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Salinger

Salinger's nineteenth challenge!

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Welcome to Salinger's nineteenth challenge!

 

Hello hello!

 

February time, and a new challenge to sink our teeth into. No real theme here, mainly as i never remember to keep them up. But also as i want to stay simple. Last challenge was difficult. Depression had its claws in me and i struggled with coping, many days were just me, surviving, lying on the sofa, crying. But i feel a little better this weekend and the new challenge makes me feel a bit revitalised and ready to go...

 

So here are the goals:

 

 

FITNESS

 

  • Go to the gym three times a week. (i now have some sort of workout plan!)
  • Go to the Peak District one day within the challenge. (a nice hike in the countryside)

 

DIET

 

  • Eat healthy, nutritious food. (Track food 4 days a week)
  • Drink more water (3 big glasses per day)
  • Just one takeout during the challenge

 

LIFE

 

  • Meditate each evening (just 15 mins per day)
  • Finish book and choose the next one. 
  • Finish residency proposals and keep making art. 
  • Self care. (shower, brush teeth, drink tea, treat yourself to a biscuit, play with Jackson & Jules etc)
  • See friends more often, call them more often. 

 

Simple and hopefully do-able. I just want to create habits that stick, and ensure my physical and mental health improve. I want to run, jump, climb, play football, play tennis, go on hikes....all these hopes and dreams and no motivation to do the work to get there. This must change NOW!!

 

Peace x

 

 

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13 hours ago, Stribs said:

Good luck!  Can't wait to see you crush it!!

 

 

 

Thanks Stribs <3

 

13 hours ago, Rinna said:

You can do it.  I struggle as well, so let’s do it together.

 

Yes lets do it together Rinna, always here if you need to talk xx

 

9 hours ago, Cheetah said:

Happy Challenge!  You got this!

 

Thank you Cheetah!! xx

 

1 hour ago, jonfirestar said:

Depression is a bitch! You got this Lizz. 

 

Yes it bloody is....thanks Jon, so good to see you back xx

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hi all, its 3.30pm here. Been a busy day and its gone pretty quickly so far today. This morning, i think i was quite manic, and i started to get all excited about potentially creating/curating/organising another big major exhibition. I have started to email artists i want involved. One thing thats bad about me, i think bad?? Is that im majorly ambitious. I want to work with the best artists out there, a lot of them are already well known. So, i just contact them (or rather, i contact their representatives) and send proposals....i have got a bit of a good track record as in ive curated a big exhibition in 2017 with well known artists. Hopefully that goes for me! 

 

But the bad? Well it means expecting a lot of knock backs....maybe they will ALL say no....?

 

ALso its frustrating catch 22...do i contact artists first without having a venue secured? Or do i enquire about a venue without having artists secured?? Bluergh. Anyway my mood is dropping a little with stress. 

 

And im determined to not let it, this is fun, or it should be... this period of time is me planting seeds, an idea, and maybe in a year or two i will look back to today, while stood in a gallery surrounded by amazing art work?! haha

 

Oh...a little story. In 2016 i went to an exhibition in London and saw this 18 minute video which was literally just a man in a field shouting 'hello' at the camera....he shouted with all his mite, until he was exhausted and hoarse. I was mesmerised. Perfect. wonderful art. 

 

I lost the notebook with his name in ... and have been searching on and off since then! Yesterday i FOUND his name.... yay. I have contacted his studio to see if i can show the video in my new exhibition. How fucking awesome will that be if its a yes :o 

 

OK - I might take a little break now, wash the dishes, drink some tea...then get back to work. 

 

x

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I've always admired people who can do a job that requires handling a lot of rejection.  I know it hits you pretty hard when it comes, but it's impressive that you're still going at it.  Stay strong, keep the faith.  The nos will come, but the yesses will come, too.  The right things will happen in the right time, I'm sure of it.  You're doing great work Sal, keep it up!

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Hi! You're gonna do great :D

 

In order to get to the yes you need to get a lot of no's. And if you don't try you won't get the yes anyway.

I'm steeling myself for this too, cause after this book is published the next one will most definitely be rejected a lot till I find a publisher. 

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2 hours ago, Salinger said:

One thing thats bad about me, i think bad?? Is that im majorly ambitious.

 

not inherently bad, i don't think? ambitiousness can be a great strength- urging you to put yourself out there and contact people like you mentioned, getting you to reach for difficult things -it just comes with some downsides (like rejections) and requires balance, like most things do. as long as you're not picking out your supervillain laugh or something, it's not bad at all. :)

 

*shakes pompoms* cheering for you, Sal!

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2 hours ago, Salinger said:

In 2016 i went to an exhibition in London and saw this 18 minute video which was literally just a man in a field shouting 'hello' at the camera....he shouted with all his mite, until he was exhausted and hoarse.

 

Holy shit this sounds right up my alley I WANT TO BE A YELLING ARTIST

 

Happy February!  You will defeat this challenge!!

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2 hours ago, Cheetah said:

I've always admired people who can do a job that requires handling a lot of rejection.  I know it hits you pretty hard when it comes, but it's impressive that you're still going at it.  Stay strong, keep the faith.  The nos will come, but the yesses will come, too.  The right things will happen in the right time, I'm sure of it.  You're doing great work Sal, keep it up!

 

Thank you Cheetah <3 I think as ive gotten older, and faced MORE rejection, well yes it hits me hard but the TIME it takes for me to dust myself down and get back to it, that time is reducing. Like the funding rejection, the very next day i started the Etsy shop...things like that, im getting good at. Helps to have amazing supportive friends around me, pushing me on. xx

 

2 hours ago, Echoceanic said:

Hi! You're gonna do great :D

 

In order to get to the yes you need to get a lot of no's. And if you don't try you won't get the yes anyway.

I'm steeling myself for this too, cause after this book is published the next one will most definitely be rejected a lot till I find a publisher. 

 

Thanks Echo :) good luck to you too!!! We can do it! x

 

24 minutes ago, Miaulin said:

 

not inherently bad, i don't think? ambitiousness can be a great strength- urging you to put yourself out there and contact people like you mentioned, getting you to reach for difficult things -it just comes with some downsides (like rejections) and requires balance, like most things do. as long as you're not picking out your supervillain laugh or something, it's not bad at all. :)

 

*shakes pompoms* cheering for you, Sal!

 

MWOHAHAHAH *evil laugh* haha naaaa cant do it. Although being a super villain sounds pretty good at the moment. hehe

 

Thanks for the pompom shakes :D

 

22 minutes ago, shaar said:

 

Holy shit this sounds right up my alley I WANT TO BE A YELLING ARTIST

 

Happy February!  You will defeat this challenge!!

 

Yeah mega cool dont you think, this is just a couple of minutes of it.....imagine sat for 18 mins watching it, you become exhausted as well....fucking brilliant. 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for the encouragement Shaar <3 xx 

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Hey all morning! Nearly 10am here, i have had some cereal and im drinking a tea. Its cloudy out, and pretty cold. I had to jump out of bed and put the bins out as we both forgot last night aaaghhh. But i managed to do it in time !

 

Im less manic than i was yesterday, but ive only JUST got up, so that may change ha but i do think my mood has slipped a little. I will take it easy. 

 

I have emails to send, work to do, proposals to write etc

 

Tomorrow i get some money woooo and i have a study day in town. (well an afternoon, 3 hours to do work) that will be good, and i will see my friend, havent seen her for about a month!!!

 

I will also sort out a food shop delivery to arrive on Thursday morning...

 

Things seem ok though really, just need to keep plugging away, and taking things one hour at a time xx

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17 hours ago, shaar said:

I WANT TO BE A YELLING ARTIST

I think you already are... at least around here.

 

1 hour ago, Salinger said:

I had to jump out of bed and put the bins out as we both forgot last night aaaghhh. But i managed to do it in time !

This is me every Thursday.

 

Your exhibition sounds pretty cool, and I think if you go after the artists and the space at the same time, you'll be okay :) And being ambitious is NOT a bad thing...you got this!!!

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2 hours ago, Stribs said:

 

Your exhibition sounds pretty cool, and I think if you go after the artists and the space at the same time, you'll be okay :) And being ambitious is NOT a bad thing...you got this!!!

 

Thanks Stribs. I hope so. xx

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Hi there, its 2.20pm. Just spoke to my dad, not good news. As some of you know, he has cancer, its been ok, he had extensive radiotherapy, and the cells decreased. He has tests every 2 months (i think) and it sees what the cells are doing. For the past 3/4 months its been around the same level. But its jumped up ALOT this time :( im stressing like mad. I cant cry either. My sister sobbed when my dad told her, i just sat there. 

 

I dont know what it means. My dad said he doesnt feel any different. But all i can think is that this will eventually kill him. And that makes me want to smash up everything in sight. 

 

I dont know how to cope right now. Just needed somewhere to write down my feelings. Thanks xx

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hey sal, checking in after a long weekend.

sorry about your dad. that is really tough.  but he sounds like a tough determined man.  cancer can be fought off so never give up hope.

 

I can't believe another challenge has begun !  I feel like I've done nothing that useful in my last challenge.

 

I don't think I can spare the time to start another challenge this morning (later, yes perhaps the end of the day or tomorrow)....

 

but I really enjoy reaching out to you.  I feel like we're in this together!

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I think... you know.  Hmm.  This is tough.  I think at least you all -know- and are on the same page.  You know time is limited - to be fair it really is for all of us in the grand scheme of things - but you know that time is cutting short and you can all cope together, and be there for one another, and just... take it as it comes, for when it happens.  My dad passed away suddenly over a decade ago and I often wonder if I would have rather had it the other way around, a situation like yours, and I've come to the moot point that it just sucks out loud either way.

 

Take care of your family and let them take care of you, and take care of yourself, and we will help where we can.  Please keep us updated, and please don't feel bad about needing to vent or dump feelings - TGP is spot on, we are all in this together, no matter what. <3

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7 hours ago, TGP said:

hey sal, checking in after a long weekend.

sorry about your dad. that is really tough.  but he sounds like a tough determined man.  cancer can be fought off so never give up hope.

 

I can't believe another challenge has begun !  I feel like I've done nothing that useful in my last challenge.

 

I don't think I can spare the time to start another challenge this morning (later, yes perhaps the end of the day or tomorrow)....

 

but I really enjoy reaching out to you.  I feel like we're in this together!

 

Thank you TGP. I wont give up hope no. Will try not to anyway. 

 

Yes we are in this together and i appreciate your friendship so much xx

 

4 hours ago, shaar said:

I think... you know.  Hmm.  This is tough.  I think at least you all -know- and are on the same page.  You know time is limited - to be fair it really is for all of us in the grand scheme of things - but you know that time is cutting short and you can all cope together, and be there for one another, and just... take it as it comes, for when it happens.  My dad passed away suddenly over a decade ago and I often wonder if I would have rather had it the other way around, a situation like yours, and I've come to the moot point that it just sucks out loud either way.

 

Take care of your family and let them take care of you, and take care of yourself, and we will help where we can.  Please keep us updated, and please don't feel bad about needing to vent or dump feelings - TGP is spot on, we are all in this together, no matter what. <3

 

Thanks Shaar, feels good to have you by my side. I feel less alone. xx

 

 

Since the news about my dad, i screamed into a pillow, i made some fucked up sound art, I listened to music very loudly, i cried, i watched the Simpsons, i made a sausage butty, and then Ste, my housemate came home. I told him, and he hugged me and we talked it out a bit. 

 

Then we just chilled out and watched football and chatted about other things. 

 

I then got a really sad/difficult message from a close friend, whose brother has been arrested for having bad images of children. Cant say much obviously but of course she is devastated :( not sure how to support her. Ive told her im here always when she wants to talk. Fuck. Cant imagine what shes going through. 

 

Anyway....its nearly 11pm, i will chill out then sleep soon. Thanks for the support xx

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Oh no, Sal!  I'm so sorry about your dad!  I just hope that no matter what happens, you guys get through it okay!!   I'm also sorry for your friend.  I had a sorority sister whose husband was arrested for the same thing, and it was truly impossible to know what to say.  Very rough situation.  I hope today is better!!

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On 2/6/2019 at 11:46 AM, Stribs said:

Oh no, Sal!  I'm so sorry about your dad!  I just hope that no matter what happens, you guys get through it okay!!   I'm also sorry for your friend.  I had a sorority sister whose husband was arrested for the same thing, and it was truly impossible to know what to say.  Very rough situation.  I hope today is better!!

 

Thank you Stribs. xx

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Hey all, morning. Its 6.30am. Been up since 5.30...couldnt sleep much. 

 

Quick update....

 

Wednesday - met my friend to help her with a presentation. Had a burger. Then met another friend and drank probably too much alcohol. Stayed out too late also. 

Thursday - Didnt do much, ate too much pizza, slept a lot. Had therapy. Food shop arrived. 

 

Big. Fat. Fails. 

 

I think the stress of my dads news made me want to just go and see friends and forget about it. Or is that an excuse? Anyway i did nothing wrong. 

 

I got money on Wednesday, and its pretty much all gone already, i had a lot to pay out this month, bills, loan debts etc. I now have to be very careful with what i spend :( fed up of it being this every fucking month. But in 4 weeks, that may all change?! 

 

Im meant to have a meeting later at 4pm with a friend, to go through some proposals. But im seriously considering cancelling. I dont have money for the bus really, and we will no doubt have some beers. 

 

Im trying to be conscious of what i spend...so for instance, tomorrow i have a gig (which ive already got the ticket for) and so that means drinking a bit and spending a bit of money. So i cant really do that two days in a row!!

 

Wish i didnt have to worry about this stuff. Perhaps  i need to promote my etsy shop more?!

 

Anyway...food shop arrived yesterday, so im sorted pretty much for food this month. Lots of healthy stuff ...

 

Also ill get a bus pass on Monday for the week i think, to use for the gym. Its kinda expensive, the bus, its £17 for the week, thats a lot isnt it!? 

 

Can you tell i feel crappy this morning ? ! hahahhaha moan moan moan. 

 

another cup of tea is needed i think! xx

 

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I hope you're doing okay Sal. When stuff like that happens I go numb too. But I'm glad you're still trying and finding ways to cope. We're always here if you need to vent or talk.

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