not to drop it, I wasn't doing it right, I couldn't do it, etc. I literally stood there staring down at the empty bar trying to hold back tears and get a grip. This has never happened before. I managed it, eventually. I never quite shook off the desire just to walk out and go home. But I also knew that that wasn't what I wanted. I didn't worry about adding weight. I just practised power snatches then overhead squats with it until I shook off the odd storm of emotional blurgh. In the end, our 5 minute WOD was a 500m row and then AMRAP squat snatches or power snatches and overhead squats. I didn't count how many I did, or what my row time was. But I did the workout and that, I think, is what mattered right then.  

I am so, so proud of you for not quitting and for sticking with that workout. I don't know what happened that made you feel that way, but what's far more important is that you didn't give up. That is the stuff win is made from.

 

Well done.

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18 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

By all means suck it up and do it again. Just don't beat yourself up for having those moments.

 

This is some really solid commentary on exercise and competition, mental health, and life in general actually.

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21 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

I've already decided that I will not be continuing with the low carb thing. If I can't comply with it, it doesn't work for me. 

 

I support this mindset. Each of our bodies is different, and I trust that yours knows what it needs (in moderation). There are lots of good diet plans out there that don't require you to restrict your carbs so severely, if the structure is helpful.  :)  Way to go listening to your body!!

 

21 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

I know I definitely need to be a little kinder to myself. But on the other hand, that 'suck it up' mentality has definitely helped me push through some tough moments, so it's a hard habit to want to lose. 

 

I'm still learning where my boundary is between "I want to quit because I don't feel like it" and "I need to quit because I really cannot do this", but I think that boundary is the difference between knowing when to suck it up and when to let it go. Physically speaking, there's a different feeling in my muscles between a good pain that comes from hard work and the alarm-bells pain that something's not right; but mentally and emotionally, I'm still figuring that out.  :)  Maybe paying really close attention to yourself and finding that boundary could help you know which strategy is best from situation to situation? That is totally not actionable advice, but hopefully helpful.

 

21 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

3. Train Smart - CrossFit last night was overhead squats, power snatches, rowing. I have done those before. Not squat snatches that we were working towards, but the regressions I have. But when I picked up that barbell and tried, I felt like crying. It felt like I didn't trust myself not to drop it, I wasn't doing it right, I couldn't do it, etc. I literally stood there staring down at the empty bar trying to hold back tears and get a grip. This has never happened before. I managed it, eventually. I never quite shook off the desire just to walk out and go home. But I also knew that that wasn't what I wanted. I didn't worry about adding weight. I just practised power snatches then overhead squats with it until I shook off the odd storm of emotional blurgh. In the end, our 5 minute WOD was a 500m row and then AMRAP squat snatches or power snatches and overhead squats. I didn't count how many I did, or what my row time was. But I did the workout and that, I think, is what mattered right then.

 

Way to go working through the emotional cloudburst and getting through your workout!! I'm so proud of you and I hope you got some rest to feel better today!  <3

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20 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

:) you and I both share that 'suck it up' mentality. That really isn't what I'm getting at. It would be a little hypocritical of me tbh since I essentially gave you a pep talk that ended with 'the only choice you have is to do it again'. What I am saying is that you need to be kinder to yourself about having those wobbles. By all means suck it up and do it again. Just don't beat yourself up for having those moments. I don't think I'm making any sense tbh :) I'm really proud of how far you've come. 

I get that. In general, I am getting better at that. But for me, sometimes being kind to myself leads to making excuses for myself, and that's the part I find unacceptable. 

 

7 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I am so, so proud of you for not quitting and for sticking with that workout. I don't know what happened that made you feel that way, but what's far more important is that you didn't give up. That is the stuff win is made from.

 

Well done.

Thanks Tank. Yeah, even I finished that workout thinking 'at least I didn't quit'. 

 

2 hours ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

 

This is some really solid commentary on exercise and competition, mental health, and life in general actually.

It is, and a lot of the mindset shift I still have left to complete revolves around this.

 

1 hour ago, SkyGirl said:

 

I support this mindset. Each of our bodies is different, and I trust that yours knows what it needs (in moderation). There are lots of good diet plans out there that don't require you to restrict your carbs so severely, if the structure is helpful.  :)  Way to go listening to your body!!

 

 

I'm still learning where my boundary is between "I want to quit because I don't feel like it" and "I need to quit because I really cannot do this", but I think that boundary is the difference between knowing when to suck it up and when to let it go. Physically speaking, there's a different feeling in my muscles between a good pain that comes from hard work and the alarm-bells pain that something's not right; but mentally and emotionally, I'm still figuring that out.  :)  Maybe paying really close attention to yourself and finding that boundary could help you know which strategy is best from situation to situation? That is totally not actionable advice, but hopefully helpful.

 

 

Way to go working through the emotional cloudburst and getting through your workout!! I'm so proud of you and I hope you got some rest to feel better today!  <3

Thanks Sky. Dropping the carb thing is definitely making me happier! I felt a lot better yesterday, and today will be even better! 

 

 

Week One, Tuesday

 

1. Read the Alphabet - nope. I really need to make this a priority! 

 

2. Stick to my food goals - I have no idea. I think a hang over from the food stress with carbs led me to something of a disgust of MFP. Temporarily. Inputting what I remember back, it seems like I maybe underrate a little. I'm back tracking today, anyhow. Calling it a fail. 

 

3. Train Smart - Did one of my long runs yesterday. 5 miles in an hour, so my pace was definitely the slow and easy that I was aiming for. For the first 15 minutes, I was making a real effort to be slow, and ended up with all sorts of achy niggles. Paused, quick stretch and tried to run more naturally and not worry, except to what felt comfortable. Much better. No niggles, apart from near the end my hip started to ache, but that went with some stretching and a foam roll afterwards. 5 miles of the 8 done for the mini. 

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14 minutes ago, Rhovaniel said:

I get that. In general, I am getting better at that. But for me, sometimes being kind to myself leads to making excuses for myself, and that's the part I find unacceptable. 

 

That's a bit of a balancing act  I'll admit. My takeaway is that maybe I'm sometimes too easy on you when I'm trying to get you over an obstacle or up a wall :lol:  so less hugs and more yelling? I'm much more of a hardass on myself. I don't like those moments of panic (they happen) and I'm often telling myself to 'suck it up and get it done'. 

 

But yes. You need to keep trying to get comfortable with doing the things that make you uncomfortable. You can very stoically keep throwing yourself at the problem. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that it might lead to a moment of panic and certainly don't use that an excuse for giving up or not trying at all. 

 

2 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

I support this mindset. Each of our bodies is different, and I trust that yours knows what it needs (in moderation). There are lots of good diet plans out there that don't require you to restrict your carbs so severely, if the structure is helpful.  :)  Way to go listening to your body!!

 

In recent years, especially when talking about weight loss, and body composition, I've come to realise that the only useful thing that any diet program actually offers are a set of tools and structure to help ensure compliance and that any 'progress' made during that diet is down to the fact that it forces one to think about what and how they are eating. Within reasonable (look at what you are doing and is this healthy and sensible) parameters everything works and it is far more useful to find what works for you. Other purported health benefits are usually grossly exaggerated and based on some frankly boggling leaps of logic that seem to be based more on belief than they do on fact. IMO, what I think happens is that when someone finds something that works for them they come to believe that they've found the secret and if only everyone else can see it! I don't like that view because it implies that when another person cannot follow that method of eating that the fault is with them (they aren't working hard enough, they don't want it enough) rather than that the diet plan is just not working for them. 

 

I think people are trying to make it far more complicated than it needs to be and add far too much stress and so make it detrimental to their health. They take an already compromised system of eating (because weight loss is just that; there is a huge misconception in our culture that weight loss and healthy are the same thing) and make it even harder. When you add fitness goals to the mix that extra stress then starts to effect your overall recovery and becomes even more detrimental to your health. 

 

:) I can rant for days on this subject tbh. It really frustrates me. I'll stop now. 

 

 

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