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Juliebarkley must collect underpants of her own


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Juliebarkley approached the hill where the underpants gnomes had set up their factory. It had been malfunctioning and spewing underpants all over the landscape. And she had promised to help collect them and return them to the gnomes so that the underpants would be out of the way and gone. And of course, there was still the mysterious "phase two" that needed to be sorted out.

 

Cautiously, she pushed open the door. The gnomes were bustling about as they ever were, singing merrily as they dashed here and there on one important task or another. A familiar gnome, youngish with a thick beard, waved and trotted over. "You're back! Back with lots of underpants? Are we ready to move on to phase two?" He looked so hopeful. So hopeful.

 

She unhooked the sack of underpants from her shoulder and passed it over. "We're getting there, slowly but surely." The gnome beamed. "But phase two ... isn't going so well. I think I need to go back to the drawing board and come up with a new plan."

 

The gnome looked thoughtful for a minute. "Stay here. I'll be right back!" He disappeared behind a mound of cotton briefs before returning with something wrapped in his arms. Something that looked an awful lot like underpants. And indeed, they were underpants, but not like any Julie had ever seen before. These were big and loose enough to fit over the clothes, and covered in pockets of all sizes. There was even a drawstring in the waistband from which more pouches could be hung.

 

The gnome shook out the underpants, smoothed them lovingly, and held them out to Julie. He looked as serious as she had ever seen him. "You have been collecting underpants for us. This is good! But now you must collect some for yourself. For phase two." He stood there and waited for her to put them on.

 

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To quote myself from my previous challenge, "As far as I can tell, the phase between "Collect underpants" and "Profit!" is some combination of making a plan, taking action on that plan, and building habits to maintain progress." As true today as when it was written. However, the plan that I made last time was not a successful one, and I did not make progress on habits. I did make progress towards goals, but it all still requires that willpower work that makes everything fall apart when things get busy or I am tired and just don't wanna.

 

I started reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, and I am realizing that the way that I have been setting up my habits is flawed and likely to fail. I have developed a few good habits over my NerdFitness time (thank you, regular exercise days!), but I'm not sure exactly why they stuck and others didn't. I also seem to have lost focus on my "big why" type goals, with random habits all over the place and forgetting what they are supposed to be building me towards.

 

So I'm going back to the basic basics, and collecting some needed underpants for myself. I'm going to finish reading The Power of Habit this week, and with the new underpants-granted knowledge I hope to have, make a better, more informed habit training plan for the remainder of the challenge.

 

Onward for underpants!

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Some impressive insight and self-awareness here. I'm following in the hopes I can learn from this. :) 

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Hi, I was wondering if you were going to be challenging with us this time around.  So glad to see you here. :) 

 

On 1/8/2019 at 2:48 PM, juliebarkley said:

I am realizing that the way that I have been setting up my habits is flawed and likely to fail

What does he suggest as a better way to make habits?

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On 1/8/2019 at 8:09 AM, scalyfreak said:

Some impressive insight and self-awareness here. I'm following in the hopes I can learn from this. :) 

 

On 1/9/2019 at 7:36 PM, WhiteGhost said:

Hi, I was wondering if you were going to be challenging with us this time around.  So glad to see you here. :) 

 

What does he suggest as a better way to make habits?

 

Always glad to have you along! And @WhiteGhost, have you not realized yet that I basically never manage to get a challenge up during zero week? :PPerhaps this is a habit I should work on building!

 

I just finished reading the book (yay!). The appendix at the end provides a really good summary of how to change a bad habit. It's available verbatim online, but I'll summarize it here:

 

1. Identify the routine you want to change. The example in the book is going to the cafeteria every day to buy a cookie and chat, which is leading to weight gain.

 

2. Brainstorm what craving the routine could be filling. Ex. a break from work, a change of scenery, hunger, energy from a sugar rush, socializing. At this point, you do not know for sure what the real craving is.

 

3. Experiment to isolate the true craving. To test the cravings, isolate each by satisfying it without also satisfying the other possibilities. Make a note of how you feel after each attempt, then see if you still want the cookie 15 minutes later. For the cravings listed in step two, try taking a walk, eating an apple at your desk, having a cup of coffee, or chatting with a colleague for a few minutes. What reduces the desire for the cafeteria trip and cookie? That is your true craving, and now you should have a good idea what behaviors you can use to successfully replace your old habit.

 

4. Identify the cue. Almost all habit cues are one of the following: location, time, emotional state, other people, or immediately preceding action. So, when you feel your craving, write down where you are, what time it is, how you are feeling, who you are with, and what you just did. You should see a pattern emerge, and then you have identified you cue. You will be aware of when you are vulnerable to the pull of the bad habit, and be able to redirect yourself to the habit-shifting action.

 

5. Take the knowledge you have gained and make a simple plan, like "At 3:30 every day, I will find a friend and chat for 10 minutes". Be patient and kind to yourself. Some habits are easier to shift than others, and you will not be perfect, especially at the beginning.

 

Unfortunately, the way to establish a good habit is not so clearly laid out. In some cases, a good habit conflicts with a bad or neutral habit, so the replacement technique above will work great to establish a new good habit (like driving to the gym after work instead of driving home). But that technique doesn't give any suggestions about how to start up a new habit where there is no habit at all yet. (This is my main problem - my bad habits are not so much things I do, but things I don't do). However, there is scattered information throughout the book that does address this, so I'm going to skim through again and report back later. I've pulled up a couple of articles too, plus Duhigg has a resources section on his website, one of which is called "A flowchart explaining how to create a habit", so I am optimistic!

 

Back soon.

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Not ready yet for part two of the habit post, as I spent nearly three hours today as an art model, grammar tutor, and math tutor (#homeschoollife), but I have some notes coming together now, so it should be up some time tomorrow.

 

However, I have something interesting to report ... I PASSED MY WEEK IN PUSHUPS!!! I have been stuck on the same week for at least six months, and the gains have been so slow, but I not only made my goal every day this week, I actually exceeded it (30 or more pushups in the final set TWICE this week!). I have no idea how long I'll be on the next week for (probably quite a while), but I'm just so happy to have made it at long last.

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13 hours ago, juliebarkley said:

have you not realized yet that I basically never manage to get a challenge up during zero week?

But you do show up, though, which is the most important part :) 

 

13 hours ago, juliebarkley said:

Unfortunately, the way to establish a good habit is not so clearly laid out.

I saw some interesting commentary on how we form bad habits, and I suspect the same is probably true for good ones.  I don't remember the exact wording, but the basic idea is that it starts with thoughts.  Nobody has ever done anything they didn't think about first.  When you send enough time thinking about something, you start to talk about it.  Then once you spend enough time talking about it, you often try it.  Once you have tried it, it becomes easier to try again.  After trying it enough times it becomes easier, and after a while forms into a habit.  Once something has been a habit for long enough, it starts to become ingrained into your personality and starts to become a characteristic.  I think they key differentiator here is going to be the try part.  Bad habits (or actions) seem to be much easier to just kind of fall into, and we end up doing them even if we intellectually know we don't want to.  Good actions, on the other hand seem to be the opposite - we really have to work hard to keep them going, and getting them from an initial try to a full formed habit, is more of an uphill push than a downhill slide.  I think some of the principles may still apply, though.

 

41 minutes ago, juliebarkley said:

I PASSED MY WEEK IN PUSHUPS!!!

Woohoo!  Excellent!   Nice to finally see all of the consistency paying off :) 

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Intro Thread    Bodyweight Exercise Library

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On 1/13/2019 at 12:14 PM, juliebarkley said:

4. Identify the cue. Almost all habit cues are one of the following: location, time, emotional state, other people, or immediately preceding action. So, when you feel your craving, write down where you are, what time it is, how you are feeling, who you are with, and what you just did. You should see a pattern emerge, and then you have identified you cue. You will be aware of when you are vulnerable to the pull of the bad habit, and be able to redirect yourself to the habit-shifting action.

 

This is really very helpful. This approach may actually work to help me break some of my worst habits. Thank you!

 

And congratulations on the push up progress! You earned every part of that!

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Okay, I am ready for the good habit making part of the underpants collection. Here's what I've learned (pulled from the book, and from someone's blog post about a different book I haven't read, Atomic Habits):

 

The basic format for good habits is obviously the same as for bad habit: Cue, Craving, Routine, Reward. The trouble is that you don't yet know what will be a good cue or reward, and the craving doesn't exist yet. Tricky! But the approach for making one is not so different from the way that you break (or rather, replace) a bad habit. It just takes more planning to make it as easy as possible to stick.

 

For the purposes of illustration, I'm going to pretend I want to start a running habit before work.

 

1. Believe that you are able to change. Without this belief, you won't make a permanent change. Simple as. A support group of people who have successfully done what you want to do can be an enormous help. (Hello NerdFitness!)

 

2. Make your routine specific and short, so you can have a small win. The routine should be less than 2 minutes, so if it's longer, just focus on the first step. Include a "why", as this makes you more likely to succeed. First, the specific. "What exactly will you do? How often? For how many days? How strictly? Why? What benefit will you get out of it? What’s the goal above the goal? How will you achieve this?" For the running goal, this might be "I want to run around my block twice every work day before work. I'm doing this to keep myself healthy and give myself energy for the day so I'm not tired at work. I'm going to achieve this by dressing in my running clothes as soon as I have used the bathroom and go outside. So here, the routine is to dress in running clothes and make it out the door.

 

3. Make the routine as easy as possible, and the alternatives as hard as possible. I put the clothes right there in the bathroom the night before, so I don't have to pick them out. Shoes, too. I'd have to go all the way back to the bedroom and pick out different clothes to avoid the routine. If the goal were to journal every day when you wake up, put the journal next to your bed, with a pen, and a prompt already written in. So easy to get it done.

 

4. Plan for weakness. Anticipate the situations that might derail you, and decide in advance what you will do. This reduces the willpower needed to deal with it when it actually hits you. I think I might be tempted to check email, so I'm putting my phone out of sight far from my bedroom and bathroom. If it's raining outside, I'm going to step one step into the rain, and jump up and down singing "It ain't gonna rain no more no more". Now I'm wet, so I might as well run. (Maybe you would prefer a raincoat.) I like the example in the book - rehab patients recovered twice as fast if they thought about the things that would hold them back and made a plan to deal with them. For example, one patient knew that the pain would be excruciating when he first stood up, so he decided to take a step the moment he stood up to reduce the temptation to sit right back down.

 

5. Work on your cues. Make your cue simple and obvious. In this case, the cue will be seeing the running clothes folded on the bathroom counter, and it is tied to an existing habit of heading to the bathroom as soon as I get up.

 

6. Pick a reward. Make it a good one, something you will want. It can be a reward that you get during the routine, after, or both. I'm going to make my reward listening to a playlist of songs I love while I run, and coming home to a really delicious protein shake. Now I am starting to associate the routine with the happiness that the music and shake give me. And always sit with the feeling of accomplishment and pride when you've done the routine. That's part of the reward, and you earned it. Go you.

 

7. Work on the craving. Until you have a good craving in place, the routine won't be automatic. You have to work to create that positive association. When you trigger your cue, remind yourself of the good feelings that you will have after the routine. I could also put a picture of a happy, healthy person or alert worker (or something that reminds me of my "why") on top of the pile, or on the front door to remind me visually of the good feelings I will achieve. I will play a mental video of myself out running and great run and really enjoying myself. I will think about how much energy I will have after the run while I am dressing. I can think about the pretty flowers I will see on the route. The kick-ass third song on my playlist that I'm dying to hear. How good my protein shake will taste when I get home. All before I start. You can also associate negative feelings with the bad alternatives. If I think of my phone, I'll try to bring up the bad feeling of wasting time, and how tired I'll be at work, and how disappointed I'll be that I didn't run because I missed all the cool stuff (NOT that I am a bad person if I pick the bad choice, or a disappointment, or a failure. Only bringing forward the long-term bad feelings this choice will give me later on to create a negative association that can counteract the short-term good feeling over time).

 

8. Don't worry about doing the habit perfectly, but consistently. My routine is to get dressed and out the door. Maybe I only made a very short run. Or I walked. Or I chickened out of the run when I realized how cold it was, but still made it outside. I did the routine I set up, so it counts. The small wins give me a foundation to build on. Successes don't come in a linear way, so be patient with yourself. Track your progress over time so you can see it (marking a success is also a reward - convenient!). Change your cues or rewards if they're not working for you. If you're really struggling, think about whether there's a deeper issue. Maybe I never seem to have time in the morning to do the run. Why? I'm not getting up early enough. Why? I'm not going to bed early enough. Why? Because I get lost in YouTube just before bed and stay up too late. Why? I get bored after supper because my family all do their own thing and I don't know what to do with myself. Figuring out a better solution to the boredom than my YouTube habit might need to come before my running habit can succeed.

 

In short (copied from website):

 

Spoiler

Good Habit:

1. Make it Obvious: Put your gym bag where you see it all the time. Put a picture of your desired physique on the wall or the fridge to get reminded of why you want to do this.

2. Make it Attractive: Remind yourself of the great feeling you get after having finished your workout. Think of the benefits of being in great shape and having much more energy long-term. Think about the nice meal you are going to have after the gym.

3. Make it Easy: Have your gym clothes and equipment in one place and make it easy and quick to pack your bag. Prepare it the night before, so you just have to grab the bag. Choose a gym that’s easy and quick to get to.

4. Make it Satisfying: Treat yourself with a nice meal or a protein shake and really focus on the great feeling of accomplishment after finishing your workout.

 

Bad Habit:

 

1. Make it invisible: Either put your smartphone in your closet where you cannot see it or just disable all notifications and sounds. Don’t trust your willpower. The same with junk food or other temptations. Remove them from your sight or throw away.

2. Make it unattractive: Remind yourself of the bad feeling you get when you procrastinate and don’t progress on your tasks. Associate mindless smartphone usage with pain, e.g. of not progressing, of missing a deadline, of being stuck in an unfulfilling life situation. Highlight the benefits of avoiding the bad habit.

3. Make it difficult: “Increase friction”, increase the number of steps to do your bad habit. Use tools that restrict the usage of certain apps or simply put these apps into some folder at the back of page three of your phone where it is difficult to reach them.

4. Make it Unsatisfying: Remind yourself of the time you have just wasted. Connect pleasure toward what you want to do instead. E.g. reward yourself whenever you have finished a large chunk of work in a deeply focused session without using your phone. Could be your favorite treat, a nice meal etc.

 

 

 

Duhigg also has a couple of cool infographic flowcharts on how to make a good habit or change a bad one:

 

Making a good habit:
 

Spoiler

 

image.thumb.png.bf2016a8e3ded8b0074ceb0e61c1c21c.png

 

 

 

 

Changing a bad habit:
 

Spoiler

 

image.thumb.png.a1a3f1b438b8a5c603017d7f5bbfcff0.png

 

 

 

 

Now I have to do the hard work of figuring out my whys and desired routines, and getting it all set up. :) If you've stuck with me for this long, thank you for reading my essay, and I hope it helps you. :D

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Very good stuff!

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8 hours ago, juliebarkley said:

Okay, I am ready for the good habit making part of the underpants collection. Here's what I've learned (pulled from the book, and from someone's blog post about a different book I haven't read, Atomic Habits):

 

Wow, this is all really good stuff. Thanks for taking the time to write all that!

 

I will go back and re-read it when I have time to really pay attention. 

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“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28

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19 hours ago, juliebarkley said:

2. Make it unattractive: Remind yourself of the bad feeling you get when you procrastinate and don’t progress on your tasks.

 

This could actually work for me. This will go in a future challenge!

 

And I love the flowcharts!

Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28

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Sorry for ghosting! I knew that this challenge would be busy, but I was planning to get back to it sooner than this. Honestly, the next step felt undefined and I kind of dreaded it. The thought of sitting down and having big "what's important to me" thoughts was just, ... eh, I'll do it tomorrow.

 

Well, I have sat myself down and had the big thoughts about where I want to be, what I want to do and why. Woo! As per usual, it was neither as scary nor as hard as I had built it up to be in my head. And of course, reminder to future self, this is not set in stone and can be changed whenever, so don't worry about getting it perfect and all.

 

I wrote out a big list of what I want and don't want. I looked for patterns and themes in my answers. I can sum it all up in just six (longish) sentences.

 

1. I want to be strong and flexible, and stay physically healthy as I age, plus learn some neat tricks just for fun.

2. I want to live in a tidy and organized space without superfluous items - a calming space, where I have a system in place to know what to do next.

3. I want to grow my non-job income and work towards financial independence, plus gain the language skills to live somewhere less expensive if I choose to do so once achieving this.

4. I want to dedicate time to hobbies that I enjoy and which challenge and enrich me as a person.

5. I want to develop my connection to the divine and give myself the tools and foundation to continually grow spiritually.

6. I want to build and maintain relationships both on and offline.

 

Now I have to decide which items to work on, set up habits, and work on establishing those habits until they are automatic using the system laid out in my previous posts. Fun! But it will have to wait for next challenge. Fortunately (?), I am going to be even busier next challenge cycle, so I will be forced to think small and manageable for each habit. I'm thinking that ups my chances at success.

 

I'm gonna try to get in early to the next challenge for zero week and all that jazz, so you should see a link to a new challenge below very soon indeed. But for now, good night!

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Glad to see you back, and just in time to finally start a challenge on time  :P

 

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Intro Thread    Bodyweight Exercise Library

The Arruvia Conspiracy Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 567, 89, 10 

Other Challenges: 12345, 6, 7, 89, 10, 11, 1213, 14, 15 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28Mardi Gras [Current]

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4 hours ago, juliebarkley said:

Well, I have sat myself down and had the big thoughts about where I want to be, what I want to do and why. Woo! As per usual, it was neither as scary nor as hard as I had built it up to be in my head.

 

Scary or not, I firmly believe everyone should do this once in a while. 

 

Looking forward to your next challenge!

Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28

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Okay, let's get this show on the road. New challenge up.

 

https://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/113026-juliebarkley-applies-herself/

 

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