Defining Discipline

[Jean]

14 hours ago, Defining said:

That is a wonderfully optimistic perspective - I think, for myself, there hasn't been much progress even under the surface though.

The only way to know for sure is to keep on keeping on.

 

14 hours ago, Defining said:

Consulting sounds like loads of fun, except you need to be an expert in a subject in order to act as a consultant. At the moment, I can't claim any expertise.

People look at 20somethings posting youtube videos and take them as experts of cryptocurrencies. People with a problem need someone with the confidence to tell them it can be solved, and show them how. I've loved your approach to fitness and nutrition in the "Fitness and Nutrition" subforums. You seem to have learning and problem solving skills and I'm confident you can get there if you want to. It's not necessarily an easy road but if you want to try your mettle, setting a course is the first step to completing the journey.

 

Also, +1 for @Mad Hatter. Software development can be self taught and requires mainly an ability to display coding skills. It's not an easy road but it doesn't require getting additional certifications but rather spending time on projects that are relevant to your interests and being able to pass the hiring tests.

 

It's a common trait in people with skill to undervalue their abilities, perhaps because they can see all the things they don't know and feel humbled by it. Only you can know if adopting the perspective that you are good at learning and good at communicating what you've learned (which is what you've displayed on these boards) would benefit you and society at large. For the purpose of putting things in perspective: there are very good and competent people out there leading their industry and mentoring people around them. They are very rare, too. There are also a bunch of people with subpar skills in positions of power who display confidence to hide that the emperor has no clothes. Meeting the first kind of people is a real treat and fuels the desire to keep becoming better human beings. The second ones are unfortunately much more common. When entering an industry, chances are you'll be dealing with the posers more than the geniuses. I would try not to underestimate my own strengths: the best people aren't always available. In many situations, being a Jack makes you the highest card in the deck.

[Defining]

10 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Hmmm have you thought about software development? It ticks a lot of boxes!

I have indeed! I've been poking around Unreal Engine and C++ actually.

 

9 hours ago, Jean said:

It's a common trait in people with skill to undervalue their abilities, perhaps because they can see all the things they don't know and feel humbled by it.

I'm not really undervaluing my abilities, so much as wanting to feel confident in my knowledge before marketing it to others. I've done a few consulting gigs in the past for social media and hospitality - I knew enough for the jobs, but only JUST. I don't like the feeling of being only one step ahead of my clients when I'm charging $ for the service. If one step is all that's needed in order to help them get where they need to go, great! But typically, I'd want to be at least 2-3 steps ahead in order to anticipate future challenges and head them off at the pass.

[Mad Hatter]

11 hours ago, Defining said:

I have indeed! I've been poking around Unreal Engine and C++ actually.

Cool! Never played with Unreal, how do you find it? C++ is probably one of the hardest languages to learn so if you get on with that you can learn anything. Not a favourite of mine, but what you code in really depends on your interests more than anything else. 

[Defining]

7 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Cool! Never played with Unreal, how do you find it?

Horrifically overwhelming! 🤣 The C++ is specifically to use for UE, so there's definitely a 'reason' for the dumb choice to start at the hardest stuff. I'm getting the feeling that if I want to do more than dip my toes with the real time stuff though, I'm going to have to upgrade my hardware. Which is a firm UGH in this COVID-stymied-supply-chain world we live in now.

[Mad Hatter]

Understandable.  

 

Yeah I got the why c++ part.  It's not a dumb choice, it's still in use in certain types of applications, such as games but also more sciency ones and other GPU heavy software. I only mentioned it so that you don't base your entire experience on it. That was my first experience at uni and hated it.  I didn't use any IDE or other tools for it either, just a text editor which sucked. It got better when regularly I used it in my previous job, but I can't say I particularly enjoyed it. 

 

Just a thought, but if you're stuck on hardware maybe there's something for 2d games that would interest you in the meantime? Might be easier on your computer. I'm not familiar with games engines but I think Unity can be used more for 2d? 

[Defining]

I'm less interested for games and more interested for virtual production. Unity looks pretty cool, and with their new WETA partnership they're definitely trying to be competitive in that area. Hmm. Maybe I'll try dabbling a bit in both, to see what I prefer.

[Mad Hatter]

Ah, my brain automatically went to games. That's cool! And so's the partnership with WETA, didn't know about that.

[Defining]

So I fell off the surface of the planet last challenge. That's ok, no one is perfect. And it's not like I was on some kind of roll that I 'interrupted' or anything.

 

Some thoughts on goal settings, little drabbles from a few podcasts I've been listening to:

- try to set a goal that you can do 85% successfully

- set regular check-ins and rewards

- instead of doing a ton of 'visualising' about the good outcome you're working for, regularly remind yourself of the shitty alternative if you don't actually accomplish your goal

- use 'bad habits' as a trigger for 'better habits'

- sometimes it's easier to do something every day, in order to remove the 'judgement' or scheduling to keep things consistent otherwise

 

Last challenge I set myself a 25hr/week goal to declutter. And I don't think it was actually the goal that led me astray, my bro came to visit and then I had a pain flare up, and work has been stupid busy, and I've been drowning in my normal existential BS. 

 

Things that are barriers to me accomplishing stuff include (but are not limited to):
- not having a daily routine or weekly schedule

- not having an organised environment which promotes getting off your ass to do stuff

- feeling unsure about my work & living situation 

- lacking motivation for personal accomplishment

 

I've been putting some thought into 'what would you do if you won the lottery', just as a thought experiment to try to move past the work/house anxiety, and figure out wtf I would actually want to do with myself. The answer right now is: not much. So either I'm depressed (possible, but unlikely), or so highly demotivated/tired that anything sounds like too much work right now. But it did give me a few things to look at, namely having my own space, daily dog time, and having a project to work on regularly. I also still really like 'working with my hands' stuff, but I find myself trying new things and getting bored with it quickly, which is why/how I've accumulated so much hobby chaff along the way. 

 

None of this is new. And I feel like I've been going around in circles with this shit for years now. I'm going to give myself this next challenge, and then will bite the bullet to try online counselling to try to see if I can find some help to cut through my own BS. Which, uh, is not hugely appealing. So I guess I have some motivation to pull up my socks here?

 

Conclusions: I'm not going to bother worrying about work or living arrangements right now, I'm in a stable pattern and I have time to deal with it. In the meantime, I can give myself a 'part time job' to declutter the house, and/or learn some programming stuff for shits n giggles. 
 

Spoiler

Feb 27 - If the world seems cold to you, kindle fires to warm it. - Lucy Larcom

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Feb 28 - The good life is one inspiring by love and guided by knowledge. - Bertrand Russell

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Mar 01 - Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day,  I can hear her breathing. - Arundhati Roy

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Mar 02 - There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. - Edith Wharton

New Moon

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Mar 03 - If you have no road map, you have to create your own. - Jacqueline Woodson

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Mar 04 - The most authentic thin about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to ensure, to transform, to love, and to be greater than our suffering. - Ben Okri

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Mar 05 - In a gentle way, you can shake the world. - Mahatma Gandhi (Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi)

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Mar 06 - What is now proved was once only imagined. - William Blake

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Mar 07 - To live without hope is to cease to live. - Fyodor Dostoevsky

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Mar 08 - Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning. - Gloria Steinem

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Mar 09 - The chances you take, the people you meet, the people you love, the faith that you have - that's what's going to define you. - Denzel Washington

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Mar 10 - The beginning is always today. - Mary Wollstonecraft

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Mar 11 - Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Langston Hughes (James Mercer Langston Hughes)

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Mar 12 - If you don't live your life, then who will? - Rihanna (Robyn Rihanna Fenty)

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Mar 13 - My sun sets to rise again. - Robert Browning

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Mar 14 - Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Albert Einstein

20% of the year has passed, also Pi Day

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Mar 15 -  Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. - e.e. cummings (Edward Estlin Cummings)

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Mar 16 - As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands: one for helping yourself, the other for helping others. - Audrey Hepburn

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Mar 17 - Even if the hopes you started out with are dashed, hope has to be maintained. - Seamus Heaney

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Mar 18 - The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any. - Alice Walker

Full Moon

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Mar 19 - Not all those who wander are lost. - J.R.R. Tolkein

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Mar 20 - Despite the forecast, live like it's spring. - Lilly Pulitzer

Spring Equinox 

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Mar 21 - I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am.  - Sylvia Plath

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Mar 22 - If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. - Milton Berle

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Mar 23 - It's never too late - never too late to start over, never too late to be happy. - Jane Fonda

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Mar 24 - Life is a lot like jazz ... it's best when you improvise. - George Gershwin

[Defining]

Making some notes for myself, on courses/classes/experiences I'd like to try this year. A different/old pipe dream would be to have a small 'artisan shop', where I can live next-door and have a workshop for stuff like basic glass, wood, metal, and leather work (maybe a bit of pottery too?). I really don't think it's financially viable, but the first step in putting that idea to bed is to get a feel for how I actually like the work (and what my shoulder thinks of that work now, blargh). 

 

Spoiler

- making a knife and/or blacksmithing 101

- lampworking 101; would like to try making  drinking vessels and/or something like the pixie aromatherapy pendants

- leatherworking/make a wallet 101; very possible to do this one without a class, since there are fewer equipment requirements

- how to make a barrel (no idea where I'm going to find this one)

- basic lathe work 101, and/or epoxy work?

 

[Defining]

SO, I realised today that I missed my Q1 check in. I also have not succeeded with most of my Q1 goals. I kinda want to kick myself, but that's not productive. At this point though, I genuinely have no idea how to kick my ass into gear in a good way.

[Defining]

Yeah, so there's another challenge, where I've made virtually no progress or achievements. Gonna put something together for the next, but at this point I don't even know where to start, in terms of taking concept to follow through. Very frustrated with myself. No, I do not have unreasonable expectations of myself. No, I do not have extenuating circumstances that make life more difficult. And no, I don't need to cut myself some slack, I've already done that for the past decade or so. I'm just pissed that I feel like I've tried every trick/strategy I can find, and I still keep letting myself down.

 

[Waldo]

On 3/24/2022 at 11:51 PM, Defining said:

- not having a daily routine or weekly schedule

Right here is where you plant the seeds to success.

 

The reason so many people saw the covid 15 at first in 2020 was the huge shock their basic daily routine; most people tend to eat more and move less in the face of uncertainty.

 

Goals can at times be counterproductive; looking away to the future, mind wandering from where you are, what you are doing.  Its good to focus on the process too, and physically that starts with your daily routine, for both diet and fitness.

 

My career evolved a couple years back from a goal oriented position (engineer) to a process oriented position (project manager).  I think my training and diet background actually played a huge role in the successful transition.  Engineering is linear and goal focused, I led the team that produced a set of construction documents that showed how to build the design I developed, there is a final deliverable end goal for each project.  Project management OTOH (the kind I do, more of a PM of PM's, I have a huge # of projects now) there are basically no goals other than trends, you try to manage throughput efficiency via the process (a workout program for example is a process), something I understood right away.  Process goals aren't tangible successes in the way a typical goal is, but the process can always be improved.

 

A lot of times when my diet and fitness has suffered, a tweak to processes is in order.  Whether it means starting workouts 15 minutes earlier or the coming up with a workout plan and sticking to it.  Coming up with an sticking to a basic daily routine will do wonders for you, its the basic process everything else is built on.  With a good process you don't have to try to be successful, that extra try effort isn't needed, stick to the plan and don't think about it, success will come.

[juliebarkley]

On 5/3/2022 at 12:19 AM, Defining said:

I'm just pissed that I feel like I've tried every trick/strategy I can find, and I still keep letting myself down.

If kicking your own ass isn't working, could you recruit help by finding a partner who is working on something similar, so that you can kick each other's asses? For one goal at least?

[Defining]

On 6/6/2022 at 8:05 PM, juliebarkley said:

If kicking your own ass isn't working, could you recruit help by finding a partner who is working on something similar, so that you can kick each other's asses? For one goal at least?

I WISH! Unfortunately I'm just enough of a jerkface  that I don't typically find it very motivating to have a buddy keep me on track - I don't really 'care' what they say/think/do. I wish it weren't true, but that type of external accountability just doesn't do anything useful for me, or at least it hasn't in the past.

I didn't really keep up with tracking here on the forums for the last challenge, but I'm mostly ok with that.

I like the 'roll the dice for a reward' approach, but I utterly failed on the 'no junk movies/tv' part of it, so I didn't exactly accrue a ton of points this time around. 

I think I'm going to skip the challenge this time 'round, but will probably check in on this thread once in a while instead.

Spoiler

May 26 (40% of the year is gone, wut) - Do not fear mistakes. There are none. - Miles Davis

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May 27 - Take criticism seriously, but not personally. If there is truth or merit in the criticism, try to learn from it. Otherwise, let it roll right off you. - Hillary Rodham Clinton

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May 28 - When things go bad, don't go with them. - Elvis Presley

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May 29 - Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

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May  30 (new moon) - Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. - William James

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May 31 - If you do not tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about other people. - Virginia Woolf

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June 01 - Let us make our future now, and let us make our dreams tomorrow's reality. - Malala Yousafzai

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June 02 - Love many thing, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, an can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well. - Vincent van Gough

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June 03 - We can't plan life. All we can do is be available for it. - Lauryn Hill

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June 04 - Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success. - Swami Sivananda

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June 05 - You can waste your life drawing lines, or you can live your life crossing them. - Shonda Rhimes

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June 06 - The best way out is always through. - Robert Frost

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June 07 - Once you choose hope, anything's possible. - Christopher Reeve

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June 08 - Argue with anything else, but don't argue with your own nature. - Sir Philip Pullman

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June 09 - When someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you don't stoop to their level. No, our motto is "When they go low, we go high". - Michelle Obama

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June 10 - If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden. - Frances Hodgson Burnett

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June 11 - Give light and people will find the way. - Ella Baker

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June 12 - Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

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June 13 (45% of the year gone, shit) - We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated. - Maya Angelou (Marguerite Annie Johnson)
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June 14 - Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them by friends? - Abraham Lincoln

[Defining]

I don't really have any updates to offer. This week I need to sit down and physically write out everything I've tried in the last 5yrs, in my attempts to kick my own ass into gear. I don't know what to do anymore, so I may as well take stock; maybe I'll luck out and see a really obvious gap.

 

Spoiler

Jun 15: Great necessities call out great virtues. - Abigail Adams
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Jun 16: You have to motivate yourself with challenges. that's how you know you're still alive. - Jerry Seinfeld
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Jun 17: If you dream and you allow yourself to dream, you can do anything. - Clara Hughes
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Jun 18: If everything was perfect, you would never learn and you would never grow. - Beyonce Giselle Knowles-Carter
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Jun 19: Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffet
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Jun 20: Imagination is the highest kite one can fly. - Lauren Bacall
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Jun 21 (Summer Solstice): To love and be loved is to feel the sun and from both sides. - David Viscott
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Jun 22: The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. - Anna Quindlen
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Jun 23: Only the gentle are ever really strong. - James Dean
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Jun 24: The only failure is not knowing how to be happy. - Celine Dion
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Jun 25: Life is to be lived, not controlled, and a humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat. - Ralph Ellison
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Jun 26: Give light, and the darkness will disappear of itself. - Desiderius Erasmus
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Jun 27: You have the freedon to live and let live, to love and let love. Granting yourself that freedom is one of the healthiest, most constructive things you can do for yourself and the people who matter to you. - Martha Beck
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Jun 28 (new moon): I always had the ability to say no. That's how I called my own shots. - Sidney Poitier
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Jun 29: Change takes courage. - Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
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Jun 30: Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale. - Hans Christian Andersen
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Jul 01 (50% of the year has passed): Extraordinary people survive under the most terrible circumstances and they become more extraordinary because of it. - Robertson davies
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Jul 02:  Sometimes you need to scorch everything to the ground, and start over. After the burning the soil is richer, and new things can grow. People are like that, too. They start over. They find a way. - Celeste Ng
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Jul 03: The heart that gives, gathers. - Marianne Moore
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Jul 04: As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. - John F. Kennedy
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Jul 05: Try to keep your mind open to possibilities and your mouth closed on matters that you don't know about. Limit your "always" and "nevers". - Amy Poehler
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Jul 06: All good things which exist are the fruits of originality. - John Stuart Mill
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Jul 07: All you need is love. But a little chocolat now and then doesn't hurt. - Charles M. Schultz
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Jul 08: I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept. - Angela Davis
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Jul 09: There's just some magic in truth and honesty and openness. - Frank Ocean
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Jul 10: I believe that you should gravitate to people who are productive and positive things with their lives. - Nadia Comaneci
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Jul 11: Action is the foundational key to all success. - Pablo Picasso
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Jul 12: Nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood. Now is the time to uderstand more, so that we may fear less. - Marie Curie
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Jul 13 (full moon): Be passionate and move forward with gusto every single hour of every single day until you reach your goal. - Ava DuVernay
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Jul 14: The best portion of a good man's life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love. - William Wordsworth
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Jul 15: There is alaways something left to love. And if you ain't learned that, you ain't learned nothing. - Lorraine Hansberry
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Jul 16: Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm, and harmoney. - Thomas Merton
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Jul 17: I'm an advocate of "It's not what you are. It's who you are." - Sia Kate Isobelle Furler
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[ParylPanda]

It's not fun when you struggle to get started and don't know what to do anymore. I wish I could offer some solution that would definitely work, but I haven't found one yet. 

 

I'm at a point where my main goals are to start habits. I can't keep beating myself up for not cleaning/decluttering/exercising and making big progress. Clearly trying to do big things doesn't work, so now I'm starting small. Getting into the habit of at least changing into my workout clothes for a workout every week day and doing at least one rep of each item. That is a successful workout - not because I exercised, but because I've continued this new habit.

 

Doing something similar with cleaning (and eventually decluttering) - I have a few tasks that I've been tracking doing every evening and now I've added one to my morning coffee which will eventually lead to a decluttered kitchen counter. 
Will it take me years to get done at this pace? Yes, but it's not like I've gotten anywhere in the years since I've realised that I need to declutter. This way at least miniscule progress is made and if a habit is built, that will last. 

 

Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble about myself on your post, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone - I understand where you are coming from - I'm sorry that I can't offer any tangible help. 

[Defining]

I'm not going to set up a challenge, because it would feel like wasted space. I  aim to check in at least once a week in this thread for 2023.

 

My strategy this year is 'face what you fail'. The premise is that rather than working towards goals (which clearly hasn't worked for me), I'm going to work AWAY from the stuff that I don't want. To that end, I have taped up three photos in my room: a photo of myself without clothes, a photo of my living space in its current state, and a photo of my bank statements. These are my daily reminders of what I haven't done - and what the consequences of my inaction are.

 

The crux my of challenges come down to not being happy with:

- my body (I want to improve my strength, endurance, pain levels, flexibility, nutrition, sleep quality, BF%)

- my housing situation (I want to live in an organised/uncluttered space, and to have my own functional independent space)

- my professional choices (I want to feel financially self sufficient, and it'd be nice to be excited about my work)

 

I know that all the 'happiness' metrics & research suggest that the PEOPLE you spend time with are hugely important to your wellbeing and satisfaction with life. At the moment though I cannot imagine a lifestyle which requires more people, so I'm going to put that on the backburner for now because otherwise I'm pretty sure I'd just self-sabotage any goals in that area.
 

Strategy #1 - Accountability: BUJO every morning, remind myself what a lack of execution leaves me with

 

Strategy #2 - Reward: Roll a die for anything accomplished in a week; every time I roll a 5, I can add $5 to a slush fund to buy a new DVD series or something else fun

 

Strategy #3 - Discipline: I am not allowed to watch ANY movies/TV shows unless I'm on a treadmill/bike/rower/elliptical or tidying; if I do, I forfeit all earned rolls for the day

 

Strategy #4 - Follow Bad with Good: Any time I open any social media or want to watch a YT video, I need to do 20 of a bodyweight exercise first (and/or for every 10min spent). I may also revisit my 'on the hour every hour' physical activity goals at some point.

Actionable habits:
 

Spoiler

Habits for my body are the ones I understand and can identify most easily (these are all daily-reset):

• sun salutations and chug 500ml of H20 to start the day
• get sunlight in my eyes (ie. go outside) for at least 10min within the first hour of waking up
• at least 150g of protein/day
• no more than 100g net carbs/day
• at least 5 veg/fruit servings/day
• at least 3 portions of low sugar ferments/day 
• 2.5L+ liquids/day
• weights x3/ week
• C25k x3/week
• in bed by 11pm, no reading in bed

 

Habits for my living situation are IN THEORY simple, but may change over the course of the year:

• Take at least 1 full garbage/recycling/donation bin out of the house a week (worth 3 rolls)
• Take at least 1hr/week to declutter/tidy/clean my spaces (worth 2 rolls)
• Bonus decluttering and/or cleaning, 1hr = rolls

Habits for my professional stuff:

• honestly I have no idea. so I guess for right now it's 'pick a fucking direction and set some fucking goals'

Stretch goals/bonus points (each is worth 2 rolls):

• work on a C++ or Python course (minimum 30min)
• work on a short film (minimum 30min, watching YT tips doesn't count)
• singing or piano (minimum 20min)
• extra stretching/yoga (minimum 20min)

 

I will be trying Habitica to track habits & 'to do' stuff. We'll see how it all goes!

[Defining]

First week or so of 2023: ..... let's just say that I'm kind of jealous at how far this little girl got! 'cause it's a damn sight further than I've managed

[Defining]

[Jupiter]

Hey, Defining, how are things going? 

[Defining]

On 1/25/2023 at 9:35 PM, Jupiter said:

Hey, Defining, how are things going? 

Thank you for checking in! I have clearly already fallen down on checking in weekly. 😄

 

Um, good intentions are great, but without action are useless?  I spent some time last week trying to see if visiting with a therapist might be beneficial, but after several hours of reading bios of professionals in town (or with online availability) I just can't seem to find a fit which gives me confidence that it'd be a good use of anyone's time. I feel like I need help to get my ass in gear, and I don't know where to ask for that help. I am so fatigued by setting the same goals, starting with different strategies and then just falling on my face. 

 

So, TL;DR - thank you Jan 2023, for the quick reminder that setting goals means diddly squat if I don't get get things done every day. Same old, same old.

[Jean]

Hi there! Count this as another check in.

 

On 1/31/2023 at 7:15 PM, Defining said:

Um, good intentions are great, but without action are useless?

 

(Edit: context for below, it's about me getting in the right mindset to start doing things vs actually getting things done.)

 

I find that the mind needs to be tempered too. Sometimes, being on the way doesn't show visible results, but we get more ready for what we want to do. My own progress has often been like that: nothing seems to happen, it's winter everywhere with an unmoving layer of snow, then I'm finally ready and all spring blooms all at once. I wouldn't be ready without the invisible things happening in the long winter.

 

Be kind but not complacent. Be great.

[Jupiter]

Hey, Defining, how has this last month gone for you? 

[Defining]

On 3/23/2023 at 8:08 PM, Jupiter said:

Hey, Defining, how has this last month gone for you? 

Well, uh. I guess that's pretty self-evident. I did none of the things I talked about for 2023. 

None. Of. The. Things.

 

Where the actual eff did the year go.



I am currently posting because I'm putting off some tidying/decluttering I've committed to. I had the house to myself for a few weeks and figured I'd take advantage.... and in reality I just have @#$&ing piles EVERYWHERE. I have .....let's say 16hrs (including sleep) to at least make the piles manageable enough that they are not preventing use of the public spaces of the house. I can do that.

But I am thinking ahead for the next year. There is SO much that's changed in 2023, and yet I'm still stuck exactly where I was. I'm honestly a bit exhausted by thinking about it. But I need to create a better space for workouts. I need to edit the kitchen so I'm willing to do meal prep. I need to modify my bed area for superior sleep hygiene. I need to figure out my shit.

I'm not setting goals for the whole year, there's no point. I'm going to set a goal for Q1 (because my 35th bday is at the beginning of Q2): decluttering. I can't effect change in the same environment. The clutter is causing actual anxiety for me now. This is the priority. 



I lied, I'm going to set a goal for 2024: the year of 'No Purchases'. I'm banning myself from buying anything (net healthy groceries). I will permit myself trades, and/or treats bought with $$ from selling clutter. 

There's so much more I could say, but really it'd just be more procrastinating. I don't even know anymore. Here's to the next 5 months.

[Jean]

On 11/23/2023 at 5:14 AM, Defining said:

I had the house to myself for a few weeks and figured I'd take advantage.... and in reality I just have @#$&ing piles EVERYWHERE. I have .....let's say 16hrs (including sleep) to at least make the piles manageable enough that they are not preventing use of the public spaces of the house.

That does bring back memories. xD I don't care in what state the house was after your efforts, if you're still alive to talk about it, you deserve my kuddos.

 

Facing so many needs (and basic ones, at that) and failing to achieve them also does ring a bell. I try to reframe it ("need" just doesn't work for me anymore after having learned to deal without it anyway since it was out of reach given the state of my energy levels/mindset) and focus on that one thing that will really get things moving. Decluttering is vital and does enter the picture but is often not at the very beginning of it, it often comes second or third. First is either sleep, eat/drink enough (or not too much) or take some fresh air to clear my mind.

 

It's a process but you've got this.